Author: Diary PM
Re-posted under different title. AU. "So, you're with someone who feels more strongly for you than you do for him?" Complete.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Friendship - Luke S. & Dr. Oliver - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10-30-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8658336
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own As the World Turns.
"I think you should be careful," Alison says, tentatively.
Luke looks up from his coffee. "Don't beat around the bush," he says, dryly.
At her conflicted look, he sighs. "It's fine. I know that my being with Reid is something that you and the others are having a hard time accepting." Katie and Chris are the only ones who are actively cheering the relationship on.
Of course, in Chris's case, it's less cheering and more, 'Luke, if you want your boyfriend to live, it would be a good idea to take him far away from me and keep him there.' Still, Luke is appreciative of the fact that Chris has no issues with him and that the doctor's issue with Reid is the fact that Reid is Reid rather than Reid is gay.
Alison stirs her coffee. "I want you to be happy, whether it's with Noah or not," she says, firmly. "It- it seems like Doctor Oliver is really into you. Um, which is weird to see, to be honest. And you don't seem like you return that on the same level." Holding up her hands, she says, "I could be totally wrong, and if so, I'm sorry. But I saw how you were with Noah, and I see how you are with Doctor Oliver. And there's a marked difference."
Sighing, Luke takes another sip of his coffee. "I know."
"If you know," she says, gently.
"Look, Alison, I can't talk to you about this," Luke says. "I know you think Noah and I are destined to be together, but I don't want that. Deep down, I don't think he does, either. I'd love to be his friend, a real friend, and hang out with him. But-"
"Okay," Alison says, soothingly. "I'll respect that. And I won't pry. But I'm just putting it out, that if you need or want someone to talk to, I'm here."
Nodding, she goes back to her bagel.
After a few moments of silence, Luke says, "Okay, I'm sorry if this is out of line, but: You've made a lot of mistakes in your relationships."
"That's putting it in very nice and mild terms," she says, self-deprecatingly.
"How did you stop yourself from making them again when you got into a different one?"
"I didn't," she points out, bluntly. "You know my history, Luke."
"Yeah," he agrees. "I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Noah."
"Everyone makes mistakes in relationships."
"I know. I've already made several in mine with Reid," he says, somewhat glumly. "But I don't want to make the same ones."
"So, you're with someone who feels more strongly for you than you do for him?"
Shaking his head, Luke says, "With Noah, I could be clingy. Sometimes, I would try to put his happiness above my own. And even when I realised what I was doing, even though I wasn't happy, I kept doing it. I need to remember that my happiness is important, too. And that space can be a good thing."
"It's good you realise that. Really." Taking a breath, she says, "But it seems like maybe you're guarding a little too much. And that's normal, Luke. Especially for people like us," she adds, as Luke gives a mournful sigh of agreement. "In fact, it's a good idea to not throw yourself in one hundred percent right away, but if you want a real chance with Doctor Oliver, I think you should open the gates a little more. And I'm not saying this because I want you with Noah, but if you really can't or don't want to do that, then, you should rethink being in a relationship."
"You know, I told Reid about my past. I thought it would- But he knows about the drinking and my kidney and the election and Brian. He hasn't looked at me any differently." It seemed like Noah had when it came to the whole kidney issue; some part of Luke had always felt judged and found wanting. For all he knows, his own insecurities had created that perception. Either way, however, it's nice to not feel that way.
"Good," Alison says, simply. "I know you aren't fond of Dusty, but he once told me: Find someone who loves you because of your mistakes rather than in spite of them. I, um, don't think I exactly agree with that, but I think you and I deserve someone who's willing to judge us for who we are instead of what we did in the past. God knows we've done some things we can never be proud of, but you know, we're both getting better at doing things we can be."
Smiling, Luke reaches over and squeezes her hand. "You really are," he says, sincerely, hearing the doubt she holds towards herself.
Giving a half-smile, she returns his squeeze. "Thank you. I do hope you can find someone and be happy, whether it's the doctor, Noah, or someone else."
"I hope the same for you, whether it's Casey or someone else." He considers asking her to promise not to hurt Aaron, again, if she should somehow find herself back with him, but he squashes the impulse. "I'm going to go meet Reid for lunch. Want to come?"
"Sorry," she answers, "but I'm babysitting Jacob for Katie and Chris."
"Thank you for that." At her puzzled look, he explains, "Whose boyfriend would be on babysitting duty if not for you?"
Laughing, she leans over and kisses his cheek. "See you on Monday?"
"Yeah," he answers as they stand and hug.
"You love The Godfather 1 and 2," Luke points out in exasperation as they enter the apartment.
Reid shrugs. "And I'll concede that Caan is able to perfectly portray the part of Sonny. I'm not sure another actor could do as well as he did. However, aside from that one role, his acting is pathetic."
"Have you seen the original film version of Alien Nation?"
"Yes," Reid answers, going over to the fridge. Luke rolls his eyes; they just had lunch. "Beverage of choice?"
"Water," Luke says, sitting down on the couch. "Well, what did you think of it?"
"It was boring and cliché, despite it's attempts to make provoking social commentary."
"I thought you liked Mandy Patinkin," Luke notes as Reid hands him the water and sits down.
"I do," Reid says, smiling. "I didn't have a problem with his performance, but I preferred Pierpoint's."
"You're impossible," Luke says with a sigh, though he can't help the smile on his face. "When and how did you even find time to watch all this stuff?"
"It annoyed my uncle to have the TV on. Ergo, the TV was on as much as I could get away with," Reid answers, casually. "It taught me to concentrate on my work when there possibilities for distraction. It also helped me improve my compartmentalisation skills."
Feeling the urge to kiss Reid, Luke leans over.
As Reid returns the kiss, Luke mentally kicks himself as he feels the heat and affection overtake him. Reid might be really into Luke, but Luke is in love with the doctor. And he has a very hard time not throwing himself into things one hundred percent, even when it would be better for everyone if he wouldn't.
"I love you," he murmurs, continuing the kiss, mentally going in every which direction. Hoping Reid didn't hear, glad and relieved it's out, anxious for Reid's reaction, hope and fear, a desire to rewind, an urge to run like crazy, and enjoying the kiss.
Unfortunately, the part he was trying to concentrate on, the kiss, is stopped when Reid breaks apart, studying Luke's face with quiet observation.
Your move, doc.