Title: The Pilgrim Soul In You

Prompt:

Pairing/Characters: Nathan Wuornos/Audrey Parker, Duke Crocker, Jordan Mckee, Nathan Wuornos/Sarah Vernon

Rating: T (to be very, very safe)

Sneak Peak: Sarah isn't Audrey, but she's not not Audrey either, and that has his head pounding in a way that he didn't know it still could.

….

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

~ William Butler Yeats ~

….

1955

Haven, Maine

It takes four days - four days of more conversations than he can count and Duke's non-stop complaints.

Sarah's been in Haven a little over three and a half months and in four days they've discovered that her nursing savvy is legend, she's made more enemies than she warrants, and nearly every unattached man in Haven has asked her to dinner.

All he can think is that she's so much the same.

….

2010

Haven, Maine

"Officer Parker?" Stan's knuckles rap twice on the door as he ducks his head into Nathan's office, crossing directly into her line of sight. She blinks several times, in an attempt to focus on something other than what's happening 55 years ago, and rubs distractedly at her ear.

"Stan?" Judging from Stan's expression, she needs to work on that particular skill.

"Chief said to give you the information on Martin Bowles?"

Bowles – she's scrambling to match the name to a face, a police report, anything.

It takes her less time than she expected. She's up and around the desk in seconds.

"Is that it?" she shouldn't be so short. Stan's become a friend, but today she doesn't have the energy (or apparently the attention span) to process anything that isn't necessary.

"Yep, here you go Chief…uh…Audrey." Stan passes her a sheet of paper, blushes slightly at the verbal slip, and ducks back out of the room. Nathan's office. The office she's been manning, distractedly, for the last...

She glances at the clock again; two and a half hours can't be right.

She wonders, not for the first time, what she was thinking when she sent Nathan after Duke.

Except, she knows what she was thinking.

She was thinking that Duke needed help. She wasn't thinking about what that help would entail. And now they're both in 1955, and she's left to wait.

Wait and hope.

Two and a half hours and she's already starting to feel the anxiety close around her throat.

But she has something now; prays that this is the something she needs.

She pulls Nathan's cell out of her pocket and makes the call as she slips out the Department Doors.

"Jordan? We've got it. I'll meet you in ten."

…..

1955

Haven, Maine

She's so much the same, but there are differences; Audrey favors coffee, Sarah takes her Earl Grey with two sugars. Nathan's only seen Audrey in a dress once, hasn't seen Sarah in anything but.

Yet it's Audrey's intuition, Audrey's wry humor, and Audrey's spirit staring back at him from under red hair and a nurse's cap.

But Sarah's never pulled a gun on him. Sarah's never thrown a Christmas party mid-year.

Sarah isn't Audrey, but she's not not Audrey either, and that has his head pounding in a way that he didn't know it still could.

Four days.

And then he snags the back of his hand on a rosebush and leaves an intermittent trail of blood up her porch railing. Duke quips something about his cat-like reflexes, Sarah lets out a small "Oh", catches it up between both of hers.

Nathan freezes; he's even less prepared for this touch than Audrey's.

Sarah doesn't. She hits the deck hard and fast.

…..

2010

Haven, Maine

'Bowles Boutique' boasts a sign touting more than 100 years' experience in the Haven funeral floral business. She's banking on its accuracy. Tiny bells mark their entrance, but the man at the counter continues his careful arrangement without as much as a word of acknowledgement.

"Mr. Bowles? I'm Officer Parker, Haven PD, and this is Jordan McKee. We were wondering if we could have a few moments of your time?"

He's tall, thin, balding slightly on top, and finally he turns to face them. He turns and she's stopped closer than she thought, because the long-stemmed roses in his fist catch her hand as she holds out her badge.

'Hybrid Tea Rose.'

It's her last thought.

Her vision goes black immediately after.

…..

1955

Haven, Maine

Duke reacts first, making a move toward Sarah and stopping suddenly, kneeling quietly at her side. Nathan recovers in what seems more like minutes than milliseconds. His mind is parading phrases like head trauma and spinal damage and trying to calculate the odds of either or both - numbers and facts instead of emotion, because he can't process this.

He feels the need to touch her, so he settles his hand neutrally against her stomach. The movement of her breath physically lifting his hand, then arm, gently up and down is reassuring.

"It's ok…I mean…I think…I think I know what this is. Audrey's been having these…these blackouts. The Doc says they're like memory leaks. She should…she'll come to in a minute." Duke's voice sounds anxious and only half-reassuring; his hands are alternating between his hair and small motions of emphasis over Sarah's prone form. Nathan's running through memories of Audrey.

How the hell did he miss blackouts?

What else did he miss?

Sarah's eyes flutter once, twice.

"Nathan," Duke's voice should hold more relief, but all he hears is alarm. So he drags his gaze from Sarah. Duke's eyes are firmly fixed on where Nathan's hand rests below her rib cage.

How?

And his head is pounding.

"Nathan?"

The pull is so strong that he can almost hear his neck crack audibly. The way she says it…

There's a soft smile playing at her lips, a half quirk that's so very Audrey that he can't breathe. Now her eyes drop to his hand, and back up to take in his open mouth and close-set brows. Her look turns weighty.

"You're…," gravelly and deep, and he's not sure how to finish it.

So it hangs in the air for a moment.

"Pregnant." Duke finishes for him.

The evidence is there; it's hardly visible – wouldn't have been visible at all if his hand hadn't fallen along the gentle swell. She can't be more than four months, maybe less.

Four months.

"You don't know?" Now it's Audrey's confusion dressed in Sarah's clothes, and Nathan's having a hard time separating the two.

Doesn't know if there are two.

His head is pounding.

He rocks back on his heels to stand, absently reaching out for her hand.

Just regained consciousness.

He should be telling her to rest, take it slow.

Audrey's voice from Sarah's mouth.

And he can't wrap his mind around any of it, so he just reaches for her hand. She takes it on reflex. His nerves spring to life. Duke moves back as well, making room, and the three reclaim the spaces that they held moments ago.

"You don't know." It's a statement this time. She looks to Duke for confirmation, back at Nathan and down.

Down to where his left hand wraps around hers.

"Your ring…"

He can see her brain reeling and processing, as Sara/Audrey stares at his bare hand.

"Nathan, where's….?"

Her hands rotate the grasp, eyes for

Sarah/Audrey, and he can't see the edges anymore; they're blurring together.

And his head is pounding.

Then those eyes snap up and she reaches up to move his collar aside.

Her fingers wrap around the chain around his neck, sending a line of sensation down his clavicle, and pulling it free.

Three stones in a golden band.

And his head is pounding.

A/N: This fic is causing me middle-of-the-night brainstorm sessions and can't wait to flesh it all out. I WILL be explaining the apparent irregularity between Sarah's pregnancy and James Cogan's birth date, for those wondering.