|Save the Writer!
Author: Der Blaue Wolf PM
When the story's writer is kidnapped by nefarious Yaoi fangirls, Miku and co. set out to save him before all of his stories are corrupted into yaoi and Kaito has to *censored* Len. Madness and hilarity ensue, of course. A parody of all things FanFiction, on the internet, and of stories in general. Rewrite of part 1 of the 'Adventures of the Writer.'Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Miku H. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,978 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 04-09-13 - Published: 01-22-13 - id: 8935674
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Save the Writer! Ch5
Kaito: "Yaoi fangirls?!"
Yaoi Fangirl Fighter: "YES! We have come to stop you in your TRACKs! You shall not stop the YAOI!"
Kaito: "That sentence contained far too many exclamation marks and capital letters."
Yaoi Fangirl Wizard: "That's true, Yaoi fangirl fighter, you don't need to emphasise things so much."
YFF: "Oh SHUT UP!"
Yaoi Fangirl Rogue: "Guys, maybe we should actually, I dunno, fight these guys."
Yaoi Fangirl Cleric: "Yeah, YFF, do you think you could swallow your annoying shouting for three seconds?"
Yff: "Well I'm sorry, just 'cause I took 'shout loudly' as one of my ridiculous number of FEATS! I was only trying to emulate Dlannor A. KNOX! The exclamation marks are an unfortunate EXTRA!"
YFW: "Anyway, maybe we should kill these gu..." Turns to attack the vocaloids and company, only to discover they have disappeared.
Kaito: "Good thing they were unobservant, and let us escape into the lift."
The group hear a banging, and the lift stops. The doors open to reveal the yaoi fangirls.
Kaito: "What the... how did you catch up?"
YFW: "Dimension Door, it's a handy spell, and by the way, we're in rounds."
Meiko: "Any idea how to beat these guys Lumi?"
Lumi: "Uh... well, I could always... I know!" A look of concentration passes over his face, then a blindingly bright light fills the area.
In 4chan, the pink light around Luka fades away, revealing her now in a black kimono, with twin knives clutched in her hands.
Ninja Luka: "Now this is kinda cool!"
Miku: "Great, but in that transformation sequence, I killed the troll."
Luka: "What?! How?"
Miku: "It turns out that the weak point of the trolls is, unsurprisingly, the head, or face, whatever you want to call it."
Luka: "Well... that was a let-down."
Miku: "I wouldn't worry, after all..." A flurry of black text flows all around the message board, "We'll have plenty to deal with. Here comes Anonymous!"
The text takes the forms of countless trolls, each growing a trollface as they reach their full height. They begin their advance on the two figures standing in the centre.
Miku: "Luka, you ready?"
Luka: "If I'm not, what happens?"
Miku: "I would say hit alt and f4, but I don't think that'll work somehow."
Luka: "To me, it sounds like a briliant idea."
Miku: "Yeah, but that'd prevent us from having a single decent action scene any time soon."
Luka: "Fair enough, well, let's go!"
The pair leap into action against the trolls.
Len: "God, Rin, did you really have to leap on me as soon as the scene shifted away. Kaito and Meiko are the ones on the h-site."
Rin: "I just wanted to play with my little brother!"
*Ahem* Rin, can you please stop randomly *censored*ing with Len? It slows the story down with sex jokes.
Rin: "Don't you mean *censored* jokes?"
Er... no. *Censored* has far worse connotations than just sex.
Rin: "Right... maybe we should leave this here."
That's what Len said, before you forced him to...
Rin: "I SAID, maybe we should leave this here!"
Right, right, let's get on with the story then.
Len: "About time."
The pair continue adventuring through the server, looking for the key.
Rin: "He~re key, key, key! He~re key, key, key!"
Len: "Sis, I don't think that'll work somehow."
Rin: "Who's the one that got us this far with the signs?"
Len: Mumbling barely audibly, "Well I suppose it was you."
Rin: "Right, so we do things my way! He~re key, key, key! He~re key, key, key!"
Len: "Why me? Why? Why is it I who is stuck with a sister who doesn't realize that keys are non-sentient?"
Key of Anime and Gaming: "Who said we all were?"
Len: "You are f***ing kidding me."
The key, a floating blob of pixels, forms into the shape of a young woman.
Key: "Well hello there young shota, it's nice to meet you."
Len: Noticing Rin's rising fury, "Er... hello."
Key: "Oh~ squee! You're so cute!"
Rin: "You're not a yaoi fangirl are you?"
Key: "No, I'm just a shotacon, and your brother here is a shotacon."
Len: "Why do the Japanese have to use the same word to mean two different things?"
Key: "Actually, that's an American and English thing, the Japanese only used to use it for a person with a fetish."
Rin: "Also, why are you attacking Japan, given that we are Japanese?"
Len: "Er... well..."
Key: "Hm... you aren't so bad young lady."
Rin: "You neither."
The pair high-five.
Key's thoughts: 'Now I've garnered her trust, I can make my move on the cute guy without her suspecting, and then...'
Len: "Rin, why is she just standing there doing nothing?"
Rin: "She's doing a Nale... I mean having an inner monologue, give her a moment."
Luka throws stars through several trollfaces, while Miku sends a single blast straight through a long line. The two land, panting heavily.
Miku: "I make that my 57th."
Luka: "I'm on 54."
Miku: "Shit, how many more of these things are there?"
Luka: Counts quickly, "Er... I lost count at two-hundred and something, and it's increasing."
Misty: Appearing out of a mysterious black hole, which then disappears as soon as he's out of it, "Don't worry, I'm here to help!"
Miku: "How the hell did you get here?!"
Misty: "I travelled through a plot-hole. There are so many at the moment, it's easy to get just about anywhere within Wolfie's story verse."
Miku: "That's all very nice, but how are you planning to help us."
Misty: "Like this." A laptop appears in front of him.
Miku: "That's... a writer's laptop?"
Misty: "Precisely. Now, unfortunately, this being Wolfie's story-verse, I only have a few permissions. But I can certainly make this easier for you." Starts typing furiously.
Miku: "This'd better work." Leaps into the air again, the gun on her arm reforming into a sword.
Misty: Typing so fast his fingers are a blur, "Give her insane speed, grant her weapon an energy pulse to release when swung. Grant her god-like reactions... and... ENTER!"
Miku becomes a blur as Misty hits the enter key. The blur of teal flies around the area, and trolls collapse left right and centre, as pulses of energy, the same shade as the blur, wipe through dozens of trolls at once. Soon, there is only one left, fleeing for the escape button. But Miku lands on his shoulder, the gun returned to its original structure.
Miku: "Troll this." She fires at point blank. The troll explodes in a suitable final-enemy-from-a-movie style.
Misty: "Phew... I never knew I could type that fast." His laptop starts to smoke, "Oh shit."
The laptop explodes, the pieces scattering across the area.
Miku: "Looks like we're out of writer-aided assistance. But how did you write inside Wolfie's story-zone?"
Misty: "Ah, well I have editor permissions. I sometimes proof-read his stuff."
Miku: "Right... well it looks like you need a new laptop."
Misty: "Yeah, I'll go get one then." Jumps through another plot-hole.
Luka: "Well, at least there aren't any more of..."
A loud crashing sounds behind them.
Luka: "...them... Seriously, timing people, timing!"
Miku: "Er... At the risk of sounding cliché... Luka, look behind you."
Luka turns, and see a massive construct of text, towering miles over them. At the very top, they can just make out a trollface.
Wolfie: "Ah, another cliffy."
Derrick: "You gave Misty editorial permissions?"
Wolfie: "Well normally, I can just overwrite anything he does, but someone had to go and steal my laptop."
Derrick: "Well I still haven't managed to hack into it yet. Pain in the ass this security stuff, and I though that virus I sent you would take you down completely."
Wolfie: "Yeah, well you evidently failed completely."
Derrick: "Shut up!"
Wolfie: "Ah well, no point trying to reason with him."