|The Indestructible Steel Texan
Author: TheWriter22 PM
Jeff Boomhauer was just your average billionaire but on a business trip to Afghanistan, he is captured and held hostage by terrorist, so now he must use his great mind to escape but soon after he discovers the truth behind his capture. Parody of the 2008 Iron man MovieRated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,968 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 03-24-13 - Published: 01-09-13 - id: 8894047
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own King of the Hill or Iron Man is this just a non-profit parody.
Presenting the second chapter of this Iron Man parody starring Boomhauer. Enjoy
(Las Vegas: Thirty Six Hours Earlier)
Inside a large room in the famous Caesars Palace filled with people who came all dressed up for a special occasion, one which was getting ready to start when the lights dimmed and a picture of Jeff Boomhauer appeared on a large screen above the stage.
"A Genius, A Visionary, A True American Patriot, these are the words that best describe Jeff Boomhauer," a voice said over a speaker, "with his high intelligence and imagination at a real early age, the oldest of two sons of famous weapons maker Harold Boomhauer he quickly stole the spotlight."
The next image was of a young Jeff with his father holding something that Jeff had made all by himself.
"At the age of four Jeff build his first circuit board, then his first engine at age six, and then at age sixteen he graduated at the top of his class with a degree in Technology, but sadly two years later the passing of a titan, the deaths of Harold, his wife Valarie, and Jeff's younger brother Patch in a car accident that deeply effected Jeff, but luckily for Harold his lifelong friend, Buck Strickland was there to fill the hole left by the legend, then at the age of twenty-one the prodigal son returns to claim the rightful place as CEO of Boomhauer Industries where in no time moved the company forward into a new era with smarter weapons, advancements in robotics, and improvements in satellite targeting, Today we can sleep soundly because, Jeff Boomhauer has single handily changed every thing in the weapons industries to guarantee that America and her interest around the globe are well protected."
The crowd cheered and applauded as the presentation while a man in a U.S. Air Force uniform stepped up on the stage towards the podium holding a trophy.
"Good, evening," the man greeted, "I'm L.T. Colonel Roger Sack lifelong friend to Jeff Boomhauer himself and representive from the Air Force to Boomhauer Industries which gives me the honor of to personally present this year's Apogee Award to my friend and mentor, Mr. Jeff Boomhauer."
Once again the crowd cheered and Roger stood up on the stage getting ready to hand his best friend the award but something was wrong for Boomhauer wasn't getting up to accept the award. Roger looked down at the table where Buck Strickland was sitting and gave him the, "Where is he at?" look which Buck responded by shrugging his shoulders before getting up and walking up to the stage where Roger handed him the trophy.
"Thank you very much, Colonel," Buck said as Roger walked off to look for Jeff, "this is such a lovely trophy and if you think I'm Jeff Boomhauer then obviously need to get your eyes check but if I was Jeff I'm sure he would say that he's honored to have received this most prestigious award plus he throw in a couple of "dang olds" somewhere but if I know Jeff and I do I bet anything that's he's working on his next big project right at this moment."
Poor old Buck Strickland for he couldn't be anymore wrong for at that moment Boomhauer was in the casino playing craps with two attractive women standing next to him on each side.
"Come on dang old six, man," Boomhauer said before tossing the dice which the result was six, "WOOO!"
He was getting ready to roll again when Roger came walking up from behind.
"There you are," he said, "I've looked everywhere for you."
Boomhauer turned to see his best friend standing there.
"Hey, Roger, you're just in time I'm on a dang roll."
Roger placed the trophy in front of Boomhauer.
"I was personally informed that you would be deeply honored if I presented you with this award."
Jeff picked up the award and gave Roger a cheesy grin which didn't go over to well with him.
"I am deeply honored."
"Can we go now?"
"Come on one more roll."
Boomhauer lifted the dice to the two lovely women who gently blew on them the he turned to Roger who after non stop begging from Jeff knocked on the dice out of his hand, then the dice rolled as Boomhauer was hoping for right outcome but instead the dice came up a two.
"Snakes Eyes, you lose." the man running the table shouted
"I guess you can't win them all." Jeff said as he left the table and Roger quickly followed
The two walked out of the casino and into the man lobby where a man dressed as Caesar himself was standing in the center of the room greeting the different people around him until Jeff handed him the trophy.
"Look, tomorrow we're going to Afghanistan for your big demonstration of your latest weapon and I need you well rested and sober."
"Don't worry I'll be on time." Jeff promised as they stepped outside where his personal chauffeur left to get the limo
"Remember, don't be late." Roger said as he left to go home
Boomhauer stood there waiting for his limo when somebody walked up to him.
"Mr. Boomhauer." a voice said
Jeff turned to see a woman around his height with long black hair wearing a purple blouse with a black skirt, along with golden necklace.
"Alea Bloodworth, Arlen Bystander." the woman introduced herself
"You mean like from Arlen, Texas?"
"Yes." Alea replied
"What on Earth are you doing in Las Vegas?"
"It's not everyday a man who can trace his childhood back to Arlen makes a big name for himself but again you are Jeff Boomhauer and the Bystander wants to know everything that there is to know about Arlen's favorite son."
"What would you like to know?" Jeff asked
"First off what do you think your nickname, The Real Life Daedalus?"
"I'm not to crazy about that one, I mean the guy was a bad father for letting his dang son fly so close to the freaking sun with wings made of wax."
"How about the Supplier of Chaos?"
"Now that one I like it has a ring to it."
"Personally I wouldn't be so proud of that name."
"Let me guess, Brown?"
Columbia actually." Alea corrected
"Okay then, Miss Columbia," Jeff said, "there's only one Earth and I'll admit that it's not perfect but the day that all wars end and the nations of the world declare peace then I will personally began to build children's hospitals with my bare hands."
"Sounds a little rehearsed." Alea pointed out
"Every morning when I get up and again before I go to bed."
Alea turned off her tape recorder then placed it back in her pocket.
"I think we're done here."
"Now hold on, beautiful," Boomhauer said," I got more to say."
Alea stared at him until she decided to give him another chance and brought her tape recorder back out.
"Fine, you got one more chance but I want a straight and serious answer."
"How is this for serious, my father lived by a philosophy, "Peace can only be achieved if you are holding the bigger stick."." Boomhauer recited
"Pretty easy to say coming from the guy who has the stick that can easily kill the other guy." Alea sarcastically stated
"Give me a break, woman," Jeff said, "my father helped to defeat those pesky Nazis, he was a key player in the Manhattan Project, so go back to your professors at Columbia and I bet they'll tell you that he is a dang hero."
"Yet some would say that he profited from the war."
"Will you quit focusing in on the negative," Jeff beg, "there have been dozens of breakthroughs in medical technology from Boomhauer Industries that have benefited millions of citizens."
"How do you sleep at night." Alea said with deep hatred for Jeff's personality
(6:59 a.m. the next day)
We see Alea laying on a large king sized bed cover by a sheet and a large blanket.
"Good, Morning, Jeff," a voice of a woman greeted which woke Alea up frightened as she held on to the sheet as she looked around to see that no one was present she then looked at the window, "the time is 7 a.m. and temperature for Malibu is sixty-seven degrees with clear skies and a wind speed of five mph."
Alea turned her head as what she guess was a holographic curtain opened to show a gorgeous view of the outside, she stood up still holding on to the sheet as she walked over to the window to see the clear sky and the beautiful blue ocean below which was just a small part of the cliff side home of Jeff Boomhauer.
"I'm not proud of the events that cause me to ended up here but damn." Alea complemented the view while remembering the events of last night
She left the bedroom in a robe that she found lying over a chair and decided to look around the home of the famous Boomhauer. Her investigation led her to the living room which she to her surprise was a half way decent furniture despite the fact that Jeff was a bachelor and a taste for music by the grand piano in the corner Then something caught her eye when she spotted a type of biological scanner next to a decorative metal door she slowly reached out and touched it.
"Unknown biological signature detected," the same female voice said from before causing Alea to jump back a bit, "you have no authorization to enter this area."
"That would be S.A.L.L.Y," another female voice said, "Jeff's greatest creation as she likes to say."
Alea turned to see a woman about her height with medium length blonde hair wearing a white silk shirt under a black jacket with matching skirt holding a large clear plastic bag with what Alea could see was her cloths.
"I got your cloths, they been dry cleaned, ironed, and are good as new."
Alea immediately figured out who the woman was and smiled.
"No doubt that you're Jeff's famous assistant, Katherine Hester," Alea guessed, "I see that you're still doing the grunt work after all these years?"
"Well Mr. Boomhauer is at busy man so somebody has to do all the small things," Katherine explained, "that includes everything from dry cleaning to taking out all the unwanted trash from the house."
She didn't know why but Alea felt offended by how Katherine said that last part.
"There's a car waiting for you outside."
Katherine handed Alea her cloths then headed downstairs to Jeff's garage/work station to get some things done before he left for his visit overseas. She reached the bottom of the stairs where Boomhauer was working on one of his classic cars while listening to some music that he had up to a level that some would consider too loud. She stopped at the door, reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of earplugs that she put in both ears before she placed her thumb on the scanner.
"Authorization Granted, welcome Miss Hester." Sally greeted
She walked through the door where she immediately turned the knob that controlled the volume of the music and got Boomhauer's attention.
"Hey, hey, don't turn off my dang music." Boomhauer shouted standing up
"Well if I didn't then you wouldn't hear me when I said that Roger just called to tell you that your late because your jet was supposed to leave an hour ago,"
"One would think it would wait on me since it's my freaking jet."
"Not only that but I need you to quickly sign these few papers before you leave."
"Why the dang old rush, Katherine?" Jeff asked as he quickly put his signature on the documents then handed them back to her
"It just so happens that I made plans for tonight."
"What kind of plans?"
"Nothing special," Katherine answered as she placed the documents back in the folder, "it just happens that today is my birthday."
"It's your birthday already?"
"Yeah, pretty funny how I had one last year on the same day."
"Okay, then get yourself something on my behalf."
"I already did that and what you got me is wonderful."
Boomhauer wished her a happy birthday before he headed upstairs to get ready for his trip on the other side of the world.
So that's the first series of events that will lead up to his capture, next up the second half of these events and the first part of his escape. Stay Tuned.