My first Hey Arnold! fic but certainly not my first fanfic. This is just the first part, hopefully, so clarification, furhter plot and so on is to be added. I specilize in death and angst so please beware if you don't like either of those as well. I dont own Hey Arnold! and I think if I did I woul just ruin it so I'm happy to just be a fan. In otherwords, I own nothing but my words.

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It always seems to rain when the tone is melancholy, raindrops like tears flooding the scene with poetic symbolism and a dash or irony. Helga scoffed at the bright rays of sun that danced across the window panes as she watched from the rooftops into the cemetery where the black clothed figures held handfuls of flowers and made little whimpers and sniffs as the priests mellow words tripped off their ears. From the rooftops she couldn't make out what was being said, only the heavy tone and depressing lilt to the man's voice was able to climb the three stories. Her heart went out to the small gathering. A few faces of friends were visible over black suits and dresses as they stood outside the designated area reserved for the immediate family of the departed. An older lady stood out from both crowds like a rubber duck in a pile of horseshoes. Her bright pastel shirt and white shorts and tennis shoes were an eyesore that no one seemed to notice, an accepted eccentricity. Despite her distracting attire, the old woman remained still and silent, flanked by a taller, younger and yet so much more mature boy. His wide face and far set eyes were trained on the lowering black casket, one hand clasping the older woman's while the other held a single lily.

Arnold.

Helga worried her bottom lip, afraid she might cry as she watched her secret love grieve. The rooftop was empty, not a soul to accompany her and no one even aware of her presence above to mind any sympathetic tears. It would have been nice to have shared in his pain but crying was not an option. She bit hard on her lip, calming her emotions with physical pain and ebbing the empathy she felt for her.. friend? If even that. They hung out on occasion within larger groups and helped each other when called for but apart from that, nothing. What was friendship anyway? Nothing Helga was an expert on, of that she was sure. It didn't matter anyway. Friends of not, unrequited love interest or despised nemesis, Arnold was Arnold and Arnold was in pain.

Death sucked. Why the emphasis was on the departed was a mystery. /It's those left behind that live in the most pain/, Helga noted, resting her chin on her crossed arms as she continued her bird's eye view of the mourners. She watched as Arnold stepped forward, tossing his lily into the long pit, running his sleeve across his face to wipe away the wetness. His hair was combed back, the small hat missing from his head. He looked good in his suit, if not much older than his years. Thirteen. Too young to be an adult but too mature to be a child. They were all experiencing the confusion of their age, the changes and questions, the uncertainty of what was acceptable as well as what was expected. Helga herself had had to adapt. Pink was apparently childish as were pigtails and bows. All were gone, her hair brushed straight with only a black headband to adorn it while blue jeans and T-shirts steadily multiplied in her closet. Some people had changed more than she had, some less. Arnold had remained a constant for the most part, his clothes just getting bigger as he grew taller. Taller than her, though not by much, and yet nothing compared to the giant Gerald had become. Everyone changed, things changed, times changed. Change was good, Bob had said. All the more reason to disagree. Helga ground her teeth together in frustration. The scene below was because of change and a perfect example of the horrors change led too. Change sucked as much as death did. Maybe more.

The people below began to disperse, a sign that the funeral was over and a cue to leave the rooftop before wandering eyes caught her in her act of humility. She climbed down the fire escape, dusting herself off as she exited the alley and came upon the sidewalk.

"Helga! Hey, Helga!"

Helga jumped, mentally kicking herself for the reaction at the same time. She turned around, putting a scowl on her face to mask her previous response. "What do you want?"

Phoebe shook her head, "I just wanted to tell you that you missed the funeral. You were coming, right?"

"Me? Go to some utterly depressing funeral for someone I didn't even know? Why would I have wanted to go to that? Are you joking?"

"That's very cold, Helga." Phoebe stated. She had grown quite a bit bolder when dealing with Helga since she and Gerald had started going out. "Even if you didn't know him you should have still came to support Arnold. His grandpa died. He's quite upset."

"I bet." Helga rolled her eyes, hoping she portrayed indifference as well as she hoped she did, "Still, it's not my problem. Sorry someone died and all but that's no reason for me to waste my weakened dressed in black when it's ninety degrees outside." She waved distractedly, "Look, I'm kinda in a hurry. Why don't you go find Geraldo or something. I'm sure he's looking for you and with everyone sporting the same motif it's probably going to take him a while."

Phoebe clenched her hands into fists at her side, "Gerald is with Arnold right now. When I saw you I thought maybe you had had a change of heart but I see I was mistaken. Do everyone a favor and just go. Arnold's feeling bad enough. He doesn't need to see you today on top of that."

Helga winced internally at the harsh blow. "Yeah, sure, whatever," she started walking off, "See ya Monday." She could almost feel the fumes coming off her old friend as she ambled down the sidewalk, her mind trying to block out the echo of Phoebe's words.

"It's not that I don't care. It's that I can't afford to care." Helga frowned, her hand clasping around the heart shaped locket that held within it the picture of her tortured crush. Like a stormy sky on a melancholy scene, she couldn't help but symbolize the cold heart against her chest with only a memory inside it.

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First draft so I hope it wasn't too bad. I tend to write fast so beware upcomming chapters soon.
~Niko