|Where the Healing Begins
Author: TheVoice1993 PM
After Andy Darden's death, Casey, Severide, Dawson, Shay and Allen all have their Demons that they need to face. Can these five friends get back on track like they use to be? Or will Andy dying tear them apart completely? Couples: Severide/ Allen(OC), Casey/ Hallie, Casey/Dawson, Shay/?Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 104,572 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 04-19-13 - Published: 11-11-12 - id: 8694607
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Go Bananas, Colbie Caillat, Gavin Degraw, Christina Perri or The Band Perry or any other Perry for that matter, lol, but anyway on with the story.
It was around 3 in the morning when I woke up noticing that I was in bed by myself. My door was cracked, and I could see the small amount of light coming from the living room. I get up bringing my blanket with me leaving my room, and quietly walk to the living room to find Kel sitting on the couch with headphones in his ears listening to my iPod. I sit down Indian style facing him and wrapping the blanket around me before reaching over to see what song he's listening to. It's Jar of Hearts and before that it was If I Die Young along with a bunch of other kind of depressing songs.
"Are you secretly depressed or something?" he asks looking at me and I shake my head "Because it seems like every song I listen to is either about someone dying or getting their heart broken."
"I just like the songs." I shrug and he nods going through the rest of them. It's quiet for about five minutes as I watch him. I can tell he's thinking, so I stay silent placing my head on his good shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. He flinches and I frown moving my arm. "Sorry"
"You're good" he says moving a little "I woke up in pain. Accidently slept on it." He takes the headphones out and sighs.
"I took some Ibuprofen." He says knowing what my question was "Couldn't go back to sleep though. It didn't really help." I place a kiss on his shoulder before looking at him again. It's quiet again for a minute before I give in.
"What's wrong babe?" he starts playing with my hand and sighs again.
"You know I've had a lot of time to think lately." He whispers
"Yeah? About what?" I ask gently rubbing his arm.
"I" he pauses for a little bit before taking a deep breath "What if I can't go back?" he says his voice cracking a little. He turns to me his eyes glistening a little. I look him in the eyes trying to blink away my tears thinking that I've cried more in the past few months than any other time in my life. He had never been this vulnerable before, ever. He was always the strong one, the one that was always there for mewhen I needed him. He's my best friend…the love of my life, and it was breaking my heart seeing him like this because now the tables have turned. He was the one that needed me.
"Listen to me" I say placing my hands on either side of his face "You're strong. I know that, and you know it too. And you've been doing so well in rehab. I know…I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're gonna be back to your old self sooner than you think, and then you'll come back to work and be able to boss me, Capp, Hadley, and the rest of Squad around because I know you're gonna get better" I place a kiss on his forehead before putting our heads together. "6 months"
"You know what the doctor said" he tells me and I shrug
"So what, it doesn't matter what they say. It's your body, and I know you can do it, so I'm saying that it's only gonna be 4 more months if that." We stare at each other for a while before a small smile appears on his face.
"How do you always know how to make me feel better?" he asks and I smile back
"The same way you do for me." I say before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I love you" we say in unison which causes us to laugh. He places a kiss on my neck before laying his head on my shoulder and I lay mine on top of his.
"There's a song I want you to hear that's not depressing." I tell him taking my phone off his lap.
"I don't think you're gonna find any on there." He says and I laugh shaking my head going through the songs.
"Shutup" I find the song I'm looking for "When I first heard this, it made me think of us and everything we've been through." I say before pressing play.
They all say it
All the ones that made it
Once you find the one you claim it
But you're gonna have to fight
When I think back
The things that threw us off track
We handled like a heart attack
Cause we didn't see the light
Oooh oooh, and now
We both know our own limitations
And that's why we're strong
Now that we've spent some time apart
We're leading each other out of the dark
Cause we both know
We sit there quietly as I let him listen to the rest of the song. It ends after a few minutes, and I'm quiet for a second waiting for him to say something.
"So…what do you think."
"This song is weirdly accurate for us." He says and I smile placing a kiss on the top of his head.
"I've kind of labeled it our song." I tell him
"Yeah" I say running my fingers through his hair.
"Does that me we have to dance to it?" he asks and I laugh
"No" I answer moving to lay down with him on top of me. He shifts his weight a little so he doesn't crush me.
"I have a question" he says looking at me.
"Okay" I say waiting for him to continue.
"Now remember it's just a question, and you know I think you're beautiful no matter what…"
"I know I've gained some weight" I say with a sigh. I had a feeling I knew what it was going to be anyway because I had noticed it myself. It wasn't a lot, just like five or so pounds, but you could kind of tell because it was mostly in my stomach. "I don't know why though. Nothing's changed. I exercise and stuff like usual and I haven't been eating differently or anything." I shrug "I guess my body just feels like doing its own thing."
"You're not mad at me are you?"
"Nah, you know me. I'm not that easily offended." I say rubbing his back.
"Well just so you know, I kinda like the little extra weight." He says kissing my stomach and I smile.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah" he tells me before letting out a yawn.
"Think you can go back to sleep now?"
"Yeah, as long as we can stay like this." He places a kiss in the crook of my neck before laying his head there and squeezing me a little.
"Aww my big baby. Tell you what, you can use me as a pillow in bed where we have more room." I tell him. He slowly gets up and I do the same before following him back to my room.
The next day, I was with Les and Gabby. We were watching Cayden and Sammy for Heather for the day so she could have some much needed time to herself. The boys wanted to go to Go Bananas which was where we were now.
"Well Cay looks like you beat me." I seeing how many tickets he had just won compared to me. We had just finished playing the basketball free throw game.
"Yeah for the third time…you kinda suck." He tells me with a smile on his face grabbing his tickets and I give him a shocked look.
"Hey! I do not suck." I smile grabbing my tickets and handing them to him "Here add those to your collection."
"Aunt De, don't lie to yourself. Mom says that's the worst thing anyone can do." He says as we walk over to where Gabby, Les and Sammy are.
"Yes, really" he says and I smile again.
"When did you get so smart?" I ask putting an arm around him.
"I've always been smart." He tells me and I ruffle his hair.
"True" I bend down giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"No! Aunt De, you can't do that in public! I'm not a baby. I'm almost ten." he says wiping his face and I laugh.
"Sorry, I forgot."
"No, you did that on purpose." He says pouting a little "You're so embarrassing." I shake my head as we get to the rest of our group.
"Auntie De look how many tickets me and Auntie Lesie just won." Sam says showing me all his tickets.
"Wow" I say bending down to his level "What are you gonna get?"
"I want the big prize." He says
"Well sweetie, you better get to playing some more games. A thousand tickets is a lot." I tell him.
"Okay, come on Cay. We've got work to do." Sam says grabbing his brother and heading to find a game. We follow behind them before finding a place to sit where we could see them.
"You good?" Shay asks Gabby and she nods.
"Yeah, my back hurts a little, but it'll stop if I sit down long enough." We watch the boys play, and they stay where we can see them coming to hand us tickets every once in a while. "Oh he's kicking again." Gabby says and we smile. "You guys wanna feel?" Shay and I both nod before she places our hands where the baby was kicking, and I can't help but smile.
"Aww, I can't wait to meet this little one." Les says and I nod in agreement.
"When are you gonna find out if it's a girl or boy?" I ask moving my hand.
"I have an appointment on Tuesday." She says excitedly and I nod moving my hand back to my lap.
"Guys can you tell I've gained weight?" I ask looking at them.
"Yeah, a little, but you're not fat." Shay tells me.
"Well Kel said he's noticed, and I've definitely noticed."
"You know Kelly will love you no matter what De." Gabby says.
"I know, he told me. That's not the point though."
"Then what's bothering you." Shay says and I start playing with my hands.
"Well, before he brought it up, I didn't really think anything of it, but then later I remembered that night on his birthday…"
"Please don't go into detail." Gabby says and I roll my eyes.
"I wasn't, but anyway like I was saying. We didn't use protection, and…I think I might be pregnant." I say looking back at them.
"Seriously?" Shay asks and I nod.
"Did you take a test?" Gabby asks glancing over to make sure the boys were where we could see them.
"No, not yet. I want you guys there with me."
"Okay well later we'll go get a test…or 6." Shay tells me and I nod again
"Get one from every brand." Gabby says and we look at her. "What…you wanna make sure don't you?"
"Just get four so we can go." Shay says. I grab some and we head to check out.
"Wait" I say turning to look at them "Who's house are we going to for this? We can't go to mine because Riley's there and if she finds out she'll tell Kelly."
"Well we can't go to mine, Matt's there." We look at Shay and she rolls her eyes.
"Let's hope Kelly isn't home." She says taking her phone out and calling him. "Hey are you at home?" she listens to him on the other end "How long you staying there?" I pay for the stuff and we leave walking out to the car. "No reason, just asking…Okay see you later then." She says before hanging up. "He's at his dad's house. Said he'd be there for a while."
"Okay good, your place it is the
"Okay this is the last one" I say taking a deep breath.
"What's the point? The last three have all said the same thing." Shay says
"Maybe I want to get my money's worth." I tell her before going back to her bathroom.
"How much damn water did you drink? You've been peeing like your vagina's a water fountain." She says and Gabby laughs.
"I obviously drank enough for four tests. Now shutup so I can concentrate."
"Since when do you have to concentrate to pee."
"Geez Leslie Elizabeth, what's with the attitude?" Gabby asks
"We already know the damn answer. I don't see the point for this one."
"Okay" I say washing my hands and coming back out to sit on the bed "Three minutes" I tell them. It's quiet for that time with Shay sighing dramatically. The timer on my phone goes off and I get up going to the bathroom to see the results.
"What's it say?" I hear Gabby ask. I don't say anything walking back to where they are showing it to them. "De…"
"Told you it'd be the same." Shay says and I sit down.
"Well it's official" I say sighing "I'm pregnant."