Yohji dropped a box rather carelessly in Aya’s lap. He raised his hands slightly as if prepared to defend himself against something but his face made no expression at the unexpected thing.

-I bought you a gift; Yohji said as nonchalantly as he had given it to him but there was this look on his face.

A mischievous smile a spark in those green eyes of his. Made him look quite devilish. Aya looked suspiciously at the object in his lap, still no expression.

-You bought me a gift? There’s no reason. An emotionless statement.

Yohji smiled even wider and slumped back in the chair opposite from the bed on which Aya sat. He shook honey-coloured tresses out of his eyes and let one of his long legs dangle over the arm of the chair offering a full view of his jeans-clothed crotch. Aya wasn’t going to be fooled into looking.

-I have my reasons… you’re going to open it or what?

Aya looked again. A flat oblong box clothed in almost white leather. Faux? No, he could smell the faint scent of real leather. He put a finger on it. Deerskin?

-What is it? Still no expression, still no emotion in that simple question. Yohji didn’t let it get to him. He stroke his hair out of his eyes, a meaningless motion, it as soon fell back. There was such a strange glint in his eyes, really. Aya couldn’t interpret it.

-Jewellery, Yohji said and couldn’t refrain from an amused chuckle, the kind, which suits you best!

The faintest rise of an eyebrow. The slightest tightening of the sweetest lips Yohji had ever tasted. Yohji could guess at his thoughts ‘What do you know about what suits me the best?’ Ah, but he did. He did even if Aya didn’t know it himself. Aya didn’t touch the box but Yohji just waited patiently, he knew he would eventually open it. Aya was more often than not too occupied with himself to be socially smooth with people and at times he was flat out rude. But at heart he was too damn polite not to open it. Yohji shifted in the chair, putting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward to savour every second of this moment. Aya put both hands on the box. Let long slender fingers feel at the leather. Aya’s skin and the deer’s skin… almost the same colour, creamy white. He pressed his thumbs at the edge of the lid and flipped it open, and there it was… an expression.

Maybe someone that hadn’t spent years on watching the redhead would have missed it. Yohji didn’t miss a thing. Surprise, bewilderment, indignation, a bit of shock, a bit of embarrassment… A sort of recognition? It had all been there. For one who knew what to look for.

Aya looked into the box not quite believing what he saw. Black velvet lining, a jewellery box all right but this was no jewellery. Aya had to pick them up. Had to hold them in front his eyes and had to feel them to believe in them. A pair of handcuffs? Shiny metal but no jewellery. A pair of handcuffs, a fucking ordinary pair of handcuffs? Maybe not ordinary. Almost against his will he noticed the little details. The exclusive leather box. The way the inside of the box was moulded to fit the handcuffs… there was a diamond set in each of the cuffs…? This whole set must have been custom made. This whole set must have cost Yohji a fortune. Yohji must be completely out of his mind. Yohji was way out of line!

Yohji knew the next expression well. The narrowing of those strangely coloured eyes. Lilac… The colour reminded him of lilac flowers. The look in his eyes now would have wilted any flower though.

-Get out of my room! He hissed the words out moving slightly towards him as if he was about to throw him out himself.

Yohji stopped smiling but the amused spark never left his eyes. He got up though and raised his hands in a peace offering gesture.

-OK, OK… where’s your sense of humour? He knew he was pushing it. Aya had never had any sense of humour at all.

-All right! I’ll leave…

Yohji headed for the door but halted with his hand on the doorknob turning, smiling.

-Let me know when you want to try them on though. I wouldn’t want to miss it.

He fled the room, not having to look back to know that the redheaded young man on the bed was furious by now.

The whole thing had gone better than he thought though. He had been angry sure but at least he had not tried to smash his head in with the box or anything. If he really had resented the notion, Yohji thought, he would have sent the whole thing flying after him as he went. But he had kept the box in there, had he not?

*

They went about their business as usual, they did their work. Daytime work and nighttime work as they always did. Aya with the same cold precision as always. They didn’t talk about it. Yohji didn’t mention the "gift", didn’t ask about it. Aya was sure glad he didn’t. He wouldn’t have known exactly what to answer. He sure didn’t bring it up. It worried him though, worried him a whole lot. Not that Yohji had given them to him. Who knew how Yohji’s perverted mind worked? No what worried him was that he obviously wasn’t able to just brush the whole thing aside as a totally unimportant whim on Yohji’s part. That he wasn’t able to stop thinking about it and turning it about in his mind. That he couldn’t stop wondering what Yohji really had meant by it. That almost every night before he went to bed he opened that drawer and lifted the lid of that box and stared at them. Just stared.

It occurred to him after a while that Yohji's silence about it was the unnerving part. If Yohji had joked and been going on about it like he always did he would have just been mad at him and would be able to dismiss it all as a sick joke on Yohji's part. So he had to get Yohji to mention it. If only he got Yohji to mention them he would undoubtedly start making a nasty and utterly silly joke about them and then he would get a chance to not laugh at it but glare him down as he usually did when Yohji made stupid jokes and childish innuendoes. Yohji would laugh and Aya would glare at him until he would get embarrassed and hawk and hem for a while then trying to regain his cool by lighting a cigarette and putting on his sunglasses and start talking of something completely else.

He planned it almost as if it had been a mission, getting Yohji alone in the kitchen, surprising him while he was reading a newspaper.

-So… that "gift" you gave me, what was that about?

Yohji looked up, nicely taken off guard just as he planned. Soon he would crack open in a big grin and say something stupid. He didn’t though.

-I saw them and I thought of you.

No mischievous smile, not even a lewd spark in his eyes. Yohji was dead serious. Aya blinked.

-How could it have… Why would such things make you think of me?

Yohji shrugged.

-You tell me!

-You are not making any damn sense. What I am suppose to do with them, use them on you?

A little smile but not the kind Aya needed to get mad.

-Certainly not. I don’t need them. I bought them for you.

-You want to use them on me? Why?

Aya knew he should be angry now but somehow he was too intrigued by this utterly strange conversation not to continue it. He would be angry, in a little while.

-The thought turns me on I guess. I can’t think of anything more… beautiful. It’s something about metal, hard and cold and unyielding against flesh, soft and warm and pliant… You know what I mean?

-Certainly not!

Aya frowned. That was about the most stupid thing he’d ever heard and certainly no reason to why he should have them.

-That’s totally perverted, you’re sick!

-I am? Yeah maybe I am. But I’m telling you one thing. I have never in my life felt that I wanted to handcuff someone to a bed-frame before so you might ask yourself what it is about you that stir these things in me.

Aya got angry then. But not angry in the way he’d planned. Not at all. Not angry in the way that would make Yohji sorry he ever opened his stupid mouth. No it was anger born from knowing that what Yohji said was so wrong, trying to pin his perverted fantasies on him, and still not being able to find the words to tell him so. Aya just shot arrows of violet ice at him and stormed out of the kitchen.

*

Aya had started to touch them, at night before he went to bed, not only look but touch as well. Why did it feel like he had been proposed to? Why did the diamonds sparkle like on an engagement ring? Why did he feel like someone was waiting for an answer?

*

He told himself he stormed into Yohji’s room late at night when both Ken and Omi were out of the house, with the handcuffs in his hand to confront Yohji. To demand some real answers. To get some kind of excuse maybe. That was what he told himself and that was what he told Yohji.

-Now you tell me why the hell you gave me these!

Yohji looked up from where he sprawled on top the covers, lazily going through some magazine. He wore nothing but a pair of soft, drawstring pants and had just been about to shed them as well and crawl under the covers to get some sleep. He had a startled expression on his face at the sight of the redhead suddenly bursting through his door.

-You know you could have knocked…

-Why?

-Fuck, you’re touchy. Lighten up, it was just for fun.

-Fun?

Here it was. Yohji’s silly sense of humour; finally, now he could get angry the way he intended to be the other day.

-Yes, fun! A game you know. I thought you would just like to play a little.

-Play? Why on earth would I want to "play" with you? We have no time for fucking games…

-No you certainly never make time for any fucking-games! Yohji laughed.

-You are such an asshole you know that? Forget it… forget anything that ever was between us! If you think I’m ever going to do anything with you ever again you’re sadly mistaken.

Yohji just looked at him while he spewed these hateful words at him and Aya felt a surge of guilt at the hurt look in his eyes but it was mixed with a sort of glee. As if Yohji wouldn’t "take him back" in an instance if he’d let him.

-Look, Yohji said finally, I’m sorry, OK? I didn’t mean anything by it… I’ll take them back and we’ll forget all about it… please don’t be angry, OK? I don’t want to jeopardise our friendship or… anything else there might be… Will you forgive me?

Aya knew it, he knew Yohji would back off, he always did. He nodded slowly. Wanting to forgive him when he asked for it in such a pleading tone but pride getting in the way of actually saying it.

-Besides. I forgot what a prude you are…

-Prude? Prude…!

-Well, yeah, you’ve got to admit… you don’t exactly know your way around women… or people on the whole. Let’s face it, you’re like a 15-year-old virgin…

-Do you think I’m stupid, you think you are going to get me to play your games with some reversed psychology?

Yohji shrugged.

-No, stupid you are not. That’s why you know that I am right. You’ve never done anything daring in your life… well, not in bed anyway. I don’t know what you are so damn afraid of?

It was obvious to Yohji that he had managed to get under Aya’s skin in some way because Aya just glared at him then turned and banged the door shut behind him. Yohji jumped at the loud crash and stared at the door. He had known for weeks now that he must do something to stir things up or he’d go crazy. That he must somehow get closer to Aya or make Aya hate him because he could stand this "half-relationship" no longer. This going back and forth. This giving an inch then take it all back. This letting him taste it and then never let him eat it. He could stand it no longer. He hoped he would get closer to him but he could live with a clean break as well. Not just this… Seemed though it leaned towards a clean break. Fine, he knew what risk he’d been taking. It was probably for the best. Still he had a lump in his throat that he found very hard to swallow.

He was utterly surprised as the door slowly opened again after only a few minutes. Aya stood in the door, glaring and frowning.

-I am not a prude… Exactly what is it that you want to do with them?

Yohji could hardly gather himself enough to speak.

-Uh… What I want…? Uh… Not that much really. Just wanted to see you… you know, cuffed to the bed… I’ll give you a blowjob for it?

At least Aya usually didn’t refuse an offer of good old-fashioned oral sex. He liked that, though he would never return the favour. Yohji didn’t even ask anymore.

Aya seemed to go through the notion thoroughly in his head and he opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally uttered the words Yohji wished to hear.

-I might… agree… to it…

The words were fought out between clenched teeth. Yohji went out of the bed then and ushered him further into the room, closing the door and standing with his back against it as if he was afraid Aya was going to make a run for it.

-You mean it? I mean… are you sure?

-On certain conditions…

More certainty in his voice now, a strict look, a don’t-think-you-have-an-upper-hand-on-me look in his whole demeanour.

-First! You don’t hurt me or I’ll kill you later. Second you let me go the minute I say I want to or I slice you to shreds as soon as I’m able to. And third, you don’t… "take advantage" of the situation or I swear I will kill you!

Yohji almost reacted on these orders as he always did. He almost just consented to them as always. Almost just nodded and said yes like he always had to do, to get what he could get….

Yeah, almost! But not this time.

He pushed him. Hard! A hand in his chest as fast and hard and effective as if Yohji had been really serious. He didn’t expect it. Had not had his guard up. He fell backwards. The landing would have hurt had he not landed on the bed. The blow took the breath out of him but as soon as he regained it red-hot anger flooded him like a tidal wave. What did that fool think he was doing?

-What the…

Yohji was on top him before he had time to finish that, pinning his hands to the mattress. Pressing his hips down. Aya meant to fight him but there was a look in Yohji’s eyes that he had never seen before… No, that was not it. There was a lack of something in Yohji’s expression that made him not move. There was a lack of respect!

Yohji was a natural when it came to seducing. Yohji could snare any woman. Yohji knew all the right words and Yohji had a smile that could whisk away any protest in a second. Yohji oozed of animal magnetism. Yohji had eyes that promised bliss. Yohji was by all means a handsome man but that was not it. He wasn’t anywhere near as beautiful as Aya was but it didn’t matter… Yohji was pure sex… Except when it came to Aya.

Aya remained cold. Aya was immune. Aya was so aware of Yohji’s weakness for him. Not because he knew how damn pretty he was. Not because he’d ever used his attractiveness to snare anyone. That little fool wouldn’t know how to and in either case he wasn’t interested. Didn’t need girls, didn’t need men, didn’t need human contact whatsoever… that’s what he fooled himself into believing anyway.

But little by little he had finally understood. Understood that Yohji was attracted to him, that he could make Yohji horny just by being there. Understood that Yohji would do almost anything to touch him, to be with him, to have sex with him.

What had this discovery made him feel at first? Anger? Disgust? Astonishment probably, Yohji adored women in any shape; colour or form so it was a bit unexpected wasn’t it? But then, maybe not. Yohji was pure sex and sex in itself doesn’t have… a sex! Whatever it had made the beautiful redhead feel he had eventually given in a bit to Yohji’s advances and Yohji had been in heaven – for the shortest time. Until he realised that getting just a small taste of Aya was far worse than not getting anything at all.

Aya looked up at his colleague who pressed him into the bed. The lack of respect was unnerving. He was so used to having it. Yohji was an annoying person, sure. He used all that slippery manners on him like he did on all those gullible women and he thought he would fall for that? He was constantly on his tail; nagging and begging for attention and generally made a fool of himself. He was lewd, lecherous and downright nasty at times too but Yohji had always respected him. Aya steered this thing. Aya set the pace. Aya decided what was done and what was not done. How could it be any other way? Yohji had to be content with that if he wanted anything at all and after all, it was Yohji that wanted him, not the other way around, right?

But there was no respect in his eyes anymore.

-Don’t give me that shit!

Aya blinked at the sudden coldness and repressed rage in Yohji’s voice.

-What…?

-You came here willingly, and you brought this little toy along, you want it and you know it so don’t give me all this shit!

-I do not…

For a fraction of a second Aya might have believed that Yohji let go of his wrists to let him up from the bed and turn into the Yohji he knew and… well tolerated. The more baffled he was at the slap to his cheek. It was by no means a light slap. Not a playful one. Not a joke. His head flew to the side, his cheek burned, there was a ringing in his ear that slowly subsided… He had surely been taking much worse in his life but nothing that had baffled him more. As he slowly turned his head back Yohji had grabbed his wrists again and leaned over him, their noses almost met.

-Just don’t give me any more shit Aya. You know what your kind is called ha? A tease Aya, that’s what you are, a tease! You will agree to it all right. You will agree to everything and there will be no conditions. You hear? No fucking conditions what so ever! Not from you anyway. From now on I set the conditions!

Aya almost smiled. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Yohji had such a strange sense of humour. He just couldn’t be serious. That would be rape, right? Yohji wasn’t like that; Yohji would never do such a thing. Yohji was under that lewd exterior a gentleman, right? That’s why one could… could… Aya blinked and admitted it to himself. That’s why one could tease him!

He panicked then as realisation came to him. He fought him then. He bucked underneath him to try to cast the heavier man off. It was unexpected enough for him to succeed. Yohji lost his balance for a few seconds, which was all Aya needed to worm out of his grip. He headed for the door but Yohji had regained his composure fast and he had no time to even reach for the doorknob before he felt Yohji’s arms encircle his waist and dragging him back in to the room.

-Going so soon?

-You bastard!

Aya was too angry to speak really though he had wanted to say a thing or two all right. He spun around in Yohji’s hold and gave him an elbow to the chin and a kick to his groin that would have made Yohji into a eunuch if he had managed to hit what he intended to hit. He didn’t but it hurt enough never the same and Yohji sank to the floor with an anguished moan and cursed long and hard.

If Aya had not been so upset he might have taken this opportunity to flee the room but he just had to "finish it off". He just wanted to give that self-righteous, all assuming bastard a kick he wouldn’t forget. That was a big mistake. Yohji was not as beaten as Aya thought and now he was really mad. He caught Aya’s ankle as his leg shot out at him and twisted it around. It inevitably brought Aya to the floor.

Yohji was all over him in a second and Aya fought like his life depended on it. No, not his life, that was never that important. Like his pride depended on it! He didn’t fight fairly. Yohji got a scratch to his cheek and another elbow in his face split his lip. Yohji was calm in his anger though. He knew Aya couldn’t win this. Aya was a trained fighter yes, but so was he. And Yohji had several advantages over Aya. He was taller, heavier, stronger, more determined… He was absolutely sure he was more determined. Somewhere inside Aya must want this. Somewhere inside Aya really didn’t want to fight this quite this much. Why he was so certain of that fact he didn’t know. Maybe it was all in his imagination? All in his perverted fantasies? He didn’t care which.

Suddenly Aya went still under him. Stopped squirming, stopped trying to cast Yohji off, stopped trying to get a good hit in. Yohji smiled, now he was being sensible. Now he finally understood that Yohji had a really good grip on him that he was not likely to be able to get out of and that Yohji wasn’t going to let him up anytime soon. Aya was on his back and Yohji was sitting on him. Far enough down on his thighs to keep him from kicking him in the back but not so far that he couldn’t reach his wrists and press them hard into the floorboards at either side of his head. Quite helpless now, worked him self into exhaustion, his breathing forced, his face flustered, his chest heaving, trembling just a little. Yes, he couldn’t cast Yohji off, didn’t try anymore. He could have asked him to just get off of course. Maybe a simple request like that would have woken Yohji up from this strange buzz of excitement he felt. Yes, most certainly it would have. Yohji was perhaps more aroused than he had ever been right now but he was not crazy. A few words from Aya would have brought him back to reality but Aya didn’t say a word. Just stared hatefully at him and Yohji couldn’t help showing him just how impotent that silent threat was. He leaned in for a kiss. Aya thrashed his head from side to side to try and avoid it but Yohji just hovered a few inches above him and waited him out so finally he gave that up too and let Yohji press his lips against his. Yohji hadn’t exactly expected any co-operation right now but still felt oddly hurt by the utter coldness he met in that kiss. He might as well have been kissing a statue. But it changed; it changed in oh such a wonderful way. Aya sighed into his mouth and his lips parted and it was like the waking kiss of the sleeping beauty. His mouth so warm and soft, his breath so sweet, the slick feel of teeth, his little tongue, somewhat rough like a cat’s tongue, tasting at his own lips. Yohji felt his anger from before melt away, didn’t feel the urge to teach him a lesson anymore. Was just about to let go of him and indulge in this more tender way of exploring…

Aya bit him, bit him hard. Bit his lower lip just where he had earlier split it with his well-aimed elbow. It hurt; it hurt so much it stunned him. His lip was already sore, Aya had not exactly been making a gentle nibble in the fashion of a love bite and it had been totally unexpected.

Aya took full advantage of Yohji’s stunned surprise. Yohji let go of his wrists to instinctively clasp both hands across his bleeding mouth and Aya pushed him off and scurried to get to his feet.

Aya might have wonder later why he had been so slow. He was usually much faster than that and had Yohji been the real enemy he would have got away because he was really faster than that. The few seconds Yohji needed to get his wits about him, the few seconds it would take Yohji to dry the pain-tears from his eyes so he could see what was going on. Those few seconds was really all he needed to scramble to his feet and get out. So how come Yohji easily got hold of his ankle and managed to bring him to the floor yet again? Maybe he had wanted Yohji to catch him? He wasn’t sure. If that had really been the case he regretted it as Yohji reeled him in, as Yohji grabbed him by his upper arms with a vice like grip and stared at him with a face he hardly recognised.

-You sneaky son of a bitch…

Aya didn’t recognise that voice either, he had been angry up till now… now he was scared.

Yohji was stronger than he was he knew that. Just never knew just how strong. Or was he weakened in some strange way? In either case Aya was shocked at the ease in which Yohji pulled him from the floor and threw him onto the bed. Yohji straddled his chest this time and pressed his right arm in to the mattress with his knee while he reached for the diamond-studded handcuffs that had been left on the bed. It didn’t take long before he felt the sharpness of the steel biting at his left wrist. It was a matter of seconds before Yohji had looped the chain around a bar in the headboard of the bed and jerked Aya’s other wrist up to be secured as well.

Yohji looked more his normal self then, as he had finally got Aya where he wanted him. At least it seemed like it. That crazed look he had got in his face when he had bitten him was almost gone. And so Aya was almost angry again. Almost yelled at him. He sure as hell wanted to, wanted to tell him what a jerk he was and that if he thought he still wanted to play his games he was out of his fucking mind. But he didn’t. It occurred to him that it might be unwise. There were sides to Yohji, obviously, that he had not been fully aware of and maybe it was foolish to provoke him right now. Aya really didn’t want to find out if Yohji was capable of retaliate that bite even though he was at the moment quite unable to defend himself in any effective way.

Now as things where as they were his pride would probably suffer the least if he just went along with his stupid games. He could always claim later on that he had been in on it all along. He had after all agreed to it. Just never thought it would go like this. So, Yohji had got his way, he was chained to the bed and now he would give him the blowjob he had said he would give him and then he would let him go because that was what he said he would do, right? So to just go along with it seemed the only logical decision here. Besides, Yohji was damn good at sucking a cock…

Yohji started to pull at his pants and Aya cringed but wasn’t sure if it was from disgust and anger or if it simply was from pure anticipation. The chains above his head clinked and rattled as he helplessly jerked while Yohji forcefully tore his pants off his legs. A very humiliating sound that… He closed his eyes and tried to block it out. He told himself just to relax and pretend he steered this thing as he always did. Just pretend and enjoy Yohji’s wet mouth around his cock. It wasn’t hard, not yet, just a slight tingle in his groin. But Yohji would make it hard. He had such a skilled mouth. He had never understood how that was. He had told Aya once he was the only man he had ever touched.

Aya had accepted the situation that much that he mused over such things, the more shocked he got when Yohji didn’t seem to want to touch his cock at all. Neither his hands nor mouth were anywhere near it. Aya gasped loudly as Yohji's fingers bore into his hips and simply turned him on his belly.

-What… what are you doing?

Yohji didn’t bother answering at first. He took his time removing his own clothes. Took his time watching Aya’s small firm and round buttocks peek out from under the shirt he still wore. Took his time pulling that shirt up a bit and revealing the most sensuous curve at the small of his back. Yohji loved rounded hips, long slender legs and big firm breasts. What men didn’t? But he had always been very weak for just this part of the female body, the small of a woman’s back. It seemed this part was equally intriguing on a man’s body. Or maybe just on Aya’s body. He crawled over him and laid himself down, sighing as he felt Aya’s body underneath him. Feeling still so intoxicatingly aroused that he knew he was still not sane. Still felt anger though it was calmer than ever now. Still knew that he couldn’t hold on much longer. Still knew that come hell or high water he would go all the way this time no matter what Aya thought about it. Still knew that he could afford himself that little revenge for all he had suffered under Aya’s teasing manipulative manners. He could do it… because he was still so damn sure Aya wanted it. He leaned to whisper dangerously in his ear.

-You owe me. I intend to collect… besides you made me bleed… maybe I’ll… just… make you… bleed too…

His breathing became so heavy he had to force those words out. He was so hard it literally hurt and the little relief he could get by rubbing his cock back and forth in the tightly, desperately clenched crevice between Aya’s ass cheeks was not enough, absolutely not enough.

There was a sound from Aya that one could almost have interpreted as a whimper if one didn’t know Aya so well. Aya didn’t whimper.

-Look Yohji, just… just don’t, OK? You know I haven’t… you know I’ve never…

Yohji had mentioned – suggested – penetration only once before. Aya had turned that idea down in such a manner that Yohji had never mentioned it again. He had never mentioned it again but he had never stopped thinking about it. Oh he knew very well that Aya had never had anything up his ass. (Though from the way he presented himself to the world you might think he had a poker stuck up it constantly.) But hey, there must be a first time for everything. Yohji might even consider letting Aya do it to him one day, (ought to be a first time for him as well he guessed, in the name of fairness). But tonight was his night!

-Shhhh, he whispered in his ear, I’ll be careful, I’ve done it… before… lot’s of times… to women I mean…

-Yohji, if you do this I swear I’ll kill…

Yeah? So why did he never even finish that sentence as Yohji shifted a bit to be able to dig his fingers between his ass cheeks to part them wide open?

Yohji knew he should prepare him more. He had a tube of lube in the nightstand. He should use it. He ought to put a carefully probing finger in at first, stretching him a little. Should have played with him for a while, showing him it could feel good. Should have teased his prostate for a while with his fingers and let him adjust to it. Giving him a chance to get over the initial fear of pain, the initial shock of invasion in such an intimate part of the body. Should have eased him past feelings of shame that might rise to the surface at being used like this. That’s how he had always imagined he would go about it if he ever got that far with him anyway. Now he had and all such intentions were out the window. He just didn’t have the time for such. Just couldn’t concentrate enough to bother. He just parted his buttocks even wider and leaned down to wet the entrance to his hole with his own tongue before he put the leaking tip of his glans to the seemingly impossibly tight anus and pushed…

Aya had made several sounds tonight that he rarely made. He had whimpered, he had gasped, and he had winced at the coldness of Yohji’s saliva against his sphincter muscle. He had damn near uttered a plea trying to talk him out of this. Yohji had enjoyed each and every one of those sounds just because they seemed to make him human. Every crack in that shell of his was welcome even if it was mentally painful for Aya. Yohji didn’t enjoy it out of malice. He just wanted to get close to him. He wanted to see behind the mask. He wanted to share his weaknesses, not only his strengths. He wouldn’t betray those weaknesses didn’t Aya know that? So maybe Yohji would have even welcomed a scream at his intrusion? He didn’t get it in any case. Aya did not utter a single sound of any kind as Yohji drove himself into him as carefully as he could in his aroused state. Which, considering just how mind-blowingly aroused he really was, wasn’t very careful at all.

No, he didn’t make a sound, though Yohji knew somewhere in his foggy mind that he must hurt him. This must hurt. It was so very tight – oh so wonderfully tight – that it could do nothing else than hurt. Aya went rigid under him, Aya seemed to have stopped breathing, Aya pressed his face into the pillow and the only sound that was heard was Yohji’s laboured breathing and the desperate clanking of the handcuffs as Aya fought the bonds. Somewhere in Yohji’s foggy mind this didn’t seem right anymore. Aya was in pain, in real pain. His wrists were rubbed raw already from the unrelenting steel. There was a trickle of blood on the snowy white pillowcase. Aya must be biting his lips to keep from screaming… This was wrong. This was cruel. This was beyond getting back and teaching lessons. Aya didn’t deserve this. No one did… Yohji knew it but couldn’t, just couldn’t make his body listen to reason. He just wasn’t able to reason with himself right now so instead he tried to reason with Aya.

-I’m sorry love… I’m sorry… it’ll be better… soon… I promise… it will hurt less… in a little while… just… just try… to relax… just don’t fight me and…. And it’ll… I’m sorry…

He forced the words out between his increasing thrusts, not knowing if Aya understood, not knowing if he even heard him. Caring less by the second. He was nearing climax already. Shameful thing, he had usually much more stamina than that. And when the wave rocked him, as his nuts pulled together and as he nearly blacked out for a second in the intensity of his orgasm. It was like he at the same time could not have cared any less about Aya’s discomforts and still had truly never loved him more than he did just then.

He collapsed on top of him, spent… He didn’t pull out, felt reluctant to. Felt that if he pulled out now he would maybe never be let back in again. Aya was still trembling a bit underneath him but was not rigid anymore, breathed again. His hands were still, hung limply in their bonds. Yohji, stroke Aya’s damp hair out of his forehead, he didn’t protest to it, he was still quiet. Yohji thought that maybe this had been one of the best fucks he had ever had and he had had countless. Didn’t know quite why this particular fuck out of many hundreds earned the gold medal. Technically it had been… not one of his best. Maybe because it had been so damn hard to come by? Yohji wasn’t used to having to fight for it so much. Maybe it was just because he… cared more about the one he fucked than he usually did? He wasn’t sure. He only knew that no matter how good it had been he had regained total sanity as soon as he came and that meant that he felt rather bad right now. Bad, yes, very guilty… and enormously happy. Happy because he knew, no matter how foggy he had been before he came, that Aya had answered to it. He had started to push back; he’d answered to his motions with similar motions of his own. He had… well maybe not exactly enjoyed it to the fullest. It seemed he was yet to climax… But it had not been all torture, eventually…

-Aya? Aya are you all right?

He didn’t actually expect an answer. He expected Aya to be furiously mad. But Aya didn’t seem to be angry.

-Yes… I’m fine… Will you please, he rattled the chains a bit, let me go?

Yohji actually blushed with shame at that simple request. The sight of Aya chained to his bed had turned him on like nothing else. Now it was like he wondered who that perverted maniac had been? He pulled out then, slowly, and sighed with relief as he saw that there was no blood at Aya’s behind. He would undoubtedly be sore as hell for a couple of days but at least Yohji had not destroyed anything. He reached for the keys and released Aya from the handcuffs. Aya took the keys and the handcuffs as soon as he was freed as if he didn’t trust Yohji with them and then he sat up at the bedside, wincing, back turned at him and rubbed at his sore wrists.

-Aya…

Yohji didn’t know what to say. He reached out to put a hand on his shoulder but it was like Aya could sense it coming. He ducked it, got up from the bed and pulled his pants on in a somewhat clumsy manner that wasn’t like him at all. Aya usually being lithe, agile and well balanced in all his movements. Then he headed for the door and Yohji didn’t think he would even turn to look at him once and felt very bad and hurt because of it. Though he did stop in the door and turned after all and then Yohji wished more than anything that he hadn’t. He thought he would remember that look for a very long time. Hate and hurt was all he saw in it… Hate and hurt

*

To say that Yohji felt bad about what had happen would be the understatement of the year. He couldn’t even begin to express how bad he felt even though he did his best to hide it. He had no other choice than to hide it for that matter. He couldn’t very well tell Ken and Omi that he had raped Aya. No he couldn’t do that. And since Aya himself had not been seen anywhere around for the last three days he had no one to try to apologise to either. Though he didn’t think a simple "I’m sorry" would suffice. He wasn’t even sure what really had happen. He had been so sure at the time that deep inside Aya wanted it, needed it. It had even seem logic… at the time. Right now he couldn’t really find that line of thinking in his head anymore.

And who the hell was he anyway to decide what Aya wanted or needed? But Aya had deserved it, hadn’t he? He had played with him, teased him. Strung him along, kept him hanging. Tried to manipulate him. Thought it had been so damn funny that Yohji developed a weakness for him that he could take advantage of… That little damn redhead had damn well got what he bloody well deserved and he had liked it. No matter what hateful glares he had given him when he had finally let him go he had at some point or another been squirming with lust and ground his ass against… Yohji had to will himself to stop thinking about it since it seemed to stir some life into his friend in his pants and that made him feel even worse. God he was such a pervert!

It shouldn’t matter how much of a tease Aya was; it shouldn’t matter if Aya’s body had betrayed him somewhere along the line. Yohji had overstepped a few lines of simple decency here and he knew it. What if it had been a woman? Would he had thought he had the right to chain a woman to his bed and fuck her just because she would be beautiful, flirt with him, wiggle her breasts in his face and then tell him no? No, Yohji knew he wouldn’t have thought that. He might have muttered under his breath what a bitch she was if he thought she did it in a manipulative way. But then he would forget about her and turn to the next woman. Yohji might think that there were a woman or two that maybe would have deserved the same treatment but it was not only that he thought there was enough women to go around not to bother with it. He had a sort of deep founded respect for the female sex and could not imagine he would ever have treated any woman like he had Aya. And he should really respect him more, shouldn’t he? Aya was not only his erotic interest, was he? No, foremost he was his colleague and he was his friend.

But maybe since Aya was not a woman he had felt he could take more? Or maybe it was just because he had become so damn desperate knowing that if he lost Aya… there would be no one else like him. Women lined up; there were always new women. There was only one Aya. Well, see where his desperate actions had got him. He had lost Aya and that as surely as if he had really tried to. Maybe he had? Maybe the fear of losing Aya was so strong he had rather arranged it than just sitting around waiting for it. Getting the inevitable over and done with? He really was very confused and he really wished Aya would just come back even if the thought of facing him scared the hell out of him…

*

It wasn’t exactly the most pleasant waking moment he’d experienced in his life, in spite of the fact that Aya sat on the bedside. Aya had stroked his cheek until he had wakened up. Aya was damn beautiful in the faint morning light of the room. Aya’s hair was a dark glowing red, set against his alabaster skin. Aya’s eyes glittered like a pair of cabochon amethysts. Aya actually had a smile on his lips. A rare sight indeed. It was hard to appreciate it when the coldness of a razor sharp Katana blade was pressed at your throat.

-Aya? What are you doing?

A very little voice. Yohji might have been ashamed of it if he had been able to feel anything else than all-consuming fear. Yohji knew fear. He lived a life that was full of it. He felt it on every mission they took because their missions were dangerous missions. He felt it every day between missions as well. Because there were always people that wanted them dead and there was no telling when they might strike. But that was a good fear. A natural fear that kept him on his toes. That made him careful. That made him dangerous to anyone or anything that would threaten him, or Ken or Omi… or Aya…

That fear did not paralyse him, this did. Aya still smiled but put a slender finger to his pretty, pretty lips.

-Shhhh…

The smallest movement of his arm and the blade pressed harder at his throat. The skin split. He felt a stinging sharp pain and a warm trickle of blood trailing his neck. It tickled… So this was his angel of death then? Very fitting, very suitable… If Aya had been angry, furious, mad he would not have felt this mortal dread but he smiled, just smiled.

Yohji wanted to plead, Yohji wanted to beg but he didn’t dare utter a sound, he didn’t even dare to swallow. The pressure was at its absolute limit. The slightest movement of his throat would make the blade slice it. Yohji hardly dared breathing. He was pleading with his eyes though. Aya just stared back in to those green wide eyes slowly filling up with tears. There was no telling what he was thinking.

Yohji could not tell how long Aya sat there holding the blade to his throat. But it felt like forever and eventually Yohji's fear almost gave way to a wish that he would get it over with already. He almost gave in to it. Maybe it was for the best…

Aya stopped smiling; all that mad brilliance of his eyes just went out. Yohji closed his eyes not wanting to look at Aya as he slit his throat. Didn’t want it to be the last thing he would see. His hands were shredding the sheets at his sides.

He didn’t register at first that the blade lifted from his throat. As he slowly understood it he opened his eyes. Aya still sat there, holding the blade up. Yohji could speak now, only he would not have found any words to say for the life of him. Aya slowly rose from the bed and without looking away from the figure in the bed he backed up to the chest of drawers beside the door and put the Katana on top of it.

Yohji was still too much in shock to even feel relieved. He stared at Aya like he stared at him and he couldn’t believe his eyes as Aya slowly started to undress. Was he really awake? Wasn’t all this just a dream? Aya couldn’t be standing there after all this taking his clothes off?

But he was, and he did. He threw his boots and socks in a corner. He pulled the tight black sleeveless tee over his head. He eased the black jeans over his hips and kicked them away. It was Yohji in a nutshell really; that a few minutes after he had seriously believed he would die… he was able to notice that Aya had not been wearing any underwear. Aya just stood there in all his naked glory. Yohji’s body was not as shocked as he himself was. His cock strained to make a tent of the bedcover.

-Aya? What? Why? What…?

He didn’t understand… anything. But his attempts to try to form some sort of question were abandoned as Aya again reached for the drawers. Yohji was not as paralysed this time. Aya was reaching for the blade, which was a totally different thing than waking up with that cursed thing at your throat. Aya armed with that sword was a very dangerous thing but being somewhat prepared one might stand a chance. At least someone like Yohji might. Already before Aya's fingers reached what it was searching for Yohji was planning moves in his head. Moves to avoid the attack, moves to knock the blade out of Aya’s hand if possible. Moves to stay alive. Instinct took over. He would defend himself first and demand answers later….

Only Aya didn’t reach for the Katana.

He didn’t have it in his hands when he came up to the bed. What he put on Yohji's chest as he sat down beside him again was cold and made of metal all right but the Katana was still perched on top of the drawer. Yohji looked down – the handcuffs, the diamond studded handcuffs? He had kept them? He looked up more bewildered than ever. Aya wasn’t looking at him anymore. His head was bowed; his hands were outstretched in front of him. The skin of his slim wrists was softer than a child’s and more transparent than pale. The blue veins showing down to the thinnest of arteries. An offer as plain as any.

Yohji still didn’t understand but he took the offer. Not for sexual reasons, his mind had not yet caught up with his body and he was almost not aware of the raging hard on he was sporting. He took it for his own safety right now. Because Aya seemed to have gone completely nuts and he wasn’t going to miss out on this chance to render him helpless. Wasn’t going to wait until he would turn murderous again. Why Aya suddenly surrendered like this was beyond him but he intended to take advantage of it.

He was a bit more brutal about it than necessary really. Maybe because it all started to sink in now. Aya had nearly killed him, he could have fucking killed him. Yohji was upset now, he was angry, he was hurt…

He caught Aya’s left wrist in a vice like grip and spun him around at the same time as he scrambled out of bed. He twisted Aya’s arm up on his back so hard it nearly snapped, forcing a cry of raw pain out of him. An agonised cry that was as soon muffled when he pressed him face down into the mattress. A hand at Aya’s neck pressing his face into the soft down comforter muffled it even more effectively… and cut off his breathing. Aya jerked in instinctive panic as Yohji was suffocating him. Not until he grew limp did Yohji let him get some air. Aya wheezed and coughed but neither protested nor tried to get away. Yohji seized the other arm then and locked the handcuffs into place. With a tug so forceful it drew blood on Aya’s wrists he forced him to his knees on the floor.

Aya took this as well without a word, still hanging his head. Yohji was mad almost out of control now. He wanted to beat that redheaded little bastard into pulp. What stopped him? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was simply his beauty? Hard to destroy such beauty no matter what, really… Maybe it was because, even though Aya had just tried to kill him, he honestly and deeply cared for him?

-Are you fucking out of your fucking mind you crazy little fuck…

Yohji was yelling now and wished there were a way to get more "fucks" into the sentence.

-What the hell were you trying to do? You wanted to murder me in my sleep you fucking coward?

Aya did not answer and Yohji grabbed a hold of his rich hair, shaking him furiously.

-You had better say something before I do something I’ll regret.

-I… I… Yohji… please… stop…

It took a while for Yohji to understand that Aya was actually trying to say something but that he wasn’t exactly giving him a chance as he was carrying on, shouting and shaking him. He forced himself to calm down then.

-Calm down Yohji, for goodness sake, you’ll wake the others up.

-Yeah and that would be a shame, wouldn’t it? Were you planning on slitting their throats next?

-Please Yohji, listen to me! I wouldn’t do that, you know that… I just came here… to tell you… that… from now on… you set the conditions…

Yohji just stared at the young man kneeling in front him.

-What?

A weak exclamation. And he hadn’t thought it possible to be more bewildered this morning than he had already been. Aya hung his head even more and whispered now.

-You were right… about me and… You were right, OK? I did tease you. You were right… in everything… I want this and… I… I need it…

Dead silence… Yohji opened his mouth, closed it…

-I’ll play no more games; I will not deny you… anything. You decide… you let me know what you want… you order… whatever you want to call it, I’ll obey… I’ll do anything, anything you want!

Yohji crouched beside him; putting a strong hand under his chin and making him look at him.

-What are you saying? I… don’t understand?

-What’s not to understand? You want to dominate me, right? It turns you on? Well, now you can. I’m telling you, you have my complete submission. It’s all for you and no one else. I can’t put it any clearer than that, can I?

There was no bitterness in Aya’s voice, no anger, no defeat. Just an expression of… Yohji wasn’t sure, could it be tenderness? He had never seen Aya looking like this before. Never seen such softness in his eyes.

-But…? But this? Yohji felt at the stinging wound at his throat and put the bloodied finger in front Aya’s eyes.

-What about this, you were trying to kill me!

-I just wanted you to know…

Aya's whisper was barely audible.

-…that you haven’t hurt my pride. That you never took anything from me. I am still the same. You don’t… don’t own me! I just wanted you to know and understand that I give you this of my own free will, because I want to… because I… love you…

Yohji took him in his arms then. He wanted to answer that, he really did but he choked out on his words.

Weiss Kreuz
Ars et Littera Fanaticus
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