Disclaimer: Don't know them, don't own them, wouldn't know what to do with
them if I had them.
Distribution: No cookies till you ask!
Summary: Buck has a crush. His POV.
I learned to lie
I learned to lie.
In words and in actions.
You thought me.
Oh, I know you didn't mean to, but how could I not? You're all I ever
wanted, all I ever needed. But I'll never have you. This world, this
society that is so human won't allow me to join with you.
How I would love for you to touch my temples, just once. Maybe hum a
little? But no, that's not your way. I'm as strange to you as you are to
me. I wonder, is it because of my age you don't notice me, or because of my
spots? They sure seem to fascinate you humans.
No, no generalisations. You're not a part of 'you humans', you're unique.
Why don't you see that yourself? You seem so sad sometimes. I see it in
your eyes. That's one thing our people have in common: eyes are the windows
to the soul. How I'd wish that your soul could call to me, but what do you
really see? A boy, I'm sure, and one with a bad attitude at that.
But how can I be nice when I know that the minute I let my guard down, my
feelings will be clear to the world. Because they will be. If I forget,
only once, that I'm supposed to hate every single human, I'll be on my
knees in front of you, begging for you to accept me. I can just imagine the
shocked stares that would evoke. But it wouldn't just be shock I'd see in
your eyes, would it? Repulsion perhaps, disgust that I could even harbour
these feelings, maybe even pity.
I couldn't handle that. Hate, anger, sure, but please no pity. I'd rather
throw myself in the ocean than face you pitying me.
All I want to do is touch you. Hold you. Be close to you. But that's yet
another lie. It won't be enough. It won't be until you take me in, body and
soul, so 'I' no longer exists, only 'we'.
It won't happen.
So I learned to lie.
Notes: This was just an experiment, to see if I could write fanfiction. Be
nice, ask pretty and I'll write some more. Oh, and who his crush was? Why
don't you tell me? You might even influence the next story.