Author: Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner PM
Batman's doing drugs! Het.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Crime - Bruce W./Batman & Bruce W./Batman - Words: 865 - Published: 01-21-13 - Status: Complete - id: 8932686
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: "Secret Grass"
Author: Pirate Turner
Summary: Batman's doing drugs!
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: 244. That's the number of stories that were sitting on my hard drive collecting dust because I lack the energy and time to take care of them as I once did. My betaing pattern has always been to write, then type up if written on paper, the story, read it aloud to my beloved Jack and our children, editing as I go, and then finally format and post. Sadly, this part is simply taking too much of my time and energy, and my beloved Jack and I have too little time together in person these days to be able to keep up with my stories. So what to do? Give up writing? I actually considered it for a while, tried to make excuses to myself other than the large number of stories collecting cyber dust on my computer, as to why I lacked the energy and Muse to write new tales. And then, with the turn of the new year, I decided to stop running and face the problem. The problem is, quite frankly, that once one gets so bogged down in formatting and editing that writing is no longer a pleasure but the actual posting of those writings becomes a hassle and - egad! - work, it's time to cut something out, and that will never be the writing process. So, in short, yes, there will be mistakes in this tale. Yes, it's missing about half of the header information I usually include. But I wrote it for pleasure and am posting it in hopes of sharing that pleasure with others. Do with it as you will.
"Who did WHAT?!" Everybody in the comm link was surprised that the Martian Manhunter was who bellowed the words circling through all their shocked minds.
"Batman's doing drugs," Flash repeated with uncharacteristic slowness.
"How can that be?" puzzled Superman aloud. The other interlinked members of the Justice League of America were quiet, but they all knew they were thinking the same thing. Batman was one of their most honorable members; he was more steadfastly loyal to doing right than Superman was to his blue tights and red cape. The mere notion that the great Batman would be the one amongst their remaining number to fall first was unthinkable, and yet, it had happened.
"Are you sure?" Wonder Woman questioned.
"His eyes were red. His speech was slurred."
"He could have been drunk," Hawkgirl offered.
"I saw him smoking."
"It doesn't matter."
"Wonder Woman's right," Superman stated firmly. "What matters is that he's doing it, and it has to stop."
An hour later, the entire team converged on Wayne Manor. Alfred let them in, sniffing disdainfully; his disapproval of and disdain for his Master's recent activities were clear from the moment he opened the door. He showed them to Master Wayne's bedroom, then left them alone.
Bruce's eyes were still bloodshot when he opened the door. His black hair was disheveled, and his boxers barely hanging on his hips. Yet he still managed to look deadly furious at the interruption. "Wuzzit meanin' o' dis?"
"I believe you know why we're here," Wally started.
"What's wrong with you, Bruce?" Diana asked softly. She neither moved away from Kendra or looked at her as she touched her shoulder gently.
"What's wrong wid me," Bruce slurred, eyes flashing fiercely, "is I take one night off, and I wake up to all o' you at my bedroom door. ALFRED!"
"Leave the butler out of this."
"What are you going to do? Throw us out?"
"Bruce, I'm worried about you."
"Huh, guys," Clark, who had turned his X-ray vision onto their questionable team mate's bedroom, began to warn them of the truth but didn't manage to finish his statement before a beautiful brunette prowled forward and draped her barely clad body over Bruce's naked torso. "Brrruce," she purred, "I thought you said your team mates would leave us alone?"
"I thought they'd have the decency to do so, Selina. I'm sorry."
Only Diana's eyes zeroed in on the joint the woman held. She leaned forward and sniffed it.
"HEY!" Selina screeched, snatching away from her and yet keeping a possessive grip on her boyfriend. "GET YOUR OWN CATNIP!" She pulled Bruce back into his bedroom and slammed the door in all their faces.
"CATNIP?!" the team bellowed together.
Bruce sighed. He was never going to live this one down! But then he smiled and turned back to his love. It was worth it to be in her arms. Purring, Selina tossed the joint away and wrapped herself around Bruce. Her passionate kiss reminded him anything was worth paying to keep her.