|A Ranting Good Time With Neo
Author: N30Force PM
Due to the fact that my previous rants were deleted for non-story-ness, I've redid my rant, this time, it's taken on a story-like format.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,407 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 03-23-13 - Published: 03-13-13 - id: 9095437
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Neo walks onstage to make a public speech, in front of many creatures.
"This text is made because I felt like ranting today, I do not mean to bash this game in any way, there is nothing wrong with this game." Says Neo to the applause of people.
"Firstly, when Spyro pulled the world together, he must've generated a humongous amount of gravity, enough to crumble the world together instead of saving it. This would've also generated a black hole that would've sucked the whole solar system from existence."
"Secondly, the planet's core should be made up of magma, not a crystal! The heat t the center of the world would've of melted the destroyer before it destroyed the world. Spyro would've been melted before reaching the center, but he didn't even have to because even Malefor couldn't sustain the heat. IT MAKES NO SENSE! If the world exploded then the magma would explode everywhere, by the way, they shouldn't be able to fight at the center because magma would've engulfed it."
"Thirdly, if the world crumbled, then so would the ozone. The sun would be able to puncture the magnetosphere meaning the remaining pieces would burn. There would be no oxygen because it would've dissipated into space. The magma would freeze. Life would be lost!"
"Fourthly, if Spyro was trapped inside the time crystal, then he wouldn't be able to grow, he would be in hibernation mode which means his body won't create growth hormones, if he could survive without oxygen for THREE WHOLE YEARS!"
"Then again, if Spyro did grew, then he would've outgrown the mold he was trapped in which means the crystal would shatter years ago. He would be able to stop Malefor and save the world! Then again, why didn't Malefor summon the destroyer earlier, he is a fool. Speaking of fools, CYNDER IS AN IDIOT! She could control wind, fear, poison and shadow. She could've just summoned a whirlwind and bust out of her prison. Poison the guards while cloaking using shadow and paralyses Gaul with fear and then kick him into the volcano! Adding to the lit of stupidity, THEY COULD JUST FLY OVER THE BELT OF FIRE! OMG OMG OMG SO SMART AND INTELLIGENT. IGNITUS SACRIFICED HIMSELF IN VAIN BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE THE LOGIC TO FLY OVER THE FIRE!" The crowd went wild.
"In conclusion, the logic in this game's logic is terrible, the characters are stupid and this game makes no sense." The crowd nods in agreement.
"I repeat, I do not mean to bash this game, I just felt like ranting today."
"Thank you thank you!" Neo shouted to the crowd.
Neo bows and leaves the stage.