|Mind in the Gutter
Author: HamsterCastiel PM
Sam and Dean spend the night in the forest while hunting for the Wendigo. Feelings get spoked off, some surprising news found out and brotherly teasing is also involved.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Dean W. & Sam W. - Words: 7,652 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 02-25-13 - Status: Complete - id: 9046600
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dean sat down on his sleeping back, pulling his shoe off and rolling the rock out from the inside, "Of course," He muttered, "I probably have a rock under my sleeping bag too." He looked over at Sam, "Did you check the ground before we set this thing up?"
"I made sure there were no ant nest underneath if you mean that." Sam stated pulling the jumper over his head and tossed it in the corner. "Small rocks just have to do. You try to see in just firelight where to put your tent."
Dean frowned and pulled his jacket off, the flannel following afterwards, "I'm going to have a rock the size of a walnut under my back all night, just like last time," He muttered, putting the knife under his pillow and laying back to stare at the roof of the tent.
"And you call me the princess." Sam said sounding amused, kicking his own shoes away before laying down in his sleeping bag. He reached out, mimicing his brothers actions and slid the knife under his pillow, watching the shadows dance across the tent.
Dean rolled his eyes, but smiled to himself, "You try sleeping with a rock under your back, no matter how small, the thing feels like you're laying on an anvil," He rolls onto his side, facing Sam, "I hate camping."
"It´s not that bad." Sam chuckled turning his head to look at Dean. "It´s actually kinda nice. It even beats some of the hotels we´ve been in."
"I guess that's right," The older Winchester agreed, "Only they didn't have Wendigos wondering around outside, did they? We're lucky they can't get into salt circles."
Sam nodded in agreement, brushing hair away from his face. "Do you think it´ll appear tonight?"
"I hope so," Dean grumbled shifting to get more comfortable, "I don't want to have to stay out here another night."
Sam just chuckled, staring up at the shadows. "I like it. Reminds me of the camping trips we did when we were younger. Or when I was in the college."
Dean frowned, thinking back and then he scoffed, "Makes me hate camping even more."
"Oh come on." Sam rolled his eyes. "We´ve gone through this already. I was there, that´s it. I´m back now."
"It's not just that," Dean argued and closed his eyes, "It's not nearly that simple."
"Then what?" Sam asked confused. "Cause I´m telling you man you´re not easy to read."
"It doesn't matter," Dean said, further confirming his brother's claim, "It'll be over in the morning anyways."
Sam sighed, pushing himself up to lean against his knees. "Can we just...I don't know, enjoy the small peace of moment we have and not start a war? Not against me, or the poor rocks underneath us."
The older Winchester frowned, eyebrows narrowing, "I'm not trying to start anything. I'm trying to stop it from happening, Sammy." He nearly choked on the last word, closing his eyes and turning his back towards the inside of the tent.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked turning to glance at his older brother again. "You´re hiding something."
"It's nothing, Sam," Dean argued, shoulders rising, "Go to sleep."
"No. Dean, come on." Sam turned fully to Dean, facing him varily. "What is it?"
Dean sighed and rolled onto his back, "It's..." He gave in, figuring Sam wouldn't leave him alone about it until he confessed something, but it didn't have to be everything, "It's just being out here, and remembering dad and camping with you. and I don't know, but it's different out here. It's different than motels and cheap homes, it... Something. I can't stand being out here with you... Alone."
Sam blinked confused, tilting his head. "You...don't want to be with me alone here? Why?" He grew anxious, this was something Dean didn't usually say. Dean would be the one insisting them to stay together, no matter what. Not to push him away, not even after he had gone to the college.
Dean sighed again, of course it wasn't enough, shit, "It's not a bad thing..." He admitted, "I'd be out here all the time... Honestly... I just... I can't stand it."
"Maybe I should sleep outside then." Sam murmured, heart clenching in his chest. "Someone has to keep an eye on the fire after all."
Dean's felt the sting of Sam's words, but he offered what he could, "Whatever you want, Sammy," He gave, sighing heavily and his mouth tasted bitter suddenly, "I told you to leave it alone."
Sam swallowed, grabbing his sleeping bag and opened the zipper sliding out of the tent. The fire was cracking in the silent night, not even wind was blowing at the moment and Sam wanted to laugh at the irony, feeling like he just wanted to run out and scream. He felt sick, sitting beside the fire and stared at the heart of it, orange painted across his face and body.
He hadn't expected to everything to be suddenly alright, but for Dean to hint that he couldn't even stand him in the same place..it hurt. Why did he bother to come fetch him in first place, if he already regretted it?
Dean frowned and cursed at himself, if he could, he'd kick his own ass, he knew he shouldn't have said a thing. Sam just always had to keep on digging under his skin. And it's not like he could just say 'I hate being out here around you because I want to touch you...' How seriously messed up that sounded... Honestly, every time he was around things like this, he felt the longing pull to be near his brother, just like they use to be on camping trips, side by side, sharing the same sleepingbag, curled up together for warmth. It was the only stupid thing he could think of.
Outside Sam curled against himself, a gentle breeze washing over him ocassionally. This was messed up. He had hoped...he wasn't sure when it was he first noticed that he had not so brotherly feelings towards Dean...oh, that was a lie. That was part of the reason he had left. To get away, grow out of it. And the moment Dean stepped in his house that night, more manly than ever, it all came crashing down. How fucked up was that? He snapped his head up, the small rustling sound alerting him and he grabbed the gun, standing up. He didn't know if Dean was awake or not and decided not to wake him up. It could be a rabbit after all. He stepped around the fire, stopping before the salt around them and peered in the darkness.
Dean blinked when he heard to movement outside and he grabbed his gun at once, already loaded with rocksalt, and peered out into the night, the barrel of his gun first, "Sam?" He hissed.
Sam turned around, walking back to the tent entrance. "Not sure if it´s the Vendigo or just a rabbit. Don't hear anything anymore."
The older Winchester looked out at the black shine of the Impala, grateful he put a salt circle around his baby, just in case, "Get inside, Sam. Dammit."
"I like it here. Like you said, salt protects us." Sam said, still hesistant of what Dean had said and sat beside the fire, throwing more wood in it.
"Get in the damn tent, Sammy," Dean argued, glancing nervously out into the dark before adding, "Please."
Sam looked up at Dean, following his eyesight and sighed standing up. "Fine." This was the more protective side of Dean he had grown used to knowing. It was always better than the piss of drunk brother he sometimes was.
Dean swore he saw something run fast in the distance, passed his vision in a second and he swallowed. He didn't often see things, but the fire light bouncing off the Impala could do all sorts of things, "I should put this out," He said, motioning to itthe fireplace, "You warm enough without it?"
"I think so." Sam nodded, crawling back inside the tent and curled up in his sleeping bag.
Dean spread salt over the flames, watching them slowly die down before he climbed back into the tent and deposited his gun under the pillow.
"It was probably just an animal." Sam murmured hands under his pillow. Now that the flames had died, he could barely make out the outlines of his brother.
"I saw somethin' else I think," Dean admitted, "Taller, nearly five feet or more, maybe crouched, run by," He knew he sounded like a dumbass, but he trusted his gut judgement better than anything, it's what kept him alive, "I don't know. I'm not sure."
Sam nodded. "We´re safe here, and keep an ear out for any other movements."
Dean swallowed as he laid back down, "I didn't mean to upset you... About what I said... Earlier... Sammy."
Sam sighed, turning to look where he heard Dean's voice. "I know..I´m sorry I took it so personally...it´s just..you never say things like that.."
"I didn't really want to," Dean offered, he had to add something more to make Sam really understand that he meant it in a good way, "I just hate being reminded of... How much these things matter. How much you matter. It's in my face all the time, day in and day out. Being out here it's just... Stronger. And I can't really ignore it. Drive me crazy sometimes."
"Stronger What? The urge to keep me safe?" Sam asked and shuddered, the first breezes of night cold hitting him now that the fire had died.
"Everything," Dean tried to explain, "Everything I ever feel about you it just more out here."
Sam blinked surprised, a small hope rising in his chest that he tried to smother down immediately, scolding himself. "Everything? Dean.."
Dean curled in his sleeping bag, swallowing nervously, "I don't know how else more to explain it, Sammy. Not without making the both of us really uncomfortable."
"Please. Try." Sam urged him, curling a little to himself teeth clattering together. The night seemed to be surprisingly cold without fire.
"Just bein' out here," Dean muttered, struggling to hide the chill from his voice, "Reminds me of how close we use to be out here. How much I miss that sometimes. Out here it's harder to avoid thinkin' like that, you know? When we would sleep in the same bag and... I don't know... There's more I guess."
Sam nodded slowly, his skin risen up on goosebumbs. "I know what you mean. I remember that one time we were camping on our backyard...I saw nightmares and started crying, and you would tuck me up under your chin and hold me until I fell asleep again." Sam smiled at the memory.
Dean grinned wide, feeling his chest twist at the memory, "Before you were taller than me. I think I held you more than mom or dad ever did, growing up. Half the time I couldn't keep my hands off you..." He stopped, grateful that in the darkness Sam couldn't see the current look on his face, "I always wanted to hold you," He explained, "always wanted to be the one taking care of you. Dad just left it up to me."
"I´m partly thankful he did." Sam admitted quietly. "If he hadn't been away so much, we probably wouldn't have grown so close." Sam turned on his side, facing Dean. "You always make me feel that I´m safe, no matter what´s the situation.
Dean stared at the dak shape of his brother, blinking and folding his arms around himself, "Most of the time... I wish we were still that close." He admits, unable to stop himself, "Closer. Some times..."
Sam let out a small sigh. "I...I know..I miss it too. The warmth, the safe feeling, just the feel." He rambled on, biting his lip.
Dean nodded to himself and mumbled, "Yeah, and I could touch you without feelin' like some kind of freak or somethin'. Without needing you to be mortally wounded or on your death bed..."
"Why would you feel like a freak?" Sam asked confused.
"Because it's not normal," Dean responded, "I can't hug you anytime I w-want, even if I really want to, even if you need it," He shivered, biting it back, "I can't wrap my arm around your shoulder, and can't touch your hands or kiss your bruises... Freaks do that."
"A lot of siblings hug when needed." Sam pointed out silently. "So it´d be alright." He found Dean's urge to keep him like that actually kind of adorable. "Kiss my bruises? Like the one I got when I fell from the tree?"
"Yeah, or when that stupid kid hit you when you were four, I'd only just turned my back for two seconds," Dean muttered, remembering things, "He's lucky all I did was kick him in the balls. I spent three weeks staring at the black eye."
Sam chuckled a little. "I was a troublemaker as a kid." He mused sounding amused. "Remember that time I ran away for the first time and actually jsut climbed in the treehouse and fell asleep there?"
"Gave me a heart attack," Dean argued, "I searched everywhere around for nearly five miles looking for you. Go lost twice myself."
"And then you nearly choked me when I walked back in and nearly cried that I was hungry.." Sam laughed lightly.
Dean chuckled, "Yeah... Some times I miss things like that..."
"Me too. to be young and naive and not know anything about all this." Sam sighed his voice wavering from the cold.
"I don't mind the monsters, I'd be fine with them if I..." He stopped himself, swallowing the words before they came out.
"If you...what?" Sam asked curiously, wanting to know.
"If I still had that," Dean reworded it, looking away, "If we were still like that, I guess."
Sam nodded slowly. "I know what you mean.." He sighed a little. "Can..." He swallowed, rubbing his arms. "This seems like a really cliche moment after everything we´ve talked about, but can I come closer? It´s fucking freezing here."
Dean chuckled and nodded, before realizing Sam proably couldn't see him at all, "Sure, Sammy. I can barely feel my feet, honest."
Sam sighed relieved, shuffling with his sleeping back until he was curled up against Dean, his head resting on the croock of his neck. "Thanks...much better..."
Dean stilled, heart stammering and he smiled, "Sure thing, Sammy," He said, feeling the warmth already spreading itself through him. Feeling his body nearly groan longingly.
Sam breathed in deeply, getting in the familiar smell of Dean, his heart making a leap in his chest. It felt nice, it has been years since they´ve been this close.
Dean had to force every single bone in his body not to and he still ended up leaning into Sam some and Sam made a content noise, breathing against Dean's neck. "Warm..."
The older Winchester felt everything inside of him harden at that breath, heart staggering as his eyes watered with need, "Yeah," He managed not to squeak.
Sam closed his eyes, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest, threathening to leap out soon. He was just torturing himself with this. His body ahced to just reach out and cry out to Dean, wanting to be held and loved and..well...it was just wrong.
Dean felt his brother's heart, nearly hearing it in his own ears and he closed his eyes.
"Dean...have you..ever wanted something so bad even though you know it´s wrong..?" Sam asked quietly, not able to take the silence anymore. He had to know.
The older Winchester opened his eyes sleepily, "Sure..."
"Really?" Sam asked surprised, then nodded. "Alright...how..do you deal with it..?"
"I ignore it, normally," He responds honestly, "It doesn't go away, but I ignore it, I guess." Dean sighed and shrugged, "What says it's wrong though? How do you determine that?"
"Everyone else I guess. If anyone else knew, they´d think I´m a sick person and even I think so." Sam admitted quietly. "It´s just not right..then again, nothing we do is right."
Dean frowned, thinking about it, he hadn't expected to go off on the meaningful tangent, but it came out anyways, "A lot of people say gay people are wrong. But it's not. They also use to say left-handers were wrong," He listed, "And black people were wrong... Women... Were wrong. If it feels right in your heart, if it's how you feel, Sam, it's how you feel. It's how you were made to feel. And how can that be wrong?"
"How many people fall in love with their brothers and think it's fucking right?" Sam snapped back, his eyes widening almost in comical manner as he realized just waht he had blurted out in mix of emotions and he scrambled up and away from Dean. "Oh..oh god..Dean, I´m sorry, I didn't mean to-" Sam was damn nearly sobbing, looking so much younger than he really was. He could see it already. How Dean would watch him disqusted, and they´d drive away even further. They couldn't be together like this anymore.
Dean sat up and turned to Sam, eyes wide as his chest clenched. God no. He blinked the water from his eyes and stared, "Sammy?"
"I´m sorry." Sam whimered, hand resting against his face. He felt cold, he was sure his heart had stopped and somehow torturously he was still alive. "I´m so sorry..oh god I´m such a freak."
Dean pulled the sleeping bag away and shifted carefully over to Sam, reaching out from him, able to see him sligthly better as their eyes had adjusted a bit, "Sammy."
"Don't touch me." Sam finally sobbed, tears falling from his eyes despite him trying to keep them away. "Don't...it´s not okay don't tell me it´s oaky, it´s not-" He was starting to panic, he knew the signs and he scrambled out of the tent, needing fresh air, feeling suffociated inside.
Dean stood up and walked after him, hands reaching for his brother, "Sam, Sam!" He was shouting, hands searching for purchase as he followed. "Sam, god dammit," Dean said angrily, "Just calm down for one second."
Sam flinched, hands falling on his sides in defeat, head hanging low as dry sobs wrenched through his body.
Dean's heart clenched as he stared up at his brother, as he forced the steps forward, fisting Sam's neck, fingers burying in the back of his hair as he pulled him down, forcing their lips together.
Sam's eyes widened, and for seconds he just stood there unmoving, not daring to move. His heart that had stopped, was now beating so fast he was afraid he´d get a heartattack. Finally his eyes slipped shut, and he responded the kiss carefully, hesistantelly testing the waters.
Dean kissed like he did everything else, roughly, forcing his way in and dominating. He kissed so hard he could taste the bitter copper in his mouth, teeth nearly clashing with Sam's as he pulled him down and groaned into his mouth.
Sam moaned helplessly, hands curling on Dean's hair to keep himself up and Dean close to him. He parted his lips eagerly, submitting while his brother devoured his mouth.
Dean stepped back without breaking this kiss, hands dropping to Sam's sides, heart nearly hammering it's beat into his throat, pounding in his ears as he moved them backwards towards the tent.
Sam followed, cracking his eye open so he could steer them in the right direction and they nearly fell through the opening and Dean staggered, but caught himself as he bent low in the tent, pulling Sam with him.
Sam lowered them on their sleepingbags, never breaking the kiss. He was afraid it´d all be a dream if he let go for even a one second.
Dean's hands ran up, over the tanktop, tracing the lines of the muscles underneath, groaning in his mouth as he laid down beside Sam, kissing still, furiously.
Sam whimpered quietly, pressing himself closer to Dean. He needed this, wanted to know it really was alright.
The older Winchester cupped Sam's cheek, tilting his head, running his tongue over Sam's teeth, breathing into his mouth heatedly.
"D-Dean.." Sam moaned fingers raking down his back, pressing even closer.
Dean's hands moved under Sam's shirt and he rolled them back over, climbing on top again and lifting the artical, breaking the kiss for a moment before he was back on him, kissing feverishly.
Sam whined quietly, hands pushing up against Dean's chest and shirt, his body writhing under Dean's.
Dean bit Sam's lower lip, hands grabbing around his neck and jaw as he forced himself over his brother. Sam moaned lowly, hands sliding under his shit and tugged it over his shirt, fingers immediately on his skin mapping.
The older Winchester broke the kiss finally, nipping down his cheek and jaw, "God, Sam," He panted with need.
"Am I dreaming..?" Sam panted tipping his head back hands moving on Dean's back restlessly.
"God I hope not," Dean said, moving his mouth down to bite at Sam's left nipple, teeth rolling the nub between them making Sam gasp, his back arch and fingers tightening in his hair. "God Dean.."
Dean sucked tightly, tongue flicking it as he did so, hands grabbing the taller man's hips and holding him still as he teased the hardening flesh.
Sam was trembling and moaning, tugging dean's head back up to his level and assaulted his neck with soft kisses and harder bites, scraping the skin with his teeth.
"Sammy," Dean groaned, rubbing his thumb along the nipple now as he bent his neck in welcome. Sam's breathing stuttered and he bit down on his pulsepoint, sucking on the skin.
The older Winchester let out a sudden, pleased gasp and he turned to whisper in Sam's ear, "God, Sammy, I want you so bad I can barely breathe straight."
"Need you..needed you for so long.." Sam murmured a shiver running through him at the whisper.
"You have no idea," Dean agreed and argued at the same time, grabbing Sam's chin and kissing him fiercly again.
Sam slipped his tongue in Dean's mouth, fingers sliding down to undo the button on Dean's jeans and Dean did the same back, hands moving to Sam's pants and pulling needily at them, shifting to kick off his own.
Sam chuckled a little at that. "Eager much?" Dean smirked in reply. "I could say the same about you,"
"Mmmh...after so many years, I´d say we deserve it." Sam muttered chuckling, nipping Dean's ear.
"Exactly," Dean breathed back, pulling away to look into his brother's eyes. Sam smiled up at him, eyes blown wide with want and need, lips swollen and red from the hard kisses.
Dean's eyes stared down at his lips for a moment before he leaned in and kissed him again, nearly growling at the feel of it, the idea of it, the taste of his brothers lips against his.
Sam smiled making an approving sound from the back of his throat, fingers playing with the nape of his neck.
"Fuck, Sammy," Dean said against his mouth, he was so hard at this point that it nearly hurt.
"Please." Sam gasped thrusting his hips up with a moan. "Please Dean." Dean moaned, reaching down under his brother's boxers and grasping him. His heart rate climbed, feeling the familiar, and not familiar, flesh between his fingers as he began to work him.
Sam moaned out loud, throwing his head back in pleasure as Dean stroked and touched him, panting against their sleeping bags which at this point, clung onto his back sweaty back.
"Fuck, Sammy," He said, resting his head on the younger Winchester's collarbone, staring down at his hand as he ran it up and down along the shaft making Sam keen, lips parting in stuttering gasps. Sam's other hand clenched and unclenched on the sleepingbags, other still on Dean's back nails digging in his skin. "Oh god..oh god Dean.."
The pleasure was growing in his lower stomach in an alarming speed, his release close after finally getting Dean to touch him, to finally have him in this way, to feel his hands on his body and he tried to warn Dean stuttering, pupiles blown wide with pleasure.
"Come on, Sammy," Dean smiled, biting his ear lobe and pumping harder, squeezing the tip each time, "Do it for me." He murmured leaning down and sinking his teeth on Sam's neck, twisting his wrist as he reached the leaking head.
Sam panted heavily, trashing on the ground before his body tensed up, pleasure shooting straight through him and he came with a loud cry of pleasure, holding onto Dean for his dear life and trembled against him. His mouth was hanging open, small white dots clouding his vision as he panted for air desperately.
Dean stared at him with wide, lust-blown, curious eyes, catching the come in his fist as he milked him still, leaning down and kissing Sam, "Goddamn."
Sam could only make incoherent noises, responding the kiss best he could in his post-orgasm haze.
The older Winchester pulled away, grabbing from the duffle-bag a few tissues and wiping his hands clean, stopping once to taste a finger curiously.
"God damn Dean.." Sam chuckled, sliding his hand down his chest. Dean grinned, nearly licking the finger clean and laid on his back, his own hands moving down to himself, palming through the black undershorts.
Sam's eyes widened at the sight, and he just took it in for a moment before growling and moving to straddle his brother, swatting his hands away. "Let me."
Dean stopped and smirked, tucking both arms back behind his head and waiting with an amused expression.
"Don't look so satisfied or I might just tease you for hours without letting you come." Sam warned him grinning, running his fingers up his cock.
Dean raised his brow, "That wouldn't be nice, after what I just did for you, Sammy. Would it?"
"I guess not." Sam chuckled, sliding his hand in the shorts and wrapped his fingers around his brother. It was weird, the feeling alien but he quickly got used to having his brother in his hand like that and started to stroke him slowly.
Dean refused to close his eyes, gaze locked on Sam with lust, eyes dilated nearly black as he watching the expression on Sam's face as Sam bit his lip, keeping his eyes locked with Dean as he worked him, running his thumb over the head.
Dean groaned in appreciation, teeth biting his lower lip, "Fuck, Sam," He said, barely above a whisper. "It´s alright." Sam murmured speeding up his hand pressing his finger against the slit.
Dean swallowed and he couldn't help it, he reached down, touching his brother's arm, not to stop him, but to feel the movement, his eyes wide, watching the muscles flex as his brother worked him off and it became overwhelming. "Sammy," He said, dropping back, "I'm close."
Sam smiled, eyeing his brothers every reaction knowing exactly what kind of overwhelming pleasure he was feeling. "It´s okay. Come for me. Let me see it." He whispered tweaking a nipple between his fingers and flicked his wrist around the had of his cock.
Dean gasped, sitting up on his elbows as he came finally, eyes on Sam before he closed them and grunted, teeth clenching as he started breathing again.
Sam stared in amazement, pulling his hand free and glaned at it before pushing his finger in his mouth, licking it clean with a small moan, salty taste exploding in his mouth.
Dean watched him in facination, leaning up and kissing Sam heatedly and Sam plunged his tongue in Dean's mouth, making him share the taste.
The older Winchester groaned, laying back down and pulling Sam with him. Sam all but devoured his mouth, wiping his hand in the tissues on the side.
"Sammy," Dean mumbled against him, heart hammering in his ears. Sam licked his lip before letting them go, trying to catch his breath.
Dean sat back on the pillows, still panting and staring at the roof of the tent, "Goddamn."
"Did that..just really happen?" Sam mused still sitting on Dean's lap. The older Wincester grinned and nodded, "Fuck, it did."
Sam chuckled, covering his face. "Alright. Uh...How long have you been wanting this?"
Dean swallowed, it was one thing to do it... Another to actually... Talk about it. And yes, he was fucked up if he didn't understand the serious problem with which one he thought was the worse of the two, "I... Uh... Christ, Sammy. I don't know... What I was like... Twelve?" He winced, feeling the terror tremor though him.
Sam's eyes widened. "Hold up. Twelve? I was...I was just 8.." He whistled slowly. "Alright, that´s...a long time." He chuckled nervously before clearing his throat. "I realized it half a year beofre Standford. That's...part of the reason I went there. To get away, to suffociate the feeling. Then you appeared in my house and..well, it all came back."
"I don't know Sammy, it wasn't ever really different for me, ever... It just grew, and grew. When you were about 8... I guess I started to realize that... That I'd actually do anything... Be anything for you." Dean explained softly.
Sam smiled softly, pecking his lips gently. "Big bro keeping me safe and close."
"That's how it's always been for me," Dean agreed, "I never really felt at just one particular moment, a stirring in my gut or anything. I always felt like I wanted to be with you. To touch you and hold you, and love you."
Sam smiled brushing his fingers in Dean's hair. "It´s mutual...you were all I had so I guess we had this coming."
Dean shrugged and chuckeld, "Well seriously, look at what kind of childhood we had..." Sam coulfn't help but grin. "Exactly. This is just..natural step in our lives. And to be honest, I like it more like this. To be able to hold and touch."
Dean smiled wide at the conversation they'd had before, "Fuck, Sam," He found himself moving, hands reaching out to grasp his brother. Sam smiled, letting himself be pulled closer again. "Just like old times..with some more benefits."
Dean moved in to kiss him, lips brushing softly, "Well," He started, "There was this one time..."
Tell me." Sam murmured letting his tongue poke to touch his lip.
The older Winchester brother bowed his head, "When you were like... Eleven...When I did... Kiss you," Dean explained, feeling his heart clench, "But it was only once."
Sam frowned, raking his brains trying to remember the situation but when he stared at his brother blankly, Dean decided to explain, "It wasn't anything special. You and I had a stupid fight, about dad, and that I'd always side with him, as usual."
Realization dawned on Sam. "Oh, that was one of our first serious fights. I thought about running away for real, I was so pissed that you chose to go with dad like always despite your promise to spend the day playing with me."
Dean nodded, "Yeah, I felt like an ass when I came back and you were already asleep. You didn't even wait up to see if I was alright."
"It was hard. To fall asleep without making sure you were fine. In the end I succeeded." Sam nodded understanding.
The older Winchester stared at him, "I came inside and I saw you laying there and... I was upset. I felt like a jerk. I'd been thinking about you all day... I just walked over and I didn't even stop myself. I just kissed you."
"While I was sleeping? No wonder I don't remember it." Sam stated shaking his head.
"Well, of course," Dean shrugged, "It wasn't anything serious. Just chaste. But... I lingered."
"That when you realized for sure? You were..fifteen at that time."
Dean nodded, "I guess so... I never got over that kiss either, and I kept feeling guilty about the goddamn thing."
Sam smiled softly, nibbling his lips. "No need to feel quilty anymore. I didn't know, and there were no harm done. Though dad would probably kill us if he knew."
Dean shrugged, "He could try, though he'd probably just go after me, for corrupting you."
"Like I´d let him." Sam shook his head. "We´re both in this. Now that I have you, I'm not going to let you go." He promised sliding his hand down on Dean's hip.
Fuck," The older Winchester breathed and leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, he smirked, "Suppose to be out here hunting a Wendigo, get side-tracked with sex." Sam laughed surprised and nodded in agreement. "You could say so." He was unmoving for a moment, just listening. "Then again, we may have scared it away."
"What, the damn thing is scared off by incest?" Dean said before he could stop himself, closing his mouth at once, eyes widening.
"Who knows?" Sam smiled shaking his head, lowering his lips back on Dean's skin to assure him. It seemed like that now that he had the permission, he couldn't keep away from him.
Dean closed his eyes and let out a heavy weighted breath, "God, Sammy," He reached his hand up, running it through his brother's hair.
Sam hummed against Dean's skin, nipping it softly. "You taste good." Dean let out a moan that... May or may not be referred to as whimper as well. He bit his lip and surged forward, pushing Sam back and kissing him fiercely.
Sam moaned surprised, his brother practically devouring him again and he wrapped his legs around Dean's waist. The older Winchester shivered at Sam's actions and he climbed over him, tongue running across Sam's as he arched down against the taller man.
Sam gasped, the small friction sparking pleasure in him and he pulled Dean down, kissing him hard and needy. Dean moaned into Sam's mouth, running the coarse pads of his fingers down his brother's chest as he shook with excitement.
Sam shuddered, his hands moving on Deans chest and found his nipples, playing with them with the tip of his fingers.
Dean broke the kiss, dropping his head to Sam's shoulder and gasping, "God, Sam," He breathed, "I'll never know how I kept my hands off you this long. I just... I can't think about anything else."
"I know the feeling." Sam murmured leaning up, catching the nipple between his lips and sucked on it before speaking again. "Now all I want to do is touch you. Like I´m starving for you."
"Sammy," Dean hissed, god, if he didn't stop now he was going to explode. What was the point of even being out here anymore? He didn't care about a Wendigo when he could be doing this instead.
Dean sat up, pulling Sam up with him as he drew his hands down the larger man's shoulders. He looked up at the roof of the tent and breathed, feeling himself hardening again. Sam released the nipple, kissing back up his chest and neck, licking the salty skin with a soft moan.
"Fuck," Dean breathed. Of course they ended up doing this out here for the first time, of course. That was one of the reasons why he hated camping. He was terrified of this happening.
Sam smiled, kissing his lips gently. "you alright?"
"God yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Dean asked, kissing back hungrily.
"You seemed distracted a moment there." Sam chuckled responding as hungry. Dean reached between them, running his hands down Sam's stomach and he groaned, feeling along the hard muscles.
Sam's muscles clenched at the touch and he shivered. His hand was so close yet so far away from where he really needed it.
Dean leaned in, running his teeth along Sam's jaw as his hands moved lower, "What do you want me to do, Sammy?"
"Touch me." Sam gasped trying to buck against his hand. "Oh god please Dean, please, need it, need you."
Dean's cock twitched hearing his brother begging for him and he did, wrapping both hands around Sam's girth and tugging, teeth biting the other man's jaw.
Sam cried out, barely managing to hold himself up at the growing pleasure. "Oh..oh.." The older Winchester pulled at Sam's cock, squeezing with his hand firm as he pressed their lips together and mouthed against him, "My Sammy..."
Sam keened against their lips, pushing against Dean's hand but it was not enough. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch. Dean broke the kiss, running his mouth down his brother's torso, tongue licking over the stomach muscles, teeth nipping his belly button as he dropped down, mouth joining his hands.
"Fuck-" Sam gasped surprised, his back arching like abow and he let himself fall back on his elbows. He glanced down at his brother between his legs and the sight made him moan out louder, not expecting Dean to do what he was doing.
Dean opened his mouth, taking Sam in and breathed calmly through his nose. It was startling to think how particuluarly familiar the taste was, musky, bitter, but also very Sam. Dean lolled his tongue around the tip before taking most of him in, deep-throating the length without even a hint of discomfort.
Sam let out a strand of curses, falling completely on his back fist in his mouth, panting heavily. Dean's mouth was so gloriously wet and hot around him, and he was taking him like a pro. Somewhere inside him jealosity stirred, this obviously wasn't the first time Dean was doing this but the thought was quickly washed away with another wave of pleasure that had him whimpering
The older Winchester moaned around him, hand working the base as the other reached up, fondling his balls as he sucked harder, hollowing out his cheeks. Sam moaned out loud, other hand sliding in Dean's hair. not pushing or tugging, just holding.
Dean took one sharp breath taking the entire length in his mouth, he hummed, drawing back and doing it again. It'd been a long time since he'd done anything even similar to this, but god if the thought of it being Sam beneath him wasn't the hottest thing in the world.
"D-Dean..De.." Sam gasped, tugging his hair gently. "Not going to...I´m.." Dean worked him faster, one hand reaching up and rubbing along Sam's belly as if to say 'it's okay, Sammy'.
Sam squeezed his eyes shut realizing Dean was pretty much telling him to come in his mouth, his hips making a small jerk before he tensed, coming in Dean's mouth with a loud, pleasure filled cry, seeing white before his eyes.
Dean opened his eyes, looking up at his brother as he swallowed, the salty, strong taste sliding over his tongue. Sam was panting heavily, trying to catch his breath and whimpered cracking an eye open so he culd look at Dean. "You...oh god Dean.."
The older Winchester smirked, moving up as he licked his lips and smacked them together with a pop, "Been wanting to do that for ages."
"Yeah?" Sam chuckled breathlessly, pulling him down in a hard kiss. Dean flicked his tongue over Sam's, sharing the salty taste that lingered before he pulled back again, "Every time I had to wake up and listen to you beating one out... God, Sammy," He breathed, eyes nearly black as they were dilated so much.
Sam's eyes widened and he blushed deep red. "You..oh god you were awake!?" He nearly squeaked.
"I'd like to think... Every time?" Dean smirked, running his hand down Sam's chest, "Had to lay there, listening to you panting and shaking."
Sam shuddered, the dirty words making him nearly whimper. "I..didn't mean to wake you.."
"Who does?" Dean laughed, kissing down his brother's jaw, "Didn't hear me complaining. It was the fucking hottest thing before this. I remember every time I was actually facing you, opening my eyes just a bit to see, laying there with yours shut tight as you gritted your teeth and fisted your cock."
Sam moaned silently, turning his head slightly. "Stalking me...Then went in the bathroom to fist yourself, did you? Saw me there working myself, were you hard Dean?" The words poured from his lips before he could stop them.
"Hard as a fucking rock," Dean breathed against Sam's neck, "Couldn't see straight half the time, had to palm myself under the blankets until you went to sleep."
"Oh fuck." Sam groaned at the mental image of Dean working himself when he was..."Next time you catch me beating it...feel free to join me."
Dean smirked, biting the lobe of Sam's ear, "Try and stop me." Sam chuckled keening softly. "Think of it...you coming back from getting some take out and I´ve grown heated meanwhile...you´d find me on the bed, splayed on it fisting my cock lazily."
Dean groaned against him, "Fuck, Sammy," He said, reaching down to rub at himself, "You're fucking filthy." Sam laughed, flipping them over so thayt Dean was laying on his back. "I know. I tried to dirty talk to Jessica, realized I got off on it more than she did."
Dean stared up at him, eyes lighting up and he grinned, "Just thinking of that is fucking..." He took and breath and laughed, "Damn, Sammy."
Sam chuckled shrugging his shoulders. "What can I say? In fact...one of my fantasies..when you caught me fisting it..was of it, dirty talk. We were casually eating at a bar and you started whispering thse things in my ear.." Sam shuddered at the memory, nipping Dean's earlobe. "Fucking tease even there."
"Fuck," Dean breathed, running his hand along his own length, breathing and staring at Sam. God, he was never going to be able to concintrate on anything else ever with Sam around.
Dean groaned in appreciation and bit his lip, feeling his brother's warm palm cover his own hand. "God, I can't explain how many times I've thought of this."
"When we get in a motel, with proper equipment...I want you to take me Dean.." Sam murmured quietly, flicking his wrist. Dean groaned, squeezing eyes tight and panting, "God, Sammy."
"That´s alright, right?" Sam asked sounding breathless. "Been thinking about it, want it so bad, want to feel you in me, making me yours."
"Fuck," Dean gasped as he came, nearly sitting up, opening his eyes and looking at his brother as his mouth dropped open.
Sam kept his eyes locked on Dean, seeing the pure pleasure in there and moaned softly at the sight, coaxing him through his orgasm.
Dean dropped his head back, panting, "Sammy," He hissed and grinned, "You really have no idea. I've... I've thought of it so many times..."
"Really?" Sam smiled wiping his hand in the tissues, settling down beside him with a yawn. Dean sighed blissfully and breathed, calming his heart, "Guess we found a way to keep warm," He commented, body slick with sweat.
Sam snorted, before bursting out laughing. "I guess we did." He admitted pulling the sleepingbags over them like blankets. "It will cool down later though."
Dean chuckled with him and pulled Sam close, resting his hand on the back of his brother's neck, "We should go camping more often."
"I thought you hated it." Sam chuckled looking at him, head resting on his chest.
"Only because I couldn't stop thinking of wanting to touch you," Dean finally admitted, "Something about being out here that just makes that so hard to ignore."
"Probably because we´re cramped in a small tent." Sam mused thoughtfully. "That might be part of it," Dean agreed, "Another is just the sounds, there's no walls and just... All of the birds and shit... I don't know, man."
Sam laughed amused and they sealed the unsaid promise with a kiss, falling asleep in each others arms feeling more safe than they had ever been.
It felt like coming home after a long journey.