Author: GraveDigger123 PM
What happens when Zer0 overhears Mister Torgue refer to the tournament as the ultimate challenge? An AWOL ninja, a shit ton of dead bodies, and all around general mayhem and hilarity that's what.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Zero & Guardian Angel - Words: 1,911 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 19 - Published: 11-22-12 - id: 8728064
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Thought of this when I saw the trailer for Mister Torgue's Campaign of Carnage, and thought it would be fun to write.
Also I know someone already wrote a story where Angel came back, but it's not like he/she was the only person to think of it. He/She was just the first to write about it, so in short I don't want to see anyone put 'Someone already brought Angel back' or 'You're such a loser, can't even think of your own story idea' or 'I'm a douche bag who likes to complain'… chances are no one will write that last one but it amounts to the same thing.
I don't own Borderlands 2; if I did I'd probably be too busy being rich to write this.
So on with the story, I guess.
It was a peaceful day at the Crimson Raiders HQ, or at least as peaceful as it could get on Pandora. Maya and Lilith were talking by the multiple washing machines, Salvador, Axton, and Mordecai were sitting at the counter; in the middle of what appeared to be a drinking contest, Gaige had Deathtrap out over by what used to be Roland's stash and was attempting to find the source of a ticking sound coming from him that only she could hear, and Zer0 was leaning against a wall by the stairs; possibly asleep, but with the mask making it impossible to know for sure. The relative calm seemed to shatter however when a video began casting over there ECHO-nets. Patricia Tannis probably the smartest, and most insane, person on Pandora appeared and began with no small amount of pride "Listen carefully, mouth-breathers of the world - this is Patricia Tannis, and I have found another Vault." Everyone made a face that was a mixture of shock and horror, with the exception being Zer0 who simply had an '!' appear on his faceplate. "As you may know, the opening of the first Vault five years ago triggered a chain reaction that revealed more Vaults on Pandora -"she continued but was abruptly cut off by another, much louder, and male voice yelling, "BOOOOOOOOORING!"
A brief bit of static appeared before a man with muscles that looked almost as big as Brick's appeared, almost. "You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT, AND PECS, AND EXPLOSIONS!" more than one person winced at the intensity and volume the new voice was talking in.
"Get off this ECHO frequency, you protein-guzzling buffoon. I'm trying to convey—"Tannis cut in briefly getting back on the 'screen'.
"THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!" It went back to the rather beefy man.
"As I was saying," Tannis began again obviously annoyed at having been interrupted. She quickly calmed down and continued "I've discovered that this new Vault is buried in the center of a large crater, and will only open, and I quote, 'Once the champion of Pandora feeds it the blood of the ultimate coward."
It switched back over to the man, "We at the Torgue Corporation sincerely believe that is F****** AWESOME! It's SO awesome that we're gonna set up a tournament to find this 'number one badass'! If you want in, come to where the Vault is buried – in the Badass Crater of Badassitude!" What appeared to be an 'appeared on Zero's helmet signifying a sweat drop.
"That's not what the area is called –"Tannis actually looked more desperate to finish than annoyed now.
"THE BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE!" Tannis sighed and hung her head in defeat. "Come on down if you think you can take on THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!" Everyone froze at this, knowing how a certain someone got about challenges, a certain someone being Zer0. When he didn't make any move they all visibly relaxed.
"Ah man, for a moment there we thought you were going to bolt buddy," Axton said walking up to pat the assassin on the shoulder only for his hand to pass through him. The hologram flickered once before dispersing; the sound of a light thud outside alerting everyone where the actual helmeted Vault Hunter was, the thud was quickly followed by footsteps that were quickly getting quieter.
"Damnit," Lilith sighed, "ANGEL!" Footsteps could be heard as the third siren in existence came down the stairs and stood before the older and more battle hardened women. They had found Angel a little while after the attack on the Bunker turned out she had entered herself into the New-U system and had acted like she was going o die so that Jack wouldn't hunt her down afterwards and after apologizing multiple times for her dishonesty they had decided to let her join the Crimson Raiders and stay in Sanctuary, mainly due to a mixture of guilt over killing her, understanding that Jack forced her to do what she did, and the fact the girl had little-to-no chance of surviving on this planet alone. She then did whatever she could to help fight Jack, such as hack into Hyperion to give them important info on their movements, change Hyperion troop deployments so they found themselves in the middle of nowhere or in a trap, and she was a surprisingly good cook; despite being in what had to be the world's most fancy cell for most of her life. She was also given and ECHO device so she could feed the Vault Hunters this information and tell them when Jack was going to send Loaders there way, in addition she was given a gun and taught how to shoot and survive on Pandora, thought she wasn't very good at the first one.
"Yes, Lilith?" she asked wondering what the older woman could need from her.
"There's a giant tournament being sponsored by Torgue because of a new Vault being found," Angel's eyes widen at this not knowing there was another Vault on Pandora, Just how many are there? "and Zer0 heard the announcer refer to it as the 'ultimate challenge', and ran off. I need you to go follow him and make sure he doesn't get carried away like last time." She said dejectedly, trying to think of some way of punishing the assassin for running off, the usual threat or chewing out didn't seem to work on him.
"'Carried away'?" Axton repeated. "He disappeared for five days and showed up in the middle of the night covered in blood, human flesh, and what used to be someone's lower intestine," he pointed out. Angel shuddered at the memory of the image; she had not gotten much sleep that night.
"Even I don't go that over board," Salvador said.
"He goes crazier than me with Anarchy on," Gaige said throwing in her two cents.
"Alright, alright we get it he's a very scary man when he loses it, now will you two stop, your scaring Angel," Mordecai interjected pointing to Angel, who looked even paler than usual and was about ready to pass out.
"Why do I have to watch him," Angel asked Lilith. "Can't you send someone more…"she gestured towards the other Vault Hunters, "Capable?"
"Because none of us have even a chance of holding him back short of putting a bullet in his head," Lilith explained putting a hand on the younger siren's shoulder to calm her down, it seemed to work as she returned to just being pale instead of nearly pure white.
"And I do?" Angel said still slightly worried and confused as to why Lilith would think she of all people could calm the assassin down when he was having one of his, what she liked to call, 'challenge moments'.
"You haven't noticed?" Lilith asked genuinely surprised.
"Noticed what?" Angel even more confused.
"He's got a soft spot for you," Mordecai explained.
"What?" Why would they think that?
"Yeah, haven't you ever noticed how when you need to leave Sanctuary to do something he's almost always there to escort you?" Mordecai explained. Now that I think about it he's right, Zer0's almost always the one who protect me when I leave.
"I thought that was because you told him to?" she reasoned
"Nope, half the time I can't even find him," Lilith admitted, "also it's him that pre-paid all your New-U respawns." She said grinning at her and giving her a strange look, but Angel, having basically grown up in a bubble, couldn't tell what it meant.
"He did?" Why would he do that?
"Yeah from what I've seen he put in enough to make you be able to die all the time if you wanted to," Mordecai stated before taking another drink from his rakk-ale.
"That reminds me; those New-U stations are Hyperion, why doesn't Jack just lock us out of the system?" Maya asked, the question having been bugging her for a while.
"Jack doesn't have control over the New-U stations, the stock-holders do, if he wants to lock someone out, like the old Vault Hunters, sorry by the way-" Angel explained.
"Its fine," Lilith replied.
"Not a big deal," Mordecai before downing the rest of his beer.
"He would have to get the board's approval, but before he could lock you guys out I hacked into it and made it so if they did a new account exactly like the old one would be made, essentially making it so no matter what they do you'll always be logged into the system," she finished taking a breath after the long explanation.
"Oh," Maya replied getting the gist of it.
"Alright then, now that twenty questions is over, Angel your job is to find Zer0 in the-"she looked at Mordecai.
"Badass Crater of Badassitude," he replied getting another beer.
"Right, the Badass Crater of Badassitude," she said sighing afterwards, but quickly perked back up and continued, "find Zer0, and make sure he doesn't go over board and murder everyone there."
"'Murder everyone there'?" Axton repeated. "Come on the guys good but he's not that good."
"Trust me he is." Angel said in a voice that showed she was completely serious, "I had to track each of you for Jack to see if you were well 'Vault Hunter material' and I saw him go through whole Bandit clans in a couple hours." Axton chuckled and couldn't help but gulp seeing that she wasn't joking.
"Right then off you go," Lilith stated pushing the young girl towards the door.
"Wait, how am I supposed to find him?" Angel asked as she was being pushed towards the large metal door.
"Easy just follow the bodies," she replied in a tone that was far too cheerful to go with that sentence. Angel was pushed out the door and tossed a rifle and a backpack full of ammo. "Good luck!"
"Bu-"she started but the door was swiftly closed, cutting her off. "Well this should be fun," she said dejectedly and began walking over to the Fast Travel station. She slung the backpack over her shoulder and clicked on the letters saying 'Badass Crater of Badassitude'. Have to ask how they get it into the list if you've never been there before.
I would like to state that this story is going to probably be OOC, but mainly because I'm trying to make it an all around funny story where almostnothingis taken as seriously as it would be in real life.
So I guess all that's left is to say Review? A 'well 'shrugs shoulders' I'm gonna go take a nap.