Author: confused-tomato PM
It's not an easy thing to do, trying to hide your most real and honest feelings from the one you care about so much. But when you've been doing it for so long, what do you have left? You obviously can't tell them the truth, can you? Mixed POVs. Slightly AU.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Diana M. & Faye C. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,350 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12-20-12 - Published: 11-17-12 - id: 8711358
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So, here's another chapter. I'm glad you seem to enjoy this story so far! :)
There's an old voice in my head,
that's holding me back.
Well, tell her that I miss our little talks.
Soon it will all be over, buried with our past.
We used to play outside when we were young
and full of life, and full of love.
"You do realize you haven't had a normal conversation with Diana for like months now, don't you?"
The five of them is sitting in the boathouse, sipping slowly on their coffees. It's one of those rare moments when they just meet up and spend some time together, talking about anything but magic. That's exactly what they need; to escape from all that craziness that's going on around them.
It's Adam who raises the question and Faye can feel Cassie tensing up by her side – the blonde obviously feels that this is an uncomfortable subject for Faye. She's right, but Faye being, well, Faye, she just puts a fake smile on her face and rolls her eyes at the boy.
"Yeah right, like that's my fault. She's just separating herself, I mean like have any of you talked to her recently about anything that's not magic-related?" she snorts and looks around the table.
"We had coffee yesterday", "Yeah, she invited us over on Wednesday", "She's organizing a party tomorrow" are definitely not the answers she is expecting to hear and it takes her off guard so much that she chokes on her coffee all of a sudden, causing the rest of the circle to get all caring and start patting her back and ask 'you fine, Faye?'.
"Of course I'm fine," she answers, raising her eyebrow at her friends sarcastically. "So it seems it's just me she's avoiding," she mutters, her walls down for a moment as she lets them see the real, caring side of her. "Well, whatever. It's not like we've been bffs or anything, right?" she snorts and just like that, her walls are back up and the rest of the circle knows there's no point in trying to talk to her about it.
It's not like Faye hasn't noticed Diana has been acting weird around her. It seems the brunette has been doing everything to avoid spending time with her, and the only time they talk is when the circle has their meetings in the abandoned house. She pretends not to care, because she's Faye and that's exactly what she's supposed to do, but she knows it doesn't work like that. Pretending you don't care doesn't equal not caring and Faye admits to herself that it's killing her inside to know that Diana is upset with her about something and she has absolutely no idea what it is. She's been playing along Diana's game for months now – as she realizes, from the time when Diana picked Faye up from a party and ended up acting all weird in her bedroom – but that's definitely enough. Since it turns out Faye is the only person Diana hasn't been talking to, if she has a problem with Faye, she has to tell that straight to her face and not just go behind her back, gossiping about it with their friends.
"I have to go," she stands up so abruptly that she causes her friends to start in surprise; Nick's arm falls from Melissa's shoulder and Cassie and Adam stop snuggling. "See you," she mumbles and leaves the bar, directing her steps towards one place she has been longing to visit for a really long time.
"Hi, Mr. Meade, is Diana home?" she asks, sporting her best "all parents love me" smile.
"Um, yes, yes, she is, come in," he says. "She's in her room, I believe you know the way," he smiles at her and walks away after Faye's definitely overjoyed "Sure, thank you!"
She doesn't even bother knocking, she just storms into Diana's room with a determined expression on her face and before even Diana turns around, she spits her "Could you please tell me what it is all about?"
"Faye," Diana's pupils get wide and – if it isn't just for the light, but Faye is pretty sure it isn't – her face goes slightly paler.
"Well, obviously," Faye snorts and can't help but roll her eyes at the shorter girl, who just looks at the ground. "You've been avoiding me for months, Meade, and don't try to deny it. You're clearly either upset with me, or in love with me. And if it's the latter, then I swear Di, you aren't fifteen anymore to believe that ignoring someone is the best way to show them your affection," she says in a desperate attempt to release the tension between them and smirks sarcastically, but it fades away as soon as she sees the horror on the other girl's face. "What? What is it?"
"Um, Faye, look, it is neither of those. It's just that it has been some really crazy weeks, with me finding out that I'm another Balcoin and all that dark magic, witch hunters, everything, I just really needed some time alone."
"Just from me?"
"You're acting childish, Faye. I obviously needed Cassie to help me get through it, and spending time with Cassie kinda means spending time with Adam. And Melissa and Nick, oh, you know, they're always just, well, around."
"I can't believe you still manage to make it look like it's my fault and I'm just overreacting."
"Jeez, Faye," Diana's voice becomes cold and indifferent. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, okay? It wasn't on purpose. I don't know, I suppose we have never really been spending much time together, just the two of us, we're no besties. That's why I'm so surprised you care so much."
"I don't care," Faye snorts, no longer vulnerable and confused. "It's just that the circle brought it up today, it seems to bother them, so I figured I'll just try to find out what it is about. Well now that I know, we can just go back to not talking," she says and opens the door, about to leave Diana's room.
"No, Faye, you're right," Diana's voice softens. "I mean, no matter what was going on, I shouldn't have separated myself from everything like that. It's my fault, I promise it won't happen again," she sounds sincere and Faye looks up at her.
"Well, not that I ca—"
"I know, you don't care. But we can come back to being normal around each other, I mean since you're clearly dying to spend more time with me," she smiles at the taller girl, who just rolls her eyes, but laughs.
"Fine. Let's start with that party tomorrow, am I invited?"
"Well, I see I have no choice now, so yes, you're invited," Diana teases and Faye just nudges her.
"Shut up, Meade," she responds, and leaves Diana's room, not letting the brunette see a smile that appears on her lips.
She isn't fooled by Diana's words for a second, but since that's obviously what the brunette wants her to believe, she just decides not to argue. She is sure sooner or later she will find out the truth and right now she's more than willing to just obey Diana's rules if that means they will finally be spending more time together.
Why the fuck do I even want to spend time with her all of a sudden for God's sake?
She kisses your lips eagerly, hungrily, her hands traveling all over your body, taking your top off in just one professional move. You don't waste your time either, continuing to unbutton her shirt as her kisses move to your neck and you just inhale sharply. She pauses for a moment to smirk and look down at you, but before she has a chance to say anything, your hand just grabs the back of her neck and pulls her back into a kiss. It isn't long until you are both naked, fighting to be on top – which eventually she wins. "We'll switch later," she whispers into your ear and starts placing soft kisses down your stomach. You can feel your muscles harden under her touch and you can't help a silent moan that escapes your lips as her tongue finally reaches—
"Diana? Diana, what are you thinking about? It's like you weren't even here," Diana starts, hearing Cassie's voice by her side and she looks around. For a moment she's still focused on her memory and it takes her a while to realize where she is. Right, of course, it's her own party. The whole house is shaking from the loud music. Her eyes wander around the room till she spots Faye talking to Jake in the corner and she can't help but bite her lip as she notices the brunette is laughing at his jokes.
"Di, I was just asking if—"
"I'm sorry," she cuts the blonde off. "I have to use the bathroom," she excuses herself and rushes upstairs, making sure she accidentally bumps into Jake on her way.
She locks the door behind her and slides her back against it till she sits down on the floor and hides her face in her hands.
You still can't believe "It never happened" is all you say afterwards. You can't even pluck up the courage to look at the still naked girl behind your back, so you just stare at the door as you let those words escape your mouth. And then you leave. Without taking her feelings into consideration, without a simple "bye", you just open the door and run away.
And she seems fine. The next day she's talking to you as if really nothing happened, but you can't help thinking what you should've said to her. You do realize it's too late and that she obviously doesn't want anything from you, but it doesn't stop your mind. Your nights are filled with regret ever since and there isn't a day that goes by without you feeling sick over how you reacted.
But you know that if you were given another chance, you would've done the exactly same thing as you did.
You would've ran away.
Because that's how fucking scared of your own feelings you are.
Song: "Little talks" by Of Monsters & Men