Author: thegeekylatina PM
Dave and John find themselves in a sticky situation, as a tentacle monster from another dimension decides to make Dave it's wife and Both Him and John need a way to convice him that he's not the right man for it( Mild Slash).Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Supernatural - John & Dave - Words: 3,660 - Favs: 1 - Published: 02-28-13 - Status: Complete - id: 9055866
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
- Oh Shiiiiiitt!- I shrieked as the monster lifted me with it's giant tentacles by grabbing my right foot and turned me upside down. I felt for the first time the entire weight of my body, about to make my calf snap. it wasn't a pleasant feeling.
The creature looked at me with it's infinite eyes, like a fly and move it's lips to create a crooked and more than terrifying smile.
- Can we talk about this?!- I asked with horrified scream as I tried to reach for the shotgun that was lying on the floor below me.
The creature just tilted his head to stare ant me better and did nothing else.
I blame John for this. I blame him so hard for this.
John and it's instinct to disobey me and not letting shit go.
He had the family that we were trying to save, they were safe and sound; We had lead that monstrosity outside and out to somewhere far; We had the chance to escape and let it got lost somewhere in the outskirts of [undisclosed]. But no, John had to take it as his mission to destroy it and ended up letting it go after us and corner us on an abandoned factory on the far, far west part of town, near the farms.
Now I was being held by a creature the size of a giant, that resembled something more out of the Simpsons Tree House of Horror than actually other monsters that we had encountered. That didn't meant that shit was less ugly and spooky than the others. It was just a bit more bizarre.
-DAVE!- I heard John scream from around the corner and heard quick steps.
The monster growled and started to drag it's tentacled legs away from the direction of John's voice.
It wasn't running away as just trying to get some alone time with me, I realized when the thing got slowly into a room, it's like legs wiggling frenetically and softly swinging me from my calf, that was sore by that time.
When it entered this big but empty boiler room, it tried to be as quiet as it could when it close the door. I asked myself why it was doing that, at the time and I agree, after thinking it for several hours later the incident, when everything was okay again, that would have been less disturbing if it wanted more intimacy to EAT me, limb by limb, that why really it wanted more intimacy. The simple thought made me shudder for minutes after the event and what happened next, between entering the boiler room and our victory over the monster, took me four days of no contact with the outside world and several dozen of cold, shameful showers to get rid of.
Between my thoughts of how many minutes I could handle being upside down on my poor, sore calf and hearing the yells of John coming from the hallway, I didn't realized the sudden movement behind me, until I fet a soft and wet thing going down my shirt and sticking to my back. I tried to turn my my head to see what the monster was doing, but I couldn't.
The apparent tentacle went down my shirt and up, down and up, like it was kinda...caressing me, for a few minutes and then, after stopping for seconds, to cover my mouth, when it heard John close to the door, it went back again, but this time, it went up, my pants.
In the moment that eldricht abomination touch the bare beginning of my ass crack I shrieked like a Japanese schoolgirl about to get raped by...another tentacled monster.
Later, I swore not to download any form of tentacle porn to my computer. I made John swear too and that pissed him off so much, he didn't talk to me for the rest of the trip back home.
- DAVE!- I could hear John banging the door, beyond my high pitch screams.
- John, Help me!- I yelled, trying to get lose.
The Monsters kept sling up my pants and i could feel it's cold member against my the inner part of my thighs. - Wait a minute, wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE!- I yelled appalled, to the creature as I tried with my hands to pull out the tentacle from under my underwear - What do you think you are doing?!- I asked.
Suddenly the monster stopped and pulled out it's tentacle. It turned me in it's direction, moving my body so It could be face to face with it's ...face?
The thing give a low groan, which made me very uncomfortable. - Can we talk about this in a different way?- I asked to the creature - My calf sores and I probably will pass out soon- I said with a nervous smile. The creature suddenly, grabbed me by the waist and turned me around to my normal position, while made small high pitch sounds. I didn't thought much about in that moment, because I was just too damn happy I wasn't going to pass out and my calf wasn't going to pop, but those sounds should have been my warning signs of something horrible was about to come.
The door suddenly swung open and John entered the room in a panic - Dave! Dave!- he said swinging the bat in front of him. The monster growled at John and in swift movement, he slapped john's back with one of it's limbs, pushing him against the metal wall.
- John!- I screamed when John hit the wall - Let me go, you ugly fuck!- I yelled at the monster, hitting the tentacle that hold me, with my fists. The monster made those high pitch sounds again, but in a strange way, like sounding hurt.
John shook his head ans he started to stand up again and move slowly towards us, with one hand holding the bat and the other on the air, like trying to get the creatures attention. The slow movements of john made the monster decided to ignore him and concentrate on me, who just wanted to get loos of it's grip. Two tentacles went up my shirt and started to tickled me. I started to laugh, but my laughter turned into a yell when the limbs tried to unbuttoned my pants.
- HEY, STOP!- I Yelled- John, do something!
But John said nothing. I turned my head while I slapped the tentacles away from y zipper, to see what was John doing and I found him just staring at both of us, with a mocking grin.
- Dude!- I yelled- I might need a little help here!?-
- I think what you need is a room- He said, smiling.
- What did you say?- I yelled, angry.
- I think this thing doesn't really want to eat you, Dave- he said, then pointed with the bat to the curious limbs that where touching my body - I think it LIKES you...likes you, dude-
- I think I get that- I said slapping away as the limbs that started to undo my pants.
- What I don't know if it's a dude or lady- John said, looking at the creature, tilting his head, like trying to figure out it's anatomy - Let's hope is a monster lady, cos if not...then you got yourself a gay monster...and I've seen some tentacle porn of that kind and...-
- Don't say anything like that, john!- I yelled at him - Just figure out how can we get rid of it!-
- I don't know, man- he aid - I guess it will leave if it has it's way with you, so...- He shrugged and cross his arms.
- You are not thinking of letting this thing rape me!?- I shrieked like alittle girl - John , please!
- I don't know how to stop it dude!- He said to me - I don't see the shotgun nowhere and this bat is not going to do anything to that big body-.
- The shotgun must be somewhere!- I yelled - Or at least try and think of something else to do-.
The tentacles that had tried to pull my pants down where now about to take my shirt off. The eyes of the monster looked glassy and it's flesh felt a little warmer than before, what made me wiggle like crazy to get out of it's grip. If I didn't found a way to get rid of this horny creature, this was going to turn into a live action hentai and John was going to be the only viewer. I don't know which thought haunted my mind the worst.
Then, suddenly I felt a strange pull on my pants. Something as pulling me down. I turned and saw John pulling my body closer to him...or he was trying to climb my body...I still don't know. But he ended up with a strange mix of both. Me being lowered a few inches and he holding from the tentacle that hold me up. Then, he grabbed my jacket with his hand and pulled himself closer. I could see another tentacle pulling John away from me.
Then suddenly, when a struggling John had his face close to mine, he did something I never thought he could have done...well, actually I'm lying. It was, certainly one of John's crazy ideas, but not one that I would have liked for an occasion like that.
He got close to me and...kissed me... In the mouth.
The creature suddenly released me from it's grip as it made a loud, low growl. We both fell to the ground and pulled ourselves back up with each others help. When he finally stood up , the creature seemed more hostile than before.
- I think that was not a good idea John. You made it angry- I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand - And by the way, your breath stinks-
- You don't mean that - he said- And I don't think it's angry, just jealous-
- How do you know?- I asked
- It just standing there- John said pointing at the very much upset creature - It's not trying to eat us. it probably just wants an explanation. I mean...you didn't mentioned you weren't single- he chuckled in that moment.
The creature looked at us. It's eyes giving John death stares. John was right. It didn't knew that I was not a single man. It just saw us showed up in the middle of what it probably was the attempted mating with the victim's older teenage son. And when it put it's eyes on me, it probably decided to go for another ...mate.
- So, what you are saying, is that if we prove that I'm not single and I have a couple, the monster might go home?- I asked.
- Or it will probably kill us, but hey...there's nothing wrong with trying- John said, shrugging.
I looked at John, worried and he asked, confused - What?-
- But Amy is not here- I said.
- Yeah...I know- He nodded.
- So how are we going to probe to this creature that i'm in a relationship and it needs to search for another helpless young man-.
When John started to change is face into a smile, I shook my head and growled myslef - John, no-.
- Come on , dude!- he said smiling - Don't be a pussy. You know we need to get rid of this big thing pronto-
- How do you know it might work, dude?- I asked.
- I can feel it!- He said, sounding excited - What? Are you afraid you might like it?- he asked.
- Very funny, John-
- You are such a gaylord- He chuckled, pinching my cheek - I bet you'll like it-
I slapped his hand away and looked at him, upset - You don't know if it might work at all- i said.
- It will, it will- John said, turning me to face him - Now, the only thing you need to do...-
- I feel awkward. - I interrupted him, while with his hands on my shoulders, he pull me close to him.
- You'll be fine- he said, as he used one hand to tilt my head to one side - You are so stiff, dude! Relax-
- You try to be relax when you are about to make out with another dude- I said.
- Oh, I have. Piece of cake- He said.
- Wait, What?! Whe..?- I asked, shocked, but was interrupted by John's lips, which clashed against mine in one big, wet kiss.
It wasn't unpleasant, except for John's breath, who stank like barbecue sauce and cheap burritos. But I was more disturbed by the sudden revelation that John actually had kissed another guy before me. That got my attention for most of the time the kiss lasted, until I felt John opening my mouth with his tongue. I groaned to deny the entry, but my groan was the perfect opportunity to jab that tongue down my throat.
In the meantime, the monster gave whale like squeals as it watched us. It sounded like a crazy fan girl seeing that twilight boy take his shirt off. I hoped that wasn't the same feeling that thing had about us making out.
John was starting to get into it, pulling further into the kiss and not letting me go. My eyes were closed as he reached for the back of my waist and hold me tight while he took my breath with his hungry mouth.
A few seconds before John decided to break the kiss, I ended up caving into a feeling that was trying to impose over me. A feeling that told me that kissing john was not only a nice thing, but that it could become a ordinary thing in my life and I wouldn't cared about it. But then, suddenly , the kiss was over.
I looked at John after out lips separated and I frowned when a smug smile came out of nowhere. - You're glowing dude! I knew you were going to like it!- he said.
I gasped in horror, when I realized I had actually thought about making out regularly with a man that had no delicacy when it came to dating women, so why would I have been the fucking exception. I was not even the only dude he had made out with.
But I didn't really had the moment to feel ashamed of myself, because, while John kept mocking me for liking the kiss, the creature suddenly grabbed him from the neck with one of it's many limbs and pulled him closer to it, shaking him.
John's plan hadn't worked, just like I thought and we had made the fucking thing more piss by flaunting it's love deception on it's face.
- Davvvvhfjhfjhffjfjdf!- John yelled, choking.
Still feeling his lips burning on my skin, I shook my head and shouted - I told you it wasn't going to work! Now it's going to kill you, so it can make me it's bride-
- Pleasssshgjjgkgk!- John cried out.
- Goddammit, John- I groaned.
I was going to be the one to handle the situation in the end. So I decided to search for the shotgun that the thing had made me drop in the floor, when I remembered that I had tried to take it, while hanging upside down, in the outside hall. So, with a fast pace I moved away from the monster, who was too entertained choking John to death to notice me and walked back to the hallway.
The hallway was darker that I had remembered, but maybe John had broken some lights trying to see where I was, pushing and hitting every door and every frame. The red metallic color made the doors and the wall blend in one single straight panel of rusty lines, so it was possible. So I had to kneel and walked in all fours, with my hands, touching and rubbing the cold cement in the attempt of bumping with the wood of the weapon.
While I search for the gun, I could hear the frantic choked screams of John being shaken and squeezed by a heartbroken tentacle man...or woman.
I gasped in happiness when I finally touched the hard wooden stock. But my happiness faded quickly when I reached for it and it wasn't there anymore. I stretched my other arm and finally grabbed it, but then i realized I hadn't been able to do it the first time, because something was dragging me back into the boiler room.
As I was lifted from the ground by one of the monsters limbs, my hands moved in a quick pace to get the thing ready, cocking and puting it in position, when the time came I would had to face it.
As I entered the boiler room again, and felt again my calf killing me, I noticed a balck floating in the middle of the room. It looked like a hole.
- Dave...- now wheezed John.
- John!- I yelled when I saw him, all pale and limp, not moving anymore.
- I think my neck is about to break, dude...- he said, with a tired voice.
The monster hold me closer, letting go of John, who just fell like a sack of potatoes to the floor and started to drag itself towards the whole. Apparently it was a portal to his realm. The portal didn't looked stable, growing and shrinking every time, like it had it's own heartbeat.
So, I came up with a plan, but I had to wait until that thing dragged me the closest to the edge with it.
- Dav...- John tried to scream, while he stretched his hand towards me.
I smiled a little when I saw him trying to reach for me, because I realized that even with his neck shattered to pieces, John would have tried to save me, anyway. And suddenly the feeling of kissing him again came back for a second, making me blush.
The monster moved slowly like a snail crawling through the earth and for a moment I thought again, that my calf was going to gave up and I was not going to be able to execute my plan, because of the pain. But then I thought that I was so close to actually doing it, that the pain was not a matter of importance.
So, while John laid in the floor, regaining the strength to breath, I prepared myself to shot when the thing was inside the portal and I was outside enough to fell in the other side.
Five.. Come on, a Little more.
Three... Come on!
The shotgun blast ripped the tentacle arm off, releasing green fluid all over the place and making me fall all over my left shoulder, which hurted like hell. But As I thought before, the thing was too slow to respond to the shot, because as screamed and turn, The hole began to close rapidly.
I ran in all fours as the other tentacles tried to reach me, reclaimed me. But it was too late for the monster, as the hole closed on them, pulling them back.
I smiled and and flipped the bird at the thing when it came to the moment where the hole would close totally. the creature, which I never got to know if it was a female or male, looked at me with the only eye that could have fitted in the small closing portal. It squealed like it missed me already and suddenly, was gone.
I layed on the floor of the boiler room, with john by my side. I decided to rest for a minute, waiting on my friend to became normal again. It took him around 30 minutes for his skin to came back to his usal self.
- Dude, my neck hurts like hell- He suddenly moaned, in pain.
I looked at him and smiled, then closed my eyes. before I did, he tried to grin, but his usual mocking expression went to one of pain - Seriouly...- he said and closed his eyes too.
Suddenly, withouth noticing what I was doing, I found myself kissing John I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, with a coked eyebrow. I pull backed and gasped in horror.
- Dave...- He coughed
- Yeah?- I asked, blushing and wantimg the teath to eat me.
- Dude, you are so gay- he said and closed his eyes again, with a small smile in his face.
I turned my eyes and I faced the ceiling of the boiler room. I wanted to go home and hid under my sheets, I wanted to take a long ass showers and schrubbed my feeling off, I wanted to go to Amy and fucked the thoughts away, but what I found myslef doing was just laying in the floor , looking at the ceeling and asking.
- Yeah?- He said, sounding better.
- Nothing- I then said, ashamed to ask such a stupid thing.
- What , Dave?- he asked, sounding better already.
- Well...?- He said after a few seconds of awkard silence.
- Who was the other guy you make out with?- I finnally asked. My hands went immidiatly to my face, when John turned to me and smiled - You really want to know?- he asked.
- Yeah...- I groaned.
- Well. It's a long story- He said, chuckling and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand- But promise me that if you do meet him in any of my concerts, you won't flip out and bitchslap him in jelous rage, okay?