|Oppan Hogwarts Style
Author: Akela Victoire PM
Anything Umbridge hates, Hogwarts loves. Including the latest Muggle hit song- Gangnam Style...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Dolores U. - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11-26-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8739936
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This was just some random plot bunny that came to mind while watching the Gangnam Style video. I sure do come up with some of the strangest ideas...
Anyway, I hope you can forgive the anachronism and enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: I owneth not Harry Potter or Gangnam Style.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy, sexy lady!"
That song was playing everywhere.
That ridiculous song was playing everywhere.
Where the hell did it come from?
Umbridge fumed as she neatly arranged her papers in her overly pink office and glanced at the cat pictures on the wall. She was probably as batty about cats as Mrs Figg was- not that she'd admit it…
Although come to think of it, maybe Miss Flopsy could do with a new fluffy pink tutu. Perhaps she could get one in Hogsmeade and send it to her housekeeper to…
She shook her head. No, not yet. She'd do it in celebration when she finally had Potter expelled and perhaps even in Azkaban with his criminal godfather. Fudge would be sure to promote her then!
But for now, she had to get rid of that infernal song. Seriously, where the hell did it come from?
Jillian Seondo, a 6th year pure-blood with South Korean ancestry had visited that country for the summer. While there, she had visited a large Muggle music store in Seoul and saw the music video for Gangnam Style by the Muggle singer Psy.
She fell in love with the song immediately.
In fact, she and her twin sister Joanna were showing the dance to their friends when the Weasley twins happened on their performance.
It all went downhill from there- for Umbridge that is.
The Weasley twins had taken an immediate liking to the dance and begged their fellow Gryffindor twins to teach them how to do it.
The Seondo twins grinned at each other during their deliberation and then turned to the Weasley twins to sort out a price for the dance lessons- free Weasley Wizard Wheezes products to piss Umbitch off.
Once the Weasley twins could do the dance well, they began teaching it to the other Gryffindors.
Who then taught it to their Ravenclaw friends and they passed it off to their Hufflepuff friends.
Even some of the Slytherins had taken a liking to it- not that they'd ever admit it…
When one of the Seondo twins' fellow 6th years, a Ravenclaw Muggle-born created a way to project his memory of the music video and created an audio version, the song itself became immensely popular within the school.
Once it became known that Umbridge hated the song, there was no stopping it.
Even when Umbridge passed Educational Decree Number… ah, what the hell- they lost count- banning the playing of that song, the DA used it as exercise music. The horse dance was not only good for getting in shape, but Harry would like to see the Death Eater who thought of dancing as a way to dodge spells…
Hermione had hated the song at first, having heard it played over and over again in the time she spent at home before going to Grimmauld Place that summer. Even her parents were doing the dance! Sure she liked a bit of foreign music now and then, but this was getting ridiculous!
But even though she didn't like the song, she had to admit- the dance was rather fun.
Even if one had to avoid a certain Ronald Weasley while he did it. Not only did he dance like a horse, he also ate like one, thus making the weight of his stepping on your foot even more painful to bear…
Umbridge sat eating her dinner, in a foul mood.
She had just been interrogating some students with Veritaserum and she had gotten no information that was of use to her.
She didn't find anything that could help incriminate Potter or his wretched blood-traitor godfather either.
She also failed to find out the source of that song that was in a language she couldn't understand. It obviously wasn't English- and it wasn't Toadish either…
Draco Malfoy and his cronies Crabbe and Goyle were sitting at the Slytherin table, also consuming their dinner in a similar mood.
A few of the… neutral Slytherins had just turned down his offer of membership in the Inquisitorial squad. The Greengrass sisters, Zabini…
And of course there was that dreaded song that they hated. 'Gang Yam Style' or some ridiculousness like that.
Umbridge had commanded the Inquisitorial Squad to find the source of the music and so far they had been unsuccessful.
She was getting more and more irritated every day that they didn't have success.
Luckily for them, they found out about Dumbledore's Army and that distracted her for a while, but they still had to worry about the song…
"You two are about to learn what happens to wrong-doers in my school." Umbridge snapped.
"You know what? I don't think we are. George, I think we've outgrown full-time education... Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?"
Ever since the Weasley twins left, chaos reigned supreme in the school.
Umbridge found out that even though they were still banned, Weasley Wizard Wheezes products were still immensely popular. Fireworks chased her all around the place, Umbridge-itis complaints due to the Skiving Snackboxes and Nosebleed Nougats were increasing, Dungbombs invaded her office…
The last straw came when she caught Lee Jordan and a few of his friends setting off a prank near the Great Hall.
Hours later after they came in from detention clutching their bleeding hands, they ranted.
"That bitch has got to go!" Alicia Spinnet took the bowl of Murtlap essence from Hermione and started to help treat their wounds.
"You said it! She gave me detention for setting off some Dungbombs in her office!" Someone called out.
"She deserves it!" Someone exclaimed.
"YEAH!" The Gryffindors exclaimed in unison.
"Well, I know some of you must be getting sick of this song by now, but…" Jillian stepped forward.
"I bet we all know someone who hates it more…" Joanna stepped next to her sister, beginning to grin.
The Gryffindors looked at one another in silence before grins started breaking out.
Lee stepped up, gesturing to Joanna and Jillian. "They've brought us the song and dance, but Fred and George made it popular among us. What's say we show Umbridge at dinner next week Friday exactly how popular they made it?" He smirked. "You guys catch my drift?"
"Uh-huh. Can I tell Padma about it? I'm sure the Ravenclaws might want to participate in the fun for once…" Parvati smiled.
"I have some friends in Hufflepuff that might be interested too!" Someone else called out.
"Okay then guys. You know what to do. Just don't let Umbitch or the Slytherins catch wind of it or we're all screwed…"
Umbridge was in a great mood that Friday evening.
It had been a whole week since any pranks had been played and since she heard that song.
From using Veritaserum on one of the Gryffindors two weeks ago, she'd found out that it came from some filthy Korean Muggle singer. Foreign music- and it hadn't even had the decency to be sung by a pure-blood singer like Celestina Warbeck…
She had just cut into her bangers and mash when suddenly, three-quarters of the hall stood up.
Several Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs arose from their seats, all with mischievous grins on their faces.
"Please don't let that be what I think it is…" She thought.
As one, they all rose their wands and waved them in a circle before pocketing them.
She blinked. "Huh?"
Then her nightmare came through.
As one, they started dancing as the music to Gangnam Style played.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy, sexy lady!"
"O-oo-o! Opppa Gangnam Style!"
She spotted Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson and Colin Creevey dancing at the Gryffindor table, Padma Patil, Anthony Goldstein and Luna Lovegood dancing at the Ravenclaw table with that poor girl Marietta next to them being forced to watch and Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchley doing the horse dance at the Hufflepuff table- among several others…
She wanted to tear her hair out and scream!
Wait- were those Slytherins bopping their heads to the music?
When the dancers finished, they took a bow and returned to their seats, eating peacefully as if they hadn't just taken part in a flash mob.
The rest of the school- including the teachers- sat still, stunned at what just happened before bursting into applause and cheers- except the Slytherins naturally…
"AUGH! NO!" Umbridge pulled at her hair and ran screaming from the hall.
Snickering and pulling her wand discretely, Jillian fired a jinx from her wand at the amphibian-resembling teacher.
She glowed in a white light for a few seconds and before she realised what was happening, Jillian's spell had made her body start doing the very same dance she hated.
The next day, Umbridge failed to show up for any meals or classes.
But since it was Umbitch, no one really cared and enjoyed their meals and free periods in peace without the toad woman hanging over them.