|Luck of the Beagles
Author: Lupineleigh PM
The Beagle Boys try a different approach: stealing Scrooge McDuck's Number One Dime to ransom for cash.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 3,469 - Favs: 2 - Published: 01-02-13 - id: 8867773
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Beagle Boys rushed out of Scrooge McDuck's mansion as alarms blared around them.
"I don't get it, Bigtime! Why did we steal that little dime? We'd make better change robbing a gas station!" Bouncer exclaimed.
"And more snacks too!" Burger piped up.
"This ain't no ordinary dime! This is McDuck's first dime! And we stole it because he'd pay a fortune to get it back!" Bigtime answered as he stuffed the dime into his pants pocket. "And if McDuck doesn't pay up, we know somebody who'd pay big for it! Now move it before he sends the whole army after us!"
Meanwhile, back at McDuck Manor, Scrooge himself was still packing his bean shooter with ammunition. The rest of the household had just finished checking to see what had been stolen and the triplets went straight to their uncle.
"Unca Scrooge!" Louie started.
"The Beagle Boys got your lucky dime!" Huey exclaimed.
"What are you gonna do?" Dewey asked anxiously.
"I'm going to show those Beagles just how 'lucky' that dime is." Scrooge replied with a crafty smirk. "And I'll need you boys to help carry out my plan..."
"What luck!" Bigtime exclaimed as he and his two brothers kicked up their heels onboard a freight train. "Not only did we get away from that flatfoot McDuck scot-free; we also found a ride out of Duckburg." He took out the dime and admired it. "This dime really IS lucky."
"I'll say..." Bouncer replied with a grin. "We've never had it this easy. Maybe it will help us pull off some bank robberies so we can get Ma that dress she's been wanting for her birthday."
"Ooh! Birthdays... I just love birthday parties. Especially the cake. With lots of ice cream and whipped cream and sprinkles and a cherry on top! That makes me hungry. Can I hold the dime? Please?" Burger asked eagerly, reaching over his shorter brother's shoulder for the dime.
"No! Keep yer sticky paws off! I'm not letting this dime out of my sight until we get our cash! Now pipe down, will ya! We're coming up on our stop!"
As the train pulled up, the Beagle Boys got ready to hop out...and froze. A familiar top-hatted silhouette was approaching their car. And the hat wearer was in the process of pushing up his sleeves...
"I don't think he's coming to pay us the ransom for the dime, Bigtime." Bouncer commented uneasily.
"We haven't had time to give our demands yet! Let's get out of here!" Bigtime exclaimed, opening the door on the other side of the sidecar and jumping out. His heavier brothers nearly landed on top of him but the short Beagle got to his feet quickly and got out of the way.
The trio ran across the yard, stopping when they reached a fence.
"Burger, hand over the wire cutters!" Bigtime held out his hand.
Burger checked his shirt and pants. "Uh...about that..."
Bigtime slapped his palm across his face. "Don't tell me you left them at McDuck's!"
"How was I supposed to know we were going to need them again? Besides, I needed room for the candy I snitched from the kitchen. Want some? It's really good!" the chubby beagle proffered some hard candy to his brothers.
"Thanks!" Bouncer grinned appreciatively as he accepted a piece.
"Come on! We don't have time for this!" Bigtime grabbed his brothers' arms and dragged them toward the gate. They froze again when they saw McDuck's silhouette stalking toward them. "Back up, back up, back up! We've got to get out of here!
Conveniently, another train was starting up.
"And there's our ticket now!" Bigtime grinned.
"Uh...won't Scrooge just follow us on the train?" Bouncer asked.
"That's the beauty of it. See, this train is headed back to Duckburg! Scrooge thinks we'll keep running FROM Duckburg. So by going back, we'll be going away from him!"
"D'uhh...yeah! That makes sense."
The brothers boarded the train just before it pulled out of the station. Minutes later they hopped off as it slowed down on its approach to Duckburg.
"Now we should be in the clear. Even if McDuck did follow us, he'd think we're staying on the train until the next town. As long as we keep a low profile, we can still send out our demands and..."
Before Bigtime finished his explanation, Burger pointed over his shoulder.
"Uh, guys? I think you'd better see this..."
The other two started. McDuck was approaching them again, with lowered head, rolled-up sleeves, and hat tipped forward.
"Yow! How'd he find us so fast?!" Bigtime exclaimed.
"Let's get out of here!" Bouncer fled.
The Beagles turned and nearly ran into a second Scrooge McDuck.
"Yipes! Two McDucks!"
The Beagles fled down the street.
The doppelgänger started to run after them, but the first Scrooge hooked him by the arm with his cane.
"No need for running. We'll catch up with them soon enough."
"How are we gonna do that, Uncle Scrooge?" Donald asked as he scratched at his "whiskers." His cheek feathers had been fluffed to resemble Scrooge's.
"With this..." Scrooge smiled as he took out his cell phone. "I've remotely activated the security cameras in all of my businesses. All I have to do is wait for the Beagles to show up in front of one of them. I have Webbigail and Mrs. Beakley monitoring the cameras at me bin. Speaking of which, it's time for the next update." Scrooge held the phone up to his ear slit. "Go ahead, Webby. Where are they now?"
Webby's voice was just audible over the speaker. "The Beagles are heading toward the bakery."
"Good. The smell will keep them occupied long enough for us to get there." Scrooge and Donald headed over to a small flying machine that Gyro was piloting. "Got that, Gyro?"
"Yes sir, Mr. McDuck!" Gyro grinned. "To the bakery! Do you want me to let you off in the back again or use the hologram projector this time?"
"Both. Let's see what those Beagles think of facing three Scrooges, ha ha!"
As the Beagles ran, Bigtime spotted the zoo nearby. "Come on! He'll never find us in there!"
"Aw, but Bigtime! I smell cookies and cupcakes!"
"Not now, Burger! McDuck would expect us to go there! Now move it!"
They slipped through a gate, snuck past the guards and janitor on night duty, and jumped into the first pen they found that had an easily accessible door... Only to come flying out of there seconds later with a crocodile fastened to the seat of Bouncer's pants. Bigtime kicked at the reptile, making it hiss and snap at him. Bouncer fled, snatching up Bigtime. Burger shut the gate behind his brothers, sealing the reptiles inside.
Bouncer put Bigtime down and rubbed his britches. "Next time, we're looking for a sign before we run into an exhibit!"
"Ooh! Here's a good one," Burger said as he pointed to another animal cage. "Look at these monkeys! Ain't they cute? Maybe we can borrow some bananas while we hide out here..."
Bigtime growled but didn't object.
The brothers snuck into the Capuchin monkey cage and relaxed, certain that the tiny primates wouldn't cause them any harm. Not long afterwards, Burger dug out a snack from his pocket. A monkey came over to investigate. Burger refused to share and the monkey screeched at him in protest.
"Shut him up! We don't want to draw attention while we're here!" Bigtime hissed.
"But these are Ma's cookies!" Burger whined as he shoved another monkey's hand away from his pocket and hid his cache from the screeching one.
While the brothers were focused on two monkeys, they failed to notice that their hats had gone missing. Then Bouncer's number placard went missing. He protested. Bigtime saw a monkey running off with it. He patted his head and realized his hat was long gone. Gulping, he checked his pockets. The dime...
"Oh no! Where'd it go?!" Standing up, Bigtime scanned the area for the guilty party. "Alright. Which one of you fleabags picked my pocket?!"
"Gee. Do you really think they'll answer you?" Burger asked as he shoved another monkey away from his own pockets. The cookie in his hand disappeared before he could bite down on it and he ended up biting his own hand. "Hey!"
A monkey chattered overhead. The brothers looked up and saw something silver flash in the monkey's hand.
"He's got the dime! Grab it!" Bigtime pointed and yelled.
Burger and Bouncer both ran toward the tree, smacking into each other.
Bigtime sighed and started climbing the tree.
The Capuchins screeched and starting throwing things at the intruding Beagle while the one with the stolen dime jumped into another tree. Bouncer and Burger followed the monkey from below until it hopped onto the cage roof.
As the befuddled Beagles puzzled over what to do, Burger sighed and looked down. He saw their hats on the ground, plus Bouncer's placard and the other stuff the monkeys had stolen. He put his hat back on.
"Oh well. At least we got our stuff back." Then he noticed a food dish with a few pieces of fruit in it. "Oh boy! Let's eat!"
The monkeys saw Burger getting into their food and raised a ruckus. That included the one with the dime who promptly released the prize to climb to a better perch.
"I got it! I got it!" Bouncer exclaimed as he held out his hands to catch the dime. It bounced off his head and rolled across the ground.
Bigtime grabbed the coin. "Let's get out while the getting's good!"
Burger whined a little about not getting to finish his snack but he followed along. The Beagles snuck back out of the zoo while the night guard checked to see what the monkeys were fussing about.
"Where do we go now?" Bouncer asked.
"Where we always go. Back to Ma's!" Bigtime answered.
"Ooh goodie! I hope she's fixing chili tonight!"
Bouncer and Bigtime groaned. "I hope Ma's got plenty of antacid..." Bouncer commented softly.
Inevitably, their path led them to the bakery again. Bigtime and Bouncer tried to control Burger, but the enticing smell was enough to make the younger Beagle run ahead. He stopped and peered in the window, drooling.
"Mmm-Mmm! Wedding cakes! Birthday cakes! Cookies! Fudge! Eclairs! Ooh! Cream puffs!"
"I'll cream puff you if you don't get moving!" Bigtime snapped, giving Burger a kick in the seat of the pants. "That's the first place McDuck would look for us!"
"Can't we get some pastries to go? I hate running on an empty stomach." Burger complained.
"You're running on an empty head! Now move it!"
"An empty head and empty pockets..." Scrooge's voice called out eerily.
Bouncer looked around nervously but Bigtime remained defiant. "Not so fast, McDuck! I've got your dime, and if you ever want to see it again, you'd better let us go!"
"Like I'm supposed to believe you'd give up your only bargaining chip." Scrooge's voice replied.
"Oh yeah? Just watch!" Bigtime grabbed Burger's shirt front and jumped up, stuffing the dime into his brother's mouth. "Let us go, or the dime goes down the hatch! And you ain't getting it back!"
Scrooge thought this over for a second before answering. "Fine, then. Go!"
"Knew we could count on you to be reasonable!" Bigtime chuckled as he retrieved the dime and ran.
Donald looked at Scrooge. "Uncle Scrooge... I know you love that dime, but is it really worth letting the Beagles go scot-free?"
"Not so fast, Nephew. They're not out of Duckburg yet. We can still catch them by surprise."
Meanwhile, further downtown...
"Boy, that was easy! Threaten McDuck's dime and he'll give away the keys to the city! What else should we add to shopping list?" Bigtime grinned.
"Duh...how about groceries?" Bouncer asked.
"Yeah!" Burger readily agreed. "Let's get some chow!"
Bigtime looked over at a convenience mart and grinned.
"Hehe. Ma always did like fresh bread."
The Beagles filled a shopping cart with groceries and ran out the door with it, not caring when the alarm went off.
"So far so good. No sign of the cops or McDuck anywhere this time." Bigtime smirked. "Maybe there's something to this dime's luck after all!" As he took out the dime to admire it, he stepped into an open man hole. "YOWWWW!"
"Are you alright?" Bouncer asked as he helped Bigtime out.
"Where's the dime?!" Bigtime checked his pockets and the street. "Where's McDuck's dime?!" He dove back into the manhole and searched through the sludgy water, yelling for his brothers to join him in the search.
Meanwhile, several figures stepped out of the shadows.
Scrooge himself was on the phone, impatiently waiting to connect with the company that ran the sewers. Donald was keeping tabs on the Beagles' progress down below.
Another figure joined them. "Hi, Uncle Scrooge. What are you two doing out here?"
"The Beagles got me Number One dime! And they dropped it in the manhole!"
"You mean this dime?" Gladstone grinned, flipping a coin into the air.
Scrooge seized it and studied it carefully under a streetlight before grinning. "Bless me bagpipes! It's Old Number One, alright!"
"Glad to be of help. Lucky for you, I found it on the sidewalk on my way home from a free movie screening." Gladstone Gander said.
"Yeah. Lucky us..." Donald muttered.
"Come on, Nephew," Scrooge tugged on Donald's arm with his cane. "We've got some pesky Beagles to take care of!"
Scrooge's radio crackled. "Uncle Scrooge? Are you there?"
"Yes, we're all right here, Webbigail. As is my dime."
"Oh good! We were starting to get worried when you stopped moving."
"Gladstone found it. I won't be needing assistance now, Lass. You can send the police down to the corner of Market and Coot Lane."
"Okay, Uncle Scrooge."
Gladstone looked confused as Scrooge put away the radio. "How did Webby know you weren't on the move?"
"Easy. I installed a trap around me dime's pedestal. Whoever touches the pedestal after I set the alarm gets coated with invisible paint that glows under a black light. I've put black lights next to the security cameras on all of my store fronts. Gizmoduck and the police also have black lights. I had Huey, Dewey, and Louie follow the Beagles with their remote controlled planes while Webby, and Mrs. Beakley watch the security cameras on monitors in me money bin."
"Sounds simple enough. But that doesn't explain why Donald is dressed like you."
"That's the second half of my plan. Now then. Enough talking. We still have those Beagles to round up."
"Well, I can see you're busy. I'll just go check out that restaurant on my own." Gladstone quickly backed away, not wanting to get roped into doing any work.
At that moment, Burger's head popped out of a manhole. "Did somebody mention sushi?"
Bouncer shoved Burger out of the hole and climbed out himself. "After that dip, I'm beginning to feel like sushi myself."
Donald crossed his arms. "Well whaddaya know? There really ARE rats in the sewer! Hehe."
"Aye. And pack rats from the looks of it, too. Let's say we send these boys packing!" Scrooge grinned.
Donald started to chuckle again but it came out as a "GURK!" as at that moment, Bigtime grabbed him by the neck.
"Alright, McDuck. We can make this nice and easy, or we can make this hard. We ain't leaving until we see some dough. And since we ain't got your dime, I figure we'll make you pay for something more valuable than a measly coin..."
Donald settled the matter by stomping hard on Bigtime's foot, elbowing him in the gut and tossing the Beagle over his head.
Bigtime landed by Scrooge's feet. "Ohhh... I didn't see that coming..."
"Looks like your luck is nothing but bad luck," Donald chuckled.
Bouncer and Burger tried to sneak away but at that moment, the triplets arrived on their bikes.
Bigtime, backing away from Scrooge and Donald, yelled to his brothers. "Grab those squirts!"
All three Beagles pounced, grappling with whatever they could get their hands on until Burger cried, "I got him! I got him!"
"You got me, ya knuckle head! Put me down!" Bigtime growled.
Burger dropped him. "Oops. Sorry..."
They looked back for the bicycle but didn't see anything.
"They got away! Come on!" Bigtime led his brothers in a different direction. Suddenly Scrooge's shadow crossed the sidewalk directly in front of them, followed by a second... And a third?
"Go back, go back!" Bigtime exclaimed.
"You're going back alright..." Scrooge said from somewhere nearby. "To prison!"
The Beagles whirled toward the sound, but they didn't see anyone. Spooked, they started backing down the sidewalk away from the voice when something tapped Bigtime's shoulder. The brothers nearly jumped a foot when they saw Scrooge standing behind them.
"McDuck!" Bigtime started.
"How did he find us so fast?!" Bouncer yelped.
"Who cares? Let's get out of here!" Burger exclaimed.
The Beagles turned and nearly ran into a second Scrooge McDuck.
"Yipes! Two McDucks!"
"That's not another McDuck! That's a McPhony!" Bigtime snarled as he recognized Donald.
"Maybe he is, but I'm not!" McDuck's voice sounded from beside them.
"Don't listen to him! I'm the REAL McDuck!" Scrooge's voice called from yet another direction.
Confused, the Beagles looked around and spotted three top-hatted shadows looming toward them.
"Which one is real, Bigtime?" Bouncer asked.
"I don't know, but I do know that I've had enough!" Burger said. "I'm hungry and tonight is pudding night at the prison! If I can't have Ma's cooking, or steal from the bakery, or eat any of our groceries, then I'm going back to where I CAN get all that I want!" He ran down the street and stopped in front of a police cruiser.
"Officer, arrest me. I'm ready to go back to jail. I want my pudding!"
Bigtime palmed his forehead before facing off with the old duck. "You don't scare me, McDuck! Try your fancy cane tricks with me!"
"With pleasure." Scrooge smirked. In three swipes, Scrooge had the short beagle flat and pinned on the ground.
"Alright... You win, McDuck... I'll go quietly." Bigtime dizzily clutched his head. "Just tell me... How'd you do it? How did you catch up to us at every turn like that?"
"Oh, I have my ways," Scrooge grinned. "And I had plenty of help, too."
The triplets winked and Donald smirked.
At that moment, they all heard something that sounded like a small helicopter approaching. A spotlight blinded them and net landed on top of the Beagle Boys.
"There's no need to fear. GIZMODUCK is here!" Gizmoduck exclaimed as he landed a few feet away. "Sorry I didn't get here sooner, Mr. McDuck. I had to rescue this poor kitten from a tree," he produced the kitten with one of his robotic hands. "And I was looking for its owner. Did I miss something?"
Donald started to sputter but the others chuckled.
"You're just in time to take these two down to that police cruiser to join their brother." Scrooge said levelly.
"You got it, Boss!"
Bouncer and Bigtime groaned.
Later, Scrooge finished polishing Old Number One. His nephews and Webby looked up from their reading when they heard him sigh fondly. As he placed the dime back in its pedestal, Dewey spoke.
"Unca Scrooge? Why do you think the Beagle Boys went after your dime?"
"Yeah, it doesn't make sense for them to go after just one little coin..." Webby added.
"Yes, but they have worked with Magica a time or two," Scrooge answered as he reset the alarm around the pedestal.
"Do you think they were working for her, Unca Scrooge?" Huey asked.
"Not this time, Lad. I think they had to see for themselves if that old coin is as lucky as the rumors say."
"Is it?" Webby asked.
"No, Darlin'. It's just an ordinary dime. But it has a lifetime of memories attached to it and every time I look at it, I'm reminded of how it got each notch, dent, scratch, and worn spot. It saved my life a time or two and that makes it worth the trouble of keeping it. And I'll trouble anyone who tries to take it from me." Scrooge smirked.
Huey chuckled. "I think the Beagle Boys learned that the hard way today!"
The Beagles were loaded into a police van for transport to the high security prison on the hill. As they stopped at a red light, a panhandler stepped up to implore the officers.
"Hey buddy, spare a dime for a cup of coffee?"
"Aw, shaddup!" Bigtime grumbled.