Not sure if this in the right area, but I'd like someone to critique two OC's I made for my story, "Power Ranger Legends." Just to tell me if I've made unrealistic characters.
They are both related to Zordon, brothers.
The first is Azazel. In the plot of the story, Azazel is the main antagonist. He's immensely powerful and went insane prior to the story. In my fic, he has no problem with killing whoever gets in his way, even killing his own henchmen violently. At times, he has brief moments of sanity, where he questions his actions. These are short lived though, and forgotten as soon as they happen.
Zephyr is the other brother, and the youngest of the three. (Azazel is the oldest, Zordon the middle) He's as fast as Azazel is strong and haunted by the fact that Azazel killed someone very dear to him. His goal throughout the story is to find and stop Azazel, preferrably by killing him. He calls the original team together to help him, and takes on a sort of surrogate form of Zordon.
I've attempted to write both as being the most powerful characters in the story, but flawed enough to keep them from being too much. Azazel is insane and Zephyr is full of blind rage and uncertainty. they're not perfect Adonis' in appearance either. (Both are heavily scarred all over their body. Azazel is scarred on his face.) I've hoped that they are not far-fetched within the context of the source material, but I'd like someone to give me an honest opinion.3/29/2011 #1
|Michelle the Editor
These sound like cool characters, though naturally it could tip into Gary Stu-ness. What you have to beware of is probably making Zephyr's actions all righteous and/or necessary or making him steal the spotlight--though from your description, this sounds unlikely. Azazel you have to build up his fearsomeness, not just make the Rangers shake in their shoes after he appears and throws some threats around. Just don't make either one the most powerful being in Power Rangers--or nearly so--and this should work out well.4/29/2011 #2
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