Author: Rochelle Allison PM
Edward and Bella are neighbors, but they really can't stand one another. Snark and hi-jinks. Borderline crack-fic; if you don't have a (silly) sense of humor, move along. Once a WitFit.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,347 - Reviews: 2,504 - Favs: 823 - Follows: 878 - Updated: 11-29-12 - Published: 11-17-12 - id: 8710721
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
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Edward's tongue prying its way past my lips wrenched me from my shocked stupor.
Grabbing a fistful of his awesome auburn hair I pulled his head back. He panted down at me, his eyes glazed and half shut.
"What?" he slurred.
"What?" I echoed, looking at his mouth. Wait, what?
I shoved him off and reassumed my glare, noticing our friends in the back yard, straining to look inside through the screen. Ugh. If they weren't helping, they were hindering. Or maybe helping would be hindering.
Dammit! I couldn't think!
Edward's eyes were back on my boobs, then my mouth, then my boobs.
I couldn't deny, his gaze was hot and it was scorching me, making me feel rather randy.
He stepped closer again, pinning me against the wall, leaving just enough room to reach up slowly and hook his finger along the side of my bikini top.
I smacked him.
He kissed me, with tongue this time.
It had occurred to me, watching the She-Witch prance off in yet another fit of pissyness, that if she had as much fire in the bedroom as out of it then she might in fact be perfect for me.
So here we were, covered in condiments and making out.
But damn, Bella tasted nice. Even through the mayonnaise and beer. Yeah, she'd smacked my hand away but she hadn't fixed her top and now her naked breast was pressed against my wet tee shirt. I could feel her nipple.
I dragged my hands down her sides and grabbed her ass, making her jump a little and wrap her legs around me. Then I carried her out of the kitchen and down the hall.
"Ow! Watch it, idiot!" she cried, rubbing the back of her head.
"Maybe if you'd stop sucking my face off I'd be able to see where I was going."
She sneered at me and fixed her top. "Put me down."
Shrugging, I let go of her. She spun around and started running up the stairs so I followed of course. She turned the corner at the top and I could see her smiling so I caught up and threw her over my shoulder.
"As if you could out run me," I snickered.
She shrieked – I think she was a little annoyed, actually – and started punching and pinching me.
I turned into the first bedroom I saw.
Yep, this was definitely all her.
Manically organized. Color coordinated. Symmetrical.
I tossed her on to the bed and peeled my shirt off.
"I suppose this is the part where I swoon from how Adonis-like you are," I said dryly, sitting up on my elbows. "Let's not forget I've seen this before. Many times. All of it."
He made a face of exaggerated surprise. "That's right! In fact…" He walked over to my window and looked down.
Crap. That window faced into his backyard.
"You little pervert, you!" he sang gleefully. "Nah, whatever. I dig it," he said, and dropped trou so fast it took me a minute to register that I was staring at Captain Winkie itself.
"Rendered speechless. Finally," he said, yanking off my bottoms and shoving aside my top.
"Mustardy. But nice," he commented, licking the opposite nipple.
"You're really not my type," I groaned, trying not to melt from the amazingness that was Edward's mouth. He was much better at kissing than he was at talking.
He licked up to my neck and started kissing my mouth.
"Condom," I mumbled.
I pushed him away and got one out of the My Little Pony goody bag Rose had given out at her last birthday party.
He opened that sucker and had it on so fast I wondered if there was an Olympic Sport he could compete in.
I took a deep breath. "Just so you know – "
He grabbed my hips and plunged inside.
I guess she wasn't expecting it cuz she squeaked.
Couldn't… believe… how wet she was.
Man, I'd have to piss her off more often. In fact, come to think of it, she'd probably been wet for weeks. I moaned and pumped faster, getting off on the sounds she was making. She squeezed me with her legs and grabbed my hair, which hurt and spurred me on faster.
Her mouth was open.
Her tits jiggled hypnotizingly.
I think I loved this girl.
And then I came.
Edward shuddered above me and then flattened me.
"That's it?" I asked, disappointed.
He slipped out.
Well, shoot. He'd felt great…for all of two minutes.
At least he had the decency to blush.
What had we just done?
I started to sit up but he pushed me back down and stuck his face between my legs and oh-
Wondering if Bella knew how clearly sound carried through her house, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett switched to Edward's.