|The Elephant In The Room
Author: scarlotti PM
"It's said and now the elephant in the room is a freaking mammoth, because this whole time she's known. " Jordan reflection on Nathan/Audrey during 3.08. HERE BE SPOILERS. Written for a tumblr prompt. Part 2 now up!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Nathan W. & Audrey P. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,287 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11-11-12 - Published: 11-10-12 - id: 8689984
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: The Elephant in The Room, Part 1
WARNING: Spoilers THROUGH 3.08.
Pairing: J/N & A/N
Prompt: Hmmmm….I thought someone had prompted Nathan and Jordan having a conversation about Naudrey, and now I can't find it. Oh well, my fault anyway since life got in the way and then I decided to re-write it several times (and saw 3.08). I'm still not sure that I'm happy with it, but oh well ;).
"I can tell something's wrong, just tell me where he is please," she's trying for polite and demanding, but the truth is, Jordan feels herself quickly ramping up to full scale worry. Something behind Audrey's eyes looks anxious and lost, and then she's left wondering what exactly Nathan has said to his partner that has Audrey deciding to let her "in" so quickly. She's not used to such instant trust, and it hangs between them in the air like an unspoken pact.
"He's been shot." Audrey says it so calmly at first, that she's not sure what to expect.
Anything but this.
"Oh my g….," she can't finish the statement because her stomach is clenching and she feels oddly weak, "Who did this?"
"He'll pay," there's that calm again, but all Jordan can feel is the itch in her fingers. She hasn't wanted to hurt someone this way in quite a while. Damn right, he'll pay.
"But first I need to bring Nathan back."
She can't have heard that right, but this is Haven and Audrey is a largely unknown quantity to her.
Relief creeps in, through the doubt, and that might be the first time that Jordan accepts that she may have gotten in too deep with Nathan Wuornos.
"Her trouble isn't active yet. We have to trigger it."
"It usually takes some kind of emotional trauma to do that," she's thinking things that she can't be thinking and deep inside she's praying that Audrey will be willing to take the step that she can't for Nathan. He's changed her, somehow, in these weeks, and she knows that she'll willingly stand by and watch whatever Audrey has planned for this woman if it just gets Nathan back.
And that scares her more than she'd like to admit.
Then, because she needs to hear it said, "What are you going to do?"
"Traumatize her." It's written all over Audrey's face. It's the way she says it – casually, like the alternative ending to this little carnival ride was never even an option.
She knows suddenly, that Audrey won't enjoy this, but she will do what it takes. The desperation in the blonde's eyes says what her voice does not; loosing Nathan was never an option for her.
Jordan wonders, briefly, if this is what it looks like when someone begins to unravel.
"Where's Tommy?" If Audrey looked anxious before, she's definitely progressed to frantic.
"Tommy got away, for now." The reassurance comes naturally. Jordan wonders what it is about this woman that inspires loyalty and faith from others. She wonders this even as she feels these feelings take residence inside her. The assurance seems to work, because Parker focuses again.
She should say something now and the nagging voice in the back of her head is taunting her for her lack of reaction. All these years with the Guard, and when she's tested, it comes to this.
With a knife.
In the sitting room.
And she just stands by and watches.
The world spins faster for a moment. She's not sure how, but while she's struggling with the reality of losing Nathan, Audrey's suddenly holstering her gun and she's talking with Moira.
Whatever she said must have been noteworthy, because suddenly the bitter sister is in tears.
Moira's hand is across Nathan's forehead ; he's still so very still. All she can think is "Please, please."
It hurts in ways it shouldn't, because she told herself from the beginning, that she wouldn't let herself get attached. The thrill of Max Hansen's son and the fantastic rush of sensation and endorphins from his touch – that was all that this was supposed to be. Somehow, though, she's dangerously close to falling in love with this man.
"Nathan?" Audrey's tone draws her attention, and she wishes it hadn't, "I was the one that was supposed to….."I was supposed to go."
"I've always loved you."
"I always will love you."
It's said, and now the elephant in the room is a freaking mammoth, because this whole time, she's known. Deep down, she's known that this friendship that Nathan's claimed with his partner is so much more than he's admitted to her. She thinks it may be more than he's really admitted to himself, but to know that Audrey reciprocates? That's a different thing entirely, because she also knows that if it comes down to it for Nathan, it's Audrey.
It's always Audrey.
She's just lost Nathan too – wants to scream that she's just lost him too – so she shouldn't feel like she's intruding on something intimate, but she does.
She thinks she should feel…something….fear?...empathy?...when she sees Crocker eye's glaze over and Moira writhing in pain on the ground, with blood blooming dark on her chest. But all she feels is elation and loss, because Nathan's alive and he's looking at Audrey like she's who he expected to see. Like she's the only thing he wants to see.
And that hurts the most.
But he's alive, and whether or not she almost understands this sudden shift in what she almost had with Nathan and what he has with Audrey (she's pretty sure that something has changed in the last two hours), she's not selfless enough to let go just yet.
So she goes to him when Audrey makes room.
"I was so scared."
And Nathan's comforting her now, when she muses that it should be the other way around - stroking her hair, holding her hand.
"It's ok, it's ok."
So she gives herself these few seconds, before she lets him go all together. She can feel it's coming, wouldn't stop it, now that she knows; that doesn't mean that she can't take this for herself.
The letting go will come soon enough. And she thinks, maybe, that she won't lose him entirely.
A/N: I will be finishing the prompts. Promise! And can we all have a moment of rejoicing for early renewal for Season 4?! Yes!