♠WoW: Worst Reviews♠ - The Fireplace Forum

Topic: ♠WoW: Worst Reviews♠

You now what I'm talking about--the "liek zomg! u r da bomb!1!!11 plez wright more and upd8 soon, k? u r so on my favrate list!1!!!!!1 i luv snaaaaape!11!1!"

Feel free to post them here.

Reviews like that are where I find a lot of new customers.

#1 Mar 27th 2007, 12:07pm . Edited Jul 14th 2007, 5:28pm

Hmmm... Has anyone else noticed my new fic has disappeared?

And yes, I realize this isn't an appropriate topic to place my shite under, but I wanted it to be at the top...

Plus you stole hibity-dibity from me, bastard!

#2 Mar 27th 2007, 12:51pm

Profile formerly known as SW

It's probably because the site is still fucking up. Fics I reviewed disappeared (story not found) then came back then disappeared.

It better come back, damn it!

I pinned a shitload of topics to get them back on top and so spam topics will stay at the bottom of the forum. I miss all the fun topics! Hell, I had forgotten about my own Pussycat Dolls story because it was on like page 3.

#3 Mar 27th 2007, 1:09pm

Here's one for ya.

"I think u have a great idea w/ writing a parody 4 all three books!I really liked it and u should continue!=D very good

I also love how galadriel is so opiniated(she almost NEVER is)and feminist.

AllAmericanPirate

P.s Have you ever thought of doing a ...a Princess Bride or any REALLY good story parody?"

Yes, yes, we'd all love it if you could write even one "REALLY good story parody" rather than the crap you posted. Sorry Flame this is one you've already burned, I'll try to find you some fresh meat to roast.

#4 Mar 27th 2007, 1:24pm

Profile formerly known as SW

Yes, I've never seen Galadriel "opiniated" either. It sounds....painful.

God, when will people learn that numbers are not letters?

Good review to add here. I'm starting to like this un-spammed topic!

#5 Mar 27th 2007, 1:28pm

And this one brought to you from the review board of "Vendetta"

"dont have too much to say about this one, its basically what i sed before in the last chapter. so yeah just watch the typos and your good! ~Satouki"

Do watch those typos, and don't let the capitals bite you either.

The damn story link won't work, so the ID is 3218804. The site is really fking messed up today, very frustrating.

#6 Mar 27th 2007, 1:57pm

Well, I saw a review once along the lines of "I dident read ur story, but I felt bad 4 u becuz u didn't have any reviews, so I'm reviewing! Yaays!"

I guess the sentiment is kind of nice (if a little back-handed), but I'd still be pretty irritated if it had been my story. At least the "stop writting, u sick lebo" review I got on an Incredibles femmeslash fic gave some indication that they read the damn thing. Either that, or they just saw the pairing and went apeshit based on that, but I'd like to keep my delusions here. ^^;;

#7 Mar 27th 2007, 2:03pm

What's a "lebo"? ;)

God I live when ignorant people display their stupidity further.

I've seen reviews like the first one you listed. Especially like this: "why didnt u come to skool 2today? Matts relly mad at u! hee-hee! oh, i didn't read ur storie but upd8 sooooon!"

#8 Mar 27th 2007, 2:12pm

"Reported!

(Because you insulted Lemmywinks by comparing him to Like a Lemon)."

Worst review ever.

Oh, and my 'stroie' is back!!

#9 Mar 27th 2007, 3:34pm . Edited Mar 27th 2007, 3:35pm

Really? I thought this was your worst:

Yes! Optimus Prime!

You are now an official hero!

Hero? Pfft.

#10 Mar 27th 2007, 3:39pm

You're just jealous because I'm busy being a hero while you're all washed up with your petty Pussycat Dolls POS.

Suck it up, Flamekins. =P

#11 Mar 27th 2007, 3:42pm

Jealous? Me? *I* have an Internet child, birthed after an m-preg, currently being raised by a boy band, and you're the hero of one anonymous viewer who likes robots.

I think NOT!

#12 Mar 27th 2007, 3:51pm

Actually, he's no longer being raised by a boy band, he died of an IBS attack... somehow.

Jeez, pay attention.

And in light of the topic, I'd like to digress. The fact all 4 reviews I've received for the LoTR story I posted last week are somewhat illiterate (not to mention 3 are from a chick who I swear is stalking me) is a little disheartening. I checked the stats and it's had 200+ hits, but no one's reviewing. I hate to say it, but I feel a little review whoring coming on if someone doesn't soon appreciate my masterpiece...

#13 Mar 27th 2007, 4:05pm . Edited Mar 27th 2007, 4:07pm

Link it.

Then check your PMs, legume whore.

#14 Mar 27th 2007, 4:09pm

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3449889/1/

Link it, you say? Well seeing as how I'm only able to get into this thread when FF.net decides they've douched around enough, and I would have to actually go read the thread about linking in order to do that, I'll just paste the url instead and you can link the hell out of it if you'd like.

#15 Mar 27th 2007, 4:16pm . Edited by Flame Rising, Mar 27th 2007, 4:19pm

Red Panda Bear

I hate it when people ask you to update even though you've made it clear the story is a one-shot.

#16 Mar 27th 2007, 4:17pm

Eww, fancy shmancy.

#17 Mar 27th 2007, 4:20pm

I hate it when people ask you to update even though you've made it clear the story is a one-shot.

I've seen that a lot, or something like "Can't wait for chapter two!". Shows how carefully they read.

Eww, fancy shmancy.

Damn strait. Who's LadyLilyMalfoy? She really likes reviewing you.

#18 Mar 27th 2007, 4:22pm

Read my profile, she started harassing me for critiquing people. Even though I've never critiqued her... or any of her friends, as far as I know.

#19 Mar 27th 2007, 4:25pm . Edited Mar 27th 2007, 4:26pm

What's a "lebo"? ;)

After a quick Google, I have concluded that a lebo either a type of bean native to Sweden, an electronics company, or the ancient god of football, pork rinds, and beer. I sure hope they meant the third one. :D

"Reported!

(Because you insulted Lemmywinks by comparing him to Like a Lemon)."

Worst review ever.

...the hell? Wow, that's, um, certainly a special review. When reporting for half-baked reasons reaches a new level, huh?

#20 Mar 27th 2007, 4:28pm

Actually that was a review from none other than FR himself. =P

He was trying to be a bastard.

#21 Mar 27th 2007, 4:31pm

Whoops! That'll teach me to reply without knowing the inside jokes! Eheh, sorry. ^_^;;

#22 Mar 27th 2007, 4:33pm

Damn it, I want to be a Swedish bean!

"Reported!

(Because you insulted Lemmywinks by comparing him to Like a Lemon)."

Worst review ever.

Oh--that was a joke review I left Bron-Y on a story. She posted a story about me as a joke and someone named "A Stickler for the Rules" left a review that said "Reported!" on it.

#23 Mar 27th 2007, 4:33pm

Red Panda Bear

I've seen that a lot, or something like "Can't wait for chapter two!". Shows how carefully they read.

Then after that they put it on their alert. 5 months later they PM you and ask why you haven't updated.

#24 Mar 27th 2007, 4:34pm

I wonder if they can these Swedish beans...

#25 Mar 27th 2007, 4:39pm

Silver Drift

Whoops! That'll teach me to reply without knowing the inside jokes! Eheh, sorry. ^_^;;

Don't worry--even I don't know half of them myself.

#26 Mar 27th 2007, 4:40pm

Silver Drift

I just got here and I'm still learning!

#27 Mar 27th 2007, 4:41pm

Silver Drift

Flame, I figured you wouldnt mind me still posting here? I never said anything bad about you.

#28 Mar 27th 2007, 4:44pm

I wonder if they can these Swedish beans...

Cheating on the limas, are we? What would Optimus Prime think of that, hm?????

Flame, I figured you wouldnt mind me still posting here? I never said anything bad about you.

I don't care what you do as long as you don't cause problems. And how would you know any inside jokes to begin with? You've been here....what, a whole day?

#29 Mar 27th 2007, 4:52pm

Unless he/she was here all along and just didn't post... which apparently a lot of people do.

*Shifty eyes* We know you're watching!!

#30 Mar 27th 2007, 4:57pm

That's true.

Creepy, but true.

So, explain the LadyLily thing to me, then....? Is she being facetious in her reviews on your LoTR story?

#31 Mar 27th 2007, 5:03pm

I get a lot of badly written reviews. Even threats.

=3= update or ill kill you =3= That's SO sweet. I got it for... three chapters?

AW! thats sad! oh well...update I just SAID the story was finished.

678yui:keep the kind

julie:going story of

kiki:daisy is cool.

()

()()()()()

()()()()() Even now, I don't know what it means.

i feel like reveiwing for this story again but theres only 1 reveiw for a chapter... but i went to the chapter before it muhahahaha! ok hurry up and get to Lees b-day! his is november 27! how do i know this... i just do

That's the last one I'M going to post before I overload this page.

#32 Mar 27th 2007, 5:04pm

No, that's the scary thing. She means it. I think I'd be more comfortable if she was being sarcastic.

God damn, read my profile if you want the whole story!

#33 Mar 27th 2007, 5:07pm

678yui:keep the kind

julie:going story of

kiki:daisy is cool.

()

()()()()()

That person is a nominee under "Worst Fic EVA!" (678yuijuliekikiwhateverthefuck). I think you take the cake so far for the worst reviews. I especially like the death threats.

#34 Mar 27th 2007, 5:09pm

God damn, read my profile if you want the whole story!

I tried but it's like 40 fucking pages long! (Your Bron-Y file, right?).

Edit: Okay, I just read through--I still don't understand why the fuck she gave those reviews (oh, sorry, to use her terminology, "reviws"). Was she trying to show you that nice "reviws" exist? So fucking what? What an idiot. Wow....I feel badly now that I'm not the only one with a stalker.

#35 Mar 27th 2007, 5:12pm . Edited Mar 27th 2007, 5:19pm

Skip to the PMs she sent me, you douche!!

And it's definitely no worse than your profile.

Hey, I got a review from that juliekiki*insert millions of shit names here* person... Sadly, it wasn't as amusing as yours.

#36 Mar 27th 2007, 5:17pm

Read my edit, Swedish bean fucking whore!!!!

#37 Mar 27th 2007, 5:19pm

The worst part is now she's begun sending me PMs on both accounts. *Shudder*

Did you like the part where she promised not to review my story if she found it... and then she reviewed 3 different times with the promise of further reviews when I updated?

Btw, did ya read my fic? Huh, did ya?

#38 Mar 27th 2007, 5:30pm . Edited Mar 27th 2007, 5:30pm

No--but I will.

I sent you a PM, whore, and you didn't respond.

WHORE!

I'll go read your fic. Yeah--I noticed how she still reviewed after saying she wouldn't. What a freak that she keeps PMing you.

#39 Mar 27th 2007, 5:33pm

I -just- checked my email, turd face! (How original, eh?)

I'm going to have to work on some better insults...

#40 Mar 27th 2007, 5:37pm

=3= update or ill kill you =3=

Wow, I really like the little kissy-face thingies along with the threats, just for that extra touch of class.

Although, nothing beats the Random Punctuation Trio. Don't you just love when their multiple personalities burst forth in incoherent glory JUST as they're reviewing?

#41 Mar 27th 2007, 5:44pm

That person is a nominee under "Worst Fic EVA!" (678yuijuliekikiwhateverthefuck). I think you take the cake so far for the worst reviews. I especially like the death threats. I nominated them. And dude, just skip through my reviews and you'll find 100,0,0,0,0,00,0 of them (LOL. Forgot where I got those.)

#42 Mar 27th 2007, 5:53pm

FeintingFox

I've seen this guy review quite a few fics JyouraKoumi Every review of his I saw was:

"coo mon..."

"coo chap mon..."

"nice chap mon..."

"coo! peace..."

and any combination of 'coo' 'peace' nice''yo' 'chappy' 'peaceout then''sicc' and 'mane~' The worst thing of all is that he reviews every single chapter of the fic like that

#43 Mar 27th 2007, 6:57pm

Oh God... My eyes... I think I've been blinded by the 'gangsta'-ness of that profile... and all the spelling errors... Holy shit! *Hyperventilating*

I need to kick the shit!

#44 Mar 27th 2007, 7:06pm

FeintingFox

I know! It's absolutely horrible!

#45 Mar 27th 2007, 7:09pm

I don't think I even KNOW gangsters who say that, let alone go on a site like FanFiction.

What a wangsta.

do you eat altoids? Geez, I wonder what kind of review is that. And no, they give me a funky feeling of nausea and disgustingness.

-takes a deep, deep, deep breath-

-GET ON YOUR EAR PLUGS LIKE NOW!-

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! NOW YOU SEE WHY YOU'RE ON OUR FAVORITE AUTHORS LIST! -dies from laughter-

Coroner- Gee whiz, what happened?

Dead me- Points to this story.-

Coroner- Dies T.T Oh, so sad

Some random dude- Quick! Someone get a coroner for the coroner! Be awed by my reviews.

#46 Mar 27th 2007, 7:53pm

To show how much I'm loved:you weirdo freak! what gives you the right to kill my naruto with aids! i hope you die you beast-turd!

Aww, I'm a weirdo-freak! *Hearts* Thank you for explaining me in a word. Yes, this IS fanfiction, if I can remember, so I DO have the right to kill Naruto with AIDS all I like. YOU WANT ME TO DIE! *Hearts even more* But sadly, "beast-turd" isn't very threatening, for I HAVE seen beast-turd.

You're tied with MasterDevilBlade for the Most Threatening Flame Reward! Even though his was just:

Flame. (Ooh, threatening, I know!)

... Now people are calling my stories gay, yet they like it. What gay douches.

#47 Mar 27th 2007, 8:12pm

A Dose of Sanity

I left concrit on some sonic fanbrat's mary sue story because I was having a good day and she completely flipped out because I was "omg flamming!" her so she hit up all of my stories with flames (some getting hit 2 to 3 times each). Out of them all was this little gem:

and you call yourself an aother_

I can just imagine the twelve year old furiously banging her elbows on the keyboard in anger during her retaliation. That's the only way I can imagine her seriously typing and overlooking such a sexual assault against the English language as "aother_" There's a chevron in the misspelling too but it doesn't show up.

A more recent review wasn't left on any of my stories but on someone's story in the SSB fandom:

ts pretty good even though Sonic isn't a nintendo character but The True Star Warrior is alot better than this it makes this story look like Avatar:The Last Airbender.(yawn)

I did some research on this "Twanny Boy" fellow and it seems that he's obsessed with pretending like he isn't himself. He constantly refers to himself in the third person and it turns out "The True Star Warrior" is his own shitty story that he's been advertising in reviews for other people's stories. Hell, he even reviewed his own story (twice) and even those reviews suck ass.

#48 Mar 28th 2007, 1:22pm . Edited Mar 28th 2007, 1:25pm