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Obelisk of Light
Topic: **Bloody hell!!** The worst Anime/Manga-based stories on this site

Recently I realised that I wasn't the only anime fan around here, hence the reason for this thread.

I don't have any particularly horrible DBZ ones to show at the moment, but you can bet I'll link and/or spork them if they're so horrible that the entirety has to be seen, or if I think my spork is better than usual.

#1 Jul 24th, 7:26am
WendWriter

Excellent move! Looking forward to the horrors you shall bring forth. XD

#2 Jul 24th, 10:36am
Obelisk of Light

Here's a shit!fic from the DBZ section:

Gohan goes to high school

Well, it's got everything you'd expect from a badfic ... well, almost everything. A horrendous summary, pathetic grammar, WTF-worthy page-breaks, a stupid plot and a Stu.

Let's dissect the summary, shall we?

Pretty much the same story (Then why bother write it unless you want to make us all barf?) with an added characture (Is that a Stu?) and different story in certain places. My first fanfic. That's no excuse for writing like shit. Rated T cuz i wanted to. Like we totally need to know what's going on inside your brain. Please Read and Reveiw. I am under no obligation to "reveiw." Chapter six up. We can count, thank you very much!

And now, may I present yet another spork of mine, ladies and gentlemen.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4296844/1/Gohan_goes_to_high_school

my first fanfic so please be kinda gentle. I don't need to, not according to the guidelines.

I'm starting this kinda outta order so that some of the mystery remains a mystery. You love redundancy, don't you?

disclaimer:i don't own nothin Enough with the gangsta slang already!

"..."talking

'...'thinking Like I don't know how to punctuate. I'm sure you don't though.

€G€O€H€A€N€ Don't give Gohan a seizure.

Our favorite demi-saiyan woke up to a beautiful sunrise and about 53 lbs of seven year old jumping up and And what? Away?

down on his stomach. So he's lying on his stomach now?

"Ow get off." "Fuck off, you stupid fic!"

"Come ooooon Gohan you just might be late to school. Mom told me to wake you up." We don't need whiners to make this story worse.

"What time is it anyway?" It's time to end this painful travesty.

"5 o'clock."

"5 O'CLOCK!!"

"GOHAN DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT YOUR BROTHER."(guess who) Guess who popped up in the middle of the story.

Goten stuck his tongue out at Gohan and ran from the room. He doesn't have a high level of badfic tolerance. Gohan tidied up his hair as best he could, put

What? Did he glue himself to the story, never to get up again?

on his school clothes,ran downstairs and almost ran outside when-. Someone call punctuation barf control!

"What, no breakfast?" asked a wide-eyed Chichi without a period. We've been having a lot of people who call themselves "_______ without a period." Someone take the poor old period to the hospital, he's been kicked out way too many times!

'Oh my god!! Stop being so emo! Whats happening to me?! You're barfing punctuation. How could i forget breakfast?!' The same way you forgot the shift key? immediately after thinking that, the enter key had a fainting fit.

Gohan quickly sat down and inhaled his food (almost literally on the 7th handful) Well, I want to try out Capsule Corporation's brand new food inhaler. Where can I get a free sample?

Anyway Gohan ran out the door called "NIMBUS" and then he was off. Do doors have names and voices?

As soon as he arrived he went to the 'Administration Office'. He knocked...he knocked again...now he was ki blasting the enter key.

losing his patience (I lost quite a few brain cells. ;)) and getting kinda irritated, (I could tell that from the ki blast earlier.) the excitement of the first day of school beginning to wear off. He turned around and saw a clock. It was only 6:00 Six what?

AM!! He's not good at killing. Well he decided to just wader around the city, looking for Darth Vader so that they could have some coffee. He made notes of places in the city that he thought were important. Mostly delis and restaurants. He had also just met Darth Vader and asked for his assistance to destroy the enter key.

come across a very big haunted mansion. Playing hide-and-seek with Vader was going to be so much fun!

'Man whoever lives there must be important'. And Gohan was right to think so because it had barbwire fences, guard dogs, finger scanners, eyeball scanners and the Sith army.

Star Trek Enterprise hovering over it with its laser ready to fire... What's Star Trek doing here? okay maybe not the last one (Since when did Gohan start to watch sci-fi?) but it was very protected. Then he came across a neighborhood where the enter key was still dying.

all was quiet except one house that had blaring music coming from it. The music stopped. Then- the enter key was no longer being abused.

"WHAT IN THE HELL YOU THINK YOUR DOING TURNING OF MY MUSIC!" "TRYING TO IMPROVE YOUR SPELLING, DUMBASS!"

"TO TELL YOU THAT ITS TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL!" "EVEN THOUGH MY SPELLING IS NO BETTER!"

"SO WHAT DO YOU CARE YOU JU-". The period was a curious onlooker.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THATS WHY!" *insert melodrama here*

*cut out for stupidity*

#3 Jul 26th, 7:40am
WendWriter

"What time is it anyway?" It's time to end this painful travesty.

Hee hee! Love your sporkage, Mini. More, please!

#4 Jul 26th, 7:51am . Edited Jul 26th, 7:51am
Obelisk of Light

Ah, thank you! Shall we move to the chat thread? I'm kinda bored.

Edit:

Here's why twelve-year-olds should never write lemons, and especially not yaoi lemons. Unfortunately, Goku/Vegeta's my favourite yaoi pairing, but I had a good laugh out of the story and the flames. XDD

Warning: The following link contains a barf-worthy sex scene; one of the worst ones I've ever read. Actually, make that two.

Dr Vegeta

#5 Jul 26th, 7:56am . Edited Jul 26th, 8:32am
WendWriter

Thanks for the heads up.

Am in the chat thread on Can We Talk? at the moment. Feel free to join us. :D

#6 Jul 26th, 2:03pm
Obelisk of Light

Behold this atrocious zebra Stufic:

The Saiyan War Episode One

I'm not going to spork it. I've flamed it instead.

Over the course of 2000 years the saiyans fought a

war, a war with each other. The protectors of their

home, Earth, on one side and the ones who protect only

themselves. Both sides were deadlocked throughout

those years until the final year of their conflict,

when the Earth side chose to take in younger, stronger

soldiers. This is the final week of the battle...

Ugh.

#7 Aug 01st, 12:27am . Edited Aug 01st, 12:29am
WendWriter

It's trite and boring. It deserved the flame.

#8 Aug 02nd, 2:51pm
Obelisk of Light

All Naruto fans must have a look at the following hilarious badfic for a hearty laugh.

Konoha High

Here's an excerpt from the first chapter:

Sasuke and Sakura were dating, Neji and Tenten, Shikamaru and Temari, Kiba and Ino, and Gaara and Haku were the last couple (please note that Haku is a girl). Well pretty much everyone in this group had the same class at the same time; not one of them had a different class from each other, and none of them sat alone; they all sat together. When they all sat together in the class, everyone saw a strange young man walk in and sit near them; he was wearing a black hoody with faded blue jeans with cuts all over them. His face was covered so you couldn’t see his face. When he sat down, everyone in the group looked at him and gave him a look that said ‘why the fuck are you sitting near us for’.

It would be about thirty minutes into the class before the teacher got there. When he walked in he sat down and continued to read his book that he was reading when he first walked in with. The man had long spiky silver hair with a headband over one of his eyes. When he walked in he just looked up and went back to reading his book. His name was Kakashi; and he was their English teacher.

“Excuse me sir… but aren’t you suppose to teach us English” said one student

Kakashi just looked up at the boy and went right back to reading his book.

“What are you speaking right now” asked Kakashi

“English” replied the boy

“Well there you go… you know English already so you don’t need me to teach you about it” said Kakashi

Here's some more:

When he tried to hit Naruto in the face, all he did was dodge it and then grabbed his arm and twist it back and then flip him to the ground and then put him in a arm bar. Kiba tried to get out of it but he failed to do so. When Naruto let go; Kiba tried again to attack him but Naruto just kneed him in the gut and then elbow him in the back of his neck. Kiba was now on the floor, he was suppose to be the best fighter in school next to Neji and Sasuke; but here he was on the floor because he was beaten by some unknown guy. Naruto then got up and walked out the class and headed to the library to study in peace. Sasuke and the others ran to Kiba to check on him; everyone but Hinata, she followed Naruto to the Library.

“Kiba… didn’t I tell you not to mess with him” said Sasuke

“How was I suppose to know he could fight” said a sore Kiba

“Haven’t you been watching the mix material arts fights on UFC” said Sasuke

“Not lately… why” asked Kiba

“Well that guy so happens to be under contract to UFC” said Sasuke

Everyone in the class then looked at him like he was crazy. The girls however didn’t know what UFC was to begin with.

“Awww… Sasuke baby… what is UFC” asked a confused Sakura

“UFC stand for… Ultimate Fighting Championship” said Sasuke

“Oh right that thing Kiba watches every Saturday night” said Ino

“Yeah… that, however if he had been watching lately he would have known that that guy is under contract to UFC… he is the next number one contender for the middle weight championship” said Sasuke

“Damn it I knew working on Saturdays at Ino’s shop would make me miss everything important going on in UFC” replied Kiba

“Yeah… he has been there for about three months and he is now getting a title shot” said Sasuke

“So I guess he is a big deal then huh” said Neji

“Yeah… his name is… Naruto “The Demon” Uzumaki” said Sasuke

The best part:

As she walked to her next class; which was math, she ran into everyone. When they all told her about the young man; she couldn’t believe that he was a celebrity. He was more popular then they would ever be, and yet they treated him like trash.

As they walked over to their next class they saw Naruto sitting in their class as well. Kiba kind of panicked a little and decided that he needed to go to the nurse because he didn’t feel good. Everyone else just walked in and sat as far away from him as possible. None of them wanted another fight; especially since they all knew they wouldn’t win. Hinata however still wanted to say hi to him but she was afraid that he might hate her for what Kiba did to him earlier.

The teacher soon walked in the class; he was kind of old with long white hair and a handband over his forehead. He had the most perverted look in his face.

Yup ... Jiraiya the math teacher. LOL.

There's thirty-nine more chapters of hilarious shittiness where that came from. The story pretty much sporks itself.

#9 Aug 08th, 3:59am
WendWriter

The teacher soon walked in the class; he was kind of old with long white hair and a handband over his forehead. He had the most perverted look in his face.

O.O How in the world did he manage that??! Did he have an extra pair of eyes or something?

#10 Aug 08th, 3:35pm
Obelisk of Light

How in the world did he manage that??! Did he have an extra pair of eyes or something?

Probably because he started wearing handbands instead of headbands. ;) Well, he is a pervert ("super-pervert" in his own words) in the manga and anime, so it would be natural that he gets a perverted look on his face now and then. (He is a goodguy, though.) But I don't know how the expression can hide in his face.

#11 Aug 11th, 2:14am
WendWriter

It's frightening what these crapfic writers come up with sometimes. Any more?

#12 Aug 11th, 11:17am
Obelisk of Light

Oh yes.

Here's my first ever Naruto spork. I've split it up to save everyone's eyes.

Happy birthday, Asuma

Kurenai Yuhi looked at Asuma Sarutobi grave.

Is the whole Sarutobi family buried in there?

A bunch of flowers layed there and Kurenai guesed that it was Ino who had brought them there.

As opposed to Shikamaru and/or Chouji, even though Shikamaru would definitely have better grammar.

Beside the flowers was a rose, she bend down and replaced it with a new one.

Does she have bad grammar because she's pregnant? Poor Kurenai ...

She slowly stood up again and looked at the rose, it was a red one like the roses Asuma used to gave her.

Damn, I would've "awwed" if it weren't for the bad grammar.

A tear roll softly down her cheek and she removed it with her hand "happy birthday Asuma" she whisperd with a sad smile on her lips and placed a hand on her big stomach

Just when you thought the grammar couldn't get any worse ...

"it's soon time for the baby" she continued "I wonder what the baby is gonna be like, is it gonna be a little genius, or a little tough one with beautiful dark eyes? Would it have made you quit smokin' by finding one of your lighters? Is it going to talk and look like you?"

Is it going to have bad grammar too, Asuma? I hope Shikamaru can take care of that ...

a new tear find it's way down her cheek "I miss you so bad Asum a, words can't even express what you mean to me.

Having poor grammar, of course, is the best way to express things.

I don't forget you becouse your presence still lingers here.

It's Asuma's grammatically evil side.

You have been the one for me, you touched my heart and soul. I love you" Kurenai stroke the tear s away and took one last look at the grave and then she turned to leave

Hopefully, she left the bad grammar behind ...

"Maybe one day we're gonna meet face to face, In a place without time and space" she whisperd with a small smile on her lips and sta rted to walk home.

Sadly, it hasn't. At least the story ends here ...

-------

I found this completely wrong story yesterday. The pairing is - brace yourself - Naruto/Jiraiya. Yes, that's right: a thirteen-year-old buy loves to get fucked by a fifty-one-year-old-man. What makes it worse is that they have a very close mentor/student relationship.

Please have a copious supply of brain bleach before attempting to read Sexy Boy.

Quote:

Jiraiya either didn't notice or didn't mind that Naruto had changed back. In fact, he tightened his grip on the boy, pulling him further up out of the water and sliding a hand down his back, resting dangerously close to his buttocks. The pace of the kiss had slowed. It was nowhere near it's former frantic tempo. Naruto tried to take that opportunity to wrench away, but Jiraiya held onto him, kissing the corner of his lips.

Shudder!

#13 Aug 18th, 7:56am . Edited Aug 18th, 8:02am
WendWriter

Oh, gross out! How old is the writer? Her wibblings make her look like a bloody paedophile!!

Edit: I just checked the bitch out... yes, she's a girl. Allegedly, a high school graduate. Well, she ain't learned much about morality, has she? Turns out she's also into the occult... not a huge surprise. They're not all like her, though. Awful creature! It's best to ignore her. Giving her attention is what she wants.

Why oh why are some of the most perverted writers on the site female? Well, if they have a right to write such crap, I have a right to complain about it.

#14 Aug 18th, 1:15pm . Edited Aug 18th, 1:22pm
Obelisk of Light

Well, he're some retarded shit from the DBZ category:

Revenge Of The Mighty Saiyan

Spork:

Broly:HA HA HA HA DIEforms a huge blast that's bigger than Kid Buu's Attack

Sporker: This story should die. I will attempt to destroy it in a slow and painful way. *raises shiny spork*

Goku:Wow that's really big!...

Sporker: What's big, you bloody pervert?

Inuyasha:Yeah...talk about gigantic

Sporker: Do you have an army of perverts, Goku?

Goku:Oh No that can't be meant for us .That's why too much energy it's enough to destroy the earth

Sporker: Congratulations. You have just proved that you are an idiot.

Broly:Heh heh heh heh heh heh

Sporker: Ha ha. Very funny.

Goku:Inuyasha we can't stop that

Sporker: You guys are perverted and retarded at the same time, and you can't stop that. It's a pity that you lot aren't OCs.

Inuyasha:Damn..

Sporker: Goddamned story ...

Goku:No ...BROLY WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. therewill be nothing left nothing at all is that what you want? Please Broly...

Sporker: Now, now Goku ... WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR HEROISM!!!!1111eleven!

Broly:DIE!!shoots the blast

The sporker raises her spork.

Sporker: This story must DIE!!1eleven1

Goku:Ahh..ahh

Goku is having an orgasm.

Inuyasha:Ah..The Boys...looks at Kakashi,Naruto,Sasuke,andVegeta

Sporker: Fuck no! My favourite characters!

Goku:Inuyasha we'll grab the boys and use instant transmission to escape

Sporker: These "boys" are for your personal Playboy mansion, aren't they?

Inuyasha:Rightflies with goku

Sporker: Is your assistant shooting flies?

Goku:Darn...

Sporker: Goddamn ...

Inuyasha:Gotchagrabs Naruto and Sasuke

Goku:sees Kakashi and Vegeta and grabs them

Sporker: You PERVERTS!!!1eleven1!!!

Inuyasha:flies

Goku:flies

Sporker: You guys are shooting flies and carrying your personal boys away. Multitasking much?

Inuyasha:Uhh Goku The blast is getter closer

Goku:Darn it

Sporker: Oooh, you're the angelic hero who can't say the word "damn" to save his life.

Inuyasha:Huh..is that...Zatch?

Sporker: Who? Another Playboy?

Zatch:Help Guys

Inuyasha:Darn it I'm full

Sporker: You realised that now?

Goku:Me too

Sporker: I've got a bunch of idiotic perverts on my hands.

Zatch:Ahhhhh

Sporker: Is this the mysterious third pervert?

Gai:grabs him and flies with them

Sporker: Where's the youth!?

Zatch:Huh?

Sporker: You're not the third pervert.

Inuyasha:Hey

Sporker: What?

Gai:We need to find a way to escape

Goku:Yes...wait we can escape in the supreme kai's worlds

Sporker: Let me guess: is that where your Playboy mansion is, Goku?

Inuyasha:Okay

Sporker: I take that as a yes, and I shall stop my commentary at this point. You see, I can't afford to lose all my brain cells.

#15 Aug 21st, 5:12am
WendWriter

Sheesh! Another fanbrat with an alleged sense of humour. Needs to go to rehab, M'lud.

#16 Aug 21st, 11:36am
Obelisk of Light

Needs to go to rehab, M'lud.

For daring to write severely retarded fan fiction? ;)

I have another atrocity to showcase that contains terrible English. That's not all, though ...

Betrayed by Blood

Spork:

Hi! I'm *deleted* I'm new so this is my first time writing a story about DBZ,I hope you like it (Nope, sorry.) and understad it (Whatever that means.),if you don't get some parts tell me and I'll try to explain it with better spelling, grammar and punctuation, okay, even though my explanation will still be shitty.

Proulge What's Prowl doing in a DBZ badfic?

Planet Vegeta exploded, leaving no trace of survivors at all, except maybe a convenient Sue or two. the only Saiyans that survived were the ones that got sent to other planets.

Geez. Saiyans are insects now. Vegeta's not going to be pleased ...

A ship not that far from where Vegeta dimolished (Planets can commit suicide.) a lady who looks like she's in her twenties with a maroon cloak on with a hood on covering her face wittness the planets end. Oh noes, I think she's a Sue!

'Such a shame,' she thought, 'I wonder if-?' she was cut when she saw something floating in space. Was that my brain?

"Put the ship in auto-piolet (I read that as auto-toilet. Seriously.) mode," she said to her computer Activating piolet-mode in three minutes repeat:activating piolet-mode in three minutes. She's being possessed by her computer. She went to the ship's door and put her thumb in a hand print as it scan, because she had a convenient stamp pad nearby; she lowered her arm down as the door opened, she took a step back and jumped out of the ship she didn't need a helmet cause' she could breath in space, (Oh Gawd. I was right. She's a Sue.)she flew around the area of the once planet called Vegeta she searched and searched until... she found a red headband (Please leave Bardock alone!), the girl examined it for a while when she found out that the headband was wet? 'sniff,sniff' (Bitch.) she winched at the smell because she had a winch in her pocket. "Guess there's...nothing left of this god foresaken planet" she sighed,then shifted her eyes "Wait a second," she sniffed the headband one more time (Bitch!!) then looked at it in awe "It's has that guy's blood... the one who try to stop Frieza." Don't even think about claiming Bardock, you bitchy Mary Sue!

'Great,that just what I want hear when get back to planet Illusion a lecture from my master and team about the illusion I'm under. My grammar's so bloody excellent!' she looked at the headband "I rather let em' lecture me to death than let em' do anything to my children" (I hope she hasn't touched a canon character.) she starts to remember what her lord told what to do and what happens if she failed the mission She'd die. Good for me.

--Flashback--

An alien with a gray skin and a black sheet covering half of his left face and body only reaveling his gray hands with sharp fingernails that can peirced through your skin and his reaptile-like face,his eyes were blooderier than blood itself, scarier than death himself was sitting in a chair. This is the worst fucking Frieza description that I've ever had the misfortune to read. Four figures with different color of cloaks on but with their up bowed in one knee to their ruler (The bad grammar is killing me!) Rise his deep scatchy voice (Scatchy typo.) that sounded like he had a cold said, the four did what they were told and all looked at the floor transfixed I need one of you to do a task for me,he looked at a figure with a maroon cloak on K-nine? She likes dogs? she looked up at him, the only thing that you picture out was her mouth and her blood red eyes. Sue. I need you to go to planet Vegeta and bring back the one called Bardock or if failed he smirked You lose your children,do you understand? she looked at him blankly than nodded Good than I suggest you get going and do not fail if you care for their lives.She put her right hand to left shoulder and bowed to her waist I promise I will not fail m'lord and by that she turned her back at him and sprinted away to the darkness to kidnap Bardock.

--End of flashback--

K-nine (Oh. Shit. Is that supposed to be a name!?!?) raised her left hand the had the blood red headband and smiled "I guess I broke my promise...huh?" Who cares about a fucked up promise to kidnap Bardock and marry him? she looked puzzled for a second then turned to left while lowering and clenching her left hand she sqinted her eyes permanently and saw a space pod heading towards north.She closed her eyes and smiled evily "Hmph...one thougth they could escape,eh?" she re-opened her eyes and raised her right arm creating a dark blue energy from her hand and aimed it at the space pod.However, a light blue energy zoomed by her and went inside the pod K-nine lowered her arm and sighed with a faint grin "Guess my kids won't die after all," she turned to her ship and looked back slightly "Take care Kakarot," and flew back to her ship and launched to the west side of the galaxy."You and your father are the ones he needs. Oh noes! Goku has a Sue mom!!!!!111eleven1two1!!!!

Well,how was it?Give me your honest opion. This is a piece of bullshit. All need is 3-5 reviews so I can continue,until I write again. Boy, as if this story isn't bad enough, you're whoring for reviews?

Long Live The Saiyans!! ... Deranged fangirl ...

You know what makes this story worse? Goku's the main hero of Dragon Ball Z. And his mother just had to be a Sue ...

#17 Aug 27th, 5:30am . Edited Aug 27th, 5:32am
WendWriter

Shudderworthy horror, right there! :(

#18 Aug 27th, 12:18pm
Obelisk of Light

DBZ College

Sporking:

Disclaimer:Man,I don't Own no one but Marcellous! I also own the unique punctuation style and the RaNdOM caPITaLIsaTIon!

--

9:00 PM – Dorm 666 because hell, Mr Satan (Hercule) lives in there!*

In Dorm 666,There are 4 Saiyan Young Adults Studying their Brains out for a test that will determine the rest of their College Lives and the rate of deterioration of their English.

“Man,I Hope I pass this test!” Said A very drowsy Kakarot,Who wanted to be called by his Nickname,”Goku”, because he was a gangsta on a quest to find quite a few missing spaces.

“I Know, This Test must be pretty long and grammatically pathetic for one that will determine our Lives.”Said Goku's Older Brother,Raditz.

“No Shit Sherlock, the grammar's going to be far worse.”Said Vegeta,Getting A little annoyed.

“No Fighting! We need to Study like the OOC excuses for Saiyans that we truly are!”Said A Boy about the same Height as the rest,Taller than Vegeta yet Shorter Than Goku. His Name was Marcellous .He was no Doubt The smartest and the most un-Saiyan like Saiyan of The Group.

The rest listened to him an put their eyes back in their textbooks. They didn't take them out.

1:00 AM – Dorm 666

Everyone was extremely sleepy,And Goku Actually Fell Asleep while Reading His (Flash) Power Level, which were well over nine thousand. Naturally! Cards

“I think it's time to sleep; our English will get better in the morning.”Said and Equally Drowsy Raditz.

The Rest Agreed. Raditz got into his top Bunk,Vegeta got onto his top bunk (Who knew Raditz and Vegeta shared a bed? ;),Marcellous got into the bunk Under Vegeta's And Goku just kept on Sleeping in place.

3:00 AM – Dorm 666 Now why the hell isHercule not in his dorm?

An Alarm went Off Causing Vegeta and Raditz to fall off their Bunks. Everybody Looked around the room to find Goku at a Table Studying because he'd got a behaviour-altering head injury. Again.

“Wow,That's A First.”Said a Very Shocked Marcellous Whose Random Capitalisation and Bad Grammar Syndrome hadn't gone away. Of course, the others aren't any better.

Goku was wearing an emo Black Shirt with thoroughly torn Blue Jeans, which may or may not explain his bad English. ”Get Dressed Guys,wee need to Study!”

“Right!” Said Vegeta,Raditz,And Marcellous as they ran to separate changing rooms to get rid of the Syndrome. Too bad it didn't work.

#19 Oct 01st, 5:53am
WendWriter

Heh! Great job, Mini! :D

#20 Oct 01st, 11:17am
Obelisk of Light

The Bloody Dance

Sporking:

Present: Konoha

Sakura Pov of t3h bad grammerz!!!!111!!!!

I woke up to people sceaming and probably doing something steamy. Or is it sceamy? ;) At first I thought it was me dreaming something steamy until Naruto came yelling that Konoha was getting attacked by mysterious punctuation marks such as #.

“Saaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkura-Channnnnnnnn” Naruto yelled "I'm hyperrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and I can't punctuate for shiiiiiiiiiiit! Save me!111!!!"

“What the fuck is wrong with this story? Everything!” I said I look outside to see two snake’s and one apostrophe attacking the city and I know that Orochimaru was behind it!

“Sakura-chan u got to go to Tsunade-Baa-Chan n talk 2 her on d mSn liek dis!1!21!” naruto said

(Hell yeah inner said)

(Orochimaru just went batshit because of this horror story)

“Naruto I’ll be right there” I yell

I put on my Black Short skit that was supposed to be a play and pink tank top that stopped above my belly button and fishnet on top. That shows off my belly button pierced and tattoo of a Sakura tree. I shape on my weapon’s pash on my thigh because, for some reason, I have all the time in the world to draw something good on myself, and put on my leg and arm warmers that hid my body weight(s). And bashed my hair to the wall because I was drunk enough to think that the wall was my hairstylist and put it in a ponytail.

(Like ino’s hair that up*, up and away?)

I ran as fast as I could to naruto but I was stop by a person I did and didn’t wat to see because my hairstyle was horrible.

Those crimson red eyes that could kill with a look.

“Sasuke-kun” I thought

“Ahh come on kick his ass” inner said (I have never seen greater OOCness than this.)

“NO we got to go to lady Tsunade” I thought Worried that Sasuke was here to kill her.

“Ah Sakura” Sasuke said he stood there at me with lust and arger in his eyes. I think he's got to get that Sharingan checked.

“Wat are u looking at Sasuke, hows m hairstyl!?!?11” inner said mad as hell (Vein in the head pope out and the Pope wonders what he's doing in this so-called story.)

I remender I had to go to the hokage for mission and she knew that Sasuke wanted something (A dictionary.)

So she knew he would not allow her to leave just yet. Not without giving him a dictionary.

I came back to my thought when Sasuke put Kanata at my neck. To stop me from-

Me getting away from Inner Sakura.

“wat do wat Sasuke-kun” I said with veamon in my throat If wannabe Pokemon are in her throat, she should be dead.

“Hn” “I wat u” he said, "Wat r u doin, babeh????!!!!!1111eleven11!!!!!

(“Wat after all these years he wat u now WOOOOWWW) inner yell

“Why would u wat me am weak” I could tell that he was not wanting no for answer

“Hn I’ll come for you after the konoha is been destroyed” he said well disappear in the dark because he'd just jumped in a dry well.

I was still supier (Uhh, what?) wat he said when ino and hinata grab me and pull me to the hokage

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When we got Lady Tsunade you could tell that she was pissed at how this story was going

“Wow she pissed” inner said to herself “yo Sakura I dare you to dare naruto to call her old” Inner said well she laugh her head off and followed Sasuke into the dry well.

“Shut up the vallige is getting attack and all u can say is dare naruto to call people names” I thought scolding my inner.

“Hokage Sama” Hinata and ino say at same time paicking their stuff pretty badly.

“YESS” She yell

“Wats happening Lady Tsunade” I said in a worried tone and I could tell the answer was not good

THAT DAMN OROCHIMARU” Said yelling “He’s attacking the vaillege (A wailing village.) and her has allied to the rock and Mist Coutey (A country/Coyote crossbreed.)” She said mad as hell thoging (Hiring a thug to throw something.) her Chair out window Making a large Hole in the wall

“Well wat can we do” I said

“Please go heal are injury’s Shinobi” She Yell in stern voice “This is top priority Sakura, Ino, Hinata NOW” Seaming at as a retard.

Ino and hinata and took the east part of the city Well I took the South and west part.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was running to the injury Shinobi’s when I saw something that cat my eye. A scroll that was lying on ground calling to me. So I pick it up and open it to see a girl in a garden with Sakura tree and different color flower. I knew she was not human so here I go.

“Umm hi” I said shyly

“Come on Sakura speak louder” “God I do it then” Inner said Angrily

“No I’ll do it” I thought

“Hello young one thank u for finding me” the women with a beadeilful Blue red and While Kimono *Head-desk* Spelling rape!

Said

“Wait the crest on the back her kimono that’s” I thought quisionly

“Dude that the Uchiha crest on her kimono” inner said sacredly worshipping the beadeilful Sue.

“Who is she” Me and inner yell in are thoughts

“Ahh so u know the clan crest am wear” she said “oh by the way my name is Phoenix Uchiha and am a the demon of time seal in this scroll” phoenix Said

“And by the look of thing outside I will give u the power go back in time to change the future”

WHAT REALLY inner and me yell

“Yes I knew u would say that. But there Is a down side” phoenix Said

“I knew she was going to say that” inner said

“Wat is it” I asked nicely know this was not going to be good.

Esercigy with a demon’s. U know how Gaara and naruto have to go thou with their demon’s. Bad ... mental ... images ...

I thought

“I would like see the outside world so if I can could I seal myself in u n tlak on MsN leik dIs!” phoenix asked with a nice guy smile

“Ahh wat do u think inner”

“Uhhhh ummm ahhhh why u asking me” smiling while eating cake and spreading it all over her face.

“Could u give me a sec?” I asked nicely

Sure Take ask long as you want” she said while starting to play a song

Mabushi kumai chinu sakura iroi kokoro hodo kete

Tsuki akari no naka kimi no kao ga ukande kieta

“Wow She sings good” inner Thought!

Machi tsuzuketa ano koe n'de te wo furu kage sagasu kedo

itsuka no kaze hoho ni furete haru o tsutaeru deshou

“Wow She does” “oh yeah back to thinking that propels”

awoku hikaru sakura namiki hana akari ya waraka no

Kimi to hanare kimi wo tatoru ano hi mitatsuki wa sagashite

“Hey Phoenix My answer it yes I will do it” I said Nevesovy

“Then here we go” She said then I started to fall asleep

To her song.

hiki dashi no naka shiketa hanabi kako daita mama

maichiru hana ware haru no namida kimi ga oshieta

Hana no youni kagayaite kaze no naka ikite yukou

suki wa michiru deshou sore douku douku akaruku terasu

Kono sakura no shita onaji omoi dakasun'da hito

ima toki wo koeze futari no kage sou toke sanaru deshou *mind goes blank*

“Ahh wat this feeling” I thought then blackout. The end of this chapter. THANK GAWD.

...

She can't even spell "want" correctly! You should have a look at her pathetic author's note. Ugh.

#21 Yesterday, 5:20am
WendWriter

Oh, Mini! You killed it! Great job! :D

#22 Yesterday, 11:18am

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