|I'm The Reason Why We're Breaking
Author: AlwaysPadfoot PM
Teddy has something to tell Roxanne and it's killing him inside. Roxanne is heartbroken and Teddy realises just how much he's hurt her. Can he win her back or is it too late to make amends? Will he lose himself along the way? Companion piece to If I Could Only Stop From Fading.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Teddy L. & Roxanne W. - Words: 1,696 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 01-04-13 - Status: Complete - id: 8875960
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I'm The Reason Why We're Breaking
For the Somethings Are Better Left Unfinished Competition and The Seven Days of Weasley Challenge (Teddy).
This is a companion piece to If I could Only Stop From Fading.
Some days he wished that he hadn't over thought what he was about to do.
Why had he even considered being good enough for her? Roxanne Weasley, someone he had known for years and loved ever since, but he'd never thought about it being too good to last. Of course, he loved her with all his heart, but she deserved so much better than he could give.
Besides, what was he compared to so many others?
Teddy sat at the Gryffindor table, his usual turquoise hair lay naturally black, flat against his head as he stared into the milk and Rice Krispies in his cereal bowl sadly. He should go and talk to her now before she came to him and questioned his plain appearance. Why was he being so cowardly? All he needed to do was stand up and go and ask Roxanne whether he could talk to her outside.
"Back in a moment," he eventually mumbled to his friends before he forced himself to his feet and towards the Slytherin table. Roxanne was on the end as usual with Morgan Greengrass, her dark hair was scooped up in a messy bun and she was happily chatting away. She looked up and smiled, waving him over.
Don't smile, he thought, it'll only make it worse.
He forced himself to keep a straight face and when he reached the table he nervously rubbed his neck, "Can we talk outside for a moment?"
She raised an eyebrow, instantly knowing something was wrong, but graciously she left the table. Teddy knew deep down that already Roxy was suspicious of his actions, but this was for the best. This was so she could have better. Roxanne stopped him in the doorway of the Great Hall, grabbing his arm.
"What's going on, Teddy?"
He gulped inconspicuously, just do it, Teddy, man up you bloody scaredy-cat.
"Roxy," he breathed, "We can't go out any more."
She flinched away from him in shock, staring up into his eyes in disbelief as she processed his words.
"What did you say?"
Each word she stammered was a knife to Teddy's heart, "We can't go out any longer, I won't let it continue like this."
"Like what," she snapped, "I was under the impression everything was just peachy."
Her voice raised, but even so he could see her eyes starting to go watery. Her hands clenched into fists as she started to shake with either anger or the will-power it was taking to keep her from getting upset. A few people in the hall had turned to them after hearing her voice.
"No," Teddy managed to answer.
"Look Roxy, it's just -" he began, taking a step towards her.
"Don't touch me, Lupin."
The whole hall had gone silent now, far too entertained by the couple to return to their breakfast just yet.
"Roxy," he started again.
"No, don't call me that," she shouted, tears running down her face now, "Don't you ever talk to me again, Lupin."
With her last words, she took off in the direction of Slytherin dorms, leaving Teddy stood in the doorway of the now-silent Great Hall. His heart broke as he watched her leave, he couldn't believe how badly that had gone, and now, with tears threatening his own eyes he quickly moved away from the doorway and ascended the stairs to the seventh floor.
As he did, the Great Hall burst into whispers.
It was a week later and nothing had got any better.
Teddy was spending and his free time in the Common Room, scared of meeting Roxanne in the corridors. NEWTs had almost taken a backseat as he sat staring into the flames of the Gryffindor Fireplace. After seeing how upset she was and how awful he'd felt for being the one who caused it, Teddy was finally having the thoughts he should have had a week ago. Why was he stupid enough to break up with the girl he loved?
"Lupin, for fucks sake, go and get some air mate," Carl Wood shouted across the empty Common Room. Victoire, a sixth year, and Molly, a seven year, both of whom he considered friends were sat with him studying.
"No, can't," Teddy mumbled in response. There was shuffling and muttering from them before Victoire came and sat down beside him.
"Teddy, where is she now?"
"Potions," he answered automatically.
"Then you don't need to worry about bumping into her, just go get some air," Victoire replied, patting him softly on the knee before wandering back over to her table. He sat for a little longer on the sofa and then he got up and left the Common Room. Of course, all he needed was some air and he'd feel better. At least he hoped that might work anyway.
Teddy took a shortcut down to the first floor corridor, but when he climbed out of the portrait of Merlin he spotted someone he recognised walking just ahead of him towards the second floor staircase. Her clothes were dishevelled from what he could only guess was some sort of fight and he couldn't stop himself from speaking aloud.
Teddy's voice made her freeze, he took a few steps forward and reached out for her hand from behind, but she pulled it away harshly making him wince.
"No. Get away from me," she growled before quickening her pace and leaving him behind.
"Roxanne. Please, Roxy, Roxanne."
He called out several times but yet she kept walking and just like that she disappeared from his sight. He knew he'd blown it; he slipped back through the portrait and slid to the floor, tears rolling down his face.
What the hell had he done?
It had been two months since Teddy had bumped into Roxanne on the first floor corridor.
He'd heard she'd lost her cool in Potions and had suffered a month of detentions for her actions. Headmistress McGonagall had threatened her prefectship apparently, and boy was he glad she hadn't taken it away. Teddy was Head-Boy and all Prefects had a meeting every week with the Head Boy and Head Girl.
That was the only time he got to see her.
He didn't care that every time he saw her he died a little more inside. He didn't care that every time he saw her he had to pretend that nothing was getting to him, everything seemed to be pushing him further and further to breaking down. He just didn't care.
Because she was happy ignoring him and Teddy was just glad she was happy.
And so it had finally come to the end of his Hogwarts years. In just a month he would be starting his Auror training at the Ministry, but so many things made him sad right now that he couldn't seem to feel any excitement what-so-ever. He climbed off the train and was greeted by the Potters and a few members of the Weasley dynamic.
He forced a smile.
Teddy barely listened as he watched Roxanne alight the train with her brother and approach their father. There was no sign of her mother, it must have happened; the break-up and he couldn't be by her side when she'd been at his. He'd been helping Roxanne get through it, her Mum and Dad, they had never been right, but if he could just be at her side he wouldn't feel like shit.
He wouldn't fell like he was breaking every promise he made her.
His heart leapt as she took one last fleeting look across the Platform meeting his eyes before she turned back to her family.
Roxanne had looked for him and that was all the strength he needed.
Please I've been such an idiot. Please let me speak to you.
Please, I never meant to do it. I love you so much and I'm so sorry, please write back to be so we can meet up. I need to explain.
Why won't you answer the phone I gave you? All I want is to talk. I want to fix this, what we had was so amazing and I love you. I made a huge mistake; please don't let it be the worst mistake of my life.
Please stop harassing me. You made it perfectly clear that we could no longer be together. I'm over it, I've moved on. You better do so to.
I don't ever want to see or talk to you again. Back off.
"I love you."
Teddy smiled softly as Victoire lent her head against his chest on platform nine and three quarters at King Cross Station. He'd got the day off training to come and see her off. They'd been together two months now. Smiling, he kissed her forehead and then before he even knew it her lips had met his.
"Teddy, what the hell are you doing?"
He looked up so quickly that he knocked his chin against her nose, only to find that James, his third year God-Brother, was stood watching Victoire and him making out.
"I've come to see Victoire off to her last year, now bugger off," Teddy warned, making him scatter off pretty fast, he leant back down to Victoire, "Sorry," he blushed, before he kissed her once again. Her lips were soft and Teddy almost found himself getting lost in the moment, but then he looked up.
Roxanne was there.
Briefly, Teddy caught her eyes and his expression faltered momentarily, dread sliding along his spine as time stood still for just a second. He broke away from Victoire, but it was too late, because Roxy was gone.