Phantom Brigade: Genei Ryodan Spider # 5: Feitan

By The Lady Rai Hiiragizawa

Summary: An alternate universe. Kurapica spares Feitan from death, leaving him the single sole survivor of the Genei Ryodan Spider Group. Beaten but not broken, he leaves York New City to look for his lost identity...

(A/N: Regarding Feitan's number, I am taking a wild guess. I merely followed the order of how they appear in the 2nd Season Opening Theme as Kurapica runs by. I am most likely wrong. And as for the "sole survivor" title, this is an alternative universe, and in it, Kurapica has killed the other 12 members of the Phantom Brigade, with the inclusion of both Kuroro and Hisoka, leaving Feitan the last living member.)

Phantom Brigade: Genei Ryodan Spider # 5: Feitan

By The Lady Rai Hiiragizawa

CHAPTER THREE: Freedom

After what seemed like hours, my pained sobs ceased, and I /un/willingly let go of the girl I held so close, holding her as if she were really /her/...

"Daijobu?"

I had no intension to cry any longer, but the concern in her voice made me gasp back a sob. I turn my eyes away from her and to my hands, and for no particular reason, I begin to talk about my love.

"I really loved her, you know..."

Though I was not looking at her, I sensed her nodding her head, so I continued with my painful monologue. I was in pain, so much pain I could hardly speak... But I forced myself on... I wanted to say it, I had to... I /needed/ to... For her... So I continue.

"She was everything to me... Every moment of our time together was precious... If only I had what Shalnark-kun had... WHat I did was never good enough..."

I continue talking, completly tunning myself out from the outside world, my monologue drawling on at a painful pace...

"If only I had what Shalnark-kun had... To have the courage and sincerity to tell the woman you love what she means to you... He didn't give a damn about what others thought of him, he still told his true feelings to Shizuku-kun, despite the negative effects or the insults he was getting soft... But I don't have that... I never had that!"

My voice cracks as I feel another torent of sobs coming, but I force them back, swallowing the lump that had risen in my throat. I had to finish this... For her... If I started crying again, I would never be able to stop, and I would never have a chance to finish this!

""I was--"

I cough, and the girl holds my shaking shoulders, and I can sense true compassion in her. I smile slightly, but I continue anyway.

"I was too afraid to do that... I was alwayse afraid... Afraid they would think I was weak, not worthy a member of the Phanto Brigade... I didn't want that... But I was fool..."

I let a few hot tears down my checks, and I am comforted by the girl as she wipes them away...

"I was such a fool... I was to afraid to tell her what I really felt... Not that I deserved that pleasure... I was to much of a coward... To much of a jerk... I cared about what other people thought about me more than what it would be like to share her love... I was such an idiot! I was to scared to look weak and a hopeless romantic in front of everyone... I never once noticed how happy Shalnark-kun and Shizuku-kun were... Or ever thought about how it would feel if that were me and her instead..."

I suddenly chuckle in the middle of my monologue, I fear I may be going mad.

"And now--"

I suck in a deep breath, and prepair myself, as for reasons I myself have no idea why, I take the girls hands in my own, pla cing them on my wet checks.

"And now I can never rest... Perhaps she won't let me... I still see her... Hear her screams, feel her pain... But I suppose I deserve this fate..."

And with that, I bow my head low, I can no longer continue...

But the girl surprises me with a suggestion.

"Maybe... maybe if you tell her to leave you, she will..."

I look up at her, confusion in my eyes. I still cannot see her face.

"If you tell her how you feel..."

I blink, completly dumbfounded by her simple suggestion. But I do as she says. Slowly, I speak.

"Anata? Can you hear me? I... I wanted to say I love you... I wanted to say I ask your forgivness, for never showing that love for you... I was too afraid... I love you koibito... I wish you could hear me..."

I sense the girl smile, and with a faint whisper she says,

"I heared you..."

Suddenly, at those words, as I looked up to try to see her face, I feel an incredibly heavy burden has been lifted from my soul, and I can breath again... But with that feeling comes disbelief.

"Omae wa..."

The girl takes me in her arms once again, and that is all I can do to hold back, I push her away and pull her lower to face me... And I feel like I had just seen the dead.

"Omae wa..."

I cannot bring myself to say her name... /She/ was here?! But how?! Wasn't she...

"But I am..."

I push myself off the bed and spin sharply on my heel so that I face her, and I kneel down, taking her hands into me own. My eyes close, and I rest my head on her chest contentedly... That is, until she speaks again.

"And so are you..."

My eyes fly open and I look up at her in utter and total confusion. To my total surprise, I can she she is crying.

"He killed you too... But yet he let you live..."

"Nani...?"

I did not understand what she was telling me... 'He killed me...?! But let me live?! What was that suppose to mean?

Once again she speaks, and this time I understand.

"He gave you back to me... But he did it in the only way possible..."

I suddenly understand what she is trying to tell me....

"Am I...?"

Slowly, she nods her head, purple bang bouncing.

"Yes Fei-kun... You're home."

And with that, she leans in and kisses me... And gives me her love.

I smile, deepening the kiss...

I could be with her now...

I could be with her now for all eternity.

"Aishiteru... Machi-chan..."

Good bye, my bright eyed love...

You to chain user. You are now free from your curse...

And I of mine.

Owari.

A/N: I'M DONE! I'M FINNALY DONE!!! Bust open the Vintage '83! Though... This last chapter was a tad short... (For me.) But I loved the romance scene... And the plot twist! Kurapica really did kill him... Wow! Dedicated to the fans and lovers of The Genei Ryodan members who were slain by Kurapica (Notice how neither Feitan or Machi said the word "dead"? I heard somewhere dead people are sensitive about that...). My heart goes out to you. And as for the slight drama, well, sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. (Yep, "Spider" won in the coin toss, so the girl was Machi. Yay! And yep, the other two girls and the boy talking to Machi were Shizuku and Pakunoda, and the boy was Shal. Sorry if Feitan sounded insulting!) Hopefully, I'll be able to write another fic like this... Maybe a kawaii ShalnarxShizuku one if I do! That would be cute... Well, That's it. It's over. I love you Fei, you are the Spider who caught my heart in your Web... (OK, that sounded REALLY corney...) Ja, Sayonara, minna-san! 'Till my ShalnarkxShizuku fic comes out then! Coming to a near you! (I have got to stop saying that...) Smiles

PS: "Phantom Brigade" is the english version of "Genei Ryodan"; while "Spider" is just their second name... Something like that. I think that is what member are called. Not sure though...