|The Time it Took Getting There
Author: iaimforthestars PM
Sometimes you meet someone and it feels like your whole life has been building up to that one moment. Everything makes sense, the timing feels perfect and it's just rather simple... And sometimes... It's not like that at all. When Naomi meets Emily, sadly, it's just one of those complicated times. AURated: Fiction T - English - Naomi C. & Emily F. - Chapters: 13 - Words: 101,773 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 02-08-13 - Published: 11-29-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8748231
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: So sometimes I'm busy and it takes me longer to write this story. And at other times I'm not really sure about what I've written at all. This chapter is a bit of both. I don't hate it mind and that's the most important thing right now. I'm not rushing to post though, be assured of that. It feels a bit choppy, but it's still where I wanted to go. Also, an important note would be to say that although I had planned on going with 4 chapters for each part, I don't see that happening here. It just can't with the development I want to bring. So there's going to be a fifth chapter to Part III, yay or nay?
Thanks for everyone who has reviewed, it means a lot to me! And since I completely forgot to warn you last chapter about rough subjects, I want to apologize! I know it went to a dark place and I should have warned you guys. So, fair warning in this chapter as well, some rough subjects are brought up, but not thoroughly discussed.
Chapter 3: Laugh with me
She doesn't talk to Emily for a whole week after their late night encounter by the vending machine. She doesn't talk to her, but she sees her. It's a bit funny how Naomi founds herself thinking that, if she's meant to see the other girl again she will and then it's all she sees. It's definitely comical that she spent 6 months in Bristol without seeing a trace of the brunette, yet now, she sees her every few days.
The first time she glimpses her is the very next morning. She's barely slept at all and she's feeling positively like death when she gets up to go to work. She stops by one of her favourite coffee shop on her way to work and, as she's rounding the corner of the street towards the place, she sees Emily exiting it. She's just in jeans and a brown jacket with a steaming cup in hands. Nothing special, but Naomi thinks she's radiant. The blonde doesn't have the time to catch up to her though before she disappears in the opposite direction, but it's okay. She's seen her. She'll see her again.
She does see her again 2 days later and this time it's at Tesco. Naomi goes to get some stuff for her mother one evening and when she's passing the vegetable aisle, she sees Emily a few meters away examining peppers. She's got one in her hand and seems to be smelling it. Naomi chuckles because it's nice sometimes to realise that some things don't change. She's about to go over and say hi when her cellphone rings. She answers quickly. After a fascinating argument over gluten with her mother, she finally hangs up and when she looks up at the end of the vegetable aisle, Emily is gone. She sighs in annoyment, but doesn't let it bother her too much. She'll see her again.
Another 3 days later, she sees her briefly while she's at the centre. It's very short and she isn't even sure it's her at first. But when the jogging woman comes closer and passes in front of the building, it's undeniable that it's her. Naomi thinks she looks really fucking great in her tight shorts and tight vest top and she most definitely stares for a while before she's reminded by amused kids that she was in the middle of saying something. She blushes hard as she gets teased by co-workers and kids alike about her moment of inattention.
"Sod off you lot" she tells them with a small smirk.
She's blushing and embarrassed and Emily totally made her look like a complete idiot without trying, but it's okay. The blonde really can't help loving it that she sees the other woman all the time now.
Naomi finally ends up talking to the brunette on an evening she's at the hospital visiting Lucy. She's been sat chatting with the teenage girl for about an hour when Lucy suddenly sends her on a quest to find some decent food to eat. And of course by "decent food", the black haired girl means any type of chocolate bar she can find or perhaps crisps. She accepts the quest willingly because she's just nice like that and also because she still remembers where to find vending machines.
She chokes out a laugh when she gets there and sees that so is Emily. The brunette turns around at the sound of laughter and her eyes soften immediately when she recognizes the blonde.
"Is this going to be our new thing?" Naomi asks pointing at the vending machines.
Emily chuckles and shrugs.
"Maybe… Still find it fitting?" The brunette questions.
"It's always fitting when it involves food and you" she shoots back with a smirk.
"You make me sound like some crazy food obsessed person" Emily grumbles.
"Well…" Naomi starts, smirk still firmly set on her lips. "All I'm saying is that if your metabolism wasn't so good, you'd definitely be obese"
"Charming" the other girl snorts with an eye roll.
They giggle together for a bit before Emily asks her:
"You here for Lucy then?"
Naomi considers saying that no, she's there for Emily, but she decides it's probably not a good idea. Besides, it's not exactly true. Although she did hope to see Emily, she is there for Lucy first and foremost.
"Yeah, she sent me on a food quest" she explains.
"Ah and that involves what tonight?" the brunette smirks. "Rolos? They seem to be a favourite of yours"
"Well... they do remind me of some good moments" the blonde shoots back with a twinkle in her eyes.
Emily blushes and Naomi is pretty pleased with herself. She doesn't know what the brunette expected from her, but if she expected Naomi to shy away from the implication, she sure got surprised. The blonde isn't that person anymore, she likes Emily, a lot, and she's been daft enough about it in the past. She's done with the denial. She still doesn't really know where she stands with Emily, but she wants to know, she wants the other girl to know as well. Nevertheless, she doesn't let any awkwardness settle and changes the subject quickly.
"But I was thinking something different tonight. Lucy is quite fond of Chomp for some reason..."
The brunette nods and turns to eye the machine.
"You're in luck" she says and points at the candy bar before letting Naomi walk closer.
It doesn't take 30 seconds before the blonde has paid for the candy and she turns to look at a big coffee machine right next to the one she's in front.
"D'you reckon I'd be welcomed with open arms and shrieks of glee if I brought her hot chocolate as well?" she asks Emily with a smile.
"I reckon you'd be hero of the hour" the petite confirms with a nod.
"Good. I quite like this hero business, don't want to do a poor job"
"No that would be awful, wouldn't it"
By the end of their little exchange, Naomi is quite sure she's just stalling for time. She doesn't know about Emily, but she certainly doesn't want the moment to end. As fun as it is to glimpse Emily everywhere around town, it's also nice to finally be able to just talk to her. So she stalls and she hopes it's not as obvious as she thinks it is.
To be honest, her heart hasn't stopped beating loudly in her ribcage since she's arrived and saw the brunette. It feels a bit like it's dancing along every word Emily says and reacts to everything she does. Like when Emily smiles, it flutters all the way to her throat and when Emily laughs it makes that one extra hard beat in her chest that feels like it's going to pop out. Naomi sighs softly to herself once she's come to that conclusion. She's got it bad for Emily, she really fucking does.
When the hot chocolates are poured though, there's little excuse left for Naomi to linger.
"So hum... I'll deliver my treasures then..." She says slowly. "Before it gets, you know... cold and all" She says slowly.
"Yeah, you better" Emily says quickly. "I've got to go too anyway, I just stopped for a snack, but I've got to get back on the road"
"Yeah sure..." Naomi says with a nod.
The brunette nods along and starts leaving.
"She's on the third floor, room 312!" Naomi splutters out suddenly.
"Pardon?" Emily asks her with a raised eyebrow.
"Lucy... She's in room 312... I just... I think she'd like to meet you if, well... If you were interested. You saved her life and all... I know she'd like to say thanks..."
"Oh... okay... well... I huh... Maybe I will" Emily confirms. "Are you... I mean... do you... visit regularly?" She finishes, a cute blush covering her cheeks.
"Yeah I do"
"Good... So well, maybe I'll see you there then, right?" she questions uncertainly.
"Sure! I mean, probably" Naomi responds.
"Alright... well, bye then?"
The brunette leaves for real this time, but when Naomi goes back to the room with the hot chocolates and candy bar in hands, she feels ridiculously chipper. This time, she'll most definitely see Emily again.
The next Tuesday turns out to be a big day for many reasons. The most important one though is that Lucy has a meeting with a doctor and a therapist on that day. Her wounds have scared by then, but the impact of what she did have not. Naomi knows the teenage girl is pretty anxious about the meeting though because it will determine whether or not she can go home. As much as the blonde knows Lucy wants to go home, she's afraid of what would happen if she did. Since she's been in the hospital, the girl has been better, cheerier than usual. Naomi is pretty sure it's due to her mum being around very often and no signs of a step-father. What she's not sure though is if the girl's mum will be as present once her daughter is back home. As much as she's learned to appreciate and like the teen's mother these past few days, Naomi isn't certain she'll be there as much as she needs to be.
She gets it, in a way. Lucy's mum is busy. She needs to work a lot to provide for her daughter and herself and life is expansive. Also, it doesn't help that the girl's mum refuses to appear poor so she works extra hard to maintain some sort of lifestyle. Sometimes Naomi wonders if it's not better to be a bit broke, but have a more present mother. In the end, she isn't sure which is more damaging, being poor or being alone.
The doctors ask to see her too. Naomi isn't all that surprised because she's been around the hospital enough for the staff to pick up on her closeness of the teen. So she meets with them and they ask her about Lucy. She tries to answer as best as she knows, but it isn't that easy. She's barely known the girl 6 months after all.
When she's finally allowed to visit the black haired girl, Naomi goes straight away. The first thing she notices is the redness of Lucy's eyes and the tears marks on her cheeks. She sits down anyway, but doesn't point it out.
"Alright?" She asks meekly though.
"Been better..." the teen responds not looking at Naomi.
"They're not letting you go home?" The blonde questions with the softest voice she can.
They both remain silent for a little while after that. Naomi doesn't want to push, but at the same time, she doesn't want Lucy to beat herself up over it.
"I know the hospital food is shit and everything..." She starts. "But the staff does sort of know what they're doing..."
"In a very annoying way" she adds after Lucy glares at her.
At that, a small smile cracks on the teen's lips, but it's very fleeting. Naomi's heart breaks a little that it is.
"Want to talk about why?" She asks.
Lucy hesitates for a long time. She bites at her bottom lip furiously in anxiousness, so much so that Naomi wonders when she'll draw blood.
"If you don't stop munching on that lip of yours, I reckon you'll have none left by the end of the day. Now don't get me wrong, I think you're pretty cute and everything, but I think you might find it harder to get a decent boyfriend with no bottom lip" She quips.
The blonde is rather pleased with herself when Lucy starts laughing genuinely. It doesn't last though and the laughter soon turns into tears. Naomi knows she's breaching a lot of the centre's rules when she decides to sit on the girl's bedside and brings her in her arms, but she doesn't give a flying fuck.
Lucy doesn't fight her off at all, she pretty much crumbles in the older woman's arms and Naomi lets her cry her heart out. She doesn't know how long it lasts, but she doesn't move, doesn't stop holding the teen steadily. If there's one thing that girl needs at the moment, Naomi reckons, it's stability. After a while though the tears subside and Lucy wipes them away with the sleeve of her pyjamas.
"Better?" Naomi inquires.
"Yeah... thanks..." the teen replies.
"Sure hun, anytime... So... d'you want to talk about the cause of those tears now?"
Lucy hesitates again a bit and sighs loudly.
"They found... like... after they fixed my wrists and all, they found like... other scars on my arms and well... everywhere really" the girl explains her voice trembling and her eyes full of tears again.
"Oh Luce..." Naomi mutters unable to stop herself.
She doesn't want to make the teenager feel worse, but this is so far from what she ever wanted for the girl.
"I'm sorry" Lucy apologizes thickly.
"Don't hun, you don't need to do that" Naomi says firmly. "I just... I just wish I'd known"
"No one knew" she says with a shrug.
"Does your mum know?" Naomi asks.
The teen shakes her head vigorously, tears silently falling on her cheeks again.
"But they're gonna tell her… They have to, yeah? I'm a minor…"
Naomi nods because she understands. She has the same kind of obligation at the centre. If she witnesses or has knowledge that one of the kids is in a life threatening situation, she has to notify the parents.
"Are they going to keep you long?" Naomi inquires.
"I don't think so… but they want to have me meet with like a therapist for a bit before they send me home" she explains.
"You know… These people can help sometimes" the blonde offers.
Lucy shrugs and looks at the ceiling. It's clear to Naomi that she's not ready to meet a therapist, let alone talk to them. She spent long enough to try and get to know the teenage girl, she can't imagine that an imposed therapist will get anywhere anytime soon.
The blonde refrains from adding anything else for a while. She doesn't want to be one of those grown-ups that nags you about what's right and what isn't. God knows that when people used to do that to her when she was a teenager she'd always wind up doing the exact opposite of what they said. So she doesn't do it to Lucy, it's not her job to do it anyway. But she's also not going anywhere and if by being there she can help the teenager stop hurting herself, then that'll be a bonus.
"Alright, enough with that okay? Since it turns out we're hanging out here for a while longer, I suggest we find something fun to do in this joint. Reckon that's possible?" the blonde exclaims.
"No" Lucy answers instantly. "But we can try" she finishes with a smirk.
Tuesday is a big day, because it's also the day Emily decides to pay Lucy a visit. It's entirely embarrassing that she decides to show up after Naomi ingeniously managed to bring in a Nintendo 64 and when the blonde and the teen are engrossed in a very competitive game of Mario Party.
"Come on you bloody Bowser balloon!" Naomi grunts. "Will you freaking burst!"
She shouts out in exasperation a second later when it's Lucy's character that bursts, making her win the stupid mini-game.
"I swear this thing is rigged!" the blonde whines, throwing her controller on the floor.
"You're such a sore loser!" Lucy laughs.
"I am not! I bet my controller is broken or something"
"If you stopped throwing it in frustration maybe it would work better!" the teen teases.
"I'm not throwing it…"
"Course you're not… Anyway, you really suck at this game!"
"Oi! This is no way to talk to an authority figure!" Naomi cries out self-righteously.
"Authority figure? You're so full of shit!"
Naomi is about to reply when Emily cuts in.
"Always has been too" she says amused.
Both girls in the room shoot their head towards the door so fast it hurts. It's with a mortified expression that Naomi takes in the entirety of Emily causally leaning in the doorway. She's not in uniform so the blonde reckons she's off work. Instead, she's wearing dark jeans with a long sleeved black shirt and an aqua scarf around her neck. Her hair is down and she's got light make-up on. Honestly, Naomi is certain that if she wasn't already aware of how much she fancies the other girl, she'd figure it out right this moment, because Emily is a fucking sight for sore eyes. She looks lovely in all the right ways and the blonde just can't stop herself from perving on her.
"Huh… and you are?" Lucy says, breaking Naomi's thorough eye-fucking.
She snaps herself back to reality and feels her cheeks and neck heat up.
"Oh! This is Emily!" She provides happily. "She's the paramedic that helped you out when… well you know. She also happens to be an old… hum… friend of mine?" she finishes with an unsure look to the brunette.
She's not sure if she's got the right to call Emily a friend anymore, but she doesn't want to call her an acquaintance either. Acquaintance feels too small, too cheap for what the other girl means to her. The brunette gives her a small nod and Naomi breathes a sigh of relief.
"Oh…" Lucy says slowly.
"And you're Lucy right?" Emily says smoothly walking into the room.
"I'm glad to finally meet you up and about" the brunette says with a smile that is just so genuine and bright that Naomi just cannot help but stare at it.
Of course, it's entirely impossible not to be fond of Emily, so Lucy gives her a polite smile in return, but her eyes shine a bit and Naomi knows she's mentally approved of the small paramedic.
"D'you want to play Nintendo?" she asks suddenly. "Naomi is utter rubbish at it"
"Am not!" The blonde cries out petulantly as Emily giggles.
"I'd love to, but be warned, I have a little brother and I am well trained in the Mario ways"
"Bring it on!" Lucy shouts excitedly at the challenge.
They both ignore her indignant face and Naomi doesn't even mind. She kind of loves that Lucy seems to like Emily. Because she really cares about Lucy and she fancies Emily to bits, so it's pretty great if they get along.
Emily ends up staying for about an hour and a half. After a few minutes, Naomi goes to find an extra controller and they all play together. It's decided, by the end of that hour and a half, that the blonde is the lousiest player there is. Lucy and Emily bond horribly over stealing her stars and making fun of her and Naomi would be properly insulted and outraged if she didn't secretly find it hilarious.
After the hour and a half though, the petite has to go and Naomi isn't sure who's more disappointed between Lucy and her although they both try to be cool about it and not let it show.
"It was a pleasure meeting you Lucy" The petite says before leaving.
The teen nods and Naomi is walking Emily to the door when she shouts after them.
"Emily!" she exclaims and both women turn around. "Thanks for… you know… saving my life" she mumbles.
The brunette gives her a broad smile.
"Of course, I was just doing my job… Although I'm really glad we didn't lose you" she says.
Naomi is pretty sure Lucy is near tears again so she just ushers Emily out of the room to let her be for a minute. There's a bit of tension though when the two women stop in the hallway and look at each other.
"Thanks for the visit" Naomi says awkwardly. "Lucy loved you"
"I'm glad I came, she's lovely" Emily confirms.
They stare at each other in silence for a minute before Emily decides to speak up again.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure" the blonde replies without losing a beat.
"Has Lucy been through the discharge review?"
"Yeah, it was this morning, they decided to keep her for a bit..." Naomi explains.
She doesn't want to say too much, doesn't feel like it's her place to tell Emily why the teenage girl isn't being discharged, but she hates it. She feels like she's hiding something from the brunette and she doesn't particularly enjoy doing that.
"Do you know why?" Emily asks.
The blonde nods slowly, avoiding eye contact with the brunette. She's already dreading the next question because she's sure the other girl will ask her for the reasons of Lucy's refused discharge and she doesn't want to lie about it, yet she can't say the truth either. It's just not her place.
"It's about her scars isn't it?" Emily says next though, completely taking the blonde by surprise.
"You know about them?"
"Of course... I treated her in the ambulance, right? They were pretty hard to miss"
The petite makes a sad face and Naomi can tell she doesn't enjoy this bit of Lucy's life more than she herself does.
"Do you..." Emily starts saying uncertain. She licks her lips slowly and bites on her bottom lip before continuing. "I know that the hospital's protocol on the matter is that they'll arrange for her to meet a therapist and I know that, in most cases, the patients aren't exactly receptive to the idea... Especially at that age... Do you know how Lucy feels about that?"
"You've said it. She's not exactly receptive... I doubt she'll tell that therapist anything" Naomi admits with a sigh and sadness.
Emily nods understandingly as always.
"Do you think she'd be receptive to meeting someone else though? Someone who's not a therapist, but someone she can talk to about this?" the brunette questions.
Naomi frowns a little, but considers the other girl's words. She's not sure if she knows what Emily means by that, but it doesn't really matter. She thinks about the teen and about what she knows of her before replying.
"Depending on the person... I think she might" Naomi finally says. "Do you have anyone in mind?"
"Yes actually... you remember my best friend Effy right?"
"Of course" the blonde scoffs.
"Right, I forgot she broke Freddie's heart..."
"She most definitely did"
"I'm sorry about that..." Emily says feeling awkward.
"It's okay Ems, for one it's not your fault so don't apologize and also, she was a cunt, that's a given, but we all are sometimes" Naomi says with a smirk remembering the elusive brunette saying exactly that about her so many years ago.
Emily seems a bit surprised that the blonde is smirking, but she doesn't comment on it. Instead, she continues to speak.
"Okay, well, Lucy sort of reminds me of Effy when she was a teenager... Eff had a rough time back then and pulled off a very similar suicide attempt" the brunette explains.
"Shit..." Naomi mumbles. "I had no idea"
"Why would you? Anyway, I think if I told Effy about Lucy,... well I think she'd be up for talking to her, help her perhaps? I mean I know Effy isn't the most talkative person there is, but her words also have a lot of impact. The thing is though I don't want to talk to Effy if you don't think it could help... I know you care a great deal about Lucy and you know her best really so I just-"
"Ems!" Naomi stops her with a fond smile on her lips. "Stop, please. I think it's actually a wonderful idea. I know how Effy is and I think... I think Lucy would appreciate meeting someone like that and I do think it could be really good for her... So just... yeah, tell Effy, see if she's up for it"
Emily smiles broadly too and nods.
"Okay?" The blonde repeats.
They stare again because it seems to be all they do lately. To be honest though, Naomi doesn't want to say anything because she's afraid that if she opens her mouth, she'll blurt out how truly fantastic she thinks Emily is. Because, for fuck's sake she just really is. If the blonde liked the idea that Emily appreciated Lucy it's nothing to how she feels now that she sees that Emily actually cares enough about this one teenage girl she just met to seek out Effy to help. Naomi can't get enough of the other girl's big open heart. She can't get enough of her kindness and generosity. She doesn't think it's possible to get enough of it. Also, she doesn't think she's ever met someone so fucking pure in her life, she doesn't think that exists.
"I've got to go…" Emily mutters.
Naomi nods, her lips sealed tight. She feels so much affection for the brunette right now that she has to. The brunette gives her a final nod and leaves and when she's out of sight, lets out a shaky breath. She closes her eyes and tries to calm her alarmingly fast beating hard. She's so entirely smitten and so freaking screwed.
After Emily has left, Naomi goes back to Lucy's room. They don't start a new game of Nintendo, because the blonde doesn't think she could concentrate on it and because the teen is tired of video games. Instead, they sort of fall in a comfortable silence as the black haired girl starts reading a magazine and Naomi just stares in space and thinks of Emily.
She thinks of her smile and how it brightened her day and she thinks of her laugh as she diligently made fun of her. She thinks of her sparkling eyes full of care when she discussed Lucy with her and it's all a bit overwhelming.
And then, of fucking course, her brain brings her to a totally different place where her imagination mixes with her memories and it's just very very distracting. She thinks about the brunette's body because it's inevitable. She thinks of those legs in those tights jeans and of the curve of her hips. She's not sure if she remembers brushing her fingers there, following the curve with eagerness or if it's just her imagination that gives her such a vivid image of it. Either way, it makes her feel hot. She thinks of Emily's taught stomach and can imagine herself tracing patterns on it all the way to the curve of the brunette's breast. And god, Naomi feels like a bloody freaking sex starved maniac when she just about salivates at the idea of feeling Emily's nipples against her palm.
She's gone very far into her fantasies when Lucy snaps her out of it rather loudly.
"OI! Naomi!" she yells. "Are you listening?"
"Huh… pardon?" the blonde says, feeling herself blush furiously.
Of course there's no way for the teen to know where her brain just was, but it's still embarrassing.
"What's up with you?" Lucy says curiously. "You've been totally distracted ever since…"
The black haired girl stops talking immediately and her eyes widen. Then, a sly grin crosses her lips and Naomi feels herself squirm. She can't possibly have…
"You have a thing for Emily!" the teen announces happily.
"I huh… of course not, that's just… ludicrous" Naomi defends, feeling herself blush brighter and frown.
She knows she made a poor job of denying it though when the teenage girl starts laughing loudly.
"Oh my god, you so have! That's brilliant!"
The blonde's eyes narrow and she ponders denying it further, but when Lucy starts giggling enthusiastically and claims that they'd be the "cutest couple ever" she feels her resolve crumble.
"Okay shove it worm" she snaps teasingly.
"This is so precious though!"
"It isn't…" Naomi grumbles.
"Oh, but it is! Is she into girls as well? Have you asked her out?" Lucy starts asking quickly.
"Jesus!" Naomi exclaims shaking her head. "We're not discussing this"
"Oh Naomi please! I've been stuck here for ages!"
"And discussing my love life, or lack-thereof, matters because…?"
"Because nothing ever goes on here! So I take it you haven't asked her out yet then?"
"No… I can't believe I'm discussing this with a 16 year-old. I mean every time I think I can't get more pathetic, stuff like that happens" Naomi whines.
"Now you're just being rude!" Lucy tells her with a glare.
The teenage girl continues to glare at her so Naomi lets out a long sigh and brings a hand to her hair. She doesn't particularly want to go into details about her and Emily- especially not with a kid- but she guesses she needs to indulge the young girl at least a bit. She knows, in any case, that Lucy won't let it go even if she doesn't. And honestly, Naomi can't blame anyone, but herself if the teen figure dit out. It's her fault she was so obvious.
"Okay okay, stop glaring… we can… well not discuss it per se, but… whatever" She announces.
Lucy gives her such a self-satisfied smirk that Naomi considers changing her mind. But of course, being quite fond of the teen and all, she doesn't.
"So, is she into girls?!" Lucy asks.
"Yeah, she is"
"Wicked! When are you asking her out then?"
"I huh…" Naomi stammers.
Truth is, she doesn't know. She doesn't know if she'll ask Emily out let alone when. Of course she wants to believe it's their time, of course she wants to believe they can be more than friends this time around, but she's not entirely sure it can happen. The attraction is still there though, she's sure of that. She can see it in Emily's eyes when they're together, she can feel it in their moments of silence. But she's not sure if it's enough. Because, it's not like there never was attraction before, quite the contrary, yet it never worked out for them in the end. So Naomi isn't sure what could be so different this time around.
If she's perfectly honest, the blonde knows that the main reason why she hasn't done anything yet about her feelings for the brunette is because she's afraid. It's a bit terrifying when she thinks about it, the idea of asking Emily out. It's scary because, what if the other girl says no and gets mad? Naomi knows chances are that's exactly how the other girl will respond and she's not sure how to deal with that.
The argument they had ages ago is behind them, but if there's one thing the blonde knows it's that Emily had meant it when she said she was over her. It hadn't been a ploy or anything, she had been. Naomi knows that and perhaps that's why she's terrified by the idea of putting her feelings out there for the brunette now. Because… what if it really is too late?
"What are you thinking about?" Lucy asks her.
"Nothing much just… It's not as simple as that… Emily and I… we've got history of sorts" the blonde explains.
"Oh so she's like an ex?"
"Not exactly no…"
The teenage girl is silent for a moment and Naomi feels like she's being studied.
"Did she hurt you or did you hurt her?" the black haired girl asks simple and Naomi stares.
"How did you…?"
"It's usually one or the other" the teen responds smartly with a wave of her hand.
"That's a pretty good assessment" Naomi says with a snort.
"So? Which one was it?"
"You're entirely too curious you know that?"
"Just answer the bloody question!"
"Okay! Jesus…" The blonde says with an eye roll. "I hurt her"
"And now you're worried it's too late?" the black haired girl states more than asks.
"Yeah well… Can't expect her to still be into me can I?"
"Oh of course not! Emily is not like pathetic, of course she's over you"
"Cheers" the blonde mumbles with a dark look.
"No, that's not what I mean, like…. Of course she's over you, but that's like why you need to ask her out, innit? To like… show her you're worth fancying again" Lucy explains.
Naomi bites at her bottom for a moment. She doesn't know if she should be embarrassed to be told what to do with her feelings by a sixteen year-old –probably if she's honest- but it doesn't change the fact that what the teen said made sense. It makes sense, but it still doesn't make all her fears go away. Naomi doesn't think they can disappear with any words anyway.
"You make it sounds so simple" the blonde mutters.
"Huh, that's cause it is" Lucy scoffs.
Naomi doesn't say anything to that, but she doesn't agree. It's probably clear too because the teenager looks at her and adds.
"Look, if you don't ask her, how can you know? So just like ask her out and if she blows you off than you just move on too and you don't have to pine after her anymore"
The blonde processes the words slowly. Again, the teenager has a point. She may be scared of the outcome, but if she doesn't ask Emily out, if she doesn't even try, she won't get these feelings out. And honestly, a life of pinning after the brunette doesn't sound appealing. It sounds and looks all romantic in movies when someone is irrefutably in love with someone else despite how the other feels, but it's not in real life. In real life, it sucks.
It's probably right in that moment then that she decides that she needs to ask Emily out. She's still horrified by the possibility of Emily throwing her feelings back in her face, but she still needs to do it. Naomi has discussed the matter enough with Lucy though so she doesn't tell the teen about her conclusion, instead, she gives her an impressed smirk and points at the Nintendo controller.
"Reckon I can make it to the end of the game with two stars?" she asks.
"Not if I can help it" Lucy shoots back.
I'm still always eagerly waiting for your feedback on every chapter. Thanks in advance. See you around peeps :) xx