|Sometimes It's Best Not To Ask
Author: Opal1030 PM
Originally a one shot titled "Blondes and Brunettes". Find out what happens when Connie and Guy go to the store and the team tagsalong. This is also my first attempt at humor.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,505 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12-10-12 - Published: 11-05-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8677158
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Ducks.
Author's Note: So, this is the last chapter. I've enjoyed writing this and I hope everyone who has read it has enjoyed it as well.
Unlike Julie, Connie wasn't scared of much, but having Fluffy crawl up her leg had brought her to her limit. So there she was sitting back to back with Julie on the kitchen table each holding a frying pan. Adam and Ken had returned to manning the kitchen and living room area. Fulton, Russ, Dwayne, and Goldberg searched the rooms and hall down by the laundry room. At the opposite end of the house—armed with hockey sticks and cooking pots—Portman, Luis, Guy, Charlie, and Averman (in that order) were lined up along the wall outside of the master bedroom. They all spoke in whispers, Averman singing the Mission Impossible theme under his breath.
"Are you sure it went in there?" Luis asked Portman looking over his shoulder into the dark room.
"Yes!" Portman hissed becoming irritated this was the third time he had to answer the question.
"I still can't believe that thing got out," Guy muttered to himself.
"I can't believe you let it get away," hissed Charlie; all the while Averman was gradually becoming louder behind him.
"Well I'm so sorry!," Guy retorted, "A little warning would've been nice!"
"What did you want? Bells and whistles?" Charlie raised his voice.
"I don't know! How 'bout 'Guy, Connie there's a huge spider on the loose'!"
"Would you two shut up!" Portman called from the front of the line. At the rear Averman was becoming even louder.
"Yeah, man it's not that we didn't want to tell you. It's just we didn't want to interrupt you and Connie," Luis explained, though he really wasn't sure why no one told them.
"Sometimes, not often, but sometimes it's okay to interrupt," Guy informed his tone hissy.
"Would you cut that out!" Charlie snapped at Averman.
"Sorry, I was just trying to set the mood," said Averman sheepishly.
Turning back to the other three, Charlie asked, "So are we just going to stand here or are we going in after it?"
"We're going in," Replied Portman, "On the count of three."
"Wait! Slow and soft, we don't want to scare it," Luis warned. They nodded and Portman began the count. Stepping cautiously, they made it to the threshold where Portman suddenly stopped causing the other four to collide into him and each other.
"Averman was right, you do smell good," Charlie said upon getting a good whiff of Guy's cologne.
"Told you," Averman smiled. Guy glared from over his shoulder at the two, all the while Luis and Portman leaned in to sniff the back of his neck.
"Damn Germaine!," Portman hooted.
"It's very…what's the word?" Luis snapped his finger as several words, but not the one he was looking for, went through his head.
"Hot?" Charlie suggested, leaning in for another whiff.
"No," Luis shook his head.
"Sexy?" said Portman, also grabbing one more sniff.
"Like bad boy sexy." Averman piped.
"What is it?"Luis asked, as he and the other boys leaned in for another whiff. Guy found himself pinned against the wall, his teammates all sniffing him.
"Do you mind!" he snapped pushing them away. At that moment a screech came from the far end of the house. Leaving their post they ran down the hall, through the living room and then kitchen, down to the laundry where Fulton, Russ, and Dwayne were watching Goldberg jump around in a circle screaming, "It's got me! It's got me!" as he pulled off his shirt.
"OHHHH!" they all groaned at the sight of Goldberg's bare chest.
"Dude," Fulton frowned, "Your tag was out; Dwayne was just tucking it in."
"Sorry partner," Dwayne said handing the goalie his shirt, "Didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh, well you can never be too safe," Goldberg replied, slightly embarrassed.
"Next time spare us all and live on the edge," Averman advised.
Another shriek was heard, this time from the kitchen. Coming to the kitchen they found Adam and Ken both making a nose dive attempting to catch the spider under a pot as it scurried toward the table. They missed, only succeeding in bumping heads. Quite relived the furry little critter began to climb one of the chair legs. Screeching both of the girls jumped off the table, Connie toward the living room and Julie toward the laundry room. Fulton, being the closest, also made a go at it, but missed as well. Confused the spider slid back down to floor and darted fro the living room.
"This ends here!" Portman declared running back toward the laundry room with Fulton, Dwayne, Ken and Russ at his heel. Snatching the pot Averman held Guy sprinted in the other direction for the living room, everyone else right behind him. Though it was never said, they all knew the plan: came at it from both sides…and it worked! Almost.
Running down the hall from the laundry to the front door Portman ran into Connie causing her to fall on her back. At the same time, Guy dove in from the other side trying to catch Fluffy under the pot. He too missed, but landed right on top of his girlfriend as a loud pop rung through the house. There, inches from Connie's, head Dwayne had caught Fluffy under a mixing bowl. Everyone hooted and cheered but the celebration was short lived as the front door opened. They all gawked at the two figures as they stepped into the house. Connie still on the floor canted her head back and Guy looked up to see a small pair of cleats and a much larger pair of dress shoes.
"Hi Jamie. Hi Daddy," greeted Connie in a small voice.
"Hi sir," Guy's voice slightly shook.
Mr. Moreau crossing his arms frowned down at the two. Everyone recognized this was their time to go and hurried out the door. Averman of course couldn't just leave and as he walked past his teammates still on the floor, he knelt down and said, "You know…you two should really do that stuff in private."
"Keep walking Averman," Banks nudged him out the door. Guy could only scowl as he picked himself up of the floor.
Guy made it out of Connie's house alive…barely. It took quite a bit of effort on Connie's part to persuade her father not to strangle her boyfriend. Now at home, Guy stood in the bathroom looking at his dripping wet hair in the bathroom mirror. It was a tad darker than his natural color, but it was blond. Grabbing a towel he ruffled his hair as a knock was heard at the door.
"Guy?" a gentle came from the other side.
"Yeah mom?" he replied.
"I hope you don't mind, but I scheduled you an appointment to get your hair trimmed this weekend."
"Thanks," he dropped the towel on the floor and raked his finger through his hair.
"I was thinking," she continued from the other side of the door, "How about you do something different? Like maybe a new cut…or how about a different color? Like brunette."
Guy could only roll eyes.
Thanks again for reading.