Yeah. Um, okay. There appears to be a lot of crappitidy happening in some people's lives here, so I thought we'd try to balance that out a little. It may seem a little strange coming from me since I cause massive self-esteem failure in anyone ten and under, but you know, what the fuck, right?

This forum isn't a place of sunshine and shit, but I notice a lot of people are having problems in their lives, and I thought now and then we could try to make them smile.

Don't allow this to make you think I have a heart. I don't. It's well documented by all the emo-ing I have caused in the 13-18 year-old demographics.

Happy Fun Time Shit:

I watched a bird shit right on some guy's head as he walked down the street at lunch today.

I laughed.

That fucking made me laugh, Flame Rising. Thank you. Truly from my heart. =]

EDIT: I'm still laughing, dammit. Now I can commute back home with a smile.

I watched a bird shit right on some guy's head as he walked down the street at lunch today.

I laughed.

You toad! LOL! Okay, I am also a toad. Or is that a toadette? O.o

I just read an email that made me laugh so hard I almost had an asthma attack. I'm still laughing!

Ohhhhhh, duuuuuuuuuude. F/R, you are possibly the single most amazing person in my life right now. xDDD

HFTS: We had a discussion at my lunch table about secret kinks one of my friends has and kept making fun of her for it.

MHFTS: I finally know when I take driver's training and next year, I take a class worth 3 credits so I don't have that many other classes next year.

EMHFTS: I got several pieces of my art in the recent art show. :3

I think I will like this thread. |D

Don't allow this to make you think I have a heart.

So can we think of other things to make us think you relatively care for us? XDDDD

F/R = cool.

HFTS: I got to say hi to my classmates today! Sucks that I won't see them until next year.

MHFTS: My cousin came to see us! And she didn't bring her boyfriend!

EMHFTS: OMGOMGOMG NATM 2 WILL INDEED EXIST! It's apparently called 'Escape From The Smithsonian'. Fangirl side = pacified.

Good shit that happened to me today:

1. I made someone laugh.;)

2. I got to watch a nest of little birds fledge this morning. I love that sort of good shit.:))

Good shit that happened today...

I saw my friend chug a whole litre of gatorade in 3 seconds.......then laughed when I saw him upchuck it.

I have a sick sense of humor, no pun intended. :P

Wow.....Blur......that's special.

Good stuff that happened today:

-S's scary girlfriend did not give me the death look today

- Had a fun conversation in creative writing about sex and cults and weird shit like that.

HFTSTMML: Fab's "Diary of a Dog and Cat" in the Pit thread.

Ooooooh!

I finished my Ariel Schrag book and it was wonderful. And I tried that bottled root beer float thing and it was wonderful as well, even though I'll probably go into some manner of diabetic shock just for drinking it. And I had a smoothie tonight that was very good - all peanutty and bananas and honey and yogurt kicking ass. And House was on tonight. And I ate lunch with a new group. And I had cold sesame peanut noodles for breakfast. And I had a good workout tonight, and no creepy old guys looked at me in the gym. Oh wait. Yes they did. Never mind, but it was still a good workout. And then I had dark chocolate. DAMN I'M JUST A RAY OF SUNSHINE TODAY

I should eat less sugar.

Starting tomorrow of course. Or maybe next week, or the week after, or in a few years.

F/R, I would have laughed my ass off too...;)

HFTS: My twin sister/beta reader is SITTING AT WORK WITH ME RIGHT NOW!

I hope the boss isn't expecting the building to be standing by tomorrow morning...;)

HFTS: My House pretty much won PAF. The competitive bitch inside me is cackling with glee at beating all the other houses... :D

A mate of mine snogged a girl this Bank Holiday weekend, but he was so drunk, he foget who she was. Apart from the fact that her name was Sue and he had her mobile number! So we spend yesterday evening taking the piss out of him! That amused us!

OMG, Hamfast, that's GREAT.

Happy time good shit: My friend got a puppy!

And 'tis adorable as hell.

Oooh go happy thread.

I finally remember Jessica's name. I was trying to memorize it all year.

HFTS: having synchronised weirdness. First, me and 7 of my friends walked up and down stairs in lines, then we skipped up the stairs, then we just walked around the canteen block (well, marched...I showed the how...and we spent half an hour marking time because some idiot wouldn't MOVE), then we did the conga down the curvy ramp at our school, and then I think most of us collapsed laughing. Oh, and we group-glomped some Year 12s.

And I glomped Z and he fell over. It was funny coz we fell into a bush and he had a stick in his hair and nobody told him.

Good times. *nod*

EMHFTS: having a discussion going from everyone's opinions on lesbianism/homosexuality/bisexuality eventually turning into a discussion of sadomasochism, and BDSM in general. Apparantly, I'm a masochist with sadistic tendencies and a fetish for both biting and being bitten. Then I scared everyone by commenting that some gory horror movie was actually rather...er...aesthetically pleasing. So then we started talking about horror movies...and so on.

And everyone laughed when some weird psycho-religious person came up to us and gave the whole 'homosexuality is a [insert your choice of insult here] perversion of nature/the body/[insert adjective here]' speech, and we kindly 'informed' the poor lady that K was lesbian, S and J were gay, and the rest of us were bisexual (in reality, none of us have a definite idea and none of us really care anyway. We're open-minded people).

Needless to say, her face was PRICELESS.

I love pranking religious nuts. It's just too much fun. I know I shouldn't be so mean to them, but...c'mon...the tempation...it's so easy to freak them out...

HFTS: Some guy walking in front of me tripped up the stairs and landed on his ass.

He also dropped two dollars.

I got a free laugh and extra pocket change.

Post #2404 in the Firepit. XD I woke up to it this morning, and I had to try not to awaken my husband with my laughing.

HFTS: After 2 or 3 years of not knowing what it was called, last night I finally discovered the name of a song I wanted so badly!

Like, I had been obsessively searching for it for a while now-- it's quite pathetic. I originally saw it through a Gaara AMV but it said the song was by t.A.T.u. (which I didn't believe for a second) and eventually, the AMV was taken down. Mind you, I saw this certain video like 3 years ago. xDDD

(The song, for those who are curious, is "Cruel" by Tori Amos, though I think the one I originally listened to may have been a remix.)

MHFTS: I don't have to go to school tomorrow until 9:30. :D

HFTS: I spent an entire four hours primping and grooming myself today. I washed my hair extra special and made curls; did yoga; watched cartoons; put on nail polish; rode my brother's bike around the park; ate a lot of ice cream; for once used my mother's facial mask thingies; and took a really good nap in my hammock.

I feel awesome!

Now to finish my homework...

HFTS:

We are about to enter the summer soon and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

BBQ Rules...(1)The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and dessert.(3)The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, a nd takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine.... (5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again: (7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....(8)The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.as well as another beer for the man. (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all: (10)Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIMfor his cooking efforts. (11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

GSTHTMT: Reading Fabs BBQ rules and laughing until I got hiccups.:)

Fabs, that was awesome! XDD

And now, you all have heard of blond jokes, but ever hear of a blond man joke? ;)

I dunno if this will guarantee some lulz but whatever. XD

An Irish man, a Mexican man and a blond man are all sitting on a bridge, ready to eat lunch. The Irish man opens up his lunch and sees a corned beef sandwich. He gets angry and says, "If I get a corned beef one more time, I'll jump off this bridge!"

The Mexican opens up his lunch and finds a burrito inside. Like the Irish man, he gets mad as well and says, "If I get a burrito one more time, I'll jump off this bridge!"

The blond opens up his lunch and finds a bologna sandwich. He too also gets angry and yells, "If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'll jump off with you!"

The next day, they all open their lunches: the Irish man finds a corned beef in his sandwich and jumps off the bridge. The Mexican finds a burrito in his and jumps off as well. Finally, the blond finds a bologna sandwich and joins his friends to the water below.

At their funerals, the Irish man's wife tearfully wails, "Oh, if I would have known he didn't like corned beef, I would have packed him something else!" The Mexican's wife sniffles and says, "If I would have known he didn't like burritos, I too would have packed him something else."

The blond man's wife is not crying and is the recipient of a lot of stares.

"What? He packed his own lunch."

And if this didn't make you laugh, laugh at the fact I tried telling a joke. XD;;;

Fabs, that was just fabulously funny. xDD

HFTS: Here's a little story I came upon online:

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic was available to respond to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... Smack his ass again!"

EDIT: *giggles at Crimsy's story* xDD

I watched a bird shit right on some guy's head as he walked down the street at lunch today. I laughed.

I was drinking lemonade when I read that.

...I now have lemonade on my keyboard. *is emo*

My HFTS: FIELD TRIP! We're going to see "Midsummer Night's Dream" for English class tomorrow. SCORE!

Oh, and my last paycheck was HUGE, so I'm buying movie posters for my room!~~~~~~~

HFTS: When I post in the wrong thread. ;]

MHFTS: Letting people borrow stuff!

This is new. Let me try...

HFTS: I finally got to go for a drive in my Dad's custom-built jeep. We didn't go far, but that's hardly the point. That thing is a beast! I want one.

HHFTS: I may have figured out the cause of my insomnia.

MHHFTS: I have an idea for a parody, but I need a video camera, a big city, and a shitload of CGI.

HFTSTMML: Writing my X-Files fan fiction.

And if this didn't make you laugh, laugh at the fact I tried telling a joke. XD;;;

NO WAI I loooove that joke I tell it all the time!!! My dad taught it to me. He teaches me tons of offensive jokes.

H.F.T.S. YAY!: All the seniors in my school are gone! :D I officially declare myself Not a Freshman Anymore. Plus I got a 93 on a math quiz I thought I semi-bombed. Plus I painted my fingernails bright orange.

Oh, wait, wait, EDIT: More H.F.T.S. Yay: Returning to this forum. Oh, I miss it and you people much. I long for it in the long hour in my computer class where fanfiction.net is blocked by that hideous school filter.

HFTS: I ate a dairy milk bar.

more HFTS: Had a fun conversation about sex, prom, Jesus and Harry Potter in creative writing class.

HFTSTMML: Buns catching my egregious grammar error in my X-Files fic.

HFTS: Telephone scatologia is total, utter win.

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

HFTS: Discovering a new OTP. :D

I have been doing better than I have expected in my new school, and have got an equal average of both As and Bs. I'm so pleased, and I even have a group of friends to hang out with! This is so different from my previous school where I barely even talked to anyone at all because I could not get along with them. Yet, I'm so much happier in my new school, and they even have IGs that I want to join!

More weird conversations this morning (sex, BDSM, BDSM and the law, the practicality of tying down a 6'1" guy to a bed that is only 5' long, the practicality of pissing off D&S, nerdcore, techno, sex, songs about sex, deodorant, and finally ending on a high note: mobile phones).

Also I finally made a motion tween work in Flash!

HFTSTMMWAMS: Reading dartigen's post.;)

HFTS: Making SW happy.

MHFTS: M MESSAGED ME! Even if we only did talk about Melbourne (we decided that the first night we're both in Melbourne together we're going to go walking around the CBD at midnight - coz Melbourne is so pretty at night) it's still awesome.

HHFTS: M can't spell when he's sleepy. It took him three tries to get Melbourne right. How he can be sleepy at 9pm is beyond me, but I'm just an insomniac.

HFTSTMMWAMS

Happy fun time shit that made me want a meat sandwich?

GSTHTMT: I got a perfect score on my history paper. I got a book to read. I had some great soup. I did a test in the time alloted.

HFTS: I finally got my winter skirt to sit at a length that doesn't make me look like either a nun or a slut. :)

HFTS: Windows open, speakers all the way up, blasting Click Five at pedestrians. God, I love spring.

(Yes, I listen to them. Only one song. And only 'cause someone recced it at me.)

HHFTSOTY: SPRING!!!!!!!1

MHHFTSTMMFGAWAWPAOLIOT: The house is clean and it feels good!

HFTSTMML: I had a dream that I was on Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey was making us cook in the back of a Walmart. I won by making Eggos.

HFTSTMML: I had a dream that I was on Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey was making us cook in the back of a Walmart. I won by making Eggos.

The thought of you making Eggos just cracks me up. xDDDDD

GSTHTMT: Photoshop.

Photoshop always makes me happy. :)

5. Different boy problem. Okay, you’ve been blatantly flirting with me. Blatantly. THIS BETTER FRIGGIN LEAD TO SOMETHING OR I’LL MELON BALL YOUR EYES OUT.

Heh heh. Eggos with WHAT? Surely not plain, ick. I watched about a half hour of Hell's Kitchen AKA Mean Chef Makes Grown Men and Women Cry. There's that one guy who looks like he's in a constant state of being about to burst into tears. First time I saw the show non-The Soup.

HFTS: ICE CREAM.

HFTS: I got an A on my math quiz!

Oh, MortCy, huzzah, so did I! (-smart people high five-)

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