I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have you kicked me out of here or said something insulting?

It starts with Santana, this fiery mess of a Latina brunette who sends his world spinning off its very axis. Before he started hanging around with her in eighth grade, he was actually somewhat of a good kid. She still got good grades after they hooked up, but he stopped being able to focus when he saw what she looked like without a shirt on. That was the first time he truly realized the power of the female form and how it had all the capability in the world to pretty much destroy him. That bitch.

So they start going out or hooking up or whatever you do when you're thirteen and you spend more time with a girl's tongue down your throat than actually talking to her. Sure, they still spend some time hanging out. Santana is like really good at video games and is into all the latest action movies that are coming out and doesn't mind that his room is always an utter mess. She curses like a sailor and his mom hates her. All in all, she is basically a teenage boy's dream come true.

Things get a little more serious when they get to high school because Santana is determined to be half of the school's most powerful couple. She decides that Puck will be her sidekick and convinces him to shave his head into a mohawk because it'll make him look like a "badass." He never tells anyone that it's her that gives him his trademark look or that she was the one to first introduce him to his favorite adjective. Some secrets are best kept that way.

Santana ends up joining the Cheerios and Puck finds his rightful place on the football team, even making the varsity squad - though he's not sure if it's because he's that good or because they're that bad. Opting for the former, he takes to wearing his letterman jacket and his haircut like a badge of honor that gives him the power to pretty much do whatever they want. He's best friends with Finn, which makes the two of them untouchable against the rest of the guys in school, and Quinn, Santana and Brittany quickly form an unstoppable alliance known as the Unholy Trinity. The five of them rule the school with one look - a sneer, an arched eyebrow, an innocent smile, whatever it takes to get the job done.

By then, Puck and Santana have settled into some semblance of a relationship. They had agreed upfront that there wouldn't be any real sexual monogamy between the two of them. He was too young and she was too hot to make that kind of a commitment. Instead, he looks the other way when she spends her special nights with Brittany and Santana doesn't mind that he makes a few extra bucks hooking up with cougars so long as some of it goes to benefit her. The only rule when they are together is that when it comes down to it, they belong to each other and no one else. They have some weird kind of exclusivity that no one can figure out but it works for them.

Okay, so it doesn't exactly work but it's functionally dysfunctional. They fight constantly, going hard at each other with the angriest and most hurtful of words. Santana endlessly attacks everything about him, which means he snaps back with a slew of slurs aimed in her direction. They trade insults like they hate each other, but the lucky few on the inside know it all comes in some weird twisted kind of love. Though they never see it for themselves, they occasionally will see the soft smile Santana has when she affectionately calls Puck an asshole or the way he strokes the little patch of skin between her index finger and thumb when they fight at a party.

"Look, Puckerman," Santana spat one day at lunch. Her hand was poised on her jutted hip, and she had center stage for all the school to hear. She could see Quinn and Britt waiting for her out of the corner of her eye and a blur of Rachel Berry as she scampered by in fear. "I don't know if you've lost brain cells when the blade got too close cutting that stupid haircut into your huge gourd, but you better figure out a way to make this limo thing happen. I am not going to the spring dance in your mother's Volvo."

Puck didn't even bother looking up from his burger as he rolled his eyes. "You'll go to the dance in the backseat of that Volvo and you'll like it, Satan," he told her evenly. He didn't need to raise his voice to get his point across. She knew the dangerous look in his eyes and liked it even better. "You're lucky that I'll even look your way, let alone consider hooking up with you."

"Oh, I'm lucky?" she asked rhetorically before muttering a few choice words in Spanish beneath her breath. "You do realize how lucky you are to get a chance to get with me, right? If it wasn't for me, you'd probably be hooking up with one of those losers in Glee." Puck's eyes darted over to where Rachel was sitting with the stuttering Asian girl and pasty gay kid. Santana smirked and ran her hands down her sides suggestively. "A limo or no go."

He laughed humorlessly and shook his head. She liked to pretend that she ran the show, but like Puck, she was an insecure little brat with daddy issues too. She needed the approval of a guy nearly as badly as he needed the comfort and power of possessing her. "No go then," he shrugged before standing up. He walked over to the window to dump his tray and then stalked back across the cafeteria. "Good luck finding someone who's willing to put up with your drama, Lopez. Ladies, if you're willing, I'm available."

With the waggle of his eyebrows, Puck strutted out of the cafeteria and down the hall. He knew that she would be right behind him, and moments later, he could hear the familiar echo of her white tennis shoes squeaking on the floor. Forty-seven seconds later, he had her pressed against the door of the janitor's closet and his hand halfway up her skirt.

She's quiet afterward, her face buried in his chest. "Sorry about that." That was the thing about Santana, she'd always apologize later and almost always mean it.

"It's okay," he murmured into her neck as he stroked her hair lazily. She was almost vulnerable like this, and though he would never admit it, it was actually his favorite part of her. Even more than when he was buried in her to the hilt, this was the Santana that he was really sure still wanted to be with him. "What happened this time?"

Santana slowly pulled away and looked up at her boyfriend. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear sweetly. "I got into a fight with Brittany," she admitted. It usually came back to the lovably air-headed blonde. "I guess she's been hanging out - hooking up - with Chang, and she thinks it's cheating again. I keep trying to tell her that it's not because, you know, different equipment and all. She just doesn't seem to get it."

Puck had always known that she liked girls. He even went as far as to suspect that she actually liked them more than she liked guys. However, it was hard to put a label on Santana because it could have just as easily been about the individual. Maybe she didn't love girls, maybe she just loved Brittany. Maybe she didn't want all guys, maybe she just wanted Puck. Either way was fine with him as long as she was happy and he was still getting some on the regular. It might have seemed crass but it was genuine. He actually cared about her no matter who she turned out to love in the end. He only saw her and not the lesbian that she might or might not be.

"She's into Chang right now because it's new. Britt's a good girl, she's just trying to do the right thing," he told her. "But you know once she has settled into it, she'll come back to you. She always does, San. You're her girl just like you're mine."

"Your girl, huh?" she smirked. "God, you're a pussy."

He just had to laugh then as he pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. "Probably so but I know you won't tell anyone," he teased her. Finn might be his bro, but Santana was probably his best friend. She got things about him that he couldn't explain, things he didn't even really want to admit. "Don't worry about her so much, she'll come around. And until then, I'll cool it with the older ladies and just stick close to you, yeah? I'll pretend the doting boyfriend who is trying very hard in vain to get back into your good graces."

"So that means I get the limo?"

"You get the limo," he confirmed with a laugh. "Fuck, I am a pussy. Thanks a lot, San, you're totally going to destroy my rep."

"A rep I helped build," she reminded him. He watched her as she put herself back together. Once she had straightened her skirt and pulled her hair back in the trademark deathly tight ponytail, she slipped her bitch mask back on and allowed the harshness to come back into her voice. "Later, loser."

"You got it, bitch," he shot back, smacking her lightly on the ass before slipping out of the closet.

He didn't bother looking over his shoulder as he sauntered down the hallway toward the nurses' office instead of heading to his sixth hour math class. He hadn't told Santana that she'd actually had the limo the entire time and that he'd already given Finn his portion so they could triple date with Quinn, Brittany and Mike. For now, he understood that it was important to her that she had won, and as her boyfriend, best friend, whatever, it was his job to give it to her. They might not be conventional and they definitely wouldn't last but Santana needed him as much as he needed her. For a guy like Puck, that was pretty damn hard to walk away from. He could only pray that she wouldn't leave him.