Author: Maito Eleven PM
A galaxy that faces peril from a long impending extermination, finds itself host to mysterious aid/threat/salvation/doom, which only time may tell if they are there to save it... or plunge it into destruction.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Orks - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,311 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11-28-12 - Published: 11-22-12 - id: 8725957
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author Notes: First time I am writing a fanfiction, figured I'd go for a WH40k/Mass Effect crossover. And as far as it goes, not many people are writing Ork fikshuns over the interwebs... in crossovers for Mass Effect. So I'mma fix this by starting with THIS!
DA DETH DAKKA - KROOZER - Dat muckin' spehss of no fightin' - Fwooshy warp playss
Watchy Bridge Kommand Centuh
There was a bridge that overlooked what would be the kroozer's upper hull, if it could even be called a bridge, resembling nothing more than just a bunch of pieced up cobbled steel among many other makeshift materials, with so much more compromises at the outer hull, holes that thirsted for the sweet breathable air inside, and yet it drew not from within, staying outside despite all odds. At the center of such a bridge stood a fine Ork of a great top hat, rippled green muscles, and a height tall and bigger than any Orkish standards. His jaws strong as metal, because it IS made of metal. And yet what registered in the face of this Ork was poignant and dignified proise, an elegance that would rival any Eldar-
"WAT DA ZOG IS TAKIN' YA GITZ SO LONG?!" Kaptin Fisteef, dat Orky leaduh of dis Freebootaz said Orkishly, "WE SHUD BE LOOTIN' SUM PANZEE ELFDAR BY NOW!"
"It ain't workin' boss!" One of them Mekboys at the steering rudder, Gitmonger, said not-Orkishly, "Dem enjuns are not FAST enuff!"
"YOU GIT! You iz muckin' about! Did you paynt the enjuns red?!" He sighs, scratching his metallic jaws, "ZOG IT! JUS' TAKE US ANYWHERE, I'Z ITCHIN' FOR SOMETHIN' TA DO."
Now Fisteef was a smart Ork, he knows in his eternal wisdom, that there simply ain't enough Dakka all the time, ALL THE TIME, but even without enough Dakka, he must make do with the most Dakka he has at the moment, otherwise he simply won't get enough Dakka to get more Dakka. So logically, in his mind, he went for the best thing an Ork can do in these dire times, when WAAAUGH is short on supply.
"ALROIT DEN, DIS IS SIMPLE. I FINK I GOT DIS BOSS!" Tonkr the Nob says, "WHY DON'T WE JUS' KRUMP DEM CHAOS BOYZ IN DEM WAHP? DEYZ COME IN A LOT FOR WAAAUGH! FINK OF DA LOOT WE CAN HAS!"
Ah, now that's a fine Ork to have on board, now if only all Orkz thought the same as Tonkr, maybe THEN they could be having some fighting on their hands, as opposed to some inane prattle, leaving much unfixed in their very much so mucking about state as far as it fares. Fisteef cast a determined look at the rest of his crew, and gave as big an Orksmile as he could.
"A FINE PROPOZE... Proposhashu... IDEA. SOS LISTEN UP YA GITZ, DO WHAT MISTUH TONKR SAYS, CUZ WE NOW GO TO WAAAUGH!"
As if on queue, the entire KROOZER resonanted with one chorus, as if it was a melody of glass being shattered and grated against someone's face, coupled with acid poured down a brain, and fish applied to nostril passage with apt force.
The vast slab of metal that could hardly be a ship, yet merely is, jumped out of warp after much fluctuations. The engine gave out, and gave in with much wild ripples, shook with great force and exploded. Consuming much of the mekboys that tended carefully as an Ork can do in the engine room. The warp spontaneously went into overdrive, and the kroozer fluctuated between much realms, that of daemonic entities that gave a moment glance at the xenos ship from their existence, to the continuity of purple sleek ships clashing with blocky battleships in the face of a planet that burned from space-view, and finally, the rippling kroozer gave way and settled to a constancy apart what they seemed to have come across, unto the face of a world ripe for picking! Unmolested by...