Title → Love Lessons
Anime → Bleach
Pairing → IchiIshi; Ichigo Kurosaki/Uryū Ishida and IshiHime; Uryū Ishida/Orihime Inoue
Rated → M

Summary Our perverted substitute Soul Reaper tries to give lessons in seduction to the blue haired Quincy and that way help him get a certain pretty orange haired girl with grey eyes, without knowing that he'll fall victim to his own trap and that the seduced one will end up being himself.

Uryū Ishida is NOT OOC because: He can be this shy, innocent and cute several times. Examples for you Non-Believers

① He blushed when Orihime started changing in fron of him.
② He blushed when that vampire-like lady got close to him.
③ He blushed in episode 200 when Mayuri was healing Nemu.
④ He blushed on episode 200, when Nemu suffocated him with her boobs AND he even fainted out of embarrassment.
⑤ He blushes whenever he's near Orihime or when someone compliments him.

AND besides, after I heard Yammi calling him a "Four eyed twink" in episode 272? I'M ALLOWED to make him as cute as I want to.

So in other words... URYŪ ISHIDA IS NOT OUT OF CHARACTER!

I made 3 really cool IchiIshi videos with flawless editing. So if anyone wants to see them? BUT DON'T FORGET TO TAKE OFF THE SPACES AND ADD A / RIGHT AFTER .COM❣

Here are the YouTube links: (1) www. youtube .com watch?v=KcRypYI-Qdc AND (2) www. youtube .com watch?v=rLhF3BXfbcY (3) www. youtube watch?v=2i2LCEOOXUc

→ Chapter 1: Girl Troubles and The First Lesson

It's been two weeks since he's been trying, but as hard as he tries and as many times as he practices, his shy nature won't allow him to expresss his feelings clearly, to confess his pure and sincere love to the person he considers to be the most important in the world, the person his whole world revolves around, he needed her almost as much as he needed to breath, her scent, her bright grey eyes, her beautiful and long orange hair, her smile... her love.

His heart was filled with an impotent anger. Why was he like this? Why was he so indecisive and such coward? And most importantly. What did that stupid substitute Soul Reaper have that he lacked? Yes, that boy with spiky orange hair and chocolate brown eyes who happened to be stubborn, short-tempered, strong-willed and impulsive. Who made him feel jumpy but, he couldn't understand why he felt nervous whenever they were face to face. The person that the love of his life would worship the ground he walked on. Every time he ignored her, every time he declined her offers, every time he rejected her, every time the girl suffered because of him made his blood boil and whenever the girl would waste her tears on that jerk who would never even give her a chance, now that irritated him enormously. What the hell was wrong with that guy? It was obvious to his sapphire blue eyes that, he had no idea what precious jewel he was treating as trash everytime she tried to get close to him.

If only he could, if only there was a way for him to show her his true feelings, if he could have the minimum of chance to get in her heart, too wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice that he was walking straight towards the orange haired girl and ended up crashing into her, he couldn't stop before the impact and felt how his cheeks started reddening at an alarming speed, how his sweat started running down his pale skin, how his blue eyes started getting darker because of his inevitable embarrassment/nervousness, his body was shaking like a sheet of paper inside of a whirlwind, the same thing could be said about his legs and fists, which he clenched hard enough to feel pain, causing him to hurt his restless hand, he gulped and tried to articulate the first word.

"Hello, Inoue-san." he was finally able to say after he inhaled and exhaled large amounts of air repeatedly.

"Hello, Ishida-kun! How are you?"

"Huh? Oh! I-I'm good... very good."

"I don't know... you look very pale. Are you feeling okay?" she asked in a concerned tone as she put a soft hand over his forehead, which increased Uryū's body temperature.

"Yes... I fe-feel good, very go-good. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Ishida-kun, you don't laugh like that."

"Oh... well, I've always laughed like this. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Really? I don't know, lately you've seemed strange."

"Well, it's just... tha-that... I didn't want to... what I want is..."

"Relax Uryū, if you wanna say something you can say it without any fear, your friend Orihime Inoue will understand."

"It's just... you... me... us... them..."

"Oh! I get it! You want me to play a guessing game? I know! Personal pronouns."

"Ha ha! Of course, but... what I was trying to say was..."

"What is it?"

"That I... that I think I... lo... nothing!" the blue haired boy started running like the wind without ever turning back, leaving the innocent orange haired girl really confused.

"Idiot... idiot... You're a disgrace to the Quincy name!" the blue eyed boy mentally insulted himself, standing in a dead end of an alley, wishing he could hit his head against the wall.

He was there for a couple of hours, without knowing what to do, he couldn't stay hidden like a sewer rat, little by little the night hid everything with its darkness, the sun was disappearing behind the horizon, generating a beautiful sight worthy of being admired, he had to hurry up if he didn't want to spend the night outside in the streets, he ran as fast he could, trying to return to his apartment at an acceptable hour, every corner was covered in darkness, until the inevitable happened...

"Oh just great!" he yelled as he furiously kicked the dirt on the floor, the more he looked the more lost he got, he didn't dare to move a step, until he remembered that Kurosaki's house was nearby, having memorized the house he was able to reach it and rang the doorbell a few times, after that, he heard an annoyed Ichigo yell 'Damn it! I'm coming.' and after he yelled that, Ichigo lazily opened the door.

"What do you want Quincy?"

"Well... good night Kurosaki." -sweat drop-

"It was a good night until now, if you don't have anything else to say, well then you can get the hell out of my house." The redhead was about to close the door in his nose, but the younger one was too fast for him and had stepped inside the substitute Soul Reaper's house, who was staring at him with his permanent scowl on.

"Dork, get out of my house!"

"Don't call me that, you carrot top! You don't have to act so upset about it!"

"Upset? Hey! Like it wasn't enough torture for me to hunt down Hollows, save the world and go to the same High school with you already, but now you want to annoy the shit out of me in my own damn house?"

"It's just... what happened... the reason is..."

"The reason is?"

"Promise you won't laugh..." The blue haired boy started playing with his Quincy bracelet.

"Fine, whatever, just talk already so I can go back to sleep."

"I... got lost... in the middle of my way home..." Uryū blushes and pushes his glasses up his nose after saying this.

"..."

"Don't laugh or I'll shoot you!"

"You're a dork and you'll never change Uryū."

"I already know that but, the question is if I can or can't spend the night here?"

"Hmm... alright, but only because I don't want you getting raped by a hobo, if you stay here it doesn't bother me anyways."

"Thank you!" The blue haired boy launched himself with open arms like a little kid does with his father, the redhead's face turned a weak shade of red by this action, then he stepped back and hid his not too noticeable blush.

"Could I... ask you a favor?"

"Later, come take a seat. You're stiffer than the fish I have in the freezer."

"Yes..." The younger boy shyly accepted the invitation.

The house had a cosy and comfortable atmosphere, there was a black leather couch, the walls were baby blue, there was a door to the right that led to the dining room, a long table was there, a table where the redhead asked him (ordered him) to sit down and not move.

"You want a drink? Tea, soda, juice box?"

"Huh? Oh yes, a Strawberry juice box please."

"Ok." The redhead gave him 5 Strawberry juice boxes, that he finished in a few seconds, A surprised Ichigo raised an eyebrow at him.

"Geeze, you were thirsty weren't you. Huh, dork?"

"I told you to stop calling me that, you carrot top! I... what I wanted to ask you..."

"Oh yeah... that, tell me."

"Well... you know a lot about girls. Right?"

"Yup... why?"

"It's just... Inoue-san... well... she... she... ah! You see? I freeze and can't seem to talk like I normally do!"

"Oh... now I get it, you like Orihime, you wanna know if she likes you but don't know how to tell her, you try to explain but you get tongue-tied and can only seem to tell her stuff that makes no sense or has no logic. Am I right?"

"Holy shit Kurosaki... and I barely told you anything."

"You're just too easily predictable."

"I know... and that's exactly what happened, I don't know how to confess to her and I've been thinking that since girls seem to automatically throw themselves at you... you might be able to help me."

"Umm... Maybe, but with an ammature such as yourself it might be harder."

"Just answer my question! Will you help me or not?"

"Yes, yes, calm down."

"OK, what I want is for you tell me how to relax and not screw things up."

"Alright, let's practice, pretend I'm Orihime."

"Besides for the same colored hair, it's going to be very difficult."

"You shut the hell up and just do it."

"Fine... sheesh..." The blue haired boy breathed in deep and stared at the redhead, noticing the Quincy's blush, Ichigo tried hard not to laugh at him because, this situation the younger boy was in amused the substitute Soul Reaper way too much.

"Inoue-san... I... you... lo... lov... Ah! I can't, it's too complicated for me to confuse you with her."

"Well then, close your eyes and problem fixed, dumbass."

"Good idea," he took the advice "Inoue-san... you... I... I... I just can't." The blue haired boy whined.

"It's alright, I can see you tense up too much, so how about I pretend to be you and you pretend to be Orihime, that way I can teach you how to confess along the way."

"Sounds easier... Hi Kurosaki-kun!" The archer imitated the pretty girl's voice.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ishida stop with that silly voice! Ha ha ha ha! Your imitating skills suck! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Shut it Soul Reaper! I'm doing the best I can!"

"..." The redhead looked at him stealthily, which made the younger one nervous, who was cornered to the wall by the other, the redhead put both hands on each side of his head, blocking his exit.

"Is it necessary for you to be this close to me?"

"Shhh... you keep quiet and learn. Are we clear?"

"Ye-yes."

"If being sexy was a crime... then you'd stay locked in jail your entire life." He whispered against his ear, causing him to shudder, he's never been as nervous as right now "If I were to take a photo of you right now... I'd know that angels do exist." He kept on whispering "I wanna be a thief to steal your heart... your smile is so bright that it shines more than the sun itself, I miss it when I wake up, I miss it when I go out, I miss it in my dreams... if someday I can make babies with you I'll ask your parents what they did to make such a beautiful creature like you..." in every phrase, in every sigh, in every word a shiver ran down the archer's spine, who couldn't remember how to breath.

"Kurosaki... I think I understand how you should confess." The archer was redder than a bottle of Ketchup.

"Hmm... perfect, now what's next is the kiss..."

継続する...

To be Continued...

Uryū: WE HAVE TO KISS!? What!? I don't want to kiss YOU, I want to kiss my beautiful Inoue-san.

Ichigo: Hey! It's not like I wanna kiss you either. I'm just trying to tell you what to do so you won't screw things up the next time you see 'your beautiful Inoue-san' -jealous tone-

Uryū: I still don understand why I have to kiss you. -pouts- I mean, you probably have yucky Soul Reaper cooties!

Ichigo: Keep pushing it, just keep pushing it, Quincy.

Uryū: Or what?

Ichigo: I'll bring out Zangetsu.

Uryū: ...So, when do we kiss?

ShyMermaid91: Anyhow, please leave a review.