Moonlight Neko
( formerly Moonlight Kitty )
Prologue

"Life Still Sucks"

a fanfiction

by

Targhan (targhan_)

Disclaimer: The characters and backgrounds of Ranma 1/2 & SailorMoon do not belong to me. Ranma1/2 in the united states is distributed by Viz, and SailorMoon by "D.i.C.". This fanfiction was produced without any monetary compensation for enjoyment, no monetary compensation has been asked for or received.

Background Information: This is an alternate universe, deal with inconsistencies from the various "canon" time-lines. Also, Neko-Ranma is, well, a bit vicious. Actually, I think it fits really well, because a synonym of "vicious" is "catty"... Oh yeah, Grandpa Hino is a bit more perverted than usual, due to his association with "The Master"... Also, Mrs. Tendo died much sooner than the canon, but you'll figure that out on your own.

IMPORTANT: Due to time restraints, this story has been opened up as a "Make Your Own Adventure" at the Anime Fandorium. Due to this, I will post this, the prologue, the old chapter one, and the rewrite of chapter one here for your amusement.

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Life sucks. In particular, life sucks for Ranma Saotome. Go ahead, ask him. He'll tell you that it's true. What? You don't want to ask a pissed off martial artist about the obvious eight inch glowing red bump on his head? Sure, I can't blame you for that.

What was that? You heard him mutter something about "tomboys" and "mallets"? Well, of coarse you did, this is Ranma after all. Okay, so you want to know why in a crossover he would still be malleted by Akane? Oh! You think crossovers are supposed to solve these problems?

Unfortunately for Ranma, even with the fiancee mess all but solved--he still gets the occasional tomboy powered mallet. Here, let's roll the tape so you can catch up on what's happened so far...

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"What 'ya doin', ya' old freak??!!" Ranma declared in a strained voice, as he stared down the old lecher across the backyard of the Hino Shrine.

With a predatory grin on his face, his right fist raised menacingly, and his feet firmly planted in the green grass behind the shrine, Ranma was ready for anything the old freak could throw at him. "Oh yeah," Ranma thought, "I'm going to get the old prune this time, for sure!"

"Gyah!" Ranma screamed as he turned to discover that his father had hit him from behind. "What was that far, Pops?" Ranma asked, while flipping backwards into a tree, so he could cover both opponents. His grin turned to a serious scowl, as he realized that he was going to have to fight the old master and his Pops.

Before Ranma ever had a chance of forming a strategy, let alone making a strategy, he was kicked from the tree. He soared from the tree in a lazy arc, just barely being able to tell that it was Mr. Tendo dropping from the tree he had just occupied.

Ranma attempted a somersault to land on his feet, but his father was already in the air, landing a strange version of a leg-drop into his midsection. Ranma landed flat on his back.

During the ensuing scuffle, Ranma heard his Pops and Mr. Tendo grumble about the tactic not being honerable and how they feared what would happen later when the old lechers were gone.

As far as Ranma was concerned, they had a good right to be afraid. This time, however, Ranma was going to get both of the ol' pervs. "Happi, Hino," Ranma mumbled, "You are both going to get it later. You too, Pops."

There was no standoff, though. Soun and Genma had his arms and legs bound, and Grandpa Hino was sitting cross legged in the center of his chest, lecturing him.

"You should respect your elders," the old peeping-Hino began, "we are wise beyond your years, and we know what's best for you. Right, old friend?"

"Haha!" agreed the shrunken up old panty-thief. "Ranma, my boy, you just don't know what's good for you!" the old prune whispered into his ear. Then, he added, "Let me show you how to appreciate the finer things!"

Without further warning, Ranma found a pair of white, lacy, and recently worn panties shoved into his face!

Ranma then began to struggle in earnest, twisting, heaving, and jerking about. When he tried to complain, part of the panty in question was shoved into his mouth. Ranma was turning red, not from the lack of oxygen, but from his anger and embarrassment.
The constant babbling of rude comments were grating his nerves too; why did he have to put up with this non-sense?

"Hold still my boy, and inhale the luxurious smell of the fairer gender," Happosai's voice would have been soothing if, and only if, he were speaking of ANY other topic.

Grandpa Hino's comments weren't much better, "This should be your favorite smell and taste in the world! The joy of having such a sweet shrine-maiden's unmentionables so close to your face! Ahh, to be young and in love again..."

Before Ranma could succeed in any attempt to free himself he heard familiar voices coming from the shrine.

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"What are you doing to him, ya' old freaks?" Rei screeched her displeasure at whatever was happening in front of her, getting angrier by the moment.

"Ranma!!!!! What did you do to piss-off Grandpa??!!" That voice would be Akane's, who Ranma figured was still in denial about her grandfather's perversions...

Out of fear, respect, or sudden lack of interest, Ranma was suddenly able to move again.

As he raised himself to the kneeling position, he snatched the panty from his mouth; then, began berating the collection of baka's that just left.

About the same time, he felt the death-glare coming from his back. "Uh, oh," he thought, "the girls. Shit." He slowly lowered his gaze to find the panties still in his hand.

"Oh, shit."

Akane's voice echoed like the voice of God on the Mountain, "So, you have taken a liking to priestess panties, you pervert?"

Ranma would from this day on, swear that he could HEAR Akane's battle-aura building. Desperately trying to save what face he could, Ranma defended, "A. Ak. Akane, it's not what you think. I don't want some shrine maiden's panties in my face! It's the old perv's fault I swear! Ask Rei, she knows the things they pull, right Rei?"

He was hoping for an answer of, "Yeah, they are always goading Ranma into something."

Instead, Rei, as she was snatching the panty from him, said, "Hey! These are MY panties, and they are wet!"

"So, Ranma. You are telling me that MY grandfather made you suck on my little sister's underwear?" Akane's voice was dangerously low.

"Gyaaaah!" Ranma screamed, then he tried the obvious, well to him, defence, "Why would I want to do that? There's no way I would want that angry Devil-Hunter-Yoko wanna-be's panties in my face!"

Ranma thought about what he just said. Ranma was suddenly very much afraid. Rei was not going to like that.

"So, my panties aren't good enough for you? RANMA!" Rei's voice was teetering on the -bash-Ranma-with-one-thousand-wards- attack.

Ranma had only one choice, admit defeat, "Uh, no. If I had known they were your's I wouldn't have fought so much. No really. I just didn't want Akane to know that I sort of..."

"Ranma! PERVERT NO BAKA!!!!" Akane pummeled him, as she bellowed her remarks. Then, as Ranma grew his head-bump, the two girls went back into the shrine.

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See? Ranma just can't escape his fate. Sailor Moon is fated to bring back Crystal Tokyo. Soun Tendo is fated to play Shogi with a panda. Ranma, however, is just fated to be pummeled by mallets.

Wait, you mean you don't understand the Rei, Akane, Grandpa-Hino relationship? You want to know why the whole Tendo parental patrol with associated perverts are at the Hino shrine? The rest of the Senshi too? You want to know about them?

Well, the Senshi don't meet at the Hino-Shrine when the rest of the family is in town. It's too dangerous, even for the defenders of love and justice. Now about the relative issue...

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Grandpa and Grandma Hino were sitting quietly on their porch, each taking turns rocking the week-old Rei.

"Dear," Mrs. Hino began, "Do you think it was a good thing to do to our son-in-law?"

The reply was simple, "For the time being, yes. Poor Soun is devastated. I miss our little girl, dear wife, but I think losing her during childbirth put our son-in-law over the edge."

"What about the girls?"

"Well, Kasumi is old enough to know what is happening. Nabiki and Akane are just too young to understand. Besides, Soun promised to have Rei train as a shrine maiden."

"Dear, shouldn't we have him sell that old place, or rent it out? Then, he could move in with us."

Grandpa looked serious for a moment, "No, he would refuse, or if he were his old self he would. We'll take turns visiting them. Nabiki or Akane may blame Rei if they knew the truth. Rei could blame herself."

Mrs. Hino smiled, "Yes dear. I suppose it is best for the girls to think it was an accident. Don't pretend that Kasumi doesn't know, she has to help keep the secret, and she has to keep Soun quiet."

"Yes dear. We'll all feel better when our family is whole again."

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Ahh, so you see? Rei is the youngest Tendo sister, although Akane and Nabiki don't know about it. Soun knows, but he never considered telling Ranma or Genma about her, because he felt is wasn't time to tell Akane or Nabiki yet. Besides, in his opinion, Rei was learning his wife's priestess vocation. Soun wanted the schools to be joined, and that didn't include teaching another student the Tendo path from scratch.

Still a little confused? Then you know how Ranma feels, because, as you know, something big had to happen to bring this into being. However, that is a story for another time.

Meanwhile, let's check on the outers, shall we?

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Haruka's amusement was far from hidden, she held the television remote away from her room-mate/lover, who was an absolute mess.

"Give that back, or turn the channel, now!" demanded Michiru, while chasing the laughing Haruka around.

Haruka was having a blast at Michiru's expense, but didn't quite realize how mean she was actually being towards the green-haired girl.

"And the wild elk has it's work cut out for it in the winter, as food becomes mo...BzzzzT"

Raising an eyebrow, Haruka said, "Hey, I was just having fun. Why did you have to turn the tube off?"

The reply was a stunning scene, as Michiru threw the television from the window. Then, the curly green haired girl added, "I *hate* nature shows, and I *hate* elk!"

A few feet away from the broken television, Setsuna stood, blinking with a massive sweat drop.

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[Narrator shrugs.]

As you can see, the outers, uhm, have their own problems, as weird as they are. Maybe next time, if you remember to ask me about it, we could take a trip through time to ask the Setsuna from the Silver Millennium about Sailor Neptune's irrational fear of... Elk.

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The narrator was suddenly struck from behind by a wooden sign reading, "Baka!"

The scene fades to black, as the mutual cast of Ranma1/2 and SailorMoon jump up and down on the narrator.

"Mommy."

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Thanks for reading.

For those who have read the previous "Moonlight Kitty," the previous post is currently being re-written. During the course of a few weeks worth of plugging holes, fixing plot errors, etc, I decided that it needed a rewrite.

This is an alternate universe, different is the definition. The story is more Ranma-centric than SM-centric. In short, this means that Mamarou attacking Ranma for no reason is FAR more important than anything the Negaverse can throw out.

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Until next time...