Edit 6 Dec: For general critique, you should now tell us why you want your story critiqued instead of just a link. See below for details.)

Okay, I know we've got like...5/6 pinned topics already, but I've noticed a lot of people asking this question, and instead of having lots of topics asking the same question, I thought I'd 'centralise' it, in a way.

So, ask the question here: Why don't I have reviews?

Please note: This is not the place to ask for reviews, it is to ask why.

As always, self-plugs go in their appropriate threads (read rules and regulations for more info) and any posts here that are not in topic will be deleted.

You can also ask for general constructive criticism on your story here. The question would be open for everyone on the site to answer. Don't just post a link to your story, tell us why you want your story critiqued. Do you have too little reviews? Reviewers giving conflicting advice? Not sure about the style or tone? Want critique on technical/style mistakes only? Note that if you post a link without any explanations the mods have the right to delete the post.

Below are a few general suggestions as to why your story might not have any reviews. If you have something to add to this list, do tell me and I'll edit as necessary. And, of course, if you're wondering why you don't have reviews, do read the suggestions listed before asking your question ^_^ otherwise we might not bother to answer. I get annoyed at redundancy.

At the very bottom of the post I've listed writing websites that you may find useful in helping you improve your writing, for writing exercises, anything to do with writing, really.

The Title

[From Sophophobic] Many people agonise over getting a good title, but if you can't think of one, it's ok. Just don't name it "Untitled" or something similar, that doesn't tell anyone about the title at all! Also make sure it is spelled and capitalised correctly. Use proper English at all times, like what you see in proper books.

The Summary

Aside from making it interesting, make sure there are NO grammatical or spelling mistakes in your summary. These mistakes give people the impression that your story will be full of mistakes, too, and they'll be less inclined to read. Phrases like "No flames, please!" or "My first story, please R&R!" seem to turn people off, as well.

[From Big Sister Kitty] Do take note as well that some people aren't comfortable with reading slash, incest, student-teacher relationships, etc. It's courtesy to mention this in your summary, or, if it can't fit it, in your author's notes on the first chapter. Those strongly against these genres will be quite annoyed or angry to read a story and then have slash or something come up. No, it's not criminally wrong to write these stories - but please warn people. It's like warning people with an M rating or if you have explicit sex scenes. Some people just don't go for it.

Some people are into certain pairings, as well, if you are writing a romance story or have a prominent pairing, it's a good idea to state it in your summary - that immediately attracts the attention of people who like that pairing.

The Story

Again, reduce the grammatical and spelling mistakes. Lots of mistakes are irritating and make people stop reading. Make sure your chapters aren't too short, either. It's difficult to convey something in only 100/200 words. Aim for a chapter at least 1000 words long, in my opinion. Generally, the longer the chapter, the better, but again, your chapter needs substance, not a whole lot of waffle just to make the word count higher.

[From Sophophobic] Make sure you have breaks between scenes. It is very annoying to read about so-and-so about to go to the library, and then suddenly reading about such-and-such, which take place in a gym and is across town from so-and-so. It confuses your readers because it takes them a while to realise a scene change has taken place, and it disrupts the flow of reading.

[From Sophophobic] A very, very important thing to have is PARAGRAPHS. No one will read your story if it's just a block of text. The brain immediately thinks it's going to be hard to read, and the reader in turn won't try to go through the whole thing.

Dictionaries

[From I'm not telling] Dictionaries are your friend, and when in doubt use them. Also try to use more than one, because they ARE NOT all the same and are NOT always correct (it's sad, but true).

Mary Sues

Lots of people like to create original characters. Unfortunately, Mary Sues are sometimes inadvertently created, and they usually annoy the heck out of readers. Maybe your character's ended up being a Mary Sue, so people aren't reading the story.

Wikipedia has a page explaining Mary Sues: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_sue

And this page has a test for your original character. The universal Mary Sue litmus test: http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm

Updates

This is more of a suggestion than doing something wrong. Written your entire 10 chapter story? Don't post it all in one go. Try posting each chapter, say, once a week or every few days. Why? Every time you update your story gets more coverage. More people get to see it, more people get to read it, and following that you'd probably get more reviews, too.

Reviewing Etiquette

Reply to the reviews you've already gotten. Even a short one just thanking the reviewer. They'll be more inclined to review again in future because the author took the time to acknowledge their review.

[From cathrl] If you don't already, do some reviewing yourself. Leave the kind of reviews you'd like to get, for the sort of people you'd like to review you. Some of them might take a look at your story and review you in return.

[From cathrl] I'd lose the demands for reviews. It's usual to say "reviews welcomed" somewhere, but you do it a LOT, and it's more of a demand than a request. And many people won't review at all if they think a story is being "held hostage" for a certain number of reviews. They don't want to get involved with a fic that the author is prepared to stop posting at any time. They'll just go read something else.

Rating Taboo

[From I'm not telling] Some fandoms will have a bit of a rating taboo. So say if your story is an M rated fic, you could just be getting less people through to see it on principle alone. An adventure story, rated for just one descriptive/graphic scene may be put together with sex or torture stories, so it's best to be aware of it in your fandom. One way to fix that is to wait until the chapter with the scene is posted, an then up the rating to M. Another might be to just remove descriptions and make it a T rating.

Author's Notes

[From Sophophobic] Avoid making your author's note too long, we want to read your story, not a detailed account on what you did over the summer, or a fictional author-arguing-with-the-characters bit. Most readers are interested in the story, and they're not going to bother reading about things like that unless they know you personally. Plus, it tends to annoy readers and make them not read.

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List of Sites

Guide to Punctuation:

http://www.informatics.sussex.ac.uk/department/docs/punctuation/node00.html

Punctuation in Dialogue:

http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/writingexercises/qt/punctuation.htm

Paul Brians' list of Common Errors in English:

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/index.html

Free writing mini-lessons:

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/

Specifically on fanfiction writing (by Ms. Nitpicker):

http://littlecalamity.tripod.com/HowTo2.html

For those writing crossovers, this author might give you an idea of the "showing up in an unfamiliar world" reaction. He has free chapters of his stories available:

http://smstirling.com/

Wikipedia (useful for research and as long as you know the name of what you're looking for):

http://www.wikipedia.org/

Free online spell-checker:

http://www.spellcheck.net/

Online dictionaries:

http://www.fanfiction.net/dictionary.php

http://dictionary.reference.com/

Online rhyming dictionary:

http://www.rhymezone.com

Another thing I've been noticing - comedies/light-hearted stories tend to get more reviews than serious/dark or very intelligent stories, but the quality of the reviews (in terms of helpfulness) tend to better for darker and more intelligent stories.

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Ripdos A.K.A The Bad Ash:

Yeah or if you write crossovers. I also noticed some categories have readers more willing to read and review crossover stories. The one I'm writing for doesn't at all!

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Below, the various answers given to the question:

Rhea Silverkeys:

I usually get the majority of my reviews within two days, and then I might get a trickle of reviews after that (for my oneshots, I have no idea how people found my story because it definitely slipped off the 'Just In' page by then, but for my chaptered stories it's usually my regular readers). I can't speak for everyone, though, this is just what usually happens to me.

AbCarter:

I think most stories get the bulk of reviews within the first few days of posting; when they are at the top of the first page.

My one shots seem to be getting reviews from people who wanted to review me after I had reviewed them. So they look for something short to start with.

Taranea:

My one-shots usually get most of their reviews in the first two days, too. Sometimes they´ll get the odd one after that, if someone browses my profile and looks at the stuff I´ve written so far.

Ripdos A.K.A The Bad Ash:

I try to put a new chapter up every week because I'm not getting reviews and I need to get the the part that will attract more people soon. I get more hits on about the 4 day or so.

Another question: does it encourage people to review if you write something like "If you review, I will reply" underneath your chapter? (or just do illegal review replies in the next one) I like getting review replies...but how about everyone else?

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Below, the various answers given to the question:

AbCarter:

I don't know. I've never actually seen that. I have seen comments that people like receiving reviews, or holding their fic hostage.

Like you I also like receiving review replies. Authors like to hear whether people liked their story, because they put time and effort into it. Well, I put time and effort into reading the story and thinking of a good review (most of the time) it would be nice to hear if the author appreciated my comments. Authors that don't reply to my reviews rarely get a second review, unless there is something in their story I really want to share with the world. Other than that: what's the point in thinking up a good review if no one is interested in reading it?

Well, here´s my follow-up question: Would a promised reply maybe coax you into giving a more detailed review, or to give a review at all, when you wouldn´t (for whatever reason) otherwise?

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Below, the various answers given to the question:

AbCarter:

Perhaps a more detailed review, but I already prefer giving long reviews with constructive criticism. I guess I would like to test their promise of replying: are they going to sit down and discuss every point I brought up in the review, or are they just going to send a "thanks for your review" type of message?

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Taranea:

What do you mean, your hits start significantly increasing after the fourth day that you posted? that sounds weird...I usually get the majority of hits in three days and after that it slowly (very slowly) trckles upwards...and I wonder: if the hits gradually increase (and don´t stop, either), why are there no reviews? Is it some kind of bug of ffnet, that the hits increase so you think people still read your work?

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Rhea Silverkeys:

Hits don't necessarily mean that someone read your work - it just means that someone clicked on that page/chapter, whether it's to get to another chapter or because they pressed the wrong button, etc. It's a reason why the first chapter of any multi-chaptered fic will have loads of hits compared to the others. I'm afraid lots of people read and just don't review - but the number of hits on a multi-chaptered fic or number of favourites and C2s are also an indication of who's reading your work.

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Taranea:

...but if the hits increase on the latest chapter? That's what had me confused...is it with everyone else the same?

[From cathrl] I'd lose the demands for reviews. It's usual to say "reviews welcomed" somewhere, but you do it a LOT, and it's more of a demand than a request. And many people won't review at all if they think a story is being "held hostage" for a certain number of reviews. They don't want to get involved with a fic that the author is prepared to stop posting at any time. They'll just go read something else.

I have a firm policy == I never say "Please review this work! Pretty please with sugar on top!" Not in an "Author's Note" within the text of the story, not in the summary, not on my main profile page.

A few reasons:

1) I have my pride. I don't want to seem like I'm groveling. :)

2) I also don't like the tactic of holding a story hostage, and yes, I've seen people do that.

3) I find it virtually impossible to believe that anybody who participates here on FanFiction could possibly fail to realize that when I go to all the trouble of writing and posting something, I very much hope it will be reviewed. It seems incredibly redundant to add a comment at the bottom of the first chapter saying "PLEASE review me!" I mean, what are the chances that one of my readers is going to say, at that point, "Gee, I really liked this first chapter -- but until I read this bit at the bottom, it simply never occurred to me that perhaps Lorendiac wanted a bit of feedback! Who could possibly have guessed a thing like that, if he hadn't spelled it all out for me just now?"

(Personally, I can't remember the last time that my own decision to review something was based on the author's heartfelt plea for more reviews.)

Which brings me to my next observation. I understand that this forum is mostly adolescent girls, which makes for (from what I've seen) mostly character-driven stories, as opposed to more plot-centric storylines. In addition, character lists are a lot smaller, with very traditional main character dominated dialogue (remember, this is just my opinion, and I have far from read every fic on this site).

Perhaps my lack of feedback is because my fic (I'm not advertising here, I'm trying to add to the discussion) is misplaced. I would venture that in addition to fandoms, the same fandoms act as genredoms. I have written a lengthy story lacking both a clear main character, and a small enough cast that it warrants no character list. This story has been placed in a gaming region, something which is dominated by very clearly RPGish stories. I believe the same blanket statement can be applied to other story- a completely sexless story would have a tough time competing with stories of comparable quality in the anime section and a large multi-character epic would not thrive much in the Harry Potter section (granted Harry Potter has a minuscule list of characters to begin with, and original characters are regarded too well in fan fiction).

I'd also like to add a related observation I have made-in the Wheel of Time section, (a book spanning several hundred characters and an exponentially related number of pages) the stories there were not at all as in the style of the author of the original series. By that I do not mean the writing style but the plot style. Stories there, like in the rest of the site, seem to follow a main character in his/her quest towards love, life, and the pursuit of happiness (or whatever). Yet the series this is based off of makes a point of switching between the viewpoints of characters several thousands of miles apart, around a (very well engineered) fictional world. It almost seems to suggest that the very nature of fan fiction constrains it to have a plot and cast list that would never fit inside an actual novel, or that subplots and side plots are too distracting to interest potential readers, but I am sure that is not the case (other sites I frequent have very developed, very large "epic" style works).

My point (or rather question) is two-fold: do fandoms, due to the nature of their readers, writers, or the audience of their fandom, act as a dissuading factor for writers wishing to explore a literary style different from the established norm, and why is it that the category "Epic" (a fiction including a large number of characters, a large number of divergent plotlines, and no fixed main character, ala G.R.R.M) does not exist on this site?

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cathrl:

I think you're right about many fandoms. I write Battle of the Planets stories, and on this site just about all those posted are shipfics. The fandom's own specific site is the exact opposite, with epics galore. I haven't even bothered posting my own fanfic arc here, because I simply don't think it would be read. People looking for that sort of fic in that fandom don't come here. One of the very best authors in the fandom has one short story here, and it has zero reviews (I've reviewed it elsewhere, in case you were wondering :) )

So yes, the nature of that fandom on this site has put me off posting here. Which, I guess, just perpetuates the situation. But it hasn't put me off writing epic-style fanfic. I just post it elsewhere.

In my other fandom (Thunderbirds) there isn't really an "elsewhere" (the really good archive is stories by invitation only, so you have to have posted somewhere else first) and so while the section is dominated by character-driven stuff, the epics get posted here as well.

I think you'll find this forum isn't mostly adolescent girls, though from context I think you probably meant this site.

Interesting comment that "Epic" is a missing genre - I'd never really thought about it as a genre term, but mine would fit it very nicely. I normally end up using "General" simply because my fic doesn't fit within only one or two specific genres.

What does G.R.R.M. stand for?

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AbCarter:

I have a 35k word story (3 chapters+prologue) and not a single review.

Even I find 10k-plus chapters a bit hard to chew on. That could be a reason. Seen as I get more reviews for one shots I'm guessing that if readers/reviewers don't know your work they'd like to start with something short. I'm asuming you do get readers -- you didn't mention you didn't -- and not even any of those that "heay, this story has no reviews yet I find it ... so I'll review."

I understand that this forum is mostly adolescent girls

Really? I thought at least an equally large chunk of posters is 18 or older. Oh, wait, you seem to be refering to the site as a whole.

Fandoms/genredoms, hard to say. It's true that a lot of the authors in certain fandoms write a lot of the same type of stories (like reunion fics or Doomsday denial fics in Doctor Who), but that doesn't mean that that is the genre that should go with the fandom. I'll take my Doctor with an alien invasion. I don't want him snogging Rose (unless for genetic transfer) much less have him have babies with her. (I also don't want him having babies with Martha, unless those babies are of the Species II/Alien kind).

It almost seems to suggest that the very nature of fan fiction constrains it to have a plot and cast list that would never fit inside an actual novel, or that subplots and side plots are too distracting to interest potential readers,

Try for too hard to write. I've noticed in my own writing that the plots are rather straight forward. First this happens then that happens. It's easiest to pick just one character as the main and follow his actions, because that means you just have to get into the head of one character. Perhaps that's why stories that switch view points are such great reads. I've become much more appreciative of novels that do this concisely, but also much more annoyed with novels that switch view point inappropriately.

Oh, and what I've read of the Harry Potter novels: they're mostly just following one character. The few times I recall that the POV wasn't with Harry was in the first chapter of the first book, and in later books when those scenes were explained as dreams Harry was having or he dove into someone's pensive. But in the latter two cases the story still stayed with Harry or brought it there. And that seemed to work for a few novels.

I guess that depends on personal taste too. I'm just glancing at my bookshelve and most of the novels there are one main character and his/her interactions with others. Very few of them follow more than four POV characters. Yet, I would say that these are actual novels. (Perhaps I'm not getting the point you are trying to make).

Do fandoms, due to the nature of their readers, writers, or the audience of their fandom, act as a dissuading factor for writers wishing to explore a literary style different from the established norm, and why is it that the category "Epic" does not exist on this site?

First: I don't think so. There seems to be a norm for certain types of stories in certain fandoms (romance mainly), but occasionally I bump into something else. There are people who write other stuff. There are peopel who like to read the other stuff. But if those readers don't let the writers know about this the writers get discouraged.

Second: I'm sure there is epic stuff out there too. Nothing springs to mind at the moment (well, there are a few epic series going on in the Star Trek Voyager section, but I haven't read them so I can't say whether they meet the multiple character, multiple plot requirement), but of all those stories that are more than 100k words long, there has got to be a few that have more than one POV character and divergent plotlines.

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theskipper:

I think you're right about many fandoms. I write Battle of the Planets stories, and on this site just about all those posted are shipfics. The fandom's own specific site is the exact opposite, with epics galore. I haven't even bothered posting my own fanfic arc here, because I simply don't think it would be read. People looking for that sort of fic in that fandom don't come here. One of the very best authors in the fandom has one short story here, and it has zero reviews (I've reviewed it elsewhere, in case you were wondering :) )

So yes, the nature of that fandom on this site has put me off posting here. Which, I guess, just perpetuates the situation. But it hasn't put me off writing epic-style fanfic. I just post it elsewhere.

I was raising the point because the same sites I frequent have a great deal of epics but they seem oddly missing here. It was a discrepancy I wasn't sure what to attribute to (and still don't) but just wanted to adress (especially since it's my favorite style to both read and write in).

I think you'll find this forum isn't mostly adolescent girls, though from context I think you probably meant this site.

Apologies. I'm used to sites which are forum-only so I often mix the two. I meant site (it seems the forums-at least the ones that don't focus on bananas-seem to mostly attract an older populace).

Interesting comment that "Epic" is a missing genre - I'd never really thought about it as a genre term, but mine would fit it very nicely. I normally end up using "General" simply because my fic doesn't fit within only one or two specific genres.

I've always treated it as a genre, which is why I thought it strange it wasn't here, especially since I didn't know what other categories to put it in (especially since something like "fantasy" is pretty non-helpful to someone browsing the Warcraft fiction shelf).

What does G.R.R.M. stand for?

George R.R. Martin is a prolific fantasy author who best embodies the kind of "epic" style I am trying to imitate. He's got so many characters that the character list in the back of one of the 1000 page books runs for near 50 pages.

Even I find 10k-plus chapters a bit hard to chew on. That could be a reason. Seen as I get more reviews for one shots I'm guessing that if readers/reviewers don't know your work they'd like to start with something short.

I've considered posting a one-shot for publicity, but I don't think it'd be helpful to readers to read a short story as an introduction to a 100k word epic. The style difference is just too big, in my opinion, that I'd be writing for the same audience in both stories.

Try for too hard to write. I've noticed in my own writing that the plots are rather straight forward. First this happens then that happens. It's easiest to pick just one character as the main and follow his actions, because that means you just have to get into the head of one character. Perhaps that's why stories that switch view points are such great reads. I've become much more appreciative of novels that do this concisely, but also much more annoyed with novels that switch view point inappropriately.

I guess that depends on personal taste too. I'm just glancing at my bookshelve and most of the novels there are one main character and his/her interactions with others. Very few of them follow more than four POV characters. Yet, I would say that these are actual novels. (Perhaps I'm not getting the point you are trying to make).

That's probably why I would consider epic to be a genre. Harry Potter and similar linear novels are too different from works like Wheel of Time, A Song Of Ice and Fire, or the Malazan Book of the Fallen to be placed in the same generic lump of Fantasy or Sci-Fi. I consider it to be more a matter of taste than difficulty, but at the same time, if it was just taste, I see no reason that it should not proliferate here amidst other genres (hence my initial assumption that fandoms acted as restrictive inner circles revolving around one primary genre).

There seems to be a norm for certain types of stories in certain fandoms (romance mainly), but occasionally I bump into something else. There are people who write other stuff. There are peopel who like to read the other stuff. But if those readers don't let the writers know about this the writers get discouraged.

How occasionally is "occasionally", however? I guess that's the point I'm trying to raise, to get a general understanding of how things work here, because a site this large is something I'm very much new to (and the effects of the size on the authors themselves is doubtless a fascinating sociological concept to explore).

I'm sure there is epic stuff out there too. Nothing springs to mind at the moment (well, there are a few epic series going on in the Star Trek Voyager section, but I haven't read them so I can't say whether they meet the multiple character, multiple plot requirement), but of all those stories that are more than 100k words long, there has got to be a few that have more than one POV character and divergent plotlines.

They are anomalies then, I take it. Funnily enough, the site more specific to my fandom has them as the norm rather than the exception. Perhaps gender plays a role in it. Or perhaps its those darn WoWers infesting my section! (jk :).

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AbCarter:

They are anomalies then, I take it. Funnily enough, the site more specific to my fandom has them as the norm rather than the exception. Perhaps gender plays a role in it.

Gender, age, writing experience of the author, the fact that I read in TV fandoms that follow a limited number of characters.

I don't think it is a constraint of the site that Epics are less common here (whether in absolute or in relative perspective I don't know). Perhaps it was before there was a chaptering system. But it could have become a bias of the site. Authors who write epics don't see other epics, they don't feel their own epics are appreciated and leave, causing new epic writing authors who come after them to feel the same. Thus the whole thing perpetuates into a bias against epics.

You could send a message to support@fanfiction.com and ask them if they could include Epic in the genre listings.

...one problem may be your formatting. There are no line breaks between paragraphs, and with all the dialogue you have, there are lots of places where there should be line breaks. It makes it difficult to read and figure out who is doing what.

Now that you mention it, Maryilee, that's definitely been a situation that occasionally discourages me from reviewing something after I've glanced at the first screen's worth of material. Perhaps I'm just too soft-hearted to say exactly what I think under such circumstances?

I mean, I've been known to look at a page where all the paragraphs seem to run together into one solid wall of text, and then I hesitate to keep reading, or to post a review on a chapter I haven't even bothered to finish! And at the other extreme, I've also seen stories posted where it went something like this:

THE thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could,

but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so

well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that

I gave utterance to a threat. AT LENGTH I would be avenged; this

was a point definitively settled -- but the very definitiveness with

which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only

punish, but punish with impunity.

Of course I actually swiped that text from the opening lines of Edgar Allan Poe's story "The Cask of Amontillado," but you get the idea. I've seen such submissions on here (or on FictionPress) where it is painfully clear that somewhere along the line, somebody's software has treated each line of text in a file as if it were a separate paragraph which deserved blank lines above and below, and that also makes such text harder to read.

Again, I usually don't post anything at all in such cases. I suppose I may wonder if I'd be accused of excessive nitpicking over trifles, or I may tell myself that the author will probably figure out the problem himself very soon and take measures to correct it . . . but I'm extremely reluctant to post a review that basically just says, "This is so badly formatted that I don't feel like taking the trouble to force myself to read it all the way through. Please amend!"

Don't say it like that. Say it like: The formating of this story makes it very hard to read. This could be fixed by ...

I do tell people when all their sentences got bunched together. I also tell them that they don't have to start each sentence in a new paragraph. One time someone replied to that comment in their author's notes and said they did it that way to make it easier to read. Yeah, when you're writing for an eight-year-old, but this was an M rated story.

Something else that I've noted is that people seem to review earlier chapters more than later chapters.

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Rhea Silverkeys:

Bit of a cheating tip: If no one's read your story yet (check the hits for your later chapters, i.e. chapters 15 onwards) you could delete the entire story and repost it with the reformatting. That gets your story on the Just In page (so, more coverage) and, since no one really read the entire thing yet, they won't wonder where the story's gone if they've bookmarked it or whatever. If you just edit the story no one will know unless you tell them or they look into the text of the story.

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Maiafay:

Actually, the entire story doesn't need to be deleted, just a chapter.

Just delete the last chapter, and upload it again. Your story will pop up on the first page as if you have updated [which a revision is technically an update, so you're not really misleading anyone]. I've done this with my Ashes story, and a few other ones to show I had heavily edited.

ETA: The reason I say to do it this way, is for those authors (like me) who revise in the middle of a WIP [gah! bad habit that is!] and don't want to mess up their reviews or "overall" hits to the fic.

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SukoraAndLissa:

Well, cant i just upload the next chapter to get it on the just in page? just because it is already 19/20 chapters long doesn't mean its anywhere near finished.

But yeah, I have 2 readers who have faved it and one of them had put it on there alert list so the deleting the story thing wont work as smoothly.

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Maiafay:

Well then, you're all set! I didn't know you had a chapter all ready to go, and just updating will do the trick. :)

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Taranea:

..if you delete the chapter, won´t the reviews you got for that chapter get deleted, too?

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AbCarter:

No, the reviews stay in place until the entire story is deleted. This actually poses a problem that people who have reviewed the old version of chapter X can't review the new version because they've already reviewed chapter X.

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Lorendiac:

Ah, the painful memories which that comment stirs . . . Roughly a year ago, I managed to display some spectacularly bad timing in that regard when reviewing something on FictionPress.

I read the second chapter (of several already posted) of someone's ongoing attempt to write a "fantasy novel."

I saw several things in that chapter which could stand some improvement; I did my best to write a thoughtful review in which I attempted to offer some constructive criticism on how to improve that chapter by tidying up this, that, and the other.

Meanwhile, the author had already been rewriting that chapter in her spare time, and she evidently posted her heavily revised version -- which coincidentally eliminated the flaws I was reacting to -- shortly before I had my review whipped into shape and posted it on the same day! It didn't occur to me that I might first need to refresh "Chapter 2" in my browser, just in case the text had somehow mutated since I started on my review.

The upshot was, as the author politely pointed out to me in a private message a bit later, that my review was already obsolete by the time I posted the silly thing! It quoted bits of text that were no longer in that chapter at all!

I would have been perfectly willing to delete my own review and try again, now that it was so embarrassingly outdated, except that on FictionPress (and I think here on FanFiction, too) we reviewers don't have any ability to delete or otherwise modify the texts of our own reviews after they've been posted.

So the best I could do, a day or two later, was to write and post another review of a later chapter in the same story, in which I basically urged everyone to completely ignore my review of Chapter 2 on the grounds that it was not a fair reflection of the strengths and weaknesses, whatever they might be, of "Chapter 2, Version 2.0."

Probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me on FictionPress or FanFiction, and I'm very happy it only happened to me once! But my old obsolete-before-it-was-even-posted review is still cluttering up that story's review page today, a year later, even though I heartily wish it weren't.

Second thought: don't answer that last...

I give out plenty of reviews myself, but lately it seems that I've been drawn more to the stories with terrible grammar and poor characterization, so that I can holler at the author with a "no! Bad author! Bad!" kind of review. :/ I'm becoming too negative, lol.

If it's a fandom I enjoy, I'll be happy to con-crit someone's fic here. I'm pretty selective about things though, so it'll take some searching. :p

(yes I am also Grey-wolf David

'Ing' verbs are just past progressive, it's when the word is used as a noun that it's called a gerund. For Zippie (who hasn't spoken to me in a while :( ), I do believe I may have overlooked the ing words in lieu of other corrections.

This is why I've limited my crits to only about six a month instead of fifteen or more. Less stress, and I can focus on the individual author better.

Edit: Uh, Zippie, is there a reason why all your stories are gone?

If you're talking about the link on this thread, I delete requests for concrit that are more than a month old...just because by then they usually have some concrit already and I don't want to clog up this topic with old requests in between discussions about getting reviews etc.

Firstly I assumed I didn't get any reviews because people got put off from the junk I wrote when I was 13. So I deleted it all, except for one.

Secondly, I thought perhaps people wouldn't want to wade through 25K words of fic without knowing my style first, so I wrote two shorter pieces. However, I have as many reviews for these two put together as my piece-of-trash-Mary-Sue-teenage-angst-fic, which is kind of depressing. I also have a lot of hits for this dreadful story for some odd reason!

I'm quite rusty about reviewing etiquette; what I used to do was to go to the reviewer's page and write a nice long review on one of their fics in return. Is this okay?

I've also been trying to do 5 fics a day to try and get noticed by the latest generation of fanficcers...but I don't think it's working. I'd love to get some tips from you much more experienced guys. For one thing, I'm considering deleting the half of my NaNo that got uploaded, and re-releasing it chapter by chapter so people aren't overwhelmed. I know I enjoy reading complete fanfics in one hit but I don't think anyone else does...

It is perfectly fine. Everyone likes a review, and more mature writers treasure long reviews. I will say that no one expects you to review as payment for a review given to you and that you will be disappointed if you expect them do so.

I'm considering deleting the half of my NaNo that got uploaded, and re-releasing it chapter by chapter so people aren't overwhelmed. I know I enjoy reading complete fanfics in one hit but I don't think anyone else does...

That is a good idea, but not for the reasons you might think. First, when you post a story en-mass people see it and think "Wow, that story must stink if it's that long and has no reviews." I know it isn't logical, but a lot of people don't even glance at the Updated/Published, let alone compare them. Second, by uploading it in pieces you can maximize face time.

I'd love to get some tips from you much more experienced guys.

*Glances at profile* OK, so I see that you mostly dwell in the Harry Potter fandom. Now I don't know the exact quirks of that one, but I do know that it is highly active. With that in mind I suggest that you observe the flow of updated and find what time of the week people update the least (late Sunday evening is common)and post your story right before that occurs for maximum face time

I've also been trying to do 5 fics a day to try and get noticed by the latest generation of fanficcers...but I don't think it's working.

Never heard of that strategy, but it seems like a bad idea for larger fandom's (might work for medium-small ones). Focus on quality instead of quantity. Put it this way: would your friends be more impress by a hundred mass produced sword replica's or a single one crafted to perfection by the hands of a true master of the trade?

Yep, you got that right, I'm mainly Harry's girl but I dabble in a few other things from time to time.

Also, I gave up on drabbles very early on - I'm too long-winded to do them well. Some people appear to be able to churn out short n'sweet pieces that get lots of attention...but not me :(

Definitely post your chapters up one at a time, it gives it more coverage too.

I have a relatively new fanfic that I'm in the process of posting. It's already written, and at this point, I'm just getting it up and doing some final touches.

Anyway, it contains a bit of medical jargon. I don't think it's excessive…but I've been wrong before.

Up until recently, I've gotten nothing but compliments on it. Now, all of a sudden, I have people telling me that it's confusing. This is worrisome to me, because readers have often commented on how they liked the medical accuracy in particular.

With this onrush of people not getting it, I'm a bit spooked.

OK, it's not exactly an "onrush" I suppose, but it is more than one person.

(By the way, the readers who found it confusing are not on this site. FF.net isn't where I am getting the "confusion" comments.)

I swear I was careful with it. I provided what I thought were sufficient context clues, tried not to dump a ton of things at once, and anything that was really essential was outright stated.

Like I said, I've been wrong before.

So I'd like to ask for a critique from here. I have one main question:

Are the medical aspects confusing?

It is mostly in the first chapter…in fact; I think it's basically all in the first chapter. So I'll only ask that anyone who's willing to look at it read that.

I hope I'm allowed to post this; reading the debate about the review issue has made me wonder if my fic qualifies for critique. My fanfic has seven reviews for two chapters, which I consider to be pretty good, considering the characters I'm writing for.

I'm sorry if that's considered to be too many.

Anyway, here's the link:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3962738/1/Duplicity

Help is greatly appreciated, and thanks in advance!

Once again, I'm sorry if for any reason this post isn't appropriate for this thread.

One thing, the character doing the intubating is rather...callous. Also, you can't shove a nebulizer down anyone's throat. You can put a mask on it, but it would be easy enough for the patient to rip off. After a patient is intubated, you can run a nebulizer in line with the ventilator circuit, and I guess that's sort of forcing it down the patient's throat. Putting someone on a vent is done lightly, and it's not like you can just leave the patient unattended for hours. Blood gases have to be obtained no later than an hour later to see if the vent settings are right. Most hospitals do official documented ventilator checks every two hours.

I have a scene of a patient being intubated in a chapter I just posted on fanlib, but the description is from the patient's rather confused pov, so I don't know if it would help you.

I think the very precise temperatures might be putting people off. I think you're right, they would be in Celsius in Japan, but even so I don't think you can expect people to keep going back to the start of the fic to figure out just how hot he is. I'd be inclined to add a more general comment after the number. Something like "41.4, a temperature high enough to be dangerous if he wasn't cooled down quickly"...

The only medical thing which actively confused me was the nebuliser tube being put down his throat into his lungs - can you even do that if someone's conscious and fighting you?

One thing, the character doing the intubating is rather...callous.

…

Putting someone on a vent is done lightly, and it's not like you can just leave the patient unattended for hours. Blood gases have to be obtained no later than an hour later to see if the vent settings are right. Most hospitals do official documented ventilator checks every two hours.

Yes, yes he is. That's the idea I'm hoping to get across. ^_^ He is being negligent, hence the chapter title.

The doctor is by no means emotionally stable. He's kind of a sociopath in some respects, actually.

Second of all, he absolutely detests his patient. Or, at least, that's the way I'm spinning it; in canon, it's up for debate.

Furthermore, he will not suffer any repercussions as long as the patient remains alive. He can basically do whatever he wants, short of killing him, and it won't matter. Given that he hates the kid, he's not going to be gentle. In fact, he'll go out of his way to hurt him.

I hope that sort of explains/justifies the doctor's behavior.

Also, you can't shove a nebulizer down anyone's throat.

I just knew I'd get something wrong.

I did research this, but somehow, that's not the impression I got of a nebulizer. Fair enough. Would it be any trouble for you to explain to me a little about how the "running a nebulizer in line with the ventilator circuit" concept works? In a PM or on here or whatever works for you. I think that was generally what I was going for, and I'd really appreciate the help. ^_^

Oh…wait a sec, I think I found what I was trying to say. From what I've found about nebulizers, it seems one can use either a mask or a mouthpiece. The mouthpiece is basically a plastic tube.

What I might have been getting at is that the doctor was using a mouthpiece in an extremely rough manner: instead of just placing it in his mouth, he was shoving it in…perhaps too deep.

Feel more than free to correct me if this is wrong, of course. But assuming it's correct, does it sound plausible?

Also, I don't know the fandom so I'm not sure exactly what kind of facilities your patient is at. It doesn't sound like a regular hospital.

That's a tough one to explain. The technology issue in my fandom is incredibly confusing, even to hardcore fans.

The particular location I'm writing about has x-rays, cameras, and supercomputers…it does not, however, have electric lights. They use candles. Except in the bathroom, where there are lights.

The universe in general has computers, television, and telephone lines…but they don't have motorized vehicles (except when there's randomly a Gatling gun/train in a movie). And despite the fact that they clearly have phone lines, they use hawks to communicate.

In short: it makes no logical sense whatsoever.

The only medical thing which actively confused me was the nebuliser tube being put down his throat into his lungs - can you even do that if someone's conscious and fighting you?

The characters are ninja and have what is sometimes superhuman strength. The patient is sufficiently weakened that he can't put up too much of a fight, and the doctor is strong enough (and uncaring enough) to shove him around without much of a problem.

I know it sounds like a cop-out, and I apologize for that, but given the canon, I don't think it would be an issue.

I think the very precise temperatures might be putting people off.

That's a good point. I suppose I assumed that "37º C = normal body temperature" was common knowledge. Therefore, you'd figure that 41.1º is really high.

I'll change that, though. Better off getting rid of the number entirely.

Thank you both for all of your help!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4047570/1/The_Calling

P.S. Thanks for the clarification Rhea!

The story title: Running Through the Fields

Universe: Naruto

Genre: Romance

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4041735/1/Running_Through_The_Fields

Concerns. I am worried about keeping the character in character while still showing the affects ten years can have on an individual. Grammar and spelling errors that are common in my story, if someone could point out specifics to watch out for. Misuse of words. Anything else you might want to add.

*ahem*:

Please note: This is not the place to ask for reviews, it is to ask why.

So, you're allowed to ask why your story has no reviews or very little, or you can ask for constructive criticism.

I'd suggest you edit your post if you're wondering why you don't have reviews (if you don't have any, that is), or if you want constructive criticism, tell us what it is you want critiqued so your post doesn't look like a self-plug in disguise.

Is it normal to have fairly high hits but low reviews? A story I'm writing in the Naruto fandom has two chapters so far and 700 hits. I realize that not everyone reviews, but I have two reviews total. Since I have 180 hits on the second chapter, I know that many at least got through the first chapter...

Apparently, I've gotten people's attention enough to look at "A Warped Summoning," get to the second chapter, and be liked by three who put it on their story alerts and the one who put it on the C2. But, none of the people who did that reviewed. How do I get feedback?

Please, just tell me if I've broken a rule here... I looked at them, and I've read this thread, so I don't think I have... But, like I said, I don't know much about forums...

Indeed, I wrote a sequel to my Eyeshield 21 fiction, which had just over 3000 hits and about 50 reviews, entitled 'Sleeping With the Television On'. I was very proud of it, and I decided to write a sequel in a similar vein, just focusing on a different OC. See, 'Sleeping' focused on my OC Kiyoko Yasukah and her unfounded crush on a footballer. (Before you ask, NO, the 50 reviews weren't telling me that it was a Mary-Sue story. Because I edited the story so much that all the little Mary-Sue fragments I had were gone.)

But my sequel, 'Wipe Away Your Inhibitions', is suffering. Only 3 reviews after five chapters, and about 700 hits - good, but nowhere NEAR what 'Sleeping' had. I'm wondering if it's because you can't capture lightning in a bottle twice, or if I'm advertising it wrong, or - and here's what really has me worried - people are reading this story to laugh at how bad it is.

Is this a common thing with sequels?

Thanks! :)

The story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4073060/1/Lost_and_Found

I'll try to keep the 'if they're reading the second chapter, something's right' comment in mind. I guess some people just don't review. <sweatdrop>

Anyway, thanks, again!

It's true, and it possibly depends on the fandom. I've had a lot of hits on my first story and not a single review posted. I know people are reading it because they send me emails saying how much they enjoyed it. But still no reviews on FF.net.

I think you're right. I just haven't explored many fandoms yet! Only two...

Apparently, I've gotten people's attention enough to look at "A Warped Summoning," get to the second chapter, and be liked by three who put it on their story alerts and the one who put it on the C2. But, none of the people who did that reviewed.

I agree with what pretty much everyone has said already, and would like to add my own story: I posted a oneshot in the rather popular fandom of Harry Potter and in the first week (or first few, can't quite remember anymore) and I got I think none or one review, and five favourites. In any case the number of favourites actually outnumbered the number of reviews, and almost none of those had reviewed my story, which had never ever happened to me before. I wasn't exactly a happy bunny because I couldn't understand why you'd favourite something and not review, but I've learned to appreciate (at least a bit more) that, well, at least they liked the story enough to favourite it!

Only 3 reviews after five chapters, and about 700 hits - good, but nowhere NEAR what 'Sleeping' had.

I've never written a sequel before, so I really can't say if it's normal for hits/reviews to go down. I may be able to get to you in a year or two when I get on with my own planned series ;) but from what I've seen...I think it is normal for reviews to go down. That was always a fear I've had, anyway...wait. I'm reading a sequeled story now. The first story has 43 chapters and 620 reviews, and the second one (still in progress) has 12 chapters and 105 reviews. It looks like on average the number of reviews per chapter has gone down slightly. That's just one story, though. Try looking around at sequels written in your own fandom.

Oh wait - I've just looked another immensely popular author in the Harry Potter fandom, and the number of reviews has gone down slightly with each installment of the series. Not the like author probably minds, though - an average of 43 chapters a story and 2000 reviews for them. So even really popular ones (at least this one) has a slight decline.

I always reply to my reviewers which seems to help. I like it when people acknowledge my review, so I do the same. Golden rule, right?

I feel that I do pretty well in the review area, as long as I stay in the right fandom. The only place I feel that my work goes somewhat unnoticed in The O.C. fandom, but I have LJ communities to pick up the slack on that one...

I do wish that people would sometimes put a bit more effort into their reviews than, "cool story," or "update coon plz." I rarely get the really well-thought kind reviews. One of those can last me all year...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4065949/1/Wheel_of_Destiny

Yuri - Girl x Girl

Yaoi - Boy x Boy

That's the best way I can put it.

So you were mainly concerned about your style, and my answer is that I can clearly see that you're a talented writer: your vocabulary and style is great, only sometimes you get carried away by the details - that's how it could happen, that after four chapters and fourteen thousand words not many things really happened.. which wouldn't be a problem in a let's say.. general/something genre fic, but your fic is an angst/romance. People expect action and thrill. No, sorry, it's better if I don't talk about 'people', this is my subjective opinion after all, so rather: when I hear the word 'angst' especially combined with romance, I'm not expecting long, general chapters, rather I want to read a fic that gives me goosebumps or leaves me breathless (of course it takes time to build up the plot I know).

You partly succeeded in that though. Your first chapter, for example, was really good, no wonder you got much reviews. But there were some parts in the later chapters that I found unnecessary or unnecessarily long and detailed. Such part was Wahlgren's flashback in chapter 4: I think just a few sentences, only mentioning or indicating his relationship with Natarle would have been suffice. In general I felt that you gave as much attention to the not-so-important parts as to the important ones, thus sometimes the story was rather dragging on than flowing.

Something different, but just as much important. This story is focusing on Fllay and her emotions, so logically you are writing from her point of view. Sometimes. But sometimes you jump out of that view which was disturbing to me, as a reader. In the later chapters this happened less often, but at the beginning you didn't even use her name much. She was only 'the girl' or 'the teen'.

Last but not least about story dynamics. There were many beautiful descriptions in your fic, for example the beginning of the second chapter was really good, till the point of:

To look at the mangled mess that I’ve become.

This was such a powerful sentence, I hold my breath when I read it! You've built-up the drama smoothly, wave after wave till this point, and then.. and then..

If she could, Fllay would’ve gasped at the last thought. When had she become so vengeful, so angry about things?

Ehh?! She starts scolding herself now?! I want my drama back! ..kind of that's how I felt:) I think it's hard to write angst or drama because you need to pay attention to the dynamics, and I felt that from time to time general sentences like that one above ruined the drama. Because of such sentences the descriptions looked fragmented at places. Here is another example. This is the start:

[/i] Consciousness had quickly returned to her, pulling the teen from the blackness that had swirled around her as if bringing death. That last bullet was supposed to have cemented her death in the pages of history, but it seemed that she was only dreaming of the terrible fate. For a brief moment, her body jerked at the dismal pain that shot through it; her awareness heightened to the various medical appendages attached to her skin. Tears that ran down the sides of her face were dried, though she was sure that the faint trails wouldn’t stay that way for long.

She could faintly hear the voice of another individual.

Turning her head, she could see that the male nurse from before stood next to her once again, humming with that absurdly repetitive tune that she was quickly growing to dislike. He was writing something in his notepad as he eyed her tray.

It was full of food, of course.[/i]

Your strategy how to build up drama is good: you write a four-five lines of description, then an individual sentence in a new line which all together gives a very dramatic effect. This is how the beginning of chapter 2 felt like drama came wave after wave building up the emotions smoothly. It's really nice:) But that line.. that the tray was full of food.. hm.. I understand why you thought it's important but does it hold enough thrill to put it into a single line? To me it was rather strange than angsty. All in all I felt that the story has the potential to become more dramatic.

The other thing is that sometimes when you break this 'more lines of description builds up one dramatic line' unit and just put single lines one after the other often, it may give a fragmented feeling.

Huh, that was a long post :) Anyway I hope I could be of any help.

Here's the story:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4106268/1/Prison_Bars_and_Pecan_Pie

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