|Suddenly the Day Just Got Brighter
Author: Auua Ytjoml PM
"Please register your planet with the nearest planetary planning council. Thank you and have a horrible day." Death, doom and distraction are nice and all but some people prefer to live all their exciting, death defying, reality bending lives one day at a time. Others prefer being burnt to a cinder over something unexpected. But the Vogans are always unhappy so, really, who cares?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Words: 347 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-19-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8717799
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"We're going to be just fine Random."
Ford has made several observations on mankind and their need to say perfectly obvious things in times of great stress. You can find the complete list in you copy of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". To these observations Ford now added one more with great satisfaction. :Less naïve humans will lie to more naïve humans in times of great stress; presumably to keep the more naïve humans from panicking, but more likely to keep the less naïve ones from panicking:
"Thanks Dad. You don't have to lie to me. We're probably going to die."
Suddenly Time, Space, Probability, and the 35th dimension got together, did the Charleston, and deleted Earth from the memory of the Universe.
The Vogans looked up and found that a strange and previously undiscovered planet had mysteriously appeared in front of them. They called down "What do you call your planet?"
A few minutes later someone manages to rig up a communication device and calls back.
"It's called – what is it called? What was that? Oh! That's an idea! Our planet is called Di-hydrogen Monoxide."
A scuffle breaks out over the scratchy response system.
"No it's not!"
"It's called Water!"
"It's called Earth!"
"Now that's a stupid idea! The planet is mostly water!"
"How 'bout Aqua, boys?"
The head Vogan signs unhappily. "Citizens of the planet Aqua: Please register your planet with the nearest planetary planning council. Thank you and have a horrible day."
Meanwhile in a small café somewhere below a small collection of intergalactic hitchhikers look around at each other blankly.
"What just happened?"
A/N for those of you who are confused, this takes place at the end of the 5th book in the trilogy and gives us a rather happier ending than what seemed inevitable. That is all the clarifying that will be done here. Anything you still can't handle is now you're own problem (leaving questions in your review might be a good place to start).