|1000 Things to NOT do in Panem
Author: acciojubjubbird PM
I find the title fairly self- explanatory... Warning: Many spoilers insideRated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,940 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 05-12-13 - Published: 11-11-12 - id: 8694489
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
1000 Things to NOT do in Panem
Disclaimer: GUYS GUYS GUYS I TOTALLY OWN THE HUNGER GAMES! SEE?! IT'S MINE ALLLLLLLL MINE! ALLLLL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHA!
*A few hours later, after the Tracker Jacker venom has worn off*
I still own nothing...stupid reality
246. Do the Macarena as you rise into the arena on your platform
247. Make Annie the new spokesperson for Rebellion Propos
248. Tell Katniss she was right to shoot the apples in the training center and arena because APPLES ARE RUBBISH!
-okay, fine, it was probably a metaphor/symbol for choices or something like that but whatever!
249. Make bow ties, fezzes, and stetsons the Capitol's new fashion craze
250. Introduce Finnick Odair to one Perseus Jackson
251. Dance around the arena singing "Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die!"
252. Use propos to inspire today's Superbowl advertisers to up their game a little more
253. Recommend the Hunger Games be turned into a much more painful and punishing singing competition
254. Get Cato Excalibur for his birthday, or Anduril, or the Sword of Gryffindor, or Riptide, or Brisingr or...just... no swords, okay?!
-not even butter knives, those things are deadly
255. Ask Gale how it feels being, not only "friend-zoned", but "cousin-zoned"
256. Introduce "Katniss Everdeen: The Girl on Fire" to "Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived" and "Bella Swan: The Girl Who Didn't do Anything"
257. Try to convince Katniss that she is a Daughter of Apollo
258. When the above fails, persuade her to join the Hunters of Artemis
-Peeta and Gale would would have simultaneous fits of misery
259. Take away all of Haymtich's alchohol and lock him in a room full of mouthwash and hand sanitizer
260. Try interbreeding a Mockingjay and Phoenix to create an even better symbol for Katniss
261. Mess with District 13's schedule printers so that they all say "ALL DAY: Throw Water Balloons at President Coin"
262. Introduce Greasy Sae to Mrs. Lovett from 'Sweeney Todd.' They would either hit it off great or try and kill each other
-if it's the latter, I DON'T want to know what they do with the bodies
263. Swap all the Tracker Jacker Venom with Joker Venom
264. Ask "what the heck happened to all the other countries/continents?" in the Panem-Universe
265. Bring Katniss with you to a Pyromaniac Convention
266. Switch Haymitch's alcohol with a non-alcoholic beverage (blazinglizard09)
267. Bring multiple universes' characters together and watch as two Katniss-es, multiple Hawkeyes, multiple Green Arrows, and multiple Green Arrows' sidekicks ("Hey!"), have an archery contest. Meanwhile the Aphrodite children and Aphrodite herself from Percy Jackson and the Olympians give the Capitol people makeovers, and several villains and heroes and tributes and demigods and gods start warring it out. Then wonder loudly who did it when you know their attention is on you (theGirlNightwing)
268. Cut off every single character's beards (Well, all the characters that have beards) and give them all to Peeta
-The boy with the beards... (TheMysteriousGeek2345)
269. Unleash a bunch of Mockingjays on the Capitol and listen to them imitate the Capitolites' accents
-then record that and bring it to the Districts for their amusement (Crystal Silvera)
270. Replace the video that the Districts watch at the reapings with Twilight
-the Districts would literally DIE (Crystal Silvera)
271. Bring the THG cast (ALL of them, even the dead ones) into our world
-even though their confusion would be amusing, none of us want the FBI on our heels, telling us to get rid of the freaks who keep killing random people (Crystal Silvera)
272. Start a fashion trend based on the Capitol's way of dressing (Crystal Silvera)
273. Tell Peeta and Gale that Katniss has gotten together with Finnick
-when they realized the truth you'd be dead faster than you could say, "Sorry!"(Crystal Silvera)
274. Convince Peeta to start using bread words in place of normal ones
-I'm quite sure Katniss wouldn't appreciate the words "I loaf you" (Crystal Silvera)
275. After doing the above, tell Katniss that she kneads to get bready, since she's in for a bit of a jam. After it's gone on for a couple of flours thngs'll go a rye when it quits being bun-ny and she breads him to stop. Oh well, if it makes things feel any butter, at yeast you'll still have Peeta's confused expression to laugh at when Katniss doughs crazy.
276. Allie with an old lady (Othomasl2003)
- even 80 year olds
277. Introduce the Capitol to Katy Perry (kk7)
278. Insist that Capitol civilians are aliens (kk7)
279. Use roses as decorations at Katniss's wedding (kk7)
280. Tell President Snow that he should be called Dictator Snow instead (kk7)
281. When Katniss get to the tree with the lightning (Guest)
282. Sing 'Prim has a little lamb'
- it's a goat (Guest)
283. Sing "Die Young" by Ke$ha in the arena, LOUD (Emily)
284. Steal all of Clove's knives and blame Foxface (Cabin6Camper)
285. Make fun of Glimmer for not knowing how to use the bow and arrow (Cabin6Camper)
286. When doing Glimmers hair, instead of using a hair bow, put an actual bow (Cabin6Camper)
287. Whenever you see a Mutt, sing 'Who let the dogs out' then say "seriously who released the mutts?" (Cabin6Camper)
288. Swap the District 13 uniforms for Capitol clothes and give the Capitol the District 13 uniforms (Demetersdaughter)
289. Ask Greasy Sae if she stole Madge's pin (TacosOfEpicness)
290. Show Effie to the Doctor
- he'll yell at her "Whatever you are, leave the planet in peace! Please, you're scaring the children!" (TacosOfEpicness)
291. When Wiress says 'tick tock' start singing:
'Tick tock, goes the clock
Even for the Doctor
Tick, tock goes the clock
Now prison waits for River.' (TacosOfEpicness)
292. Make Peeta watch the movie. At random times ask him if that was real or not real (Ohsoclovely18)
293. Call Foxface "Foxface" to her fox-face
294. Bring a psychologist with you, give it a while and soon even the shrink will have resorted to Finnick's 'get your feelings out with rope' technique
295. Use a universe hopping device to steal characters from various fandoms to enter in one HUGE Hunger Games that lasts for decades
- Because that's what crossovers are for, duh!
A/N: Sorry for the wait everybody, thanks for the influx of reviews though! :D Computer being a bit odd, so tell me if I messed up on anything.
Special Thanks: blazinglizard09, TheMysteriousGeek2345, theGirlNightwing, Crystal Silvera, Othomasl2003, kk7, Emily, Cabin6Camper, Demetersdaughter, TacosOfEpicness, Ohsoclovely18, and Anonymous Guests. Thanks for Reviews coming from: Rachel Munroe, Russianleaf, goldden eyes, and Anonymous Guests. THANKS EVERYBODY!
P.S: Don't own Doctor Who, Percy Jackson, Dumb Ways to Die, Twilight (If this is getting too Twilight bash-y I have nothing against Twilight, it's just for humor purposes!), LOTR, Eragon, Sweeney Todd, Batman, Hawkeye, Green Arrow, Katy Perry, 'Die Young', or Tik Tok. Or other franchises I mentioned without adding here.
P.P.S: The Guest awhile back who asked about Peeta and green tights, if you're reading this, Google 'Peeta Pan,' click 'images' and enjoy :)
NOW REVIEW! OR FACE BUTTERCUP'S WRATH!