|What the Eyes Don't See
Author: mamasutra PM
The secrets we keep in the name of loving another the most damning ones. What the Eyes Don't See, Can't Hurt the Heart. Sex, love, and betrayal makes the world a complicated place when there is too much to lose and not enough reasons to stop. ExL and ExBRated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,863 - Reviews: 751 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 06-10-13 - Published: 01-03-13 - id: 8870133
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
WARNING! This is a story about death, betrayal of marriage and betrayal of friendship. If cheating is a hard limit for you then please kindly click X and move along to another more fitting fic.
I listened the resounding slamming of the door. He was angry. He was hurt and knowing that only made me bite back a sob.
"You ok, Lee-Lee?" Bella asked me in a concerned tone that made my already sick stomach turn so that I was swallowing bile.
She had no idea how far from ok I was.
"Yeah, I gotta go," I whispered to her, ending the call before she could question me any further. I couldn't take her sweet concern or her worried questions.
I tossed my phone on the couch and then stood there looking around at the empty shell that was now my life. There was no happiness here or warmth. There was only icy regret and lost memories of better times. My eyes scanned over the book shelf before settling on a picture. It was the same picture that I came back to after Edward's departure and the high of sex was waning. Just like when he was alive, his dark eyes shined bright and his smile was flawless, but I knew better. I could see the disappointment on his face. I could feel it radiating from the picture, marring his handsomeness with what I had done.
My Sam. My heart. My husband. He was gone from me, stolen from me by fate and circumstance. He left me with only the memory of his kiss and a granite headstone that bore his name.
"Don't look at me like that," I whispered to his ghost as I felt the sting of his anger on my skin even though I couldn't see him.
"I just want…." I stammered into the air around me as I fought to find my reason for what I did. Was there a reason to be with Edward? I didn't love him. I never had. I barely ever liked him with his arrogant smirks and cocky attitude, yet week after week I taunted him. I teased. I guilted him over the fact that he alone had robbed me of my happiness until he finally caved under the persistent swirling of my tongue around his cock. It was a punishment that I took out on his flesh and sanity every opportunity I could.
"I just want to be happy and maybe…" I stammered to him as I stepped close to the picture as if I could reason with the glossy paper, but there was no reasoning. He knew as well as what I did that there were no excuses and I was only playing with fire, begging to get burned.
My phone chimed loudly on the couch, causing me to jump in fright as I stumbled back from the book shelf as if Sam was reaching out to me from the grave. It was with a shaking hand and heartbeat in my ears as I grabbed the phone.
The message was simple and as old as time from Edward. It also was meaningless since I knew he was liar. He didn't just lie to Bella or me, since the biggest lies were the ones he told himself. He was too much like me in this matter. Too stuck in a past he cannot change. Too willing to take the blame for the death of another. Too willing to be my personal whipping boy that I used for pleasure. He was trapped in this weird warp of guilt and self punishment that I had inflicted upon him as well as myself, but he didn't seem to understand there was no escape. I read his words and laughed out loud like the manic I was slowly over his newest lie.
Thanks for reading! There will be a lot of Leah POV in this fic since I think she is way more interesting than Edward.