OP: Oh God, what are you doing in here? Oh, that's right, you're here to read the fic. Okay, just so you know, I had absolutely nothing to do with the writing of this fic. I was locked away in the corner of Megan's brain last night. So please don't sue me for any brain damage suffered by reading this fic. Thank you.
Megan: Oooh! Guests! Would you all like some of my ketchupy milk? It goes great with breakfast foods, especially eggs!
People reading the fic: ... *blinks*
OP: Yes, that's Megan. And yes, you probably should run.
Megan: Time to start the story!
OP: Wait! You forgot the legal junk!
Megan: Oh. Thanks for reminding me, cracker lady! Okay, here goes. *takes a deep breath* . There! All done! Now, on with the story!

It was a normal summer day. Jack was headed for the Moon Mountain Cave in his shiny new convertible. He wanted to show it off to the Harvest Sprites.

"Look, Harvest Sprites! I got a new tractor beam!" he said.

The Harvest Sprites began to foam at the mouth.

"We like tractor beams," they said, beginning to eat the car. "Mmm, tastes like a moose-shaped toaster."

"No! That's my new convertible!" Jack cried.

"I thought you said it was a tractor beam."

"I'm a pathological liar," he said.

All the girls appeared out of nowhere and smacked him.

"OW!"

Jack looked at the remnants of his car. He then whistled and a sunbeam named Wine Drinker flew him to the moon, where he was eaten by his mom's meatloaf.