Author: Umi-chan3 PM
§Complete§ Umi's back on one of her regular visits and thinking about someone in a different light and someone is thinking about her. Will they both come clean? UmiAscot as a fair warningRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,259 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 08-01-02 - Published: 07-25-02 - Status: Complete - id: 873394
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
*I had to take out one line in this song too, one that was too depressing and didn't fit at all. It goes after; "A hot kachina who wants into mine" and the lyric is, "Take it with your terracide" Terracide for those who don't know is destroying the Earth (I think, if not that's just what my friend told me and I'm too lazy to go downstairs and get the dictionary at the moment in the sweltering 98 degrees), and let's face it neither would do that, and it just doesn't fit in this story because this one wasn't supposed to be depressing. I hope that this turned out okay for you*
Chapter Three Bliss
She didn't know what she had become, the eye of the storm maybe. She was calm to them but just beyond her mask a storm raged. They were aware that this wasn't the end; they knew one day the storm would be unleashed on them. And for that they feared her. She sat there in turmoil, not knowing quite what to do or how to belong. She couldn't even fit in to herself, how could she fit with him?
She sat in the sand as she tore herself up from the inside out.
Killed my monkey
She had given in, given into the temptation of loving such an illusive creature, and now she was suffering for it. She realized now, over time she had slowly fallen in love with him. Every move he made, everything he said she fell harder and faster. Like a skydiver she had plunged with nothing to stop her or break her fall.
She relished in the feeling, every smile or eye contact. She loved it when he seemingly appeared from nowhere to speak to her. She smiled then; he didn't do anything she didn't love. Wait, only one thing maybe; he hurt her.
I let it out
To taste the sweet of Spring
Was she losing hold? Was she slowly crumbling? How much more of this could she take? Her insides were ripped into a thousand pieces, and her heart had crumbled and rebuilt itself more times than she wanted to count or even think about.
Wonder if I will wander out
She closed her eyes, and a few tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered something when she first found these deeper feelings for the Summoner. She was sitting in the gardens; he was there with her, helping one of his friends. She touched his hand, he thought on accident, though she did it purposely. She pulled away, to try and see if she could do it. She looked at her trembling hands and wondered if she would ever be able to pull from him again.
It was hard, not being around him, but sometimes she thought it was harder to be around him. She wasn't sure what was harder on herself, and most of the time it didn't matter. He seemed to always be around when she didn't want him to, and never around when she did. But then when he was around she didn't want him to be, because she didn't want to have to deal with the pain. When he wasn't around she wanted him to be because she couldn't handle him not being there for her. It was extremely confusing and trying to work it out to herself was too hard to deal with at the moment.
She decided to be easy on herself for a bit and looked back into the sea.
Test my tether to
See if I'm still free
She heard a rustle in the brush behind her and spun.
He stepped back into the shadow.
She closed her eyes, he wasn't there, she was hallucinating again it seemed. But then, if he was there would she hurt? Would she have the courage to tell him here? At her safe spot, her haven? Or would she just turn away from him like she had done so many times before? Did the setting make a difference? Could she stand rejection?
He looked at her, and the pain that crossed her face. What was she thinking about? Why did she say his name? Thoughts crossed his mind, good and bad. Did she know? Was she okay with that? Did she feel it too? Was that anguish that lined her face when she saw he wasn't there, or was it because she felt him there?
He breathed deep, now or never, he told himself.
'How long have you been saying that for?' his mind mocked, and he glared at himself, 'I'm really going to do it this time.'
He clenched his fingers together and took another deep breath. He would have the courage to tell her; something deep inside him told him that today was the day. Here by the shore, on her territory he could expose himself and tell her, as long as she didn't play too hard, as long as she didn't laugh. She didn't look like she was in much of a laughing mood anyway.
Steady as it comes
He closed his eyes and took a step forward onto the beach. The sand fell under his shoes, and he looked down. She looked out to the water and didn't even hear the footsteps on the sandy beach.
Gorgeous blue hair, and eyes that could look straight into your soul. Could she see his soul? Could she feel what he wanted her to feel? His eyes fell down that perfect figure and for a moment he was still, trapped in timeless beauty. She was older than when he had last seen her, and the years had only done her good. She was beautiful before, but she was exquisite now.
"U-Umi…" he choked her name, and was surprised he found the courage to even do that.
She turned her head violently, "Ascot," her throat welled up as she forced tears to stay in only by biting the inside of her cheeks, "W-what are you doing here?"
"You ran off, the others were worried, I followed," he answered, and she smiled and wiped away her tears.
"Come sit," she offered, "Gomen nasai, I've been a mess lately."
He sat beside her and took a deep breath again, "No Umi, I'm sorry."
"What?" she whispered and turned to face him. God he was adorable; she smiled slightly.
"I-I I've been lying to you and lying to myself," he looked down as he spoke. Now that he had started he couldn't stop, "You saved me from Zagato, and I lied to you. You deserve more, you deserve better, but see…I…from the day I met you I thought you were gorgeous. I thought you were everything, a Goddess, and as the days and weeks passed I realized you were much more than that. Everything you do or say… Umi…I-I can't describe how you make me feel, how much you mean to me."
I've said it all
She smiled softly, sadly almost, "You mean a lot to me too Ascot."
Did she understand that he didn't want this to continue? This charade? He didn't want her to have to pretend with him anymore. If she didn't want to be friends then so be it, but this wasn't enough.
"Ascot you are probably my dearest friend," she said quietly, not wanting him to continue and ruin her hope, "And I love you a lot."
"I love you too," he whispered, but on a completely different level.
"As friends…" she looked down, and tears glimmered in her eyes, "That's what we've always been."
So maybe we're a Bliss
He pulled her chin up and looked deep into blazing blue sapphires, "Why do you cry? What are you hiding? You say that with such sadness. You do want to be friends right?"
Of another kind
She looked into panic ridden eyes and tried to discern what exactly that meant. What was he so afraid of? Why were all these questions unspoken?
Lately I'm into circuitry
Because of course, she reminded herself dryly, this is the only untouchable subject. You cannot talk about this to him because he'd laugh. He'd laugh and never speak to you again, or worse, laugh and keep trying to be friends.
And at the same instant he thought the same things when he looked into her eyes and saw only sadness and confusion.
They were so alike, feeling the same feelings, thinking the same thoughts, and yet they were not together. They couldn't be together because they each loved the other so much that they thought themselves unworthy when their hearts were both strong and worthy.
What it means to be
Made of you but not enough for you
She tried to force herself into those green depths. She didn't want to hurt herself anymore, but she needed answers. What did she see there? Through that panic and sadness? Was it love? Was it a fire? Did it need to be ignited, or was it already burning? She knew the only answer could come from him, but her questions remained unspoken.
And I wonder if
At that moment everything broke through both of them, and he felt her itching hands and her dying eyes. He looked into them and knew that he had to do something before she killed her emotions completely. At that moment he realized that he had wasted a lot of time, because it had always been him. He didn't feel that he could be wrong, and he didn't care if he was. He wanted the pain in those gorgeous blue eyes gone, if he could do something to help it he was going to.
Slowly he reached in and put a hand behind her neck. She shivered gently, and he smiled.
She smiled back, finally she could feel she was going to get what she wanted, what she desired more than anything in the world.
You can bilocate
He kissed her first on the cheek, but she turned her head so that he gently met her lips. He pulled back, a bit startled, but fell back into her kiss quickly, letting her turn it passionate and fiery. He pushed her down gently on the sand not being able to support her or himself and kissed her neck softly, then looked into her eyes that shown.
What I taste
"Wow," she whispered softly and pulled him back down. He welcomed the embrace and kissed her gently, then quickly. He felt her every breath and couldn't believe that she was this close to him. He thought that he would wake from the dream any minute, but his mind reminded him that not even dreams were this good.
Your supernova juice
She barely registered what happened, all she did was feel. It was the best feeling she had ever experienced. She fit into his arms as if she had been born to be there, and maybe she was. He ran his hands gently through her hair, and she laughed, delighted at the feeling. They weren't friends anymore, she mused to herself.
They were together…at long last. The pain and torture and anguish and hate, and self battery was over because they both wanted to be together, and they were good enough for one another, and it was all finally over.
You know it's true
I'm part of you
He pulled back and sat up once he realized the awkward position he found himself in. She sat up, and he turned and blushed, looking down. She smiled at him and touched his face. She laughed when she found that it was burning.
Steady as it comes
He moved slightly from her touch, but shyly not cruelly. This only made her laugh more. She jumped up and playfully ran into the waves. He watched for a minute and then joined in the fun. He chased her down the beach, and they laughed and screamed in the beautiful ocean water.
Right down to you
She fell onto the beach, panting and breathing hard.
He reached down and kissed her, taking away her last bit of breath.
"Stop stop stop," she begged and laughed, "I can't breathe as it is."
He grinned and looked down at her, lovingly. He couldn't think of anything to say; his eyes said everything for him. She reached up and kissed him gently.
I've said it all
It had taken so long for him to get the courage to admit to her his feelings, and now that he had he regretted being so slow about it. He couldn't dwell on what he hadn't done though, now he only thought that he had been strong enough to tell her, brave enough to except her challenge, and he had gotten a reward, her smile.
So maybe you're a 4 Horse engine
With a power drive
She grinned and rolled over, looking down at him as she leaned over his frame and kissed him quickly again and again, playfully, teasingly, not giving him a chance to get her. She reached down once, and he grabbed her wrists gently and pulled her into his chest, "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too."
That smile was enough for him; he could live off of only her smile and her touch, and now he had more, he had her.
A hot kachina who wants into mine
They walked their horses back to the picnic site, gentle kisses and a soft caress everywhere along the way.
As they walked from the forest they were met to cheers and whistles. Umi blushed deeply, and buried her head in his chest. For once he didn't blush, just held her close and smiled.
We're a Bliss
Of another kind
~Lyrics by Tori Amos
*NEVER AGAIN! I will never again to straight romance *shudders* romance is obviously not my thing. I just reread my other song fic and wow, I really should just stop trying to write romance now. No I should just try to work on it more often and not post stuff that isn't that good. Sorry about this if it was really bad. I guess I always judge my work harshly, but please tell me what you really thought of it. As soon as I get a good inspiring idea for another Umi/Ascot I'll be back and try to get better this time I promise. Until next time! ^.^*