|Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - as Set in Detroit
Author: OrionXIII PM
A very brief re-imagining of the climactic final battle, had JK Rowling set Hogwarts in America - say Detroit - instead of England. Lord Voldemort is not quite prepared for the cultural differences...Rated: Fiction T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Harry P. & Voldemort - Words: 385 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11-18-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8715988
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
As Set in Detroit, MI
There are reasons that JK Rowling set Hogwarts in misty, peaceful England. Imagine, if you will, the climatic final confrontation between Harry and Lord Voldemort – which would have come quite a bit earlier had Harry been a Yank – had Hogwarts been set in Detroit...
Voldemort aimed his wand at Harry, the venom in his eyes giving them an evil twinkle. "At last, Harry Potter," he spat, "I shall destroy you."
Harry didn't even raise his wand. He simply smiled. This confidence in the face of imminent destruction was enough to give the Dark Lord pause - but only for a moment. He raised his wand and began to speak the unforgivable curse..."Ava..." and his head exploded. 800 yards behind Harry, Hermione worked the bolt on her Barrett .50 caliber rifle and shifted her point of aim to Lucius Malfoy, still stunned from the gory death of Voldemort, the report of the shot making a gory counterpoint to the wet sound his headless body made as it slowly collapsed.
Harry finally raised his wand hand - only this time instead of the phoenix-feather wand, he was holding a Kimber Ultra-Carry .45 pistol. He took careful aim at Bellatrix Lastrange and calmly shot her twice, center-mass as Ron, Ginny, George, Sirius, and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix stepped out of the shadows and began annihilating the Death Eaters with a variety of automatic weapons.
The slaughter continued for some time as the confused, leaderless Death Eaters attempted to find and counter the wizards raining down magical fire and muggle lead into their dwindling ranks. This wasn't going quite according to plan. Finally, the screams, shots, and gurgling noises died down as Hermione scanned the carnage through her optics. Pocketing the spent brass, she cleaned up her firing position and headed down to where Harry, Ron, and the rest waited for her.
The police would later put the deaths down to a cult-suicide pact and after a brief surge of interest in the Free Press, the entire incident would be forgotten except among a dedicated core of 'Magical Truthers', lead by Rosie O'Donnell.
It DOES make for a shorter story, I admit...So, perhaps she had good reason for putting it in England.