|Morphology of Snow
Author: ArcadiaArden PM
If you duck quickly enough you might avoid the tinsel, but nothing can escape the multicolored lights of Christmas. A little plot, a lot of laughter but please, watch your step on the ice. Sequel to When the Bough Breaks but can stand alone.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Family - J. Rizzoli & M. Isles - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,435 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 01-08-13 - Published: 12-13-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8792734
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
See Ch 1 for disclaimers…
Beyond thanks for snowinmysoul for weeks and weeks of rapid beta work in and around a busy life.
Jane went to pass the broccoli to Korsak when two fingers touched her wrist. With a sigh she brought the plate back to her and scooped a few spears out. She went to pass it off again when the fingers returned. She tried to muster a convincing glare when Maura added more, but after arguing all day it felt good to have her hovering again. When the plate was released she practically tossed it into Korsak's lap if only to make a point, but she was smiling when she did it and Maura gave that gentle shake of her head. When she winked back and Maura rolled her eyes they found themselves laughing. "Fine, I'll eat it but not a word about the butter and parmesan."With that Jane grabbed the grated cheese and let it snow down until the green was sufficiently covered, ignoring the amused twitching on Maura's face.
Angela laughed discretely into her hand at the sight across the table. These were times that she could still see Jane at 7 years old, knees skinned up and hair askew. Knowing Maura embraced those parts of her daughter, loved her for them or despite of them, was a gift for her mother's soul. Noticing Frankie enjoying it as well she went to distract him before he started in on Jane. "Did Frost get off okay?"
"Yeah Ma, Logan's back to a normal schedule, don't worry, his Ma will have him for Christmas." Frankie frowned at the dish she handed him. "What is it with you and the squid every year?"
"You grew up on that squid! Have some respect for tradition." Angela handed him the garlic bread. "This I know you'll eat."
Constance put a forkful of the squid in her mouth. "This is delightful. Which region is your family from Angela?"
"Region in Italy?" Angela chewed a moment while she thought. "At this point we're kind of mixed. I couldn't tell you what part of Italy each dish is from unless I went through the recipe box and tried to figure out which relative it came from. Now it's just all Rizzoli tradition." She pointed her fork at Maura. "I've learned more from Maura while we're cooking about what dish might come from which region."
At Jane's side Maura was explaining where each dish on the table may have originated from. The cadence of her voice was comforting and Jane let herself enjoy dinner against the buzz of conversation. Across from her, she noticed Tommy being uncharacteristically silent. She kicked him under the table, smiling when he scowled at her. "I was just checking to see if you were in there or if the body snatchers had come and sucked your brains out." That earned her a bit of a smile.
"I'm here. Just thinking about when Ma and I dropped TJ off at Lydia's tonight. Mike was there." Tommy cut into a ravioli before pushing part of it around in the sauce for a moment. Suddenly he let out a sigh and looked at his sister. "Do you think tomorrow morning TJ will know it is Christmas?"
Jane bit her lip, understanding suddenly. "Naw, too young. Maybe next year he'll be excited."
Tommy nodded but then looked back at her. "Won't matter though, I won't be there that Christmas morning either." He glanced around the table watching everyone laughing and eating. "Mike offered to video him opening the presents I left." Tommy stared at his plate of food.
"Oh Tommy." Jane stretched across the table and poked at his hand until he looked back at her. "Listen, you and Lydia are going to talk and you'll come up with a solution now that Mike is part of your lives. When he's older you can swap out Christmas mornings year to year. Maybe while he is still young, you can go over there before presents are opened. Talk to her, you'll see. He'll be a little more aware next year, you're not missing much."
He put his fork down and looked at her. "It isn't the same though. Like when we'd grow up and remember how Ma and Pop would make us wait until 6am and then we'd go running in there and wake them up?"
Jane shrugged "Yeah, so, we don't do that now do we? Not that I didn't love those Christmas mornings but shit changes." She paused to grab a piece of garlic bread as the basket passed by. She bit into the bread and as she chewed, she looked around the table. It occurred to her that she was eating the same food she had enjoyed for years on Christmas Eve but almost every face at the table was different. It had the feel of Christmas Eve with the promise of new traditions. Korsak here now, teasing Frankie and charming her mother. Constance and Maura were deep in conversation, both of them relaxed and laughing. It had changed completely from when she was growing up but it was still wonderful.
Finishing her bite of bread, Jane caught Tommy's attention again. "And even if we weren't too big, Pop isn't here this Christmas and he probably won't be here next Christmas. But who knows? I sure as hell didn't think last year we'd be having Christmas with Constance and two years ago I wasn't with Maura and TJ didn't even exist. So shit, different, but it's still Christmas. I don't know, it isn't bad is it? I know I'm looking forward to you bringing TJ over tomorrow." Tommy shrugged, not looking convinced and Jane wished he could see what she was seeing. When he glanced around the table and was quiet she thought maybe he could, hoped that he could, but Tommy was the type of guy that took life as it was. Didn't look forward into the future and seemed to forget his past too easily.
Tommy finished his dinner quietly before calling Jane's name and waiting for his sister to look at him. "Do you think TJ is going to think Mike's his dad?"
Jane was surprised but the statement made her think perhaps Tommy would start to figure things out. At least enough to be there for TJ. "Well he is going to be parenting him so he's going to be a father figure. That you got to deal with Tom. But if you get your ass in gear and you're always around TJ? Well guarantee he'll know that you are his father." She pointed her finger at him. "But only if you make sure you're part of his life. Don't be like Pop. He's missing out on all of this because he walked away. I don't know what he is doing for Christmas but I know it can't be as good as this. No reason for him to disappear just because he and Ma got a divorce." Jane looked at her brother, not sure if he understood what she was saying. "Basically it comes down to this. You made your choices, Lydia made hers. You can't change them but you can work with them. You still have to decide if you have the balls to be TJ's father and if you don't, you have to get with the program and understand Mike will be. Capisce little brother?"
Tommy shook his head a moment. "So your advice is suck it up and don't fuck it up?"
Jane broke into laughter with him. "That works." And she realized it really did. For both of them.
Maura checked the layout of the dishwasher again and satisfied with the balance, she shut the door. Turning around, she looked into the dark family room surprised the television wasn't on. She had chased Jane away from helping her load the dishes and thought she'd try to catch the news. Maura glanced at the clock on the stove. It was almost midnight. Later than she had suspected. Jane must have already gone upstairs. She was about to head up herself when a soft yawning noise caught her attention. "Jane?"
The voice floating back at her held the deeper edge Maura associated with a sleepy Jane. "I'm by the couch."
Maura turned off the overhead lighting in the kitchen and made her way over to couch. "Whatever are you doing on the floor?"
Looking up Jane reached for Maura's hand. "Admiring the tree. Growing up there was never enough seating once my Ma was lying down on the couch so we'd end up on the floor surrounding her. At Christmas time when I didn't like what was on TV I'd sit there and stare up at the tree. Always made it look so tall from the floor. I like it better from down here." With Maura's hand in hers she gave an insistent tug.
Maura yielded to the pull against her and let Jane tug her in-between her legs. She settled with a soft sigh against Jane's chest and stared at the tree. "I think you are correct. It is quite beautiful from this perspective." Strong arms encircled her tightly and she slid down a little until she could rest her head against Jane's collarbone. They sat in silence and Maura could feel the gentle rise and fall of Jane's breathing against her back. There was an uncharacteristic stillness to the woman behind her and Maura let her fingertips trace along the arms at her waist. "You are rather still tonight. What are you thinking about?"
Jane gave a small half laugh. She shifted and tightened her arms around Maura. "I'm scared shitless because Constance is alone with my mother. Why didn't we insist that she stay in the main house again tonight?"
Maura chuckled. "Because neither one asked our opinion. I believe Mother was going to help your mother wrap the last of her presents while they watched Miracle on 34th Street, the original version."
"Like I said, scared shitless." Jane jumped slightly when Maura lightly pinched her wrist. "Hey! What was that for?"
Maura brought the injured wrist to her mouth and kissed it. "Because you were deflecting my earlier question about what is honestly on your mind."
Jane shook her head. "You are spooky sometimes Doctor Isles." She turned her head and kissed Maura's temple. "I was actually feeling sorry for Tommy."
Jane sucked in air and let it out slowly. "He was so depressed at dinner, kind of caught me off guard. Tommy is a sweet guy and all, but he isn't what I think of as a deep thinker." Jane looked at the tree again, the way the dots of colored lights outlined the branches. "But he was upset at dinner because he wasn't going to be there in the morning when TJ opened his presents and he's worried he is being replaced as TJ's dad. I think it's finally hitting him what Mike really means." Jane sighed. "Tommy isn't going to have the kind of Christmas mornings with TJ like we had growing up and that makes me sad for him."
"What kind of Christmas mornings where those?" Maura closed her eyes, trying to picture Jane as a child during the holidays.
"Exciting and happy. We'd wake up early and the boys would come into my room so we could stare at my alarm clock. Rizzoli family rule was Santa did not come before 6am." Jane hugged Maura to her again. "Of course I was the oldest so I had to sneak down the steps and report back to the boys if the man in the big red suit had come."
Maura laughed, picturing Jane stealthily making her way downstairs to check for presents. "I can picture you doing that perfectly."
"Oh yeah, I became damn good at avoiding every squeaking spot in the floor. Came in handy later on when I was a teenager." They laughed together and when they were finished Jane continued. "Eventually the clock would finally read 6am and we'd burst into my parent's bedroom and wake them up. Pop was in charge of going downstairs first to make sure Santa had left and then he'd call all of us down. After that you can imagine it was a complete free-for-all. Paper went everywhere."
"I perhaps could see that." Maura tilted her face up and kissed Jane's jaw.
Jane leaned her cheek against the top of Maura's head and rested quietly for a moment. Finally she let out a soft sigh. "So really, Tommy got to me a little tonight. I started trying to imagine what it would be like to never have a Christmas morning with my kid like we had growing up and I couldn't. It made me too sad to imagine never having that." Jane felt the body she was holding go still and wondered if she had wrecked the moment. The breathing escalated under her arms.
Maura replayed Jane's words in her mind. There was an ambiguous nature to them. Was Jane saying she couldn't imagine Tommy's situation? Where he had a son but wouldn't wake up with him tomorrow morning or was it something more? A cold thrill washed over her and she tried not to let her reaction show. After the struggle they both went through with losing TJ, conversations around children seemed to be a door they avoided opening. Running her fingers back and forth against Jane's hold, Maura wondered if this was Jane's attempt to crack that barrier open but she wasn't certain. Uncertainty aside, the words spoke of future Christmas mornings and Maura wanted those. She threaded her fingers between the ones at her waist. "I would imagine you can have any kind of Christmas morning you wish for in the future."
Jane buried her face into Maura's hair and nodded rapidly.
It was the glow of the Christmas tree against the window pane that brought Maura's attention to the outside. Blinking lights flashed on and off against the inky night and with each burst of illumination lazy white flecks floated down. Maura squeezed Jane's hands. "Look outside, it's snowing."
"It is. I don't remember the weather report calling for it. Looks like Boston will get a true white Christmas this year." Jane watched the flakes drift lazily down. She tapped the watch on Maura's wrist. "What time is it?"
Maura release Jane's fingers and squinted at her watch in the low light from the Christmas tree. "Quarter past 12. " She twisted around to cup Jane's face and bring them together. Her lips traced a familiar path of touch and taste, breaking away and waiting until obsidian eyes flashed open in the muted light. "Merry Christmas."
Jane breathed in the words before tasting them again, softly. "Merry Christmas." Graceful and deliberate, Maura sat upright in her arms until she was kneeling between her legs, hands grasping her thighs. The flash from the lights outside and the falling snow highlighted her briefly and her body hummed with each beat of her heart at the sight.
Maura looked down at Jane, her hair, her parted lips, her chest rising and falling roughly. She brought a finger up to trace the arch of Jane's eyebrow and then down along her temple until she reached her lips. Pressing the tip of her finger against the surface, she watched Jane's eyes drift closed. Swallowing thickly Maura dropped her hand and sat back on her heels. Dark eyes opened and connected. Her mother's words from earlier teased along her senses. She had been astute in her primal analogy of Jane earlier. Family and a future filled with Christmas mornings together. A mate for life. Hers. She cleared her throat from the emotion and her voice came out softer than she intended. "If it's technically Christmas morning, I believe this means that we can open presents."
Jane traced a hand up Maura's zipper. "Santa doesn't come until after 6 am."
Maura could feel Jane's fingertips at the top of her zipper and the shiver that ran down her back left a flush in its wake. Lips reached for hers and she leaned over to meet them, warring with herself at each stroke, letting her words break through. "Please? Just one while it is only you and I?" Maura groaned softly when Jane didn't reach for her again, their forehead touching while she nodded.
"Meet back here in 5?" Jane stroked once more along Maura's backside and down her thigh before she pulled her hands away.
Maura was on her feet and making her way upstairs before she could change her mind. In her bedroom she crouched down and pulled a wrapped box out from under the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress and rested both palms on the shoebox sized box on her lap. She chewed at her lip, trying to imagine how it would be received.
By the back door Jane rummaged through the bag she'd placed there earlier after wrapping gifts in the guesthouse. She pulled out the wrapped cylinder and shook it lightly. The rattling was not unlike her nerves.
Maura reached the family room first. She paused next to the column in the entryway, gift clutched tightly in her hands as she admired the tree. The shadows of eclectic ornaments were highlighted by the muted twinkle of tinsel caught in the merry shine of tiny lights. This was their first tree together and it had come together beautifully. The picture it made, reassuring. She wanted this for every Christmas.
Jane stood at the edge of the family room and let her eyes absorb the image of Maura across the room, barely discernible in the multi colored lights. Somehow the sight quieted her. Confident now, she walked over to the couch and sat back on the floor, opening her arms until Maura gracefully folded herself back into them. She exhaled softly, relaxing. There wasn't anywhere else she'd rather be. She brushed Maura's hair from the back of her neck and placed a light kiss against warm skin as she placed her gift on Maura's lap. "Would you mind opening mine first?"
Maura put her gift on the floor and pushed it back up Jane's thigh. "I would say we should open them together but I need to see you open yours."
Jane picked up the box and shook it lightly. "Well now I'm curious, hurry up so I can see what's in this." When Maura picked the gift up off her lap, Jane put the box in her hands on the floor and rubbed her hands along her thighs. As the paper started to tear she couldn't help but blurt out. "It's not your real gift. I mean it's sort of a gift, but I got you something else too."
When the paper was partway off Maura realized the cylinder was an empty paper towel tube with paper wadded up in the ends. Curious she looked over her shoulder at Jane who was sucking on her bottom lip and rubbing her palms against her knees. Pulling out the paper from one end she dumped the contents out into her hand, staring at it. Jane's voice came out strained behind her, the words rushing into each other.
"It's the toothbrush from my apartment." Jane buried her face into Maura's shoulder as she flushed, embarrassed. "I wanted to know if it could find a new permanent place here." She took a deep breath in and out. "Next to yours. I let my landlord know I'm not renewing my lease next month. So unless it can come stay here it's going to be homeless."
Maura clutched the toothbrush tightly for a moment before she turned around in Jane's arms and sought out her eyes. "You want to come live with me?"
Jane quickly nodded and cleared her throat. "More than anything if you still want me around. I don't want you to ever question if I want to be with you, or at the end of the day wonder if I'm going to come home to you. This is where I need to be. Where I want to be no matter what." She knew Maura's answer before she finished speaking by the brightness in her eyes but the feel of lips over hers was a relief.
Breaking the kiss Maura left her eyes closed, just feeling Jane against her. She ran her hands roughly through unruly brunette waves. "I might be able to be convinced to make room for your toothbrush next to mine." Blindly she felt along the floor until she hit her gift to Jane and tapped it lightly. "You need to open this right now." When Jane reached for the gift Maura straightened up and tucked her legs carefully under her and folded her hands in her lap.
Jane flicked her eyes over Maura, noticing the poised body language. She offered Maura a half smile which was nervously returned. Intrigued she pulled the box between her legs. The bow was intricate and perfect. She pulled it off and ran her hands over the smooth paper, finally catching an edge and tearing the paper off. Looking back at Maura she noticed her hands were almost fisted together. Trying to lighten the mood she tapped the shoebox cover. "Jimmy Choos? You shouldn't have."
Startled Maura rushed to explain her hands twisting together. "It was the only box I had handy to wrap with at the time."
Jane reached out and clasped Maura's hands, stilling them. "I know, I'm sorry, it was a joke."
Maura's breath escaped on a noisy exhale and she offered a small, genuine, smile that was returned.
With a last glance at Maura, Jane removed the lid and started pulling out tissue paper. The next box was small and square with Christmas wrap that reflected the tree lights. Jane could feel her heart in her throat as she carefully removed the wrapping. The box was navy and embossed. Taking the lid off, Jane tapped the smooth lacquered wooden box free. Her fingertips were cold as she hit the clasp.
When the lid on the ring box sprung free Maura quickly reached out to cover both of Jane's hands with hers, the words tumbling rapidly out of her mouth. "You don't have to say anything right now. It can mean whatever you wish. You don't have to wear it, I'm not trying to pressure you but I needed you to know." Maura blinked rapidly emotion and nerves combining wetly. "Ian showed up and I could see you didn't know." Maura could feel the emotion starting to shake her voice. "And you need to understand. You have to. What you are to me, what I want with you and I didn't know how else to tell you."
Jane could feel the hands trembling over hers and she let the ring box go to turn her hands over and tangle their fingers together. Her voice was thick and strained. "Forget what I want. What do you want Maura?"
"You." The word was rapid fire, instant. Maura clutched Jane's hands. "I want you now and I want you 40 years from now." She knew she was crying and she couldn't help it. "And I wanted to give you something so you could look at it and know that."
Jane knew the answer but somehow she needed to ask, to hear it without a doubt. "Are you asking me to marry you?"
Maura could only nod rapidly.
Jane closed her eyes briefly before she pulled Maura to her, lips pressing against the tear track on her cheek. "You beautiful thing you." She kissed down to the corner of Maura's mouth. "You beautiful, brave, thing." Their lips brushed together. "I love you." She pulled away long enough to murmur "Of course I'll marry you." The rest of her commitment was offered as Maura's lips parted softly under hers and she slipped in, repeating her answer with every touch between them.
Gently they broke apart, blinking, staring at each other.
Jane leaned back slightly and picked up the ring box. She traced her finger over the jewelry inside. It was square and bold without being ostentatious or obvious. "We should make this official." Plucking it out, she held the ring out to Maura and offered her hand. The platinum band slipped into place.
Maura touched the inlaid emerald-cut center stone, slightly larger than the inset ones beside it. "It's a black diamond. They symbolize deep feelings and infinite possibilities in a life together. If you don't like it we can have the stone swapped for something more traditional."
"It's perfect. I love it." Jane captured Maura's hand again and squeezed. "Can you wait here a second?" Maura looked confused but she nodded. Jane rushed upstairs and opened up her underwear drawer, pulling out the ring box. She was just about to leave when she stopped and went back. Opening up the drawer again she fished around until she found the small silk satchel. She opened it up and dumped it onto the bureau. Removing the ring from the box she slipped it into the scrap of cotton and returned them both to the little bag before hurrying back downstairs.
Kneeling in front of Maura Jane held out the satchel. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped." When Maura accepted the little bag her heart started thudding in her chest. Hands now empty she rubbed over and around the scars in her palms.
Maura opened the bag and pulled out the little baby sock. She looked at Jane, confused for a moment before memories aligned themselves and her mouth opened on a soft, breathy "Oh." She fingered the little sock, remembered finding it under her hallway table the day Lydia took back TJ. She could still feel the ache and how alone she had felt until Jane had suddenly just been there, holding her. She could still feel the echo of the kiss that followed and the first feel of Jane's body around her. "You pried this sock out of my hand."
Jane could feel the pressure building behind her eyes. Her voice was soft. "It's part of my promise to you. The rest is inside."
Maura felt along inside the sock until her fingertip hit metal. Pulling it out she looked at the faceted sparkle in the diamond flashing.
"Marry me Maura." Jane waited until Maura looked at her. "You said earlier tonight that I could have any kind of Christmas morning I wished for in the future." Jane reached out to clasp Maura's wrists. "I want you to be my fiancée this Christmas and my wife next Christmas. I want to wake up one Christmas morning at 6am because our children couldn't wait a minute longer." She scooted closer. "I want the world to know when they look at you that you have someone waiting for you at home that loves you very much." Jane took the ring out of Maura's fingers. "So will you marry me Maura?"
Maura swallowed around the tightness in her throat. "Yes." The answer was surprisingly easy to give. Yes she wanted to marry Jane. Yes she wanted Jane's children. Yes she wanted everything the rest of their lives had to offer. In the end it didn't need to be analyzed, the answer to this equation was inevitable from the day they had met.
Maura watched the ring slide over her finger. It sparkled in the tree lights as her hand moved up Jane's arm and along her shoulder to clasp the side of her neck while her thumb stroked along soft skin. She took in Jane's features, the glow of the holidays highlighting the snow falling softly outside. "Love me?"
There was no mistaking the intent in the hazel eyes shining back at her and Jane dragged Maura's zipper down. She brushed the back of her fingers up along bare skin. "Always." She took a last glance at the tree glowing warmly before gave herself over to the want in Maura's eyes.
Outside the night stood sentinel as multicolored lights flashed against falling snow. Inside, silent evergreen boughs glinted softly as their bodies met and combined.
Lips were warm against her skin and the words were breathy in her ear. Maura tangled her hand in Jane's hair and pulled her closer "Merry Christmas."
Jane felt hands slide over her and the world narrowed to the space between them. "Merry Christmas."
Warm and safe, wrapped up in each other, the physical met the emotional as they melted into unique gift that was them, together.
A/N – And so we've reached the end of what was originally the epilogue to When the Bough Breaks that I decided to break off and turn it into a standalone story. If the end WTBB felt a tiny bit abrupt compared to my usual style this is why :).
The end also means we're at the fun part where I hope people let me know if they liked the story ;) I know I'm late with ending a Christmas fic but I didn't want to rush and ruin for those who stuck by me chapter by chapter.
By now you all know a particular holiday ear worm provided the general flow I used to expand the epilogue…. 12 Pains of Christmas, each chapter had hints and later chapters more from the song weaved in.
And there was a (hopefully) show level 'case' to solve riding the surface – intended to be rather obvious since the story wasn't, at heart, about the case…. And I couldn't resist having the case come together is a way that you could put a pretty little bow on top somewhat like show under the constraints of TV does.
But neither of those subplots are what I really decided to write about in a sequel to When the Bough Breaks.
I looked at it this way; if WTBB was ultimately a story mired in real life style angst as a result of life altering events, events that brought family and relationships down to their base and then set them up to reform, then Morphology of Snow needed to be written about the only thing powerful enough to let that reformation happen…Love.
Love and its many varied nuances. Impossible to capture in 40k worth of words over a tiny snapshot of life in a story but I gave it a go from my perspective in this 'universe'. I do understand my word is hardly absolute truth, we all have our own individual interpretations based our own life experiences, but this is mine in the world started with WTBB.
In Morphology of Snow I hope that love can be seen from a mother's love for their children or siblings for each other. Those subtle and not so subtle interactions where you guide each other and support each other, directly or indirectly.
Love can also come from friends, especially when those friends become an extension of family. Friends can be honest enough to call you on your flaws but love you all the same. Friends can know you well enough to guess when you are hurting and what might be hurting you. Friends will do things for each other - even if they are coerced into wearing a fuzzy red Santa hat because you found yourself stuck wearing one.
And of course, love is the heart of everything with a significant other. I think it is easy to equate love in a story only with the simple romance of two people getting together and riding off into the sunset. And that is part of love. One of the very best parts of it. But eventually after you head off together you have to continue to grow together or you will fall apart. That means facing each other's flaws and nuances under the pressures of your everyday life as you try to create a future together.
That to me is what real love is and in Morph I tried to explore a brief glimpse of that.
Deep abiding love between two people who share heart and body over time has manifestations in many little ways. Some would say this is different than romantic love but I disagree. True romance is the ability of two people to stand the test of life and still say "I love you" at the end of it.
Love is the ability to accept the entirety of the person you are with. It shows in accepting the past that formed them into the person that they are. The older we are, the more life we have lived and the more past we take forward. Love is in realizing that past could become tangible in the form of a ex lover on a snowy night or internal wounds that make a person act in ways that make little logical sense on the surface. Love is in navigating those reminders, together, understanding that the existence of them does not mean you are loved less, even if the demons of insecurity snap at your heels. Love is shown in the patience and at times pain that come from helping your significant other when that past trickles into your present.
Love can even be seen through strife. Perhaps especially though strife where human flaws lead the way. Nobody is perfect. No reaction is cut and dry. It is not always balanced. In WTBB there was a little more sacrifice on Maura's part (to me). In Morph I flipped it and we see Jane giving a little more (again from my perspective). Both stories have the characters taking and giving but often there is a tiny bit more offered by one person to make it all work. Because that is often how love in real life happens. Sometimes you give more and sometimes you take more. When you are old and grey and looking back, that bigger picture is often equalized – it can just be hard to see it in the moment.
Finally, to me, there is a reason people in an intimate relationship are called lovers. Love can be paramount in the physical moments between two people and the spectrum of what occurs without words can hardly be put in a single story, but here we see four manifestations of the physical side of intimacy. Ch 3 was reconnection and affirmation Ch 8 was reclaiming and reassurance Ch 11 was desire and adoration and we end with Ch 15 which is physical love as celebration.
Because in the end, love in all of its many forms is exactly that – a celebration.
With the conclusion of Morphology I hoped I showed our girls are on the same page. Each willing to offer the next step in their life together the way they thought the other one needed and wanted. In doing that for each other, in giving freely out of love, they come together in the exact same place, whole in the end.
As always my deepest thanks to everyone for reading, for reviewing and for critiquing. I started writing again for my own entertainment but now knowing there are people to write for changed the experience for me. Getting to interact with people in real time and after a story is finished, seeing their thoughts has become near and dear in the process and my greatest motivator.
(writer also promises she is done with quasi/pseudo philosophical-ish fics for awhile before you all think she is a melodramatic freak;) Back to pure fanfic )