¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3025787/1/Captured

¤ Fandom/Genre: Over the Hedge/Action-Adventure

¤ What areas in particular?: Anything and everything that could use improvement, but particularly voice and tone. I'd really like to try for a good writing style.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing? Thanks very much, you guys. ^_^

¤ Story Link: Which is Witch?

¤ Fandom/Genre: Winx Club / Drama/Humour

¤ What areas in particular: Just concrit in general, but in particular regarding my writing style - I feel this is the most important aspect and I'm always looking to improve this. For example, is my style too descriptive, or not descriptive enough? Genuinely funny, or trying too hard? Are my chapters too long, too short, or just right? I'm just trying to find the right balance.

Rhapsody of the Dark Forest

Tales of Symphonia, Poetry/Mystery

How effective is this poem? Does any bit sound corny to you?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3696412/1/Debates_For_Love

I am young, and I need to know if I have any skills as a writer.

¤ Story Name: When All Is Lost

¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3483452/1/When_All_Is_Lost

¤ Fandom/Genre: Code Lyoko

¤ What areas in particular: Well, I actually wrote this over the course of 5 months so my style did change. I know there's a lot to work on. I am currently working on a sequel (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3743684/1/That_Which_Breaks_The_Heart) which I think is infinitely better, but there's still an infinite amount of room for improvement. Mostly I'd like advice on OC development, story plot, and overall 'readability'. Thanks!

Anime/manga-digimon

Feel my dialogue is weak and sometimes I feel that I'm not using the right words to get the point across. So If anyone could con-crit. my stories, it would be much appreciated...here's Kirby <('.'<)

So, please, could someone be so kind as to give me some constructive criticism? That would be awesome. I would thank that person, even if that review was quite harsh.

Ok, then. Here:

Story Name: Whims of Fate

Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3589723/1/Whims_of_Fate

Fandom/Genre: Fire Emblem. It's an Adventure/Friendship fic.

Particular Critiques: Characterization and Description (though I do have an explanation/disclaimer for that in my profile.)

Thank you for your time.

¤ Story Name: Crossfire

¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3388895/1/Crossfire

¤ Genre: Romance/Adventure/Sci-Fi

¤ Fandom: Halo

¤ Areas of Interest: I’d really like to receive a well-rounded con crit review on all aspects of this story, but I’d like for anyone reviewing to pay close attention to my writing style. I find my style to be repetitive (and horrible in chapters 1-3), but there is something else I don't like about it...I just can't seem to put my finger on the issue.

BIG thanks to anyone who helps. :D

Not some random rant telling me how much I suck...it doesn't help me any it makes me want to write like a kindergatener to spite you. Ok anyway I only write for fun, I'm not looking for a profession here. I dont like reading stories with bad grammer and what not and I'm sure you all agree. So anyone up the concrit-ing me?

Story name: Your Home Is Here

Ouran High School Host Club. The main Character is Karou. It's a love story with a character I created. I know the character needs some work, but I'm going to do that once I finish it and re-write it.

Here's the URL for the first chapter http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3661376/1/Your_home_is_here

Thanks I really appreciate it. *bows like crazy to those that help*

¤ Everybody Can Have Flaws

¤ Story LinkEverybody Can Have Flaws

¤ Prison Break / Adventure/Romance

¤ I'm concerned about showing vs telling, atmosphere and characterization. I did my best to avoid turning my OC into a Sue but it's the first time I write an OC so I'm not sure if I succeeded! I'm not a review whore but this fic has had a lot less feedback than my others. I wonder if my writing is the reason or if it's just that nobody cares about Paul Kellerman!

I don't really care how harsh it may sound, so anyone who is up for grabs can just go nuts if they want to.

Note: I have done some editing (Such as lines to separate scenes) but editing hasn't seemed to come through yet.

Story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4005015/1/Awakening (not sure how to link)

¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3980731/1/Ab_Esse_Ad_Posse

¤ Resident Evil - Angst/General

¤ Just throw everything at me that you can find. There are so few people who actually say whether there's something wrong or not, that I don't even know what my weakest points are (apart from punctuation sometimes.) A traditional concrit would certainly help me improve in my writing!

¤ Story Name: The Fall of Innocence

¤ Story Link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3942351/1/The_Fall_of_Innocence

¤ Fandom/Genre: Movies--Legend: Fantasy/Drama

¤ What areas in particular you think you need critique about or help with from those looking at your story.

I would like to know if my OC (her name is Rashima) comes off as a Mary Sue. I believe there is some shakiness in when she meets Jack (CC). I think the action scene is a little weird, and I probably use too many beats (an action that immediately follows dialogue). Perhaps I describe too much or too little (I didn't describe the canon characters, and the first part of the story is a rough rehash of the film). I think my prose is too choppy and the pace is okay. Does my dialogue come off okay? I hope so.

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3908015/1/No_Such_Luck

¤ Fandom: "The Clique". Genre: I wasn't entirely sure, I picked Hurt/Comfort/Angst. It's more kinda angsty .

¤ I'm a concrit whore and can take almost anything, but it would really make me happy if someone were to critique the style itself. Tell me if I have any noticeable problems or annoying habits, but I really must ask a favor: Don't point out every little typo and every small grammar mistake I make (unless it's a pattern, then do as you please). I don't mean to be picky, but I don't think "'Fro' should have been 'for' and 'jsut' should have been 'just'" is concrit so much as it is just... picking at my typos.

Story name: Solitue

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3974278/1/Solitude

Fandom: Eragon

Genre: Romance/Drama

Critique: I'm looking for some advice on the pace I should be taking the story, and how to build up to major events. Criticism on writing style would also be welcome; I personally think I'm too prosy and have been working to fix that. Also looking for advice on characterization.

Warning: this is slash, although it make almost no mention of it at the point I'm currently at in the story.

Story: Grand Clockwork Nightingale

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3629622/1/Grand_Clockwork_Nightingale

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure

Critique: Basically, I'd like someone to look over the whole thing. Grammar and suchlike would be helpful, as I know I have trouble keeping things perfectly straight in that area, but any other commentary is also welcome as well. I'm also worried about the fact that this is basically a massive AU which I can't turn into original fiction - I've tried and it just doesn't have enough substance to stand on its own.

Thank you very much!

Story Title: Running Through the Fields

Genre: Romance

Universe: Naruto

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4041735/1/Running_Through_The_Fields

Critique: I would like info on any tendancy I may have that negativly affects the story, Grammar errors, repetaive spelling errors, word misuse. Also any tips about fleshing out the story and keeping them in character for the most part would be helpful. Thank you and have a nice day.

¤ Twilight - Angst/Tragedy

¤ I'd like some help on the emotional depth of the story, as it is very short. I don't believe I got across the emotions that the main character had before, well, the end.

¤ Story Link: Playground

¤ Fandom/Genre: Prince of Tennis/Romance

¤ I think the most part of where I need to be criticized on is characterization and/or grammar. I'm weary on my tenses since that's the main problem I have while writing. I have it in past tense, third person.

¤ Fandom: Harry Potter (DMHG)

¤ Genre: Suspense/Romance

¤ What areas in particular: I've always had trouble with tenses, so that would be the primary concern. My secondary concern is the flow and content. I'm unsure if readers can understand what's going on, and if my ideas are reaching.

Thanks in advance :D

Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3868400/1/Gallian_Nights

Fandom: Fire Emblem

Genre: Adventure/Suspense (Though it does vary over the course of the fic.)

What areas in particular: Like my previous request, Characterization and Whatever Notable Flaws one might find. I'd like some advice in any form, really.

*Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4076769/1/Love_and_Betrayal

*Story Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

*Story Fandom: Naruto

*Areas I'd like help in: Any area would be perfect. So, any form would be great.

*Story Name: History

*Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3987632/1/History

*Story Genre: Adventure

*Story Fandom: Blood+

*Areas I'd like help in: Once again any area would do, but what I really wan tan opinion on is some suggestions as what I should do with the story. I am having a difficult time deciding. It's long story, if want to know, you can leave a review, and I will respond to it, or we can PM each other.

Um, hi! I'm new here but I heard that this was a good place to receive some help in writing and looking over the threads here, I can see why. I was hoping that someone can check my fics out and help me because I feel that in the way of plot, I seem to lack substance. People say that my fics are good but I've read fics that are so much better than mine and I was hoping that someone can point out a few things that can help me develop my plots a bit more (especially my Hey Arnold fic which I feel is utterly atrocious and I'd like a few pointers on how to improve it). Thanks.

The Legend of Zelda: Cameos of Time

Adventure/Humor

The basic idea is that Link goes through another retelling of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Only most of the major characters and bosses have been replaced with other fictional characters. For instance: Saria has been replaced by Starfire from Teen Titans, and Impa's been replaced by Jet Enduro from Wild ARMs 3. There's not really a specific spot I'm gearing towards, as far as concrit goes. But I would appreciate the opinions of experience authors.

I should note that the story was originally intended to be a silly-humor fic, but has since grown into something more. My point is the first few chapters (particularly 2 and 3), might seem a little bland. My apologies beforehand.

Melreincarn, I will be sending you a PM regarding this.

¤ The Unnerving Bet

¤ Harry Potter--Romance/Fant asy

¤ I think it's worth noting that as an author, I have no confidence in my work.

Anyway, I really am looking for tips on what I can do to improve the overall story. I just don't find myself pleased with it and have a good feeling something's wrong, but I don't know/understand what that something is. Grammar and spelling are okay, I suppose. Could someone please just read this and see what problems stick out to them? ANY help would be greatly appreciated.

Feel free to flame/concrit my stories. The more the better :D

~Salsal

Please see post #106 for instructions on how to ask for con-crit, we don't ask for flames in this forum.

¤ Story Name: Light from the Netherworlds

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2712300/1/Light_from_the_Netherworlds

¤ Fandom: Xenogears

¤ Genre: Action/Drama

¤ What areas in particular: Style, fight scenes, descriptions, and flow

¤ Story Name: "Adaptation"

¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4168037/1/Adaptation

¤ Fandom/Genre: Transformers/Beast Wars / adventure and humor

¤ What areas in particular?:Anything and everything. This is my first story ever; I am having issues fleshing out my OC's better. While I try to make them different from each other and have very visible personality flaws and distinguishing traits that make it obvious they're not just knock off's of existing characters....trying is a bit different than doing I've found out. Also I don't know exactly how to do perspectives better. Oh pretty much I need help with anything that looks out of place. Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

¤ Story Name: Trust is Broken

¤ Story Link: Trust is Broken

¤ Fandom/Genre: Prince of Tennis

¤ Areas in particular: Grammatical critique, especially regarding speech and tenses. I feel like there's something awkward about my writing style, particularly in sentence structure. General con-crit will do, any help is appreciated. Feel free to also stop by my other fics.

Thanks kabelly for your review. I really appreciated your con-crit tips. =)

¤ From Dreams to Nightmares

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3854802/1/From_Dreams_to_Nightmares

¤ Lord of the Flies--Adventure/Drama

¤ Pace, grammar, characterization, dialogue, description and originality.

Note: I've already gotten a piece of concrit on this story, but I want something that's more grounded for the following reasons: I really need to know why this story sucks in the eyes of others (because I've gotten mixed feelings already so I'm not going to touch it again). I also want to know why I got flamed twice, and whether my OCs are contributing to the universe or not. I am a good writer, but at the same time I'm still learning and I've needed concrit for a long time. Maybe it's good. Maybe it's not. Only you can tell me. Chances are I don't know myself anymore, so I'm not gonna add chapters for a while. I must've wasted creativity or something...I just don't know. It's hard to explain. To make a long story short I have popularity and credibility issues. It might affect my writing in a negative manner so I won't continue this fic for only Heaven knows. Maybe my OCs are a curse. Maybe my ideas are off. Maybe I have a love affair with my writing.

Maybe I'm the reason. Sorry for the rant. I'm just having a rough time right now.

-x-x-

¤ Battle of the Finest

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4139605/1/Battle_of_the_Finest

¤ Lord of the Flies--Humor/Drama

¤ Characterization, dialogue and pace.

-x-x-

¤ Sinful Secrets

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3668891/1/Sinful_Secrets

¤ Lord of the Flies--Tragedy/Romance

¤ Pace, characterization, plot holes, prose and grammar.

I also have mixed feelings about this one, although I've never gotten concrit yet. Thanks to everyone that's willing to give constructive criticism.

¤ Story Name: Down in the Chamber

¤ Story Link: Down in the Chamber

¤ Fandom/Genre: Harry Potter

¤ Areas in particular: Word usage. I feel like I keep on using the same words again, such as 'began' and 'Ginny's'. It's driving me mad. So any constructive criticism on how to solve this problem or any others I may have with this story is greatly appreciated.

Hi! I really need someone to con-crit my stories:

¤ Story Name: The things we do

¤ StoryLink: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4086268/1/The_things_we_do

¤ Fandom/Genre: Devil may cry/General

¤ Areas in particular: Content. Is my story boring and uninteresting?

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¤ Story Name: Shades of gray

¤ StoryLink: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3795943/1/Shades_of_gray

¤ Fandom/Genre: Naruto/Romance-Angst

¤ Areas in particular: Anything

Moved from the Beta thread.

Requested by: Voughn

Hi there.

To say I'm scared is a bit of an understatement when I read Flame Rising's profile but hey, I'm here to improve.

I'm new to FFic (just gone three months) and I'd really appreciate any concrits on my Spirited Away Fanfic . There's something that feels odd about the writing but I can't figure it out. I've just found a beta to pick out my basic grammar and spelling mistakes (though only two chapters have been betaed so far), but I'm looking for someone that can give me advice/concrits on the overall feel and direction of how the story is going so far.

Ok...well....scared but willing to learn.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

I haven't really posted in here before to ask for con-crit, because I was a bit intimidated by the aura and amazing authors in this place but I got past it and was hoping for some con-crit on two of my stories.

¤ Lost in the Fog

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3574303/1/Lost_in_the_Fog

¤ Spirited Away

¤ I would say descriptions, because people have said that I tend to go a tad bit overboard. Dialogue, because it's usually one of the hardest things to write for me. Finally, pacing. I'm quite terrible at it.

Notes: It was actually up to chapter thirteen but I took it down because it was in severe need of revisions. I received a few con-crits from some of my readers, and one really good one, but I'm hoping there's someone else who can provide a fresh pair of eyes for it.

-

¤ Internal Bleeding Strawberry

¤ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4164673/1/Internal_Bleeding_Strawberry

¤ Harry Potter

¤ I would say probably the same thing as my previous stories, but for this one, perhaps a bit more on the characterizations because I've never written in the Harry Potter fandom and I'm hoping I was at least getting the character's personalities down right.

Hi there.

I've just started writing for Spirited Away myself, so my eyes are kinda 'fresh' for a stressed out workaholic. LOL. I love the movie and very familiar with the symbolism that Hayao Miyazaki used for the movie.

So I might be a good candidate to check out your characterisation, show vs tell style of writing and plot development for your fic.

I'll check out your story soon and give you some concrit.

Voughn, this is not the thread where you offer yourself as a beta, this is the thread where you ask for con-crit on your stories. If you wish to offer your services as a beta, please post it in the beta thread, currently one thread below this one. There is also a format for posting in that thread so please take a look at the first post where F/R sets up the criteria. Thanks.

Hi.

Sorry I really am not very good at forums yet and I didn't mean to offer beta services at all. It's the second time I've posted incorrectly.

Won't happen again.

Thanks for your advice.

Voughn

ano, can you please tell me what i wrote wrong besides telling me my grammar sucks because i get straight A's for english, so you might want to point out exactly what i wrote wrong instead of being so general. And 'sides, you're the first person to flame my story, so if you're gonna critique, i ain't letting you go till you tell me what i did wrong. like, real specific. :]

¤ Story Name: "Konoha Invades Fanfiction!"

¤ Story Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4252600/1/Konoha_Invades_Fanfiction

¤ Fandom/Genre: Naruto

¤ What areas in particular?: Well, it's mostly a humor-fic, so I want to know if the humor's good or not. Also, if the tiny bits of romance could be improved, also. Note: Chapter 1 has parts spelled wrong on purpose, watch out for that...And my other fic probably needs more con-crit then this, but this is more urgent :P

Sorry, accidental double-post :P

Story :Ways on how to annoy Sanada to hell.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4245443/1/

i just want to know about areas in which i can improve on my writing. :)

Story Name: Club Akatsuki

Fandom/Genre: Naruto

What areas in particular you think you need critique about or help with from those looking at your story: Quite honestly, I just desire concrit in general. It's pretty decent, in terms of grammar and whatnot, but I think general coherency might not be there for all the chapters.

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