|What the Eyes Don't See
Author: mamasutra PM
The secrets we keep in the name of loving another the most damning ones. What the Eyes Don't See, Can't Hurt the Heart. Sex, love, and betrayal makes the world a complicated place when there is too much to lose and not enough reasons to stop. ExL and ExBRated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 13 - Words: 8,473 - Reviews: 547 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 05-16-13 - Published: 01-03-13 - id: 8870133
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
***warning! Not beta'd and involves cheating. If this is a hard limit for you click X on in the upper right hand corner & have a nice day : )***
The drive home was long and horrendous as I took the long the way to where I belonged and then laughed like a fucking moron over my behavior since it mirrored my own stupidity in the last six months of my life.
How does one go from everything perfect to everything being utter shit in the matter of weeks? How does one's life turn on a dime? I wasn't sure, but I knew mine had and it had to change. I couldn't live like this. I couldn't allow her to live like this. I couldn't allow this hurt Bella, yet I knew it would.
I was so fucked.
MY mind went back to a time when there was no jealousy or Leah lurking the back ground. It was easier then back before Sam took his own life and everything else just went to hell all around me. If I could go back and change it all I would. I would do it without thinking or questioning it. I wanted to go back to a time when going home meant going home without secrets and love marks that I had to hide.
As I drove the streets getting closer to the home that I shared with the woman whom I didn't even know any more my mind wandered back to Sam.
Fucking Sam and his selfishness that changed everyone that it touched. He couldn't handle not succeeding in business so because of it he just ended it. It was cruel to Leah, but that was Sam. He was all about protecting himself while throwing others to the wolves. The only good thing about his death was that it left Leah taken care of. She was able to catch up on missing mortgage payments and live comfortably even if it was without him. It made me hate him since after he was gone I was left to pick up the pieces and the picking up those pieces was painful.
"DO you think he left me because he didn't love me enough?" Leah asked me with tears in her eyes as we sat in his office, cleaning it out while unsure of what to save and what to toss.
"He loved you more than anything, Lee" I assured her as I slipped my hand into hers once more. It was a touch that we were getting used to. I was used to holding her hand. I was getting used to going to her place at night to check on her when she didn't answer her phone. I was used to holding her while she cried for him, because of him.
It was those innocent conversations of me assuring her that Sam loved her and his choice was not her fault. I needed her to know that she was still beautiful and young. I wanted her to understand that her life was far from being over and there would be another man to love, to touch, and to care for, but my words seemed to work against me as the more I soothed her the more aggressive she became. Her touches became softer, seeking out more. Her whispers more heated until they lead to the biggest mistake of my life. The one mistake I can't seem to distance myself from or undo.
I parked in front of my house, unsure if I could go in and face Bella. How many times could I lie to her and get away with it? She knew something was wrong. I could see it when she spoke, when she questioned me. She wanted to believe me, but she knew I was nothing but a liar. She knew, she just refused to see it yet and I did not have the heart or courage to tell.
"She would take a bullet for you," I whispered to Leah as I caught her watching Bella from a distance not long after our so called affair started. It was one of the many attempts I had made to end things before they were out of hand even though I knew they were already out of control. I would point out how she would hurt Bella with this, not that it seemed like Leah cared.
"Yeah, but isn't always the ones you would take the bullet for that are the same ones pulling the trigger," she whispered her reply before going over to stand by my wife as if nothing was out of the ordinary when the rest of our world was burning around us.
Thank you for reading.
If this is not your preferred type of story I understand, but please save your energy from screaming at me over your preferences. There is no need to. It's like screaming at me for liking the color pink when you don't. It's pointless, kinda stupid, and makes the person screaming obscenities look unstable, know what I mean?