Author: JustAPenNameForMe PM
An alternate universe in which Christian is yearning for Ana. Because instead of trying to get Ana back when she walks out, at the end of FSOG, Christian lets his 50 shades and dark side take completely over.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Christian G. & Anastasia S. - Chapters: 38 - Words: 76,548 - Reviews: 570 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 391 - Updated: 04-16-13 - Published: 11-13-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8701871
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: The earliest that Paris can happen is chapter 32; we need CH30 and CH31 to address some loose ends in Seattle first... that means if I keep with the story line I have planned, I'll have this story wrapped up by the 40th chapter.
A/N: this chapter rating is *M*
~ evicting ghosts ~
Once Ana and Christian arrive at Flynn's office they are greeted by his receptionist "Welcome, please go right in, he is waiting for you both."
"John, this is my Anastasia" his voice proud.
Flynn smiles gently and shakes her hand "Welcome Anastasia."
"Thank you. Call me Ana please." She looks around the room; the office is a light green room with dark green chairs and sofas. There are bookshelves and books lining the far wall; Dr. Flynn has tried to remove the clinical feel that most Dr.'s offices have.
"Ana it is then," Dr. Flynn indicates a chair and couches clustered around a coffee table; if it had a tea set it would remind her of her grandmother's parlor. Ana sits in one of the couches and crosses her legs; Christian sits right next to her, his arm draped behind her. Flynn takes a winged chair nearby armed with a note pad and pen. Both men look relax, as if they have done this a million times before – and probably they have, she reminds herself.
- The woman is gorgeous, a little shy, a natural beauty. She exudes innocence. Interesting. 'Gorgeous and shy' Dr. Flynn writes.
"Ana. Christian requested you to be here tonight. I want to inform you that we run these sessions with absolute confidentiality."
"Yes, I understand." Ana actually pouts and closes her eyes and bites her lower lip. Christian reaches over and releases her lip - Fuck me she looks adorable; how I am going to last through this!
"Ana, you have to forgive me. Perhaps I know a lot more about you than you may think. Christian has been very candid," Flynn continues.
"I suspected as much." Ana shrugs.
- This was the worse fucking idea ever! Why in the world did I agree to this? Christian picks at non-existing lint on his trousers. Because you are a fucking idiot … that is why. The voice that sounds pretty much like Elena tells him. She'll run for sure, she is right there talking with Flynn the only person that can reveal to her how big a monster we really are.
"So Christian, what would you like to discuss today?" Dr. Flynn asks.
"It was Anastasia who wanted to see you today; maybe you should direct the question to her."
Dr. Flynn looks surprised "Ana?" he says looking directly at Ana expectantly.
"Um; there are several things I think I would like to … Um discuss." She looks at her hands.
"Ana, would you be more comfortable if Christian left us for a little while?"
- Wait, what the fucking hell is that! Christian's forehead wrinkles in disapproval but almost immediately, he puts up his mask; the face he uses when he does not want anyone to guess what he is thinking.
Ana looks at Christian, and for a second he thinks she is considering a 'yes.' "No, I am not sure how to start; that's all."
"O. K. what is your the foremost thought right now?" Christian impassive face pales immediately; he is about to say something when he notices Dr. Flynn's small gesture with his hand to not say anything.
"Can a sadist be cured?"
"What makes you ask that, Ana?" Flynn asks. If at all possible, Christian is even paler. Out of all the things he would have guessed, that was not in his radar.
"When we meet, and he showed me his playroom, I asked him if he was a sadist. He said no, that he is a dominant. I believed him; but then, just the other day, he confessed he is a sadist with an Oedipus complex."
"He said that." Christian closes his eyes; Dr. Flynn, looking straight at Ana, notices him with his peripheral vision.
"Not in those words, but that is the just of it."
"I disagree with Christian; he has learned techniques to deal with his issues, but no, I do not think he is a sadist; and I venture to say he can learn new techniques to cope with his issues." Christian swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down; but otherwise, he is impassive.
"And that is another thing. Those techniques he learned from that pedophile of his. He is friends with her still! He learned them when she used sex as a carrot to manipulate and dominate him. Now she still does it at an emotional level; and he allows it. He is so smart, I do not understand why."
- She is very smart and perceptive. 'Intelligent' Dr. Flynn writes on the next line.
Christian shifts uneasily at his seat. That intrigues Flynn, typically, when Elena is concerned, Christian refuses to talk about it and leaves the session.
"I happen to agree with you, Ana. The control and domination still goes on at emotional level."
"Now, c'mon" Christian complains, obviously uncomfortable.
"I cannot ask you to stop being her friend, but I do not want her in my life at all. I do not want to even have to think about her." Ana speaks directly to Christian.
"Christian, that is not an unreasonable request, is it?"
Christian shakes his head but does not answer; he is seething mad; he does not know at whom he is really mad at. He runs his hands up and down his thighs.
"And I am not sure how I feel about" Ana continues and she directs her eyes to Christian again "about you thinking of your mother when you, we... you know play and are intimate."
"I DO NOT do such thing!"
"Christian!" Dr. Flynn tries to get his attention.
"NO, I said I like brunettes because of her. Oh God did you think… did you… do you think… I-I have mommy issues, I do; I confess that. But I do not think of her while … I like to braid hair; I used to do that to her and it made me feel close; her air was brown, I thought it was beautiful. Braiding hair now helps me feel closer… I think that is why I like long brown hair… gosh!" Christian starts to pace around the room.
"Christian, sit down!" Dr. Flynn asks sternly while he looks at Ana - she is observant and patient. "One is attracted to people for different reasons -" Flynn continues as Christian sits down once again.
"- and I am afraid of what that means about me" Ana interrupts. Both men look at her expectantly. "A normal person would have left at those revelations. Yet, I stayed. A normal person would have left after seeing all those photos, yet I am still here. Every time I walk in that apartment I wonder about them. I know he was intimate with them. Yet I am in his bed as if nothing had happened there. Something must be wrong with me." She finishes, and for the first time she seems uncertain.
"None of them have ever been in my bed, Ana." Christian's voice is barely audible.
"On the red one they have and how about your bathtub, or breakfast nook, or the couch, or the piano or your office?" she asks.
Christian bites his cheek and does not provide an answer.
"I want to play; I want to have my way with you there. But my mind is on a continuous loop seeing the photos and I realize there is nothing new left for you, us to enjoy…" she trails off.
After a few minutes Dr. Flynn asks "What photos?"
"Subs, for insurance, in my playroom" Christian says with an ice cold voice, his face a mask "I wanted to tell you. Ask Leila if she put them in my closet. It is the only thing that makes sense; they are usually in my safe."
"Sure I will; we'll come back to that Christian." Christian nods; Flynn looks at Ana "What do you think all that means about you?"
"A normal person would have ripped them to shreds on the spot or cried and had a fit; most would have left. I got up and had tea! I am fucked up."
"Oh, Ana; no!" Christian's voice sounds broken, and sad; his face is as impassive as always though.
"I dated when Christian and I were apart. I wanted a regular relationship but at every step I thought of Christian."
Christian is now leaning on his elbows against his knees, his gaze towards Flynn unreadable.
Ana continues "I do not like being dominated and commanded but that is exactly" she turns red "in the bedroom I like that aspect with him, and only with him; only in the bedroom though. Not the heavy stuff," she explains.
Christian cannot help the smirk on his face.
~ 0 ~
Ana wakes up, she is missing Christian. She is asleep with only panties on and the duvet is not keeping her warm at all; it is very late Friday night, or very early Saturday morning, depending on one's the perspective. The curtains are pulled to the side and Seattle's skyline looks like spilled black ink.
The city lights blink below, casting enough light into the bedroom to see the furniture around as dark shadows scattered about. Ana puts on her silk robe and searches the apartment for Christian. She finally finds him in the playroom, seating on the bed, head hanging between his hands, which are resting on his knees.
"What are you doing?"
"I cannot sleep, Ana. I feel like shit." She cautiously enters the room and locks the door.
Instantly, her senses are in overload. The smell of wood, polish and leather hits her. The soundproof room is quiet; the only sound is that of her racing heart. She cannot hear Christian's but she can smell his scent, his body wash, complementary after shave, and that musky smell that is Christian Grey is even more prevalent in the windowless room.
The dark red, like red wine, is ever encompassing; it is on the walls and ceiling, even the bedding is red. There is enough light to see well, but it is not bright, it has a calming effect. That is in juxtaposition to the medieval furniture reminiscent of a torture chamber.
Ana sits next to him and caresses his upper arm "I am so very sorry; I should have asked you to leave the room. He is your therapist and -"
"No, it is fine."
"The whips and canes are gone!" She wonders out loud.
"Yes, when you left, I had a … sort of a break down and I shredded them to pieces and threw them away." He finally looks at her, she her eyes are roaming the room and she is biting her lip.
"Stop with the lip; I find it extremely erotic, and in this room I can barely hold it together. Come let's go to bed." He commands standing up; he is wearing his grey flannel pants; the ones that hang just right over his hips, his happy trail visible.
She smiles a shy little smile, and looks at him though her eyelashes. She stands up, lets her silk robe slink down her body into a silky pool around her feet. "Sir" she says in a whisper. Now, she is wearing only one of her black lacy panties; they are inside her cheeks, forming an arrow pointing towards her entrance.
"Ana, do not play games. Really let's go before I -" she drops to her knees by the door; her legs parted, her hands on her thighs, eyes cast low.
Christian kneels next to her "Please baby!"
"Master" is her answer. Christian swallows hard, walks behind her and braids her hair - Shit! She is so fucking hot. She is doing this for me. I shouldn't but how to say no, I have been dreaming of her here for months!
Once he is done braiding her hair, he has an idea. "Ms. Steele, today you said you wanted to have your way with me." He walks over and puts on some music; as Kings of Leon's "Sex of Fire" plays on a continuous loop, he orders "Stand up!"
She closes her eyes and complies expectantly for a new command. After a while of silence, she opens her eyes; she feels his gaze more than sees him. He has taken her spot but he is looking at her with play full eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"You said you wanted to have your way with me… now is your chance Ms. Steele"
"I promise you, no one has ever had this opportunity in this room before; another first, make the best of it" he is smiling his panty melting smile.
"No, I couldn't. I do not know what to do. I cannot hurt you!"
"It is more about pleasure than pain, Ms. Steele. Pick something to do, I'll guide you."
Ana stands there indecisive for a few minutes, she really doesn't know what to do but she is excited at the prospect. Christian is smiling at her. "Well, for starters how about you take off those," she points to his pants.
He smiles even wider, stands up and swiftly takes them off; his erection springing free. He goes back down to position.
Ana's breath catches; she has seen him naked before, but it gets her every time. "Commando again?" Ana chides and walks around to the dark mahogany dresser. She opens one drawer "Are these butt plugs?"
"Yes. Everything is new. I bought it all for you." Somehow he thinks it is important for her to know that.
She closes it and opens another "Dildos and vibrators?"
"What are the clamps for?" she inquires at the third drawer's contents.
"Genitals, nipples, but can be used anywhere else as well."
"Have you ever have stuff like these on your balls? And did you like it?"
"Yes, and I like it rough, Ana. Pain and pleasure go together."
"Can you stand up over there?" Christian walks over his erection rubbing against his belly button.
Ana swallows hard - he is an incredible beautiful specimen of a man "Hold on to those" She points to the chain and cuffs hanging off the ceiling.
"You are supposed to cuff me; the keys are on the top left drawer," he points with his chin while extending his arms up.
"You claim to have a lot of control, don't you?" He nods "then it should be easy for you to just hold on then," she chides. "I do not think restrains are needed, do you?"
"No, Miss." He says with amusement – that's definitely a first!
Ana takes a few steps away from him and admires his body from all angles. His muscles are well defined, his abs ripped, his perfect round butt has indentations on the sides as he stands. He is grinning, his eyes closed, and arms extended above his head holding on to the chains.
- Shit what do I do. He is expecting pain; a whip, a cane; but all I want is to touch him.
"Can I touch you?"
"You do not ask permission, Ana."
She inhales his scent, runs her hands around his ass, massages his hips. She bends down, her fingers start at his ankles and with synchronized movements she traces his muscles all ups his legs. His hair is a dark coppery color.
She teases his length; she uses the watery drops to massage his sack. She hears and feels his guttural moans. She brings her finger to her mouth "hummm good!"
Christian laughs and closes his eyes. At the sensation of her lips on his chest, he opens his eyes and almost releases the chains in his hands – she is kissing each and every scar; the pain is searing, he wants to run but it is so erotic that he is frozen on the spot.
"Is this O. K.?" she asks
"More" – I like pain.
Ana continues until she has kissed all his scars. Somewhere in between the fifth intense electric pain and her feather kisses, Christian's flight or fight reaction has given way to intoxicating pleasure – I have never been touched like this!
Ana looks up and Christian's eyes are hooded, almost black; the arm muscles are trembling.
- Maybe he is getting tired or maybe he has had enough of her little games. "Follow me" She says and pulls him by his dick towards the couch. "Lay down, please"
"You do not have to say please, Ana" but he does as asked. She straddels him on a 69 position.
"May I touch you, Ms.?"
"Oh, yes" and she takes him all into her mouth.
"May I cum, Ms.?"
"Umm, no I do not think so" – let's see all that control in play; and she continues to suck, and slurp and swivel her tongue all around him.
He bites her clit, trusts his fingers into her and makes her find release fast and hard; her walls pulsating setting their own rhythm. When she stands up, and looks back at him, his face is glistening with her juices and he looks amused and proud of himself. Pre-cum is oozing from him.
"To the spanking bench I think!" and he goes without saying a word. He takes the position with ease of a practiced move; almost like a dance; he moves very graciously; and that is the most exposed she has ever seen him.
- Oh now what do I do, what to do... She takes a crop and hits his buttocks and upper thighs several times. There is a pink crisscross pattern as the crop bites his skin. She realizes she rather be on the receiving end.
Christian is panting hard as if he has been running a marathon. She turns him around and his erection is actually bobbing of its own accord. There is a thin coat of sweat covering his whole body.
"Do you want to cum?"
"O. K. then" She holds him in her hands, and starts to straddle him with one of her legs over the bench; he grabs her hips and impales her; holding her. One arm wrapped around her back, the other holding her by her butt; his knees bended slightly to support both of their weights.
Now, her legs are wrapped around his hips as his entire body shakes with the electric release of his orgasms. His lower body cups around her, almost like the letter 'C,' thrusting up into her. When he is in his last thrust, she clenches and swivels her hips.
"Ohhhhh Christian" she screams.
"Arghhhhhh, baby. Ana. Mine."
~0~ TBC ~0~