TITLE : Lightbulb, Tape And A Box of Chocolate
RATING: PG just to be safe
CATEGORY: Romance, Humour
SPOILERS: Just a little "Divide and Conquer"
TIME FRAME: Season 4
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM,
World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright
infringement is intended.
Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's
Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2002
I'm bored, the rest of SG1 is in P34 549 right now and I'm stuck here in
the infirmary. Janet won't let me near my lab, she said that I need my rest
and threatened to have me strapped to the infirmary bed if I'm not being
cooperative. To be honest, I just fainted.
Janet saw this as a opportunity for her to make me rest against my will.
That and the fact that I'm slightly anemic as well, it's been a rough month
for me. SG5 managed to bring a new 'doohickey' as certain Colonel put it, I
was so exited at first but then after I did all of tests that I could think
of I couldn't find out what it is. It frustrated me, and to top all that
that jerk (i.e. SG5's leader, Major Blaine) came to my lab yesterday and
admitted sheepishly that the doohickey wasn't a doohickey after all, it's
just, believe it or not, a lightbulb.
His team went back to the planet where they got it and discovered what's
the nature of the doohickey. He was so lucky that Daniel and the Colonel
were in my lab when he told me that news and apologized, otherwise I might
have said something colorful and land that stupid 'lightbulb' right on his
forehead. Instead I just stared at him and said, " It's alright Major. Oh
yeah, next time you went back to that planet please remember to ASK the
native, what is their purpose of giving you a LIGHTBULB without telling you
that it was a LIGHTBULB"
I think my staring had become a murderous glare by the time I said that,
because the Major started to squirmed a bit. Man, I don't know when I had
developed this ability to make a Major squirmed. I guessed the Colonel rub
on me a bit. After Major Blaine excused himself, I turned around and saw my
two team mates staring at me. The Colonel was the first one to speak.
"Well well well, I'd never pictured you as a bully Carter. That was ...
cool. You're so ."
" I'm so what Sir? Do you know how much time have I wasted on this.. this
.. lightbulb Sir? I though this was something interesting, something
different, something . I don't know .. usefull?" I answered him back half
screaming. I was furious.
" I was gonna say 'you're so intimidating' but now I'm gonna changed it to
'you're so scary'." He smiling now, damn that smile, it makes me forgot
just about everything
"Come on Carter, don't be so upset about this. Blaine had just started 2
months ago, that was his what.. fourth, sixth mission? Give that guy a
break would ya? Beside, he had a crush on you"
" What?" My anger replaced quickly by amusement.
" You heard me. He ... had ... a . crush . on . you. Do you want me to
spell it?" He's grinning right now, enjoying how he makes me uncomfortable.
This is how he teases me. And I have to admit, I kinda enjoying it. Doesn't
makes sense isn't it, that I enjoy being uncomfortable.
" Daniel, do you know what the Colonel talking about?" Naturally my self
defense mechanism started to work and I know Daniel will back me up on
everything coz we got some kind of conspiracy going on against the Colonel.
" Oh yes I do. In fact Sam, I have to agree with Jack this time." I
couldn't believe it. Daniel betrayed me, he so gonna paid for this.
"Oh yeah, what makes you guys think he got a crush on me?"
" Well, I don't know if you notice or not but he always blushes when he
talks to you." this is the Colonel response.
"He also makes an effort to go to your lab everyday" Daniel added
" Oh yeah, don't forget when we came back from the rain planet. We actually
heard him in the locker room telling his team mates how 'cute' you are."
" Not 'cute' Jack, I believe the word he used is 'dangerously attractive' "
" What's the difference?"
" You actually heard him said that?" I stared at them not believing a word
they said. I started to suspect there's a conspiracy between these two.
Daniel, you traitor. You so gonna sorry that you crossed me. Just wait
until I get my hands on you.
" Oh yeah, we even put the whole thing on tape. Daniel has it in his lab."
I stared blankly at them as the news sank in.
" On tape? Do you actually have it? How . when . how .."
" Well, the tape is on the right place at the right time"
Alright then, I got to hear it and confiscate the tape a.s.a.p. Providing
they truly have the tape.
" Well then, can I hear it?"
" Sure, why not. Daniel, lets go."
" Mmm, sorry Jack. I've already got an appointment with Teal'c in his
quarter. He's helping me with the Ghould writing we found in P34 549. But
if you really want to hear the tape Sam it's on my desk. Here, that's the
key to my lab" Before I can reach the key, the Colonel already took it from
" Come on, I come with you. I don't want you to somehow accidentally ruin
the tape." He read my mind. I don't know whether I should hate it or not.
Up until then I though that they were just bluffing, I never expected it to
be real. So, I was walking in the corridor of SGC thinking how did I got
myself into this mess. Well, I'm going to listen to a conversation that
basically telling me that Major Blaine got a crush on me in front of the
guy I got a crush on. I classified that as a mess.
Colonel O'Neill didn't say a word. I don't know what he was thinking. I
wish I could. Damn Anise and his lying detector machine. Damn the
regulation. I could only wish that someday somehow I could tell him how
much I care about him. 'Cared a lot more that I suppose to', somehow that
word stuck in my heart. I let out a sigh.
"Are you alright?" A pair of brown eyes looks at me softly. Got to think
something clever to answer back.
" Yeah, I just." want to tell you how much I love you, of course that's not
a clever answer. Honest, but not a clever one. " tired. And disappointed.
I've been working on that thing for a week and it turns out to be a
lightbulb. How cruel is that? Sometimes I fell that someone up there is
making a fun of me" I said it with a sad voice. Sad because I couldn't tell
him the things I like to tell him most. I'm getting better at hiding my
feeling lately, I guess practice makes it perfect.
" If you think of it, it actually kinda funny, don't you think?" he smile
so softly, my heart almost melted away. Get a grip girl, you're in SGC
corridor, you can do the drooling later on.
" Yeah I guess so. Once I get over this sinking felling I'll be able to
make a joke out of this. I think." I gave him a weak smile.
"Well, we here. You know what, this tape actually kinda entertaining. You
might cheer up after you hear it." He opened the door to Daniel's office
and went straight to his desk. He found the tape.
" Why do I need to get ready to hear a tape?" I'm a bit confused now
" You might want to sit down. It's a long tape."
I shrugged my shoulder, might as well get this over with. So I pulled on of
Daniel chair and sit on it. The Colonel do the same and sit quite close to
me. Then he push the play button.
". she saved the earth several time. I mean no disrespect to you or
anything Major but Major Carter is out of your league" I recognized the
voice. It's Captain Payne from SG5, he also a scientist.
"Yeah Major, beside Major Carter is such a babe. Why would she want to go
out with you?" I think that's Captain Leon, he said it with teasing tone. I
look at the Colonel and mouthed 'babe?', he just smile.
" Well, you wouldn't know if you don't try, would you?" That's Blaine
" Please take my advice Major, leave Major Doctor Samantha Carter alone if
you want to have a good life in SGC"
"Why?" He sounded a little confused and to tell you the truth so do I.
" First, her father is a general who acts as our liaison with the Tok'ra.
That alone speaks a lot. Second, the SG1 is a very well knitted team.
They're the only original team that survived more incident than all the
other teams put together. Anything happened to her then the rest of the
team will make sure someone pay for it. Third, she can speak 'technobabble'
as Colonel O'Neill put it and if you can't understand it don't waste her
time. Fourth, lots of guys, both alien and human, had a crush on her. But
we never see her date anyone seriously. Some of those guys are more
handsome and intelligent than you are. Fifth, most of the guys in the base
have a thing for her. If you date her, you'll be the guy that we all love
to hate" That's Leon's voice. How come he came out with so much reasons
for someone not to date me? Well, I can't disagree the reasons although I
have a doubt about the last one. Make a mental note to ask the Colonel
about this later on.
"Really? Well, it's not my fault she's so clever and attractive, is it?.
Dangerously attractive. Man, I really like her you know. Do you know how to
get close to her?"
" Major, haven't you been listening to what I'm saying? She's out of your
reach. Please don't make a fool out of your self. You're a great CO, I
don't want to have a new one so soon"
" Why would you have a new CO?"
"Well, I just remember there's a sixth. She can kick you butt. And when she
knows that the device that we got her is only a lightbulb how do you think
she will react?"
" That's right Sir. Major Carter will be so pissed at you she won't even
considered you to be her friend at this moment. Let alone her date."
" Well, it is my fault. I was too exited when the native gave us the
device. I though Major Carter will be so happy to have a new thing to
study. Do you see how she smile at me when we gave her the device? I could
die a happy man." I started to feel guilty about my early behavior toward
him. He just trying to be nice. Wait a minute .., if the Colonel present
when Daniel made this recording then he knew all along about the ..
"Jee Sir, you really got it bad"
I pressed the stop button.
" Aw Carter, we're getting to the interesting part" I just stared at him.
"Sir, why are you and Daniel in my lab when Blaine came to inform me about
" I was there to see how you gonna react." He's grinning again.
" Why ?"
" Because I have to make sure that you don't do anything stupid. I know
you've been passionate about the doohickey, so you're going to be very very
upset. So I figure, with Daniel and me around you wouldn't slap him on the
face or do anything that closely resemble that action." I got to admit that
he got a point.
" And . I also want to know whether you will do any of sadistic scenarios
that Payne and Leon manage to came out with."
"Sadistic scenarios, Sir?"
" Yes, if you hit that play button now, you'll see how imaginative those
two are. They should be a horror story writer. You know, it's kinda leave a
not so pretty image of you in my mind, so another reason for me to be there
is to clear my vision of you"
" Let's hit the play button again"
After that I hear the rest of the tape. Colonel O'Neill was right though.
The two Captains in SG5 should be a horror story writer. No wonder Major
Blaine looked nervous when he came to my lab earlier. Suddenly I felt so
tired. I guessed all the lab works started to take the toll.
I made a move to take the tape but the Colonel was faster.
" A. A. A. I'm going to keep the tape. If you want to hear it, just ask
" Sir, what are you going to do with tape anyway? Just give it to me"
" What about you? What are you going to do with the tape?"
" I'm going to burn it" I decided that being honest is the only way out.
"Why would you do such thing Carter. This tape is an expression of Major
Blaine's feeling for you. Wouldn't want to break his heart twice in a day
now, would we?" He's started to grin again.
"With all do respect Sir, I .." Before I could finished my sentence I felt
a bit light headed and after that all I can see is black. Still can heard
the Colonel calling my name though before I completely out of it.
When I opened my eyes I could see the familiar ceiling of the infirmary. I
looked around and saw the Colonel looking back at me.
" Hey, how are you?"
" What's just happened?"
" Hey Doc, Carter's awake" He ignore my question and called Janet instead.
" Hey there. How are you feeling?" Janet appeared from her office and
" Janet, what happened? Why am I here?"
" Well, you just fainted. Let me see, you're slightly anemic and I'm sure
you've been ignoring my order to eat and rest regularly." Caught in the
act, I smile sheepishly.
" Oh . So how long before you clear me up for duty then?" I started to get
up but the Colonel put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back to bed
" Not so soon Carter. You'll stay here in the bed and rest until the Doc
happy with your blood test result."
" I'll give you 3 days"
3 days? In infirmary bed for 3 days? Doing nothing? I was going to protest
when I look at the Colonel and Janet, then I realized I couldn't win the
" Three days is a long time Janet. Can I at least have my laptop?" I asked
in a pleading voice.
" Not today, maybe tomorrow though. Now, you better take a rest. I'll have
the nurse to bring you something to eat."
" OK "
" Listen, I have to go now. You'll be alright here?"
" I think so. Beside the Colonel is here. I'm sure he'll be willing to be
my personal nurse for a while. Getting me water to drink and stuff."
" Hey, that's not what superior officers are for . " He protested a bit but
" Sam, I leave you in the Colonel's capable hands then " Janet said and
made her way out of the infirmary.
" So, how are you feeling?" he asked, serious expression in his face.
" I'm fine, just a little dizzy and tired actually."
" Well, that will teach you not to ignore the Doctor's order next time. You
give me a scare back then, you know. I thought ." His sentence was cut by
an arrival of Major Blaine.
" Excuse me. Major, Colonel. I just .. mmm . heard about . about your
condition . and . Major Carter, I just want to say once again that . that
I'm so so sorry. I never . meant to caused you so much trouble"
He looked like a little boy who just being told off by his parents.
" It's OK Major, it's not completely your fault. I have other projects as
well other than your lightbulb"
" Still, I can't help feeling guilty about it."
Colonel O'Neill approached him and said, " Blaine, can I have a word with
you? Carter, I'll be right back OK? Take a rest, that's an order Major"
Then he pulled Blaine outside before Blaine could say another word.
The look in Blaine's face was priceless, there's definitely fear in there.
I guess Payne's and Leon's words still stuck in his head. Suddenly I felt
so tired, so I closed my eyes and let sleep took over me.
When I woke up, it's already the next day. I looked at the cloak in the
infirmary. The rest of SG1 probably already in P34 549 right now. Daniel
said that the writing indicated that there is a temple somewhere around the
ruin and he wanted to go back there. And knowing Daniel, the mission will
I'm bored. The nurse already came and goes. My laptop is not here yet,
Janet told me that she would have someone to bring it to me. I hear
footsteps outside, it sounds familiar. Then the Colonel appears and before
I know it, a box landed on my lap.
" For me?"
" No Carter. I bring a box of chocolate to the infirmary and landed it on
your lap but it's not for you. It's for Teal'c." I chuckle. It reminds me a
bit to the time when we had our memory stamped. I missed it somehow.
" Thanks Sir" I start to open the box.
" So, what are you doing here? I though you'll be in P34 549 by now" I
take one of the chocolate and put it in my mouth. Yum.
" I had SG5 babysitting Daniel for this one. Teal'c goes with them. It's
Daniel mission anyway." He shrugged his shoulder.
He staying here for me. How sweet is that?
" I bet you pulled rank to have SG5 on this mission." He smiles at my
statement but not making an effort to deny it. I offer him the chocolate.
" No thanks Carter. The chocolate is for you. I know you always had a thing
" So Sir, what did you said to Major Blaine yesterday?" I must admit that
I'm really curious about that
" Oh . nothing. Just making sure that he won't make the same mistake."
" That's it?"
" That's it."
I don't know why but I'm felling a bit tired again.
" Are you tired?" How did he know?
" Yeah "
" Alright, I leave you to rest now. See you again." He make his way out of
I stare at the door for a while. Maybe this whole resting thing is not too
bad after all. I get to see how sweet the Colonel actually is.
Unconsciously I let out a smile. Well, I better get a rest now. I put the
chocolate box on the table next to my bed and pull my blanket a bit.
Getting ready to doze off.
Wait!!! What about the tape? Obviously the Colonel still has it. Still have
to burn it. Well, I guess I'll just get it from him later on. Right now, I
just want to sleep and maybe had a dream about a certain Colonel with brown
eyes. Ups, and one more thing, I still have to think on how Daniel going to
pay for his betrayal.