|Life Moves On
Author: Qwertymann PM
"You're strong, Clem... you... you can do anything." "But... I'm little!" I said, desperation and sadness beginning to show through my voice. "Doesn't mean nothin'. You're going to see bad stuff... but... it's okay," I had to strain my ears to hear his weak voice at this point. Why am I not allowed to be little and grow up in a normal world, with you Lee as my best friend?Rated: Fiction T - English - Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,072 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12-15-12 - Published: 11-25-12 - id: 8736482
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Hey readers, I'm going to give you a warning before you read: this contains spoilers for The Walking Dead the game in episode 5. So I highly recommend you play the game/watch playthroughs so you understand what the characters have went through up to this point. I'm going to say I believe what I'm doing here is going to be a bit different from everyone else... and you'll understand immediately why.
"I did it... I got him," I panted, glancing down at the walker I just batted to death. I didn't cringe at his exposed brain as I heard Lee's voice bring me back. Lee...
"You can take care of yourself, see?" The weakness in his voice just hit me for the first time. How come I didn't notice it before? Was it because we were so busy?
"No, not all the time," I didn't fully trust myself.
"Yeah, you can... don't worry." Why was he always so caring? Just like my mom and dad. I carefully moved around the now motionless walker and picked up the gun and the keys. I turned to Lee... and knelt down to meet his level. I've been used to him kneeling down to meet my eye level for so long, and it was breaking my heart seeing him so weak.
"Hey," he lightly breathed out. I waited patiently for him to gather his strength to say what he had to. I would forever hold on to the words he tells me now. He met my gaze finally. "You're strong, Clem... you... you can do anything."
"But... I'm little!" I said, desperation and sadness beginning to show through my voice.
"Doesn't mean nothin'. You're going to see bad stuff... but... it's okay," I had to strain my ears to hear his weak voice at this point. Why am I not allowed to be little and grow up in a normal world, with you Lee as my best friend, with my parents still... I looked down and cried out quietly.
"But... my parents... it's so horrible," and I felt my eyes well up with water.
"I... can't imagine, sweet pea." But you could still be there for me, couldn't you? Couldn't you just...
"And now you? PLEASE... PLEASE don't be one of them. Please don't become a walker!" The sadness and desperation in my voice only grew. Was it really hopeless? Was there nothing I could do?
"There's only one thing you can do. You know that," I looked at him with my watery eyes. He couldn't mean... no. No, there's no way. He can't mean that. Please no. I don't want to. No. No. No! NO! I almost screamed.
"I don't know if I can."
"You have to shoot me honey." How did I know... I looked up to him.
"It's okay, it's okay." I wish I could believe that. "In Macon, the first days we met, do you remember?" Of course I do. I won't forget a day with you, Lee.
"Yeah, I do," I spoke sadly, nodding.
"When I went out to rescue that boy Glenn, we met a girl. She'd been bitten too, all she wanted was to... not come back as a walker..."
"Lee?" but he didn't listen and just continued, I watched him intently, listening.
"And I remember how hard it was to do that... but I'm glad I did. You don't want to see me like one of them." No, no of course not. I want you to be fine! But... if it's your dying wish...
"Okay, Lee... I can do it... I can..." but I still doubted myself. I thought saying it out loud would make the doubt go away. I closed my eyes to try and hold in the tears but his voice brought me back to him.
"Find Omid... and Christa... they're out of town by the train. Do you remember how to get back there?"
I gasped a large breath in as I replied. "Yes."
"Good," I closed my eyes and nodded, finally feeling like I couldn't hold it in anymore, and when I finally opened my eyes I couldn't help to stop the tears from falling out of them. I was crying, but he wasn't gone just yet.
"And Clem..." I looked up, stopping my sobbing.
"Keep that hair short," I'm sure if he could smile, he would. I'm sure if I could smile, I would.
"I will, I'll cut it myself," I spoke with finality.
"Good... and also..." I heard him take a deep breath, his head falling to the side, and his eyes slowly shutting. Was he gone? No. Lee. Lee?
"What, what is it?" His head slowly rose to my gaze again.
"No, it's okay. Alright." He paused for a moment before looking into my eyes, and with the most sincere voice I've heard him, he spoke quietly.
"I'll always love you, Clementine." At those words my heart tore in two, his condition hitting me harder than anything I've ever felt before. The love I have for this man was almost like how I loved my parents. At least, to him, I'll get to tell him, unlike my parents.
"I love you too, Lee." I cried, tears flowing from my eyes as I rose to my full height, my shaking hands slowly bringing the gun I held in my hands up to his head. It's what he wants. No, what he needs. I'm sure... I'm sure he... wants to be alive. I tried to steady my aim, in his voice I heard in my head a little to the right, good, keep it steady... BANG! The gun shot echoed throughout the building we were in, I dropped it and fell to my knees, crying hard. Crying for everything we had been together for the past few months. I rested my face on his shin and let my sobs soak his jeans. I stayed there, crying my eyes out for a couple minutes before I heard the startling sounds of the walkers outside again. The smell emanating from Lee's... corpse... was getting to me and I crinkled my nose, the stream of tears able to be controlled finally.
I rose to my feet, my back a little sore from the hunched position I was in. I looked at his face and cringed, I ruined it. I'm so sorry, Lee. I turned away and sniffled hard, picking up the gun I used to make sure he didn't come back as a walker, unable to look at him anymore in fear of breaking out in another fit of sobs, and walked into the room where the other walker was trapped. I absentmindedly searched the shelves, my insides feeling like they were rotting. Was I turning into one of them? No, that's crazy. I didn't get bit. Maybe... maybe it's the sadness, the depression that my mom used to have? I remember she'd tell me about it a long time ago and promised me I'd never have to feel like that. But I do now. I don't get it. I remember the days back in our house when the world was normal, I'd go to school every day – not that I liked it too much – but I like it better than what this is now. I like it better than feeling like I have nothing... but that isn't only a feeling, is it? I really did, and the tears started again. I sobbed but I kept searching what was on the shelves... food, water, medicine. The basics. I found a small backpack that looked like I could carry it around with me, and opened it. I gasped quietly as I opened it between sobs, there was a bunch of food and water in it! No wonder it was so heavy. Granola bars, water bottles, canned food and even a can opener. It would be enough to get me through a few days if I rationed it properly, like what Lilly used to do. I smiled a tiny bit despite the pure sadness I felt and zipped the pack up, tossing it on my shoulders. I wiped the blood that splattered onto my face off with the sleeve of the hoodie I had on – which I was glad for. Even if it wasn't mine, it had kept me warm on a lot of colder nights.
I looked to Lee one last time and frowned, engraving how he looked into my memory one final time – not that I'd ever forget him or how he looked... I just... I wanted to be sure. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Goodbye, Lee," I whispered silently to the room, opening the door and walking out to the filled street of walkers. My cheeks were still wet from all the crying and I wiped them off, trying my best to not cry as I slowly walked through the endless stream of them, thanking Lee for his smart idea. As gross as it is, it works.
After a while of walking I came to the edge of town, gasping quietly as I looked to where the train should be, but that too was completely overwhelmed with walkers. There was no sign of Omid and Christa and I couldn't just stay here. It would be crazy for them to try and get to me through all the walkers. What do I do? I don't like making decisions like this. I wish I could have Lee help me decide what to do. I looked around and saw no walkers in one particular direction, to my right, so I decided I'd go that way, out of the city, and just hope that they are there, somewhere, out there. And so I walked. And walked. And walked, until my feet ached and I was far away from city, in some kind of field of nothingness, so far that I couldn't hear the walkers crazed sounds anymore, so far away from them... and him... I sighed, pausing for a moment until I found a log up ahead. I decided I'd go and sit on it. I needed to rest. I was getting tired.
I looked to the ground and saw some red things. Oh, I've seen these before. They go in a shotgun. I picked one up, I don't think this can go in the one I have. No, that's a handgun, or a pistol, I think? Maybe both. But the thought of them being here in the first place saddenend me. There were no dead wlakers around so... but before I could finish my thought, I saw something move in the corner of my eye. It was a pair of people. I got up and looked at them. I opened my mouth as they walked, in the distance, but closed it. Is it Omid and Christa? What if it isn't? What if it's people that want to hurt me? But what choice do I have? It may be stupid, but I made the risk... I started slowly walking towards them as they noticed me and came in my direction.
Please, don't hurt me. I've had enough of that.
A/N: So I'd like to hear what you think on a first person perspective in Clementine's point of view. First person writing is difficult to write as nailing the character 100% requires a lot of effort. And if you think I dress up her inner vocabulary a bit too much please let me know, I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. Thank you for reading.
Oh, yeah, I had to make 'em tell they love each other there, just because I'm a big sap and think that's what should have been said. Kinda disappointed it wasn't, but the rest is true to the scene, as far as I can tell. Thanks again!