|Situation Normal All Fouled Up
Author: JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls PM
Kate Todd and Jane Rizzoli meet up at a lesbian bar where one of them is under-cover.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Kate T. & J. Rizzoli - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,798 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 05-23-13 - Published: 02-13-13 - id: 9008208
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It had been a while since Kate had found herself praying to God so fervently for something as she did at her table in the Merch: please, God, let us get something out of this op, so I won't have withstood it all for nothing!
Not that Kate had had any moral oppositions to going undercover in a lesbian bar; it was simply a matter of missed expectations. She had (somewhat naively) thought women would, on the whole, be —well—better behaved, classier, than men in general. Kate's boyfriends had only ever been complete gentlemen, but several guys she'd been on dates with had left much to be desired—be they, in Gibbs' words, pigs or dirtbags. She had assumed women would be gentler, sweeter, more subtle. Less eager to get instantly in her pants.
She had not expected Donna and Liz to play footsie, for Jocy to keep putting hand on her knee, or for Katie to spend ten straight minutes discussing her car. Sally kept pushing to see her tattoo. And all Miranda (or was it Marianne?) wanted to do was drool at her while Kate tried to fish around for something to say. She didn't know why she couldn't just get her head in the game and act like this pseudo-speed-dating was normal for her, pretend she really wanted to be at this club. The forwardness of these women was throwing her off, making her question herself, and that made her vastly uncomfortable.
What really wasn't helping was the fact that so many of her co-workers were there to witness it all. After each woman eventually left Kate's table, Abby would swing by and pick up their abandoned glass or bottle, and Kate avoided eye contact. She was thankful for the low lighting in the place, which did an excellent job of hiding her blush.
Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do about Tony, who kept up a running commentary between breaks, buzzing in her ear like the world's sleaziest fly.
"Kate, lean forward a bit, I think she's hiding something in that blouse—"
"Good call turning that one down, Kate; he was being more flirty with Abby than she was with you. The nerve."
"Whoa! Yeah, dodged a bullet there. Any woman who orders a drink called 'The Flaming Pussy' is probably too much for you to handle, Sister Todd."
"Nose ring. Very hot!"
His raucous laughter nearly broke her earpiece when a woman got up to leave, but not before drunkenly sticking a napkin with her number on it down Kate's shirt. "Ohhh! You would shoot a round through a guy's head if he ever tried that with you!"
"Talking from experience, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked quietly.
"What? No, boss. That's disgusting. I can't believe you would even insinuate such a thing."
"Maybe I'm not cut out for this," Kate groaned into her hands.
"Aw, don't feel bad about your dowdy outfit," Tony said. "Think of Audrey Hepburn in The Children's Hour. Total frumpy dresser, and Shirley MacLaine fell for her anyway!"
"Don't listen to DiNozzo, you're doing fine," Gibbs said in his typically dispassionate voice.
"I'm a spaz and I'm acting all…prudish!" Kate muttered. "It's weird."
Gibbs automatically responded, "It's cute." At the (equally) flat, dispassionate compliment, Kate furrowed her brow and Tony frowned at his boss. Gibbs cleared his throat and clarified heavily, "It's… endearing. You profiled the woman we're looking for, Kate. You know she wants to be the guy. In charge, confident. Let her."
Before Kate could reply with something about gender stereotyping, Abby came by to pik up the last woman's drink. "Geez, Kate, you're going through 'em like a sailor on leave!"
"Not you too, Abs!" Kate moaned, ignoring the impish look on her friend's face. "I'm about ready to call it."
"Not your call to make," Gibbs reminded her.
"I wouldn't go yet, anyway," Abby advised, straightening up and winking. "3:00, Kate. Total stud. She's been checking you out practically since she got here."
Raising her eyebrows, Kate looked around as Abby walked off, and she instantly saw who Abby had been talking about.
She was tall, and Kate could tell it wasn't just from the black heeled boots she was wearing. Dark, loose curls tumbled over her shoulders, both held up straight even as she leaned against the bar. One hand was stuck securely in the pocket of her collar-less leather jacket, the other resting at the bar, her fingers tapping a spot where a beer might just have been. And those eyes, dark and utterly serious, were most definitely fixed directly on Agent Todd. Kate dimly wondered if there was any way Gibbs or Tony might have noticed her breathing had stopped.
"Hot. Damn!" Tony whispered. "That woman's got a lady boner for you bigger than th—ow!" A head slap cut him off prematurely, but he didn't entirely drop it: "She's gonna go to you, Kate. Sit tight. Commence swagger in three… two… one…"
Tony's timing was ever-so-slightly off, but when the womanfinally decided to head over to Kate's table, "swagger" did seem to be the only appropriate verb to use. Her fingers trailed along the top of the chair opposite Kate, and she asked, "This seat taken?"
Kate's breath caught again at the huskiness of this woman's voice (which Tony would later qualify as "the secret lovechild of Lauren Bacall and Kathleen Turner's dulcet tones). "Please," she said, gesturing to the chair.
The woman smiled and set herself down. "Cool. I was almost afraid to join in here, you know."
"This table's been like a game of musical chairs, I couldn't help noticing."
"Hey, don't sweat it. I like a woman who doesn't waste time with things she knows she doesn't want. But you can't blame these ladies for trying, right?"
"I can't?" Dear Lord…why is she turning me into a moron?
The woman chuckled lightly. "Hey, what's your name?"
She smiled. "Wow, that's… sorry, I don't mean for this to sound like a line, but that's a really beautiful name."
And there was something about her tone that made Kate feel like it was genuinely intended to be a compliment, a sincere one. Not a line. "I usually do go by Kate, though."
"Hey, that works, too. Short and sweet, like mine. I'm Jane."
"Jane, nice to meet you." Seeing Abby approach their table, Kate asked, "Care for a drink?"
"Thanks, I've had enough to get brave," Jane said, waving Abby on. "The next stage is generally weeping, which wouldn't be pretty, trust me." She blinked and her smile softened a bit as Kate laughed a little awkwardly (DiNozzo had just told her she needed to find another way to get some of Jane's DNA). She leaned forward and pointed at Kate. "Are we—have we met before, though?"
"Oh, come on!" Kate laughed. "Are you sure that wasn't a line?"
"No, I'm serious!" Jane chuckled, falling back in her chair again. "You, um, you look a lot like someone I know. I was just wondering if maybe you were like, a distant relative of hers or something, somebody I might've met through her at some point."
"I haven't got any family in the area. I'm glad you put it that way, though. I've already been told twice that I look like that girl who was killed around here the other day."
Jane's face fell, and her eyes dropped to the table. "Guess her picture's all over the news, huh? Still," she said, lifting her gaze again and trying to crack a grin at Kate. "What a great way to get into your good graces, I bet! 'Hey, you look like that murdered marine! Wanna get down on my starboard side?'"
"Oh, God, I've been spared that so far," Kate said, laughing again.
"Really, no sailor-themed pick-up lines yet? Fleet week's killin' it all over town," Jane said. "Just the other day I had a guy proposition my friend by saying 'you can petty my officer any day.'"
Gibbs' voiced buzzed in Kate's ear: "No, DiNozzo."
"You got any good ones yourself?" Kate asked.
"Nah," Jane chuckled. "I don't know the navy well enough to come up with anything really clever. Or stupid, even. The only title I've ever had was 'wellness captain' one week at work, when we were doing this ridiculous health and wellness regimen thing for the department."
"Sounds impressive!" Kate snickered.
"Oh, shut up."
"Did anyone actually mind you?"
"Of course they did! I'd kick their sorry butts if they hadn't." That got Kate laughing again, and Jane felt buzzed by the emboldening sound. God, she's gorgeous. "Hey, if I can't interest you in a drink, would you like to dance?"
She bit her lip. "Dance? Really?"
Putting on an official-sounding tone, Jane sat straight with her elbow on the table and quipped, "As your wellness captain, I insist."
Kate pressed her lips tightly together, evaluating Jane. This was the most comfortable she'd felt all night, and the most intrigued, as well. She half-forgot she was here undercover, and probably would have forgotten entirely if it hadn't been for Gibbs and DiNozzo in her ear.
"Far be it for me to disobey a direct order," she said, keeping her tone low. "Would you mind if I went to go freshen up first?"
Jane might've feared that was an excuse to run off if it wasn't for the way Kate's hand was grazing her knee under the table. And she'd seen that expression before, with the lip-biting and raised eyebrows of someone in anxious excitement.
"Go ahead," Jane murmured. "I'll be here."
It was a quick walk to the club's grimy bathroom, and Kate was grateful to see that for the moment, it was un-occupied. She pulled the tiny camera off of her headband and held it up so that it faced her. "Gibbs. I can't do this with DiNozzo in my ear."
"Hey!" Tony protested. "I'm just doing my job!"
"You've been a total perv all night, Tony!"
"I'm the perv?! I'm not the one who's been trying to feel you up!"
"Kate's got a job to do, too, DiNozzo. If she feels more comfortable taking this one alone, we'll have to trust her on it."
"But boss, her back-up!"
"Abby'll still be in the loop with us. She can keep us informed if anything seems…"
"Hinky?" Abby suggested, her voice crackling through.
"Exactly. Well? Kate? What're you waiting for? Get back out there. Do what you have to."
Kate didn't wait for him to change his mind, and she delicately un-looped the camera and placed it in her skirt pocket. The microphone followed, and she did a quick touch-up in front of the mirror before heading back out into the club. Jane was resting against the wall nearby, and smiled when Kate walked over to her. Jane reached for her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. The song had a fast beat and lyrics that were only barely discernible; Kate was only able to pull out the occasional "pussy," "tits," and a chorus that mostly seemed to consist of the word "ass."
They danced their way through a few songs, getting progressively closer with each one. Jane had started at a respectful distance, though close enough that onlookers would be able to tell the two of them were together. She kept expecting Kate to leave, or want to sit down, or at least dance with somebody else. But contrarily, Kate was the one who kept dancing closer, who kept looking at her like she was the only other woman in the room. Maybe it was inevitable that they would end up so close, Kate's arms lifted around Jane's neck and Jane grinding into her from behind.
Kate jumped when she felt something vibrate against her.
"Oh God, it's just my phone, I swear!" Jane hurriedly said, whipping the offending article out of her pocket. She would have to be on call tonight. "Aw, crap," she muttered. "Kate, I've gotta go."
"Is everything all right?" Kate asked breathlessly.
Jane waved her phone and stuck it back in her pocket. "If it's not, it will be," she said grimly.
"Well—wait," Kate said, hurrying after Jane as she parted her way through the crowd of dancing bodies. "Jane, hold on!"
"I'll look you up," Jane said once she'd reached the door, turning to face Kate. "Caitlin…"
"Kate Todd," Jane murmured, sticking her index finger under Kate's chin and tilting it upwards. "I'll look you up."
With that, she smoothly slid one hand into Kate's hair and placed the other one at her hip, pulling the woman close and leaving a long kiss at her neck. And she felt it, she actually felt Kate's knees buckle, her stance loosen up as her own arms weakly went around Jane's body to pull her closer. Jane had meant to keep it brief, but this response made that difficult, and she took a couple steps to push Kate fully against the wall, licking this spot on her neck.
"Oh—G…" Kate wasn't even aware the sounds had escaped her at all as Jane left another wet kiss on her neck before pulling away.
"I won't forget, I promise," she husked. And on that note, she promptly left.
It took a few moments for Kate to realize how fast her heartbeat had been going and that her mouth had been hanging open slightly. When she was finally able to remember she had a job to be doing, she made her way slowly back to the bar, where Abby was standing and grinning cheekily at her.
"Well that was hot," she observed.
"Can we go to the van?" Kate asked, leaning in to speak directly in Abby's ear. "I need you to swab my neck."