Author: Madianna PM
The families from Child Swap go on holiday to Lapland for Christmas. Disaster and chaos ensue. Benvolio is scared of flying. A holiday rep gets the hots for Tybalt and Rosaline is not impressed. Romeo becomes obsessed with seeing the Northern Lights. Eliseo, Micro and Alexei cause trouble. A Christmas installment of the Child Swap series.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,226 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12-24-12 - Published: 12-01-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8753620
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
RichardIII1955 - Teehee, I love writing those three boys. They are the Second Generation of Montague Boys!
So, everyone managed to go to the toilet, eat their breakfast and get to the Pudding Bus on time for husky riding. But is the family in for a charming little tour, or a drive of hell? Alexei's relation to Amparo is explained, and there are spoilers from the unwritten final installment of the Child Swap series, Measure Against Measure.
Small bit of disclaiming. Allegra's dad Tancredo is mentioned. He's not mine (which is good because he sucks because he doesn't like Wooshy-wo) he belongs to Cornadopia.
"Mum, what's that smell?" asked Erin, wrinkling her nose.
"Dog shit" replied Tybalt.
"Dog excrement" corrected Rosaline.
"It stinks!" Didier exclaimed.
"Welcome to husky-riding!" declared Jingle Jill in an overly enthusiastic voice "These huskies are going to take you for a tour of the scenery. It's two to a cart. All children under two must be held by a responsible adult. You shouldn't ride these huskies if you are pregnant"
"Oh, fantastic. I'll just stand here, shall I?" grumbled Rosaline.
Angelo patted Rosaline's shoulder "Don't worry about it, love, I'll wait with you. You can tell me all about how Erin's doing at school"
"But I wanted to sit next to you!" protested Alexei.
"Perhaps another time" said Angelo gently "We've got all holiday. There are lots of other fun things to do, aren't there?"
"So far I've had to ride in a 'Pudding Bus' and sing a 'Pudding Bus Song' and suffer through leaving Erin and Didier in the same room for a whole night. Sure we're having fun, dad" scowled Rosaline.
"Everybody in the carts!"
Tybalt sat at the front of the carts with Didier, near Jingle Jill. Without her mum to sit next to, Erin sat next to her cousin Tallulah, and they started to talk about all the girly things they hoped to get for Christmas. Gabriel and Amparo sat together, with Natalio on Gabriel's lap. Without his granddad, Alexei had no one to sit next to. Sadly, he shuffled to the back of the carts and sat on his own. Eliseo and Micro looked at one another, and then crammed themselves into the same cart as him.
"You don't want to sit on your own, do you?" asked Micro "That's boring. Let's sit together and throw snowballs at Jingle Jill!"
Rocco and Vittoria went and sat in front of the three boys, and turned around, waiting for the three to do something naughty and hilarious.
"I may as well as just have stayed at home" Rosaline went on, as she stood watching everyone clamour into carts "The only thing I can do is sit around watching telly right now. And that's what Christmas is about anyway. Sitting on the sofa, watching the telly. That's Christmas. This isn't Christmas"
"Oh, quit moaning!" Juliet rolled her eyes "We've come here to try something new"
"Yeah, there's snow up here, we don't get any back home!" shouted Eliseo, aiming a snowball at Tybalt's head as the carts began to move.
"Don't throw snowballs at me you little-!" snarled Tybalt.
"Don't talk to my son like that, Turkey Tibby!" Hermia shouted.
"It snowed the year you were born" said Benvolio "And stop arguing! Didn't Egues say on the plane that there was to be no arguing?"
"Yes, I did" added Lord Capulet "No arguing!"
"As if that'll ever happen" muttered Gabriel to Amparo, who snickered. The huskies ran along, and Rosaline and Angelo faded into the distance. Alexei gave one last wave to Angelo, and then turned around.
"Do you like your granddad?" asked Micro to Alexei.
"Yes, I wish I could see him more" sighed Alexei "He and my dad just argue though"
"We don't see our granddads" said Micro, gesturing to his siblings "Granddad Tancredo doesn't like my mum anymore, and Granddad Chris is always drunk. But I see my great-uncle Egues when we're in Verona"
"That's my granddad" said Eliseo proudly "I see him all the time. He gives me sweets and looks after me and Saffy and Briony, even though Saffy put slugs and carrots down the toilet, when my mum and dad can't. Sometimes he picks me up from school. And I see my Granddad Anthony too. He takes us to the park and sometimes people think I'm his son!"
"That's because your mum and dad were young when they had you. So were mine, actually" said Micro.
"My dad was nineteen" added Alexei "But Amparo was nearly thirty four"
"Is she your mum?" asked Eliseo.
"No, she's my step-mum, but she's like my mum" explained Alexei "Tallulah and Natalio are my half-siblings. I call Tallulah 'Loo-la' and I call Natalio 'Nat the Brat'"
The other two boys laughed.
"I don't have any mean names for my brother and sister, but everyone calls Saffiro Saffy for short. I think he's funny sometimes. Once he put dad's tie and a washing up glove in the shredder" laughed Eliseo. The other boys and Vittoria laughed.
"Saffy is naughty, but he is funny" added Rocco.
"Briony's still a baby, but she's still really cute and funny too. She gives sloppy kisses!" Eliseo exclaimed.
"We saw her kiss you earlier" giggled Alexei.
"Yuck, yuck!" said Micro.
At the front of the carts, Erin turned to Tallulah "I'm asking for pink nail varnish for Christmas. My mummy wears red nail varnish usually, but I prefer to have my own colour"
"That's a good idea. My dad let me put his silver nail varnish on yesterday"
"Why does your dad wear nail varnish?" asked Erin.
Tallulah shrugged "That's just who he is"
"My dad doesn't"
"Damn straight!" barked Tybalt.
"You'd look ugly with nail varnish on" said Erin, turning around "You wouldn't look right"
"No, you'd look like a sex-changer man with whiskers" stated Tallulah.
"Sex-changer man with whiskers?" Tybalt frowned.
"Yes" said Tallulah "A sex-changer man with whiskers"
"Ok, whatever" sighed Tybalt, making sure Didier was behaving himself.
"Ginger whiskers" added Tallulah.
"I'm not ginger!" growled Tybalt.
"Yes, you are" said Tallulah, matter-of-factly "Didier has the same hair colour as you, and he's ginger"
"Me and Didier aren't ginger" lied Tybalt "We have brown hair"
"Not ginger" sulked Didier.
"Yes, you are, daddy! You do have ginger hair! Mummy says you do!" shouted Erin.
"Keep your voice down!" hissed Tybalt "Mummy's wrong. I have brown hair"
"No, you don't, it's ginger" said Gabriel, leaning over "I know loads about hair care, and you are so totally ginger"
"No, no, my Tibby's not ginger!" clucked Regina, leaning over.
"Thank you" said Tybalt grumpily.
"He's got golden hair. Just like a little angel" Regina cooed.
"You're like a gingerbread man!" laughed Erin.
"What if someone ate you?" added Tallulah.
"Stop being annoying! The pair of you!"
"She's not being annoying, she's just asking questions" Gabriel retorted "And you are ginger. But there's no shame in that! My old friend Ceres, he used to dye his hair auburn and he grew it long, past his shoulders. It looked amazing"
"Well, I don't want long girly hair, thank you very much"
"Such a shame!" sighed Gabriel "He'd have killed for your natural colour"
"So, who can see Santa?" shouted Jingle Jill.
"The Tooth Fairy!" Micro shouted back.
"Who isn't real!" Alexei shouted as well.
"Yes, she is!" lied Gabriel.
"Well, we'll have to keep looking!" sang Jingle Jill.
"So, do you think the kids are enjoying this?" asked Juliet to Hermia.
"Oh, I think so. Eliseo and Micro are getting along well as usual. It's so nice they are the same age. When I had him, I did worry that he wouldn't have any family members his own age, and that he'd get lumbered looking after the little ones, but it has all turned out nicely"
"What about you, Saffy, are you having fun?" asked Juliet.
"Want go fast!" Saffiro demanded.
"Saffy, the carts are already going very fast" Benvolio leaned over "And I'm already feeling poorly"
"Fast!" demanded Saffiro.
"Sit back down, take deep breaths, and if you feel like you're going to hurl, aim it at Tybalt" instructed Hermia.
"Tybalt's at the front"
"He's on the nice side now!"
"Anyone who's not me!"
"Or me!" added Juliet.
"Me neither!" said Romeo.
"Yeah, don't turn your head backwards!" added Allegra. Benvolio suddenly turned a very funny green colour.
"Uh oh" said Mercutio "STOP THE HUSKIES! HE'S GOING TO HURL!"
The huskies juddered to a halt. Benvolio staggered off, and retched. Eliseo looked embarrassed. Gabriel winced disgustedly.
"Here, have a drink" said Hermia, pressing a bottle of water to his hand "At least it wasn't one of the kids. You did it very neatly"
"In front of everyone" mumbled Benvolio "And after freaking out on a plane"
"Oh, come on, everyone here knows you and is used to you. And at least the only people out here are Eskimos and polar bears, and none of them are going to care about a bit of sick"
"He's ok!" yelled Mercutio "Come on, Benny, back in the cart. We've got to search for Santa!"
"Yay!" Micro cheered sarcastically.
"He's not real!" added Alexei.
"Yes, he is!" lied Gabriel.