|Lord of the Phones
Author: Gigigue PM
Frodo inherits the one iPhone and goes on an epic quest to destroy it. Until all the readers realize that it's not so epic. In fact, it's downright stupid. Well, maybe not quite that far. Let's just say, insane, wacko, bizarre, weirdness. If you read, beware of mind-blowing oddity. And crazy parodies of life. That works. Yeah, now read it.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 81 - Words: 36,566 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 04-17-13 - Published: 11-25-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8736845
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Here come the replies.
Saren-Dipety: Your little stories are so hilarious! You're still going to be trapped in the elevator though for this scene. Sorry. I'm glad you liked Saruman!
Call Brandybuck: Well, actually, Sam does get kicked out in this next scene. The conversation wasn't over yet, so... Just read the scene. Nope, Shelob is not going to be Agnes, but it's going to be, um, interesting. Like most of this story.
The NCISElf: Yup, Gollum said he couldn't. Gollum's just weird that way. Saruman came on the loudspeaker because it's the standard routine at floor 397. He likes making periodic appearances to torture his passengers. The elevator music never changes. Never. Only when there are technical difficulties. Like in this scene. If you remember, Pippin is having helicopter rides with Artanis. He just does that over and over again until almost the end of the story.
(Back at the elevator, the conversation about the lembas bread continues.)
Sam: The question is, who took it... Gollum, you took it!
Gollum: Echh, we hates nasty elf bread. It makes us want to barf precious.
Frodo: He hates it, he didn't take it. You did.
Gollum: Yes precious, he took it. He's always stuffing his face when master's not looking. And look, crumbses on his jacketses. (brushes crumbs off Sam's cloak)
Sam: But, but, but, but, but, but, but, liar! (starts beating up Gollum)
Frodo: What the heck! (Frodo breaks up fight.) Okay guys, break it up. Sam, what are you doing?
Sam: Sorry, I, oh my gosh, I, well, I was just, like, really, really, angry, and, well, frustrated. (hyperventilating) Okay, let's just, take a break. (collapses on the ground)
(Elevator dings and the door opens.)
Frodo: Hey, just on time, floor 398. Now Sam, get the heck outta here!
Sam: But, but I, wait, I'm free from the elevator music! (walks out like a zombie.)
(Sam walks out and the doors close and the elevator continues going up. Sam finds another elevator across a room and goes in. Cool rock music is playing.)
Sam: Yes, thank you Saruman! Better music! Whoo! (starts dancing)
Saruman: We're sorry, our DJ was having some technical difficulties. Here's your favorite elevator music coming right up! (dumb music begins playing)
Sam: No! (doors close)
A/N: Ah, poor Sam. At least he doesn't have as far to go in the elevator as Frodo and Gollum do. Remember to review, take my poll, read my other story (if you haven't already), and, um, other stuff. (Wow, you guys have a lot to remember.)