|A Visit From DM (A Christmas poem)
Author: Asty PM
A classic Christmas poem with an RoK twist adapted from "A Visit from St. Nicholas".Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 582 - Favs: 1 - Published: 08-25-02 - id: 932814
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"A Visit From DM"
Twas the night
before Christmas, when all through the realms
Not a creature was stirring, except for those at the helm;
The post-it notes were hung about the staff room with care,
In the hopes that DM would soon be there;
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of quest items danced in their heads;
And You in her kerchief and Steele in his cap,
Had just settled their minds for a quick winter's nap -
When at Terra's gates there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their rooms to see what was the matter.
Away to the town they sprung like a flash,
Threw open the gates and donned their protective sash.
The moon, on the breast of a long dusty road,
Gave the luster of midday to the path below
When, what to their wondering eyes may appear,
But a giant flying monster with fake antlers like a reindeer
With a little rider so late and fashionably faster,
They knew in a moment it must be none other than Dungeon Master
More rapid than eagles his pet Wilbur came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called him by name:
"Now, Wilbur! You're better than any flying deer!
You could crush them in a second, nothing to fear!
To the top of the gates! hurry before the dawn!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away, come on!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When he meets with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the tavern's very top he flew
With a sack tied to Wilbur's tail, what was in it who knew?
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The scratching and thumping of each giant hoof -
As they drew into the tavern, and were turning around,
Down the chimney DM came with a bound.
He was dressed in all fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of items he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a traveler just opening his pack.
His eyes - oh they glowed, flaming green, how scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose a... well... quite unlike a cherry.
His droll wide mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the little beard on his chin was black as a crow;
The stump of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke of it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a slim face and sword belt around his belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of Frostor's special jelly.
He was thin and gaunt, a right jolly young elf
And they laughed when they saw him, unable to contain themselves
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon let them know they had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And laid out all the Christmas day quest gifts; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang atop Wilbur, to his pet gave a whistle,
And away they both flew like the down of a thistle.
But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"