The Infamous Pickaxe Story - Naruto Massive Roleplay Forum

Topic: The Infamous Pickaxe Story

I shall tell the magical rules of the pickaxe story... And maybe get some help writing them...

#1 Aug 11th 2006, 3:49pm

Okay, first you must be in the fic yourself, and need help writing... There must be a person/friend of yours that arrives and helps you write the fic, thus making a pickaxe story.

The 10 Rules/Restrictions for writing a Pickaxe Story:

1. Someone must be kicked all the way to the moon.

2. The person kicked to said moon, must then say that it is made of cheese.

3. Someone must explode.

4. Someone must have a chicken.

5. Someone must steal said chicken, thus making the owner say, "Come back with my chicken!"

6. Someone must ask, "Wanna hear a dirty joke?"

7. Said joke must be really stupid, like so: "A pig was rolling around in the mud!"

10.

Actually... There aren't any more rules. Just make sure the fic is really random and gets more random towards the end. That way you can be like, "OMG my computer won't delete!" or "Help, my computer is going to explode!" or "I didn't write that... I swear."

#2 Aug 11th 2006, 4:07pm . Edited Aug 11th 2006, 4:13pm

Finder77 will now attempt a pickaxe fic...

I sat at my computer staring at the luminecent screen.

'Naruto had just won the battle between good and evil...'

"No..." -delete delete delete-

'Tsunade was really drunk and she...'

"Nah..." -delete delete delete delete-

'Sasuke kissed Naruto on the lips for the second time and they...'

"Muahahahaha!" -delete delete delete-

"Hey what're you doing," my little brother came up and asked.

"Writing a fanfiction."

"Oh... I Kan Help!"

"No... You can't..."

"Oh, but I Kan!"

"Go away... Please..."

"-imitates Naruto theme song-"

"..."

"-air guitar solo-"

"Okay fine, dotard!"

#3 Aug 11th 2006, 4:26pm

I am sitting in fornt of my computerm, writting a ff and I'm in 'the zone'.

sammantha sits down in the chair next to mine and says,"I go poof!"

"You what? NOOO! My zone!" i panic!

"I go poof." she stated again

"wtf that means?"

"what does what mean?" she blinked.

"what you just said. the poof."

"oh! i am the queen of neeshpoof."

"ok..."

"kiss me kyle."

"say what?!"

"kiss me-"

"im not kyle! he's emo and wears his girlfriends pants!"

"KISS ME!!"

"Fine!" gropes her boobs"happy?"

"no."

"aaargh!" I pick the cold in cooked choken off of the cutting bored and throw it in her face.

"Hey!...you forgot the shaken bake.." she chidded

I throw the shaken bake but still uncooked chicken at her head. she dodges, rolls, and zpps me in the kneecaps with a tazer.

"Ah! my kicking leg! she zapped my kicking leg! why my kicking leg!? WHY!?" i collaps on the floor in pain and grief. Sam' steals my chiken.

"Hey! come back with my chicken!" I limp after her, mostly looking like im doing the worm.

(this was based off a true story. no uni-chickens were hurt during the making of this fic. Kids dont try this at home, that was proffesional shaken bake and these ppl were trained idiots!)

#4 Aug 11th 2006, 6:28pm

Yay!

#5 Aug 11th 2006, 6:57pm

It was a dark and stormy middle of Geometry class when Sakura decided to go for a walk around the courtyard.

"Where are you going?" asked Ms. Foley, but it was too late! Sakura had escaped! Milk was in the hallways! Monkeys were throwing ** at the evil vending machine behind the Medical Building!

"I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

NO! Travis don't commit suicide! Its bad for your health! But no one could stop him...Travis took the first step..

..and landed on...

...THE NEXT STEP!

"GET THE HELL OFF MY CHAIR CHARLEY BROWN!" Sakura said, swinging a random flyswatter at her empty seat at the lunch table.

"I wonder if Kakashi likes cheese sandwiches..." jordan pondered, staring at a picture of Kakashi. She smooshed her cheese sandwich into it, saying "EAT YOUR FOOD OR NO DESSERT!"

"WE SHOULD RE-NAME THE SCHOOL BAND 'Gaara' AND WEAR SHIRTS WITH CHIBI GAARA ON THEM! AND MAKE SANDCASTLES WITH OUR INSTRUMENTS!"

Suddenly, Daniel Rosman fell out of the sky and held up a clarinet. "I will now make...THE WORLDS LARGEST CLARINET TOWER!!!!"

Then everyone exploded...

..just kidding!

(these are based off actual events at our lunch table, in band, and in our group fanfiction)

#6 Aug 15th 2006, 5:51pm

Me: "There are too many emo kids at our school."

Rebecca: "Yeah."

Me: "We should do something about it."

Rebecca: "Yeah.."

Me: "Like...drop a nuke made of silly putty and old Algebra tests on them.."

Rebecca: "Yeah...wait, what?!"

Me: "...and handcuffs...can't forget the handcuffs..."

(actual conversation between me and my friend rebecca....there were like 100 emo kids around us...it was freaky..)

#7 Aug 15th 2006, 5:54pm

Yay! But seriously... You gotta love emo kids... Especially the ones where, if you be all preppy-cheerleader-happy around them, they get ANGRY! I like the word angry. ANGRY! Maybe it's just the way I say it. I all, tense up my face, bare my teeth and yell it. Yay! I really don't know what the hell kind of person I would be... Because I'm smart, happy, have friends, like myself, don't do drugs, have a unique but good fashion sense, I get bored at musical insruments even though I'm good at them, but love to sing, enjoy writing, but don't enjoy doing assigned things... Hmm... -ponders- Oh and I think weird things in my head... For example: I really don't like blood... but I tend to think about it a lot... -ponders more-

#8 Aug 15th 2006, 6:34pm

My head is made of chocolate, my brain is made of squish...

...every time I go to the bathroom I hear a dying fish...

Song by JJ

#9 Aug 16th 2006, 7:29pm

Der? Which JJ?

#10 Aug 19th 2006, 11:25am

Mah friend JJ from 5th grade...

..we were trading Pokemon cards and he started singing that.

#11 Aug 19th 2006, 8:16pm

Weird. I thought you meant JoJo or Janet Jackson.

#12 Aug 19th 2006, 8:18pm

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a girl with green hair because...well, maybe it got grass stains or something. We really have no idea, but here, have some cake! -gives cake-

"Stop writing and make me coffee!"

"Shut up, Ceras, I'll make you coffee when I feel like it."

So me and Ceras fought over the remote and I won and hid it in the weaselcage.

"MY WEASELS BRING ALL THE ANTS TO TEH YARD, AND THEIR LIKE, GIMME TAPIOCA PUDDING!"

-fin?-

#13 Aug 20th 2006, 7:39am . Edited Aug 20th 2006, 7:41am

Note: Ceras is my friend's nickname. Ironically, its also the name of a character in Hellsing. But she has never watched Hellsing so I guess its just hitsuzen.

#14 Aug 20th 2006, 7:43am

I've never seen Hellsing. What's hitsuzen?

#15 Aug 20th 2006, 11:01am

'Hitsuzen' is what most people call 'coincidence'. But since I believe there is no such thing as coincidence, and that everythign happens for a reason, I use the xxxHolic-publicised word 'hitsuzen'.

#16 Aug 20th 2006, 5:37pm

Personally I think the word Hitsuzen sounds nice. What's xxxHolic-publicised? And why do you believe everything happens for a reason? (Not that I have a problem with that. Just wondering.)

#17 Aug 20th 2006, 5:58pm

xxxHolic-publicised means it wasn't a very well-known word until the manga xxxHolic used it and now everyone thinks they know what it means, but most of them do not. (I do.)

I believe that because if it didn't happen for a reason, then we would have no purpose. Also, don't you regreat making mistakes, yet you learn from them? So they happened for a reason, correct?

#18 Aug 20th 2006, 6:10pm

I dunno, my brother doesn't learn from mistakes. But I do understand what you're saying. ... I don't know what I believe. Does that mean I don't believe anything?

#19 Aug 20th 2006, 6:26pm

No, it just means you haven't decided on one surefire thing to believe yet.

#20 Aug 20th 2006, 8:23pm

Okay... Woo for me!

#21 Aug 21st 2006, 3:26pm

*dances in a circle*

#22 Aug 21st 2006, 7:34pm

*dances in a square*

#23 Aug 25th 2006, 11:02am

*dances in an equilateral triangle*

#24 Aug 25th 2006, 7:12pm

*dances in an octagon*

#25 Aug 25th 2006, 8:20pm

*Dances idiosyncratically*

#26 Aug 26th 2006, 5:22pm

*falls to the floor in a spasm!*

#27 Aug 29th 2006, 9:43pm

*Moves furniture out of way so Sneere doesn't kill herslf*

#28 Aug 30th 2006, 9:17am

*dances with Obito and throws Sasuke out a window*

#29 Sep 02nd 2006, 5:57pm

*calls ambulance for Sneere*

#30 Sep 02nd 2006, 8:00pm

*recieves mouth-to-mouth from temari*

#31 Sep 02nd 2006, 9:37pm

*is scared* Why does everyone just assume Temari is a lesbian? I've never understood that. She doesn't seem like a lesbian to me. And she totally thought Sasuke was hot the first time she met him.

#32 Sep 03rd 2006, 12:25pm

*flais wildly and foams at the mouth*

#33 Sep 03rd 2006, 1:44pm

*runs away screaming from rabid Sneere*

#34 Sep 05th 2006, 5:47pm

*mistakes her for an uchiha and chases after here* "Your milkshake won't save u this time scooby-doo-doo!"

#35 Sep 06th 2006, 4:01am