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-Oleander-Tea-
Author of 10 Stories |
A/N: After leaving for a while, I came back and read this story and thought it totally sucked major butt. So, being the stubborn little Ryoga fan that I am, I decided to rewrite it. It’s actually not a rewrite, since this won’t really be the other story in different words. It’s not even going to be a reflection. It’s going to be different. I definitely hope that this one is better than the other because if it’s not, well, I think I’ll shoot myself. I never thought that my writing was this bad.
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all the characters involved belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Rumiko Takahashi only. The song is Everything You Want (extremely old, I know) by Vertical Horizon. Neither belongs to me.
Everything You Want
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
Ryoga Hibiki strolled down the sidewalk of a city somewhere on earth. He was pretty sure it wasn’t Japan though, as the people all looked somewhat more Hispanic than usual. Or maybe it was just the trick of the light- Ryoga could never tell. What would you expect from the eternally lost boy anyway? If he could tell different nationalities apart as easily as the rest of humanity (and perhaps even some animals), he would notice a change of scenes every time he left Japanese grounds and hopefully get back before winding up in Siberia without crossing waters. But we all know that’s not the only reason Ryoga is always lost. Truth is, Japanese gods hate him.
Not really, but they sure do enjoy having their fun on poor Ryoga’s behalf.
So as the said pig boy strolled down the sidewalk of a city somewhere in South or Central America, he window-shopped (or tent shopped). Maybe this is why he gets lost; he gets distracted easily. But let’s not get on that topic again- it’s getting old. In South or Central America, there were certainly very beautiful indigenous crafts of every kind imaginable, and one certain object caught Ryoga’s eye. Under a nondescript tent was a small, bright yellow pillow of in the shape of a duck. For every thread in the pillow, there must have been a hundred times in which Ryoga was in Akane’s room as P-chan. Though in Ryoga’s point of view there was nothing he could do about it now that he has allowed it to go on this long, a not-so-small part of his being still felt guilty. He had to buy it for her, Akane.
His Akane. Akane.
Akane.
Red.
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
Ryoga thought that Akane was the single most beautiful person in the world. He loved everything about her physically. He loved her dark, almost blue hair and the way he could snuggle into it as P-chan and feel safer than if he were in his own home. He loved her honey colored eyes and the way they always exposed her true emotions and sparked with life. He loved her pale skin displaying her purity of soul. He loved everything about her that nobody else could see also. He loved her anger, her clumsiness, her kindness, her blindness...
He loved her.
“Cuanto cuesta?” Ryoga asked the shopkeeper in Spanish, though he still thought he was speaking Japanese.
Opening his wallet, the probably magical boy found the pesos in exchange for the ducky throw pillow, keeping in mind to sew “AKANE” on it in English letters.
“Gracias, senor.”
Ryoga loved the way Akane would complain to him, as P-chan, about the mean things that Ranma had done that day.
He even loved the way her eyes always twinkled, like fresh champagne, whenever she mentioned a certain pigtailed martial artist.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Why couldn’t you love me?
This question was no stranger to Ryoga’s thoughts as it often dropped by for surprise visits. In all honesty, Ryoga wasn’t stupid. He had eyes and he had a functioning brain. Even through all her denial, he knew how much Akane was in love with Ranma. Ryoga knew. Akane loved Ranma just as much as Ryoga loved Akane, perhaps even more. It didn’t matter that Ryoga was the one who showered her with presents every chance he got. It didn’t matter that Ryoga was the one who would do everything he could to make her happy. It didn’t matter that Ryoga was the one who tried, hard as he could, to tell her how much he loved her. It didn’t matter that Ryoga was the one always there, just alongside Ranma, whenever Akane needed help.
Walking down the street, Ryoga didn’t notice the hot simmering heat disappear to a milder breeze. He didn’t notice the sidewalks and numerous people morph into a rocky mountainous terrain. He didn’t notice that the people around him were less crowded and looked more Asiatic. The boy just kept on walking blindly into the world, not knowing where he was, not knowing where he was headed.
After all, when it came down to Ryoga, it just didn’t matter.
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
Would Ranma ever tell Akane how much he loved her? Ryoga knew that he wasn’t the only one contemplating that question. Akane wondered, Shampoo wondered, Ukyo wondered, Mousse wondered, Konatsu wondered, Kuno wondered, Kodachi wondered, Nabiki and Kasumi wondered, Genma and Soun wondered, Dr. Tofu wondered, heck even Cologne probably wondered. However, Ryoga also knew that it was the wrong question to spend so much time and thought on. Everyone had their attention on Ranma, what he would do, what he would choose, everything about Ranma...
It shouldn’t be that way.
Ranma won’t even admit to himself, most of the time, that he was head over heels in love with his violent tomboy of a fiancé. And when Ranma finally matures enough to do so, his ego would never allow him to take the chance of rejection.
Ryoga scowled as he finally realized that he was no longer in Japan.
“Where in the world am I?” he sighed. Maybe he wasn’t in the world anymore. Maybe he had finally wandered off of the earth and into another solar system all together. Maybe he had figured out how to cross the lines of alternate universes. Maybe he found a way to the afterlife without having to die. Maybe he had been to this place before and had just forgotten.
Maybe.
Maybe Ranma will grow a backbone one of these days.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
If Akane were to love Ryoga instead of Ranma, would Ryoga’s life really be that much better? Ryoga’s first instinct was to say yes, of course. Of course his life would be better. He would finally have a something over Ranma, not just to dangle over his head like a piece of unobtainable bread or a trophy that half Nerima’s male population was fighting for, but if he had Akane...
Well, that’s where his train of thought ended.
If Ryoga had Akane, what did he have? The love of his life? (She was, after all, only his first love.) Unconditional love? (Didn’t Akari provide him with that though?) Someone whom could be depended on for the rest of his life? (Akane was already that someone.)
The air around Ryoga was thinning quickly. Perhaps it was the lack of oxygen to his brain, or maybe all the walking had him delusional, or it might have been that all the confusion from his life had finally crashed down on him, but Ryoga’s legs stopped moving suddenly and a single coherent thought dashed across the edges of his consciousness so fast he could barely take a hold of it and examine it properly.
If he had Akane, what would happen to Ranma?
But you'll just tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Akane would never tell Ranma she loved him; she didn’t have the self esteem to know how much she was worth to him. Ranma would never tell Akane he loved her; he didn’t have the faith to believe anybody saw anything in him except a freak and a fighting machine. Neither of the two main personalities involved will take the first step out into the new territory no matter how much beauty and riches it promised. Both knew better.
It was really too bad. They would have made the world’s most powerful power couple.
They were truly accidentally in love. Because they both knew the worst in each other (and themselves, for that matter), they had the best chances for long term survival, both as a form of life in the ever-evolving world and as one of hundreds of millions of couples in an ever-restless world. They were real, Ranma and Akane were.
And they had all the time in the world to wait.
Ryoga shook himself. ‘Maybe I’ll give them both a good push into that new territory once I get back to Nerima,’ he thought helplessly. Where was Nerima anyway? Tokyo, Honshu, Japan, Asia. Well, at least he was probably still on the same planet...
Closing his eyes, Ryoga started spinning. ‘I’ll head out whichever direction I open my eyes on.’
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
Did he stop loving Akane with his newfound wisdom? Of course not. Ryoga would always love Akane, simply because she was. For him, it was that basic. Long ago, he realized that no matter what happened between Akane and Ranma, between himself and Ranma, between Ranma and his countless other fiancés, between Akane and another one of her many admirers, or even between Akane and Ryoga himself, there was no way power person entity deity or curse that could make him stop. For the rest of eternity, Ryoga would love Akane.
It was Ranma that Akane depended on and needed. It was Ranma, just like it was always him. It was always him who won the wars and saved it world. It was always him who received the prize and got the gold. It was him that Akane had subconsciously given her heart. It was him that she had giver her future.
Yes, for the rest of eternity, Ryoga would love Akane as a friend and love her as his first love, but never as a lover.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know
Sometimes, love can’t be explained. Sometimes, love just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes love hurts more than hell’s worst wrath. Sometimes, love drives the most brilliant thinkers and philosophers to the edge of sanity. Sometimes, love is the downfall of the world’s greatest heroes. Sometimes...
But always, every time, for life, love is never fair.
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