|Life Ain't Fair
Author: Purple-Spider PM
Harv isn't allowed to feel the way he does about Finn. It's wrong, it's sinful, and it would ruin/possibly end his life. So he hides it.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Harv & Finn - Words: 1,096 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 01-02-13 - Status: Complete - id: 8866265
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I first put this up on tumblr a while ago and I meant to put it on here so all you people can read it but I forgot. OTL
Here it is though! I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warrior U or any of the characters in it because I am not Aisha Thani. Also I am not nearly that creative.
Warnings: None? I might have to warn you that even though it's filed under "romance" it's not really romantic. Sorry.
It was odd now for Harv to think that when he had first met Finn he had hated him. He had possibly even been a little afraid of him, not knowing who he was or what he wanted from him. He had even considered the thought that Finn could be a zombie after the blond haired boy had shown him the gaping hole where his liver used to be. But after a while Harv had realized that all Finn wanted was a bodygaurd of sorts to protect him from his phobias.
He wasn't sure when he had started to actually enjoy the time he spent with the usually annoying lad, or when they started to become real friends, but he figured it was some time after he had saved Finn from Hevvin that first time. It was a hard thing to figure out since Harv, being the hero that he was, had saved Finn numerous times by now.
He had always assumed that he didn't mean anything to the fair haired boy. He had thought that even though Finn called him his BFF all the time, he only saw Harv as his personal guard, nothing else. But apparently he had been wrong. It came as a funny sort of relief the first time Finn had confirmed their friendship by saying "I'll be there," whenever Harv was in trouble, and even though he said he was kidding Harv could tell he really meant it.
It was good to know that Finn wasn't a total jerk all the time but it also started to give Harv a weird feeling in his stomach, that he wasn't sure he wanted to reflect on, whenever he was around his friend.
Finn was the main focus of a lot of Harv's dreams after that and it scared him. Terrified him actually, because in most of those dreams they were doing stuff together that… wasn't exactly legal. By morning he would sometimes forget his dreams, Finn being the only thing he could remember about them, but sometimes he would remember the duck being there at the end.
"You'll realize eventually." The duck would say right before Harv woke up, feeling a little panicked. And as it turns out, the duck was right. Harv did eventually realise, as dense as he could be sometimes, what everything that was going on meant and what that feeling in his stomach was.
He liked Finn. The way he was supposed to like girls.
He wasn't sure why he liked him either. He had always thought his friend was attractive, in a boyish, pale, upper-class sort of way and he always looked so delicate that Harv could understand why people kept mistaking him for a girl. But he was loud and obnoxious, his voice was high-pitched and shrill and grated on his eardrums when the purple-eyed boy was being especially excitable, and he was mostly just a spoiled, selfish, brat.
But it was the times that Finn actually managed to be quiet for a minute or two, when they would just lay in the grass and stare at the clouds, and the times when Finn would actually say something nice or accidentally let something slip that showed he really did care; those were the times that really got to Harv. The times that made that little feeling he had worse.
Sometimes he could just forget for a while about all the stress and confusion this caused him, when he had a lot of chores to take his mind off of things, or when he was hanging out with the other guys from W.U. But when he was alone, like when he had to watch the goats while they were out grazing, he would end up thinking too much and he would ALMOST feel like crying because it just wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that he had to feel like that about Finn. It wasn't fair that that sort of thing was against the law and he and Finn would be burned or hanged if he acted on his feelings and someone found out. It wasn't fair that even if he did just once and even if Finn didn't feel the same, Finn would be dead too if anyone knew. And it wasn't fair that Harv would probably go to Hell for even thinking like this at all.
So Harv decided quickly that he wasn't going to do anything about it. Because if he did, not only would he be killed and go straight to Hell, but everyone he knew would hate him, his family would be angry, disappointed, asamed, and they'd think that the devil was upon him or that maybe he was under a spell (both of which he wasn't completely sure were untrue), and Finn definitely wouldn't feel the same so at the very least he'd get his feelings hurt.
So he would lie awake at night, after he was sure his little brothers were asleep, and try to reassure himself that if he just ignored the feelings they'd go away. He'd graduate university and go off to fight for the king, while Finn would go his own seperate way and be off doing bard things.
Harv would be a hero, and he'd be surrounded by so many adoring women that he was bound to find at least ONE girl that he would actually be attracted to. He'd marry her and they'd have kids and he'd tell them stories before bed about his old friend Finnigan and their adventures at Warrior U. and maybe even go visit that friend every once in a while.
He'd have a perfect, happy, christian life and most importantly he would completely forget about the silly, little, completely unacceptable crush he used to have on his eccentric friend Finn.
Harv told himself these things every night, the thoughts replaying over and over again in his head until he finally managed to fall asleep. Sometimes he could even almost completely convince himself they were true.
Then he'd wake up the next morning not feeling so sure anymore.